Chapter 22
CHAPTER 22
M ac
I stare out the windows of Nolan’s apartment at the Oxford skyline. I’d forgotten how great this view was. The night is cloudless and I can see the stars, and it takes me back to when I was a kid. I’d loved to stargaze. It had been a hobby, and I’d even asked for a telescope for my fourteenth birthday—which I got, though I have no idea how my mum had been able to afford it. A warmth of gratitude fills me, that she’d done whatever she needed to for me. I wonder what happened to it. If she had any sense, she should have sold it after I left. I haven’t thought about it for years. I never had time, with my studies and then entering the police. Also there aren’t many places in the city where there isn’t too much light pollution. The hills above Larchdown were perfect for viewing the night sky, though.
Nolan comes to stand beside me.
“Do you ever tire of it?” I ask and he gives a small sad smile.
“This view is the only thing that made me keep this place.”
This apartment was one he and Cliff bought together. They made a lot of memories here and I know it’s been hard for him since Cliff left, not only the emptiness, but the added cost when he had to buy him out of his share.
Below the stars another set of twinkling lights compete for attention from the city adorned in Christmas lights. With Christmas less than two weeks to go it makes a stunning sight.
It’s been several months since I’ve been here. Nolan used to hold dinner parties regularly and I’d always be invited. That all stopped when they split, though, and the only times I’ve been here since have been for an occasional night of pizza and watching bad movies. But mostly our routine this year has been the gym and then the pub.
Tonight, though, it’s different. Nolan is cooking dinner, and I’m a little anxious.
“What time’s Reece arriving?” I ask as Nolan offers me a glass of red wine. It must be something good he’s cooking if we’re getting wine instead of beer.
Nolan glances at the large Art Deco clock on the wall.
“At seven. Now, will you just relax?”
Damn, my anxiety is showing. It’s not like me, but then I’ve never been in this position before. Reece sent me a text earlier to say he had news, and they must have been discussing something at work because Nolan called me a few minutes later to invite me to dinner. It seems to be a big occasion, which adds to the anxious feeling making my stomach churn. I didn’t realise how much the possibility of finding out about my father, and even better a brother, meant to me until now.
“Tell your mum how happy I am to be asked to join you for Christmas dinner,” Nolan says, taking a drink from his own glass. “I really appreciate it.”
I understand the words he’s left unsaid—that the apartment will be too full of memories for him. I already noticed that the corner of the large open-plan lounge and dining room is not hosting its usual eight-foot Christmas tree when I first arrived. There are no decorations at all, which is also unusual for him. Nolan saw me looking and his expression was grim, his mouth pressed into a tight line. I gave him a huge hug and he sighed, giving a small growl of annoyance for his feelings, which is progress since I’d held him in the past while he soaked my shoulder with his tears. I never thought Cliff was worth that much water, but we can’t help who we love.
“She’s in her element, planning a full Christmas dinner for us.”
“Will loverboy be there?” Nolan gives me a shit-eating grin.
“He’s not my loverboy,” I grind out, knowing it’s useless. It doesn’t matter how many times I tell Nolan, he insists on winding me up. “And I don’t know. He might be working.”
Nolan gives me sad puppy-dog eyes and I nearly throw my glass at him. Instead I make a gruesome face and he laughs. But he had to go and mention Levi, didn’t he? I’d been doing very well at trying not to think about his tattooed body sprawled across his bed, cock in hand, and his beautiful face rapt in pleasure. Yes, I’ve been doing very well, until every time I close my eyes and that image is etched onto my retinas. I genuinely don’t know if he’ll be present at Christmas dinner. I hope so. But short of me going to Darla and demanding she let him have the day off, which I’ve considered but may be a step too far even for me, I’ll have to wait and see. But now Nolan’s brought him up I can’t not think of Levi.
I’m just considering how to dissolve my friendship with my best friend for the sake of my sanity when the doorbell goes.
Nolan buzzes him up and greets him at the door.
Reece steps through and I say hello.
“You wanted to see me. You said you had something,” I state and Nolan cuts in.
“Let me get him a drink first.”
“Sorry, I’m not known for my patience, and I’m keen to know what it is.”
“It’s fine,” Reece says with a smile. “I don’t have a lot of patience either.”
Still, Nolan fetches him a drink, but says we can’t do anything without him and he’ll be right back before disappearing into the kitchen. I forgive him because the smells that waft out when he opens the door are wonderful. He’s back within a few minutes.
“Dinner won’t be long so we might as well sit at the table.” He gestures to the dining table that’s in one half of the space.
I sit opposite Reece, with Nolan at the head of the table. Reece reaches into his pocket and brings out an envelope.
“I had a talk with my old man,” he says and I lean forward, eager to hear what he has to say. “He confirmed the story your mum told, that he met an English woman in a bar and her name was Marina.”
“Did you tell him about me?”
“I did.”
“What did he say?”
Reece wrinkles his nose slightly as if he’s discovered a bad smell.
“That he was surprised he managed to hit the target twice as he’s fired blanks ever since.”
“That’s it?” I sit back, not sure how to respond. But I have to admit, I’m more than a little disappointed.
“Yup.” Reece pops the p and I realise he’s not surprised. “I did say he was an asshole.”
I run a hand through my hair.
“Yeah, I believe you.”
“I brought some photos of him, if you’re interested. I had my mum find some from when they were first married. She scanned them and emailed them over so I printed them. I wondered if you wanted to show them to your mum. To see if she recognises him.”
I ignore the fact that I haven’t actually told my mum I’d found either my father or Reece, and latch onto the first part.
“You told your mum?”
“I did, and she was far more interested in knowing more about you.”
“Oh.” I don’t have an answer for that either.
“But I also think she’s intrigued about your mum.”
“Really?” Considering what happened to her, that shows a huge greatness of spirit. It’s the sort of response I expect from my mum too. Maybe Niall Fisher had a type, though obviously not one he was deserving of.
I look at the photos. They show a tall handsome man, and I can see the resemblance to both Reece and myself. But nothing that really tells me about his character.
“Thank you. I’ll show them to my mum and see what she says.”
“I think short of a paternity test, or some sort of DNA test between us, it’s the best we’ve got.”
I look at Reece and think about what I’ve learned of him so far. He’s also a man who my best friend trusts enough to go into business with.
“I’d be proud to call you brother, whatever,” I say and he smiles, nodding his head.
“Me too.” A sense of pride fills my chest. I will tell my mum when I visit again in a few days.
Nolan jumps up and declares dinner is ready, and within a couple of minutes we’re tucking into steak and new potatoes with tenderstem broccoli. As we eat I ask Reece a dozen questions about the States and the town he grew up in.