Chapter 27
CHAPTER 27
M ac
I try hard not to look at Levi during dinner, but it’s not easy. One, because he’s seated opposite me, and two, because Nolan keeps whispering things to him that make him laugh, and I’m sure he’s talking about me. Nolan catches me scowling at him and gives me a wink. I’ll be having strong words with my best friend later. I try to concentrate on talking to Reece, who’s sitting next to me, but he seems to be getting on fine with my mum, who’s the other side of him at the head of the table. I’m glad they’ve hit it off, otherwise this could have been a very awkward meal. It still is awkward, but it seems only for me.
Now I’ve told Levi that I need to stay away from him, it should feel like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders, but it doesn’t, nothing’s changed. If anything it feels worse. The yearning to reach out and touch him is even stronger now I’ve openly declared my position of not being able to do so. I think instead about when I can invite my mum over to my house, or maybe take her out, because there can be no more cosy dinners round the kitchen table. No comfortable companionship kitchen cleanups afterwards. I don’t think I can be in a room alone with Levi any more. I can’t trust myself.
His laughter draws my attention and I see Nolan smirking at me. I shoot him a murderous glare and he side-whispers something to Levi. Levi turns his full attention to me, his eyes the colour of dawn and a smile playing across his lips. He lifts his chin slightly, a familiar gesture, one he often uses as an expressive of defiance. This time there’s a subtle difference, as if he’s regarding me as a challenge, and I can’t help the way the look sends my blood south. If just a look can make me hard, I dread to think what else he can do to me. I am so fucked. The only thing I can do is keep my distance as much as possible. I also need to not get up from this table any time soon. I’m sure sporting a hard-on at the dinner table, especially at Christmas, is not the done thing.
Luckily, no one’s in a hurry to move, so I have time to think it away and never look across the table. I’m thankful that everybody wants to help and we tidy up together. Even though we all completely fill the kitchen, it’s fun to work together and I find I’m enjoying myself. By the time we’ve finished, everyone declares they’ve now got room for Christmas pudding, which Mum proudly brings out and douses with brandy before setting it alight.
We eat the pudding in the lounge, with Levi sitting back on the floor as there’s no other space available, and when we finish he jumps up and takes the bowls from everyone. I try to give him as neutral a smile as possible when he takes mine, and as soon as he’s deposited them in the kitchen, he’s back.
“I'm going to work soon and I need to get ready, so I’ll say goodbye now. It’s been great to meet you guys.”
Reece and Nolan stand and give him a hug like they’ve been friends for a long time. I get a warm glow that he seems to like my friend and brother so easily. Not that it should matter, as there can never be anything else, but still, I find it does matter to me... a great deal.
Once Levi’s left the room, Nolan plonks himself down next to me on the couch.
“I like him,” he whispers, leaning close.
I let out a small groan and close my eyes, tipping my head to rest on the back of the couch. I hear Nolan let out a chuckle and I know he’s not finished yet.
“Whatcha gonna do about it?”
“Nothing,” I say through gritted teeth. There’s nothing I can do.
“He’s really into you.”
“That’s really not helping,” I almost growl, though I tuck that little bit of knowledge away to be brought out when I’m on my own. I haven’t told Nolan all the implications of why I can’t act on all the impulse I get when I’m around Levi. I need to rectify that as soon as possible, but now is not the time. Instead, I ignore any further attempts to goad me, and talk to my brother. All too soon they decide to leave. I’m sorry to see them go, but I make plans to see Nolan tomorrow and Reece next week.
“I’m staying for a bit longer, Mum,” I say when they’ve left.
“Shall we watch a Christmas movie?” she asks, and I remember it was our thing after dinner.
“I’d love that,” I reply, and after a rather lengthy discussion that takes me right back to before I left where we’d good-naturedly argue over our favourite movies, of course I put forward the proposal of Die Hard and she counters it with Miracle on 34 th Street . We compromise and agree to watch both.
“I’ll make the popcorn,” she says, dashing off to prepare it, and I slowly walk up the narrow stairs to the bathroom, reflecting on how happy she is. It’s been a good day for her. Watching a couple of old movies with her is the perfect end to the day for me too.
After I’m finished, I open the door, turning off the light. All too late I see movement, and then I’m shoved backwards into the bathroom. I fight the instinct and training to immediately defend and protect as I already know who it is. He shuts the door and locks it.
Le—”
He clamps a hand over my mouth and pushes me back against the wall. The only light is coming from the moonlight through the window, and silver flecks shine in his eyes as he gives me the same look he did over the dinner table. The stark grey light makes the challenge in his jaw more angular. He’s like a porcelain statue and utterly beautiful.
He keeps his gaze steady until I nod my understanding that he doesn’t want me to speak, then he drops his hand from my mouth. What does he want, then, as this close proximity is more than I can take? He drops to his knees in front of me. He looks up, his face now mostly in shadow, and all I can see is the sardonic curl of his perfect lips.
I am most certainly screwed.
He deftly unbuckles my belt and undoes my jeans. Having his face so close to my cock makes it respond with lightning speed, and by the time he frees it from my boxer briefs it’s hard enough to knock nails in with. I swallow hard as a warm puff of his breath travels along it, as if he’s regarding it closely. This can’t happen. I should stop it, but I can’t. I’m only human, and a deeply flawed one at that.
Warm wetness engulfs me and takes my breath. I’m going to hell for this and I don’t even care. I can barely keep on my feet as his tongue plays around the head, followed by the perfect amount of pressure down my length. I feel a graze of his teeth and can’t hold back the thrust of my hips which seem to have a life of their own. He responds by taking me deeper so I hit the back of his throat. I want to run my fingers through the short spikes of his hair, hold him steady while I fuck his mouth, but a distant part of my brain rationalises that if I don’t touch him, it’s not really happening. It’s wrong, but instead I fist my hands by my side. I’m not going to last much longer anyway. I feel heat in my spine and tingling down my legs until they shake. I come with a final thrust, and he takes everything as I shudder to a stop. He gently slides his mouth off me. He doesn’t touch me again. He doesn’t even look at me as he rises and goes to the door, unlocking it. He pauses with his hand on the handle.
“Merry Christmas,” he whispers, before opening it and slipping out soundlessly.
I stand there in the dark for several minutes, trying to regain my breath, before I realise my jeans are round my knees and my dick is still hanging out. I tuck myself back in.
I wait upstairs until I hear the front door shut behind him as he leaves for work.
I know to avoid certain substances and activities as I have an addictive personality. I’ve never smoked or gambled, and have managed to keep alcohol consumption under control. But right now I’m high on Levi, and it’s never going to be enough. I’m already craving him, wanting him more than ever.