29. Chapter 28
Chapter 28
Alisha
T he next morning was a little bleak, it was snowing quite heavily and the wind with it was causing the chalet to creak and groan. I didn’t quite feel able to go to my ski lesson this morning, perfect timing as Hilde had also called to say she was unwell. So, I would spend my morning drinking coffee and working.
I needed to distract myself—there was still radio silence from Felix and to be honest, it was starting to irritate me. If he wasn’t interested anymore, then he needed to be clear. He didn’t seem like the type to play games but you couldn’t always assume things about people. Eventually, they would show you who they truly were.
I was halfway through my meagre cup of coffee, which matched my overall mood, before I let out a huff and closed my laptop down. Nothing seemed to spring out of my mind.
I looked out of the window, I couldn’t go out so there wasn’t a great deal I could do to keep myself busy. Ophelia was still asleep in her room which I didn’t blame her for, yesterday’s endeavours had worn her out.
I just hoped the weather would let up soon, so I could do something active. I decided to call my sister, as her sweet face would cheer me up.
“Hello, didi. Everything okay or am I gonna have to fight somebody?” Kiya asked immediately, as we were so close she could read my moods, even through a screen.
“I’m just so bored. We’re snowed in,” I grumbled and Kiya seemed to find this amusing as she started to laugh.
“Isn’t that like the dream though? I’m fricking jealous of you!!”
“Where’s Chou? I miss my baby.” My heart soared as Kiya flipped the screen so that I could see my precious boy, who was curled up in his bed, paws tucked in. He looked a little bigger than I remembered.
“Yeaaaah, I may have been giving him a few treats,” Kiya said sheepishly, waiting for me to scold her. But as long as my cat was happy and being pampered, I wouldn’t complain.
“Never mind.” I shook this off and then propped my phone up against the vase on the table in front of me. I focused on my little sister’s soft complexion and decided whether to get her advice about Felix.
“Bon, why are men so complicated?” I asked if I could have any superpower in the world, it would be to read minds. At least then I would stop worrying about what people thought. But there was a danger to that superpower, knowing everyone’s thoughts.
Hm, maybe just settle being you, Alisha.
“I haven’t had a relationship so I dunno, didi. Is there something I should know?” Kiya cocked her head slightly.
“I’m hung up on someone and I’m scared I’ve pushed him away.”
“Why, what made you think that?” Kiya was puzzled at this. I hadn’t really come up with a clear reason. I didn’t want to think I was being ghosted.
“Haven’t heard from Felix since yesterday, usually he texts me back but he hasn’t responded.” I flicked at a loose piece of skin by my nail bed before biting it off.
“So, call him then. That’s your solution, you don’t always have to wait for the man to call. Take charge, didi. Have faith in yourself, as you are that bitch,” Kiya told me and it almost sounded as simple as she was making it out to be.
“Language, bon.” I laughed at my beautiful but brilliant sister.
“Trust me, I know my shit. So listen to your little sister and follow that big and beautiful heart of yours. Then tell me all about it later, cause I’ve gotta go!” Kiya exclaimed.
“Hm, we’ll see bon. Talk later,” I said and then pressed the red button to hang up. I decided to hide my phone away for the rest of the morning, because staring at it for another few hours wouldn’t help.
I decided after about ten minutes to cook something sweet and luckily, we had done a food shop recently so the ingredients I needed were here. I had a craving for gulab jamun parfait, a light Indian dessert that was relatively easy to make. Gulab jamuns were sweet round dumplings, made with paneer.
What I needed to do was fry the dumplings and soak them in a sugary syrup, which was the traditional way. After this, I would make a parfait with Greek yoghurt, accompanied by nuts and saffron.
My stomach grumbled at the thought of this and it would absolutely go down a treat with Ophelia. I would wake her up and surprise her with it.
Once I made the gulab jamuns, I thinly sliced about five of them and then cut the others into quarters. With the yoghurt, I decided to add some cream and mixed these together. On the hob, I boiled some milk, with a bit of water and saffron. Once everything was combined, I needed to chill the parfait in the fridge for about half an hour, which I left in a medium sized bowl. Usually, you could put them into small glasses but we didn’t have these in the kitchen. I’d made enough anyway to just about halfway fill the bowl.
The sweet smell wafted through the room and made me feel warm inside, it reminded me of being back at my parents and I really did miss them. I couldn’t wait to spend Christmas with them, like usual, but part of me wished perhaps I could stay here, to see the magic of the holidays in Austria.
I wanted to know more about Felix’s family specifically. Mira seemed very sweet and I could see she was quite protective of her brother. I mean, who wouldn’t be after watching him get his heart broken?
I thought back to his ex, who I had seen briefly the other night. I didn’t know a lot about her but I had this sinking feeling that perhaps she still had a hold on Felix. Maybe he kissed me to make her jealous?
They were supposed to be getting married, for heaven’s sake. How could I compete with that?
Stop the irrational thinking, you fool.
Well, you are a fool for him.
I couldn’t believe I was having an argument with myself in my head but that’s just what my brain always did. Sometimes I hated it, sometimes I loved it. Right now, I wanted to switch off and bury myself in between my pillows.
Kiya was right though, I needed to pluck up the courage and ring Felix myself. There was nothing to lose, I wouldn’t be embarrassing myself or him. If he sent me to voicemail, then that would be my answer. Then, I could just try and forget about him.
But how could I forget about someone so incredible as him?
After picking and chewing at some more loose skin by my nails, I knew I needed to stop.
You can do this. You can do this. You can—
My erratic thoughts were interrupted by a sharp rap on the door and it almost knocked me off my seat. Me and Ophelia weren’t expecting anyone so I was curious to who it was.
I trudged my way to answer it and opened the door without so much as glancing up at who was in front of me.
“Hi,” a voice I had grown to adore greeted me and everything I had thought about went out the window. I lifted my head to gaze at him and take in his features. He looked tired with evident bags under his eyes but he didn’t look away from me. His eyes looked as though there was a story to tell. I’d be willing to listen.
“C-come in,” I told him, shuffling to the side so he could enter. I noticed that there was no car in the drive and my eyes widened at the realisation that he must have walked here. In this damn weather.
He must be freezing.
“Felix, bloody hell. You must be cold, did you walk here?” I asked a very obvious question but it was valid.
As I shut the door, Felix slipped his hand into mine and squeezed me gently. His fingers were so cold that I was worried he’d get frostbite.
“I couldn’t drive here, and I wanted to see you,” Felix said, a slight roughness to his tone.
He wanted to see me.
“Sit down and I’ll make you a hot drink.” I gestured for him to take a seat but he didn’t budge, keeping a hold of me. I loved that.
“I don’t need that. I need you .” And my heart dropped.
I need you. I needed him too.
“Felix…” My voice trailed off, not being able to say anything else. So, I would just listen.
“A lot has happened over the past twenty-four hours, it’s been crazy. I’m so sorry that I didn’t reach out to you, I didn’t want to freak you out or push you away. I’ve got a lot of baggage and I thought maybe you didn’t want to be with someone that does.” In his eyes, I could tell a war was going on. I needed to let him know I was here to help him through it, if he’d let me.
“Whatever has happened Felix, I’m here for you. You can always talk to me.” I offered him a soft smile, reaching my other hand up to cup his cheek. My fingers grazed the stubble that was forming.
“Okay. Maybe I will take you up on that offer of a drink, I’m shit cold.” Felix let out a laugh and I copied.
“Go and sit down then.” I gave him a gentle push but he didn’t let go of my hand. His fingers traced my cheekbone and then my trembling lips before leaning down so lips hovered above mine. All he needed to do was close the space between and make me his.
But I already was.
The kiss started off as gentle before becoming needy, as though we hadn’t seen each other in months. The urgency for one another was real and the kiss became heated, his tongue edging into my mouth and his grip becoming tighter on my waist. All I could taste was him and I decided that that was my favourite now.
“Well, I’m just gonna go back to my room,” a voice startled us, and I didn’t need to look up to know it was Ophelia. Very quickly, she scarpered back to her room.
Poor woman, this must have scarred her for life.
“Maybe we should go to yours,” Felix murmured. As much as I wanted to rip his clothes off, I needed him to get things off his chest first.
“Later,” I told him, signalling that I would make his drink. Felix waited for me patiently, his eyes never waning from me. It made me blush with the level of intensity in his look.
I handed him his hot beverage, he had decided on a coffee, and then took a seat next to him. He held the mug between his hands, to heat himself up. There was still a few bits of snow on his jacket which I brushed off.
“First, I’ll start off with the first news,” Felix said. Shit, it sounded like I needed to brace myself for whatever he’d say next.
I wanted to ride through the storm with him, to crash through the erratic waves and be his anchor.