30. Chapter 29
Chapter 29
Felix
T alking about my tragic childhood was always a sensitive topic for me, but I had huge trust in Alisha, as she waited patiently next to me. I knew I needed to be brave but the last time I had opened up to a woman about this was Evie. Her reaction at the time had been shock and now come to think of it disdain. Disapproval. As if she didn’t want to know.
When Evie turned up at mine last night, it was all the confirmation I needed to keep her in the past and focus on my future. My future with Alisha. I wanted her in it, to create many more fun and exciting memories with her. And if I wanted to be with her, she needed to know everything about me.
I started to explain everything to Alisha about the tragic start in life that me and my sister had.
“I used to have two parents, we lived in a small house but it was comfortable. They would argue a lot in front of us, so much so that my dad just decided to leave one day and never come back. You can imagine the effect this had on my mum.” I closed my eyes, reliving the horrible memory of my mother trying to get him to stop. Shortly after this, she turned to drinking and it was the only thing that she seemed to enjoy from then on.
Alisha took a deep breath, her shoulders were hunched and I watched the clocks set in motion through the expression on her face. She was clearly feeling sympathetic as she gave my hand a squeeze, her beautiful eyes willing me to continue.
“I remember the first night my mother didn’t come back. Mira was very young and waited by the front door until she came home. She didn’t eat because she was worried, neither did I.” I kept my eyes on Alisha, watching her intake breath and exhale. I wondered what she was thinking in that brilliant mind of hers.
“Oh gosh,” she gasped and if I wasn’t wrong, I could see a few tears brimming in her eyes.
“The neighbours caught on, as they’d heard her come home and start yelling.” I remembered this so vividly, I almost didn’t want to but it was forever etched in my memories. My mother’s cries were still so clear in my head.
“We were very quickly taken into care, but refused to be separated. Mira was all I had and we didn’t have any other family members to look after us. Well at least, we didn’t think we had anyone.” I shifted in my seat, not wanting my body to go rigid. Alisha’s hand had never wavered and she was invested in what I was telling her.
She was honestly so fucking amazing, I was definitely ‘punching’. A term I had learnt from Alisha.
“What was it like, in care?”
“Rough. But we weren’t there too long before our aunt found out about us. My mother had ended up in prison and my aunt caught wind of it. She immediately demanded to know where we were and she soon found us. It was the first time we’d ever properly met her and she welcomed us into her home, without batting an eyelid.” I cracked a smile at this, as from that point in my life I had discovered hope. That someone would love us and keep us safe, as that was all we wanted.
“I’m so pleased she found you, she sounds wonderful,” Alisha spoke gently and I nodded in agreement.
“Me too and she really is. Mira and I ever since have never gone without, we’ve got a family and that’s all we could ask for,” I said, but this wasn’t the end of the story as now I had to tell Alisha about the possibility of meeting up with my mother.
“Thank you so much for telling me, Felix. I wish you could see how amazing you are. And I am here for you, whenever you need to talk.”
“I need your opinion, Alisha. I don’t know what to do.” I looked down at my lap and Alisha didn’t reply, rather waited for me to continue.
“My mother wants to meet up with me and Mira. She’s in town.” I still felt slightly angry whenever I mentioned the word ‘mother’, but at least for the first six years of my life, she had been there.
“Do you want to see her?” Alisha looked at me again with wide eyes, processing this information. I wondered what she would do in my position. Would she bite the bullet and go and meet the woman who had left me and my sister to fend for ourselves?
“I do and I don’t. Part of me wants closure, to hear her out. Maybe she’s changed,” I admitted.
And maybe you do want a mother, after all these years.
“I get that. It’s totally your decision and you wouldn’t be wrong if you decided not to see her.” Alisha had edged a little closer to me and I caught a whiff of her sweet scent.
“Would you come with me if I do?” I gazed back at her, feeling confident in what I had asked as really I didn’t think I could go without her.
“Of course I can,” Alisha said with no hesitation.
That’s my girl.
“Thank you, for listening to me and being amazing. I do have more to tell you though and I’m not sure if you will like it.” I mean if it were me, I wouldn’t feel great knowing that her ex had turned up to see her.
“Try me,” Alisha said and I let out a deep breath before telling her everything about last night.
***
Evie sat in front of me, perfectly poised and sparkly eyed as she’d always been. She wanted to talk about what had happened between us and how it led up to the break-up.
“I did love you, Felix. But I felt something was missing. I tried to fight for us and I knew you did too.” Well, it was mainly me that had fought for our withering relationship. Evie would spend most evenings out with friends, some that didn’t even care about her like I did.
“So, if you knew things weren’t working then why didn’t you call off the wedding?” I could feel my blood beginning to boil a little but I tried to remain calm and collected.
“ I felt that maybe I could have given us that chance. I was dressed and ready to drive to the church with my bridesmaids. But then, I had an epiphany. I couldn’t go through with it and I’d tried to get a hold of you, to let you know. I’m really sorry, Felix. I wish it hadn’t ended this way.” Evie looked sincere and I wondered if she really was telling the truth. Well, I’d have to believe it. Even if she finally told me seven months later.
“I thought we could be honest with each other. Evie, I would have built a whole new world for you to make you happy,” I told her, she needed to know just how much I would have done for her. She’d trampled on my heart and my life. But now, I was taking both back. She had no power over me anymore. None.
“I know that now,” Evie replied sadly and for a moment, I felt some sympathy for her.
“ All we can do is move forward, focus on our own happiness.” I saw her grimace at this which made me confused. Wasn’t she happy with her new man?
“ Of course, is there anyone on the horizon for you?” she asked. I didn’t feel like she really needed to know but my feelings for Alisha growing and admitting them out loud to Evie would be clarity. I wanted to close that chapter, barricade the past with a tough brick wall and never look back.
“ Yes, I am seeing someone.” And someone pretty fucking great too. I just hoped I hadn’t messed things up with her.
“ Me too. He’s French, very funny. He likes to make me laugh and cook me great dinners,” Evie said. This would have bothered me months ago but it did nothing to me now. I didn’t even blink.
“ Nice,” I said awkwardly. Sensing this, Evie stood up to make her leave and I was extremely thankful that she had read the room.
“ I hope we can maybe be friends, Felix. But I understand if not. Maybe think about it? You have my number.” Evie gave me a small nod before vacating my house.
I didn’t have her number and I would never want it again. I decided there and then I didn’t want to be friends or see her again. There was no place for her in my life and it felt fucking great to admit that to myself. This would be the end of thinking about Evie and what she was doing with her life.
***
“Wow,” Alisha had finally said as I leant back against the chair. She then cleared her throat, running her tongue on her bottom lip and then teasing it between her teeth. My trousers tightened at this and now I realised how badly I wanted her. She was so close to me now, having moved a few centimetres on the sofa.
“I know,” I breathed, a shaky laugh escaping from within me.
“I’m so bloody proud of you.” Alisha squeezed my arms gently before pulling me into a much needed hug. I sank into her, resting my head in the crook of her neck. One of my favourite spots.
I needed to hear that, to know someone believed in me and I knew now that I needed to make Alisha mine. I couldn’t lose her. I never wanted to.
“Sweetheart, I want to hear about you now. Are you alright?” I brushed a loose strand of her dark hair that had fallen against her flushed cheek, tucking it behind her ear.
“I am now that you are here.” That was enough to scoop her up in my arms and carry her to her bedroom, placing her underneath me quickly.
“We have to be quiet, because of Ophelia.” Alisha giggled as we were huddled under her covers.
“Hm, with what I’m about to do to you next, I don’t think you can be.” I palmed her perfect breasts through her shirt, wanting to rip it open and swirl my tongue over her nipples. She let out a soft whimper as my fingers were crawling through her trousers and moving her underwear to one side so I could access her throbbing pussy.
So wet for me already.
I knew I would tease her first before having my cock inside of her. But whatever she wanted from me, I would give her. I paused my teasing, waiting for her to tell me what to do.
“It’s all about you, sweetheart. Tell me what you want.”
“Fuck me now, Felix.” Alisha’s eyes were full of lust and I knew that after this, there would be no going back. I didn’t want to.
I’d mark her as mine tonight.