Chapter 32 #2
“I fully intend to accept her apology now that she has offered it. I can do no less,” Elizabeth replied.
“However, I cannot be as certain I would invite either of my parents into my life again. How would my mother react to Alex? How would Papa? If I have a girl, how will they treat her? Will they favour one of my children over another?” Elizabeth paused for several moments before she began again.
“I learned many lessons in parenting from my parents, and nearly every one of them are behaviours I would not wish to emulate. What kind of grandparents would they be if they were such terrible parents? They seem to be aware of the mistakes they made with my sisters and me, but how will they remedy them? What will happen when Lydia is finished with school and returns home? Kitty is content to remain here in London, but will they attempt to persuade her to return to Longbourn so they can make up for all the ways they have been terrible parents? I have so many questions that I would like to ask them, but then, that would require me to be in their presence again, which is something I am not ready to do.”
“Give it time, Elizabeth,” her aunt advised. “You do not have to decide today. Let me read what you have written, and I will offer advice if I have any. I think you are correct to go slowly, and I recommend that you write to them for some time before you even consider seeing them again.”
“Once we leave London, we will not return for some time. We will not be returning in the autumn, at least, we will not if it is as we suspect and I am again with child,” Elizabeth replied, her voice trailing off as she spoke of their suspicions.
Her aunt’s face broke into a wide smile. “That is wonderful, Lizzy. I confess I had suspected, seeing how emotional you were, and, well, there were other small indications, but I had not wanted to say anything. Do you know how far along you might be?”
“I have missed my courses for two months in a row. I expect to feel the quickening sometime in July if I am indeed with child,” Elizabeth said.
“However, William and I are cautious not to speak of it too much. We … we believe I may have lost a child around Christmas. I had missed my courses for one month, and then suddenly, unexpectedly, I began to bleed rather heavily. It lasted longer than usual, and when I consulted with Mrs Reynolds, she expressed concern that I may have miscarried. We had only begun to suspect …” Elizabeth broke off as tears filled her eyes.
Darcy and Gardiner returned to the room just then. He immediately went to his wife and knelt in front of her. “What is it, dearest?” he asked, taking her hands in his. “Are you well?”
“I am well, my love,” she reassured him. “I was merely speaking to my aunt about”—she paused to breathe deeply—“I was telling my aunt about the loss we experienced at Christmas. We have spoken about it to so few, and I know my aunt would understand.”
He pulled her into his embrace. “You are well?” he asked again, feeling her nod against his chest. He also felt her tears as they wet the front of his shirt, and continued to hold her until she pulled back.
They nodded at each other in silent communication before they both turned to the older couple.
Darcy had already spoken of these things to Gardiner on another visit, as he had needed to speak with another man about their loss and had not felt he could speak to his uncle about the matter.
“What have you and my wife decided to do about your parents, Lizzy?” Gardiner asked after the Darcys seemed to have recovered and all four were seated.
Darcy and Elizabeth were on the settee, his arm draped around her shoulders as he gathered her into his embrace.
The Gardiners were inclined to overlook this breach of propriety within the family party because it was obvious that Elizabeth needed the comfort of her husband for this conversation.
“I will write them both, or rather, we will each write to my parents,” she said, turning slightly to look at her husband.
“However, I am not ready to see them and am not certain when, or if, I will ever be ready to be in their presence again. It will take considerably more than just one letter to persuade me to allow them in my life and even more to allow them around my children. I … I would not want my children to experience what I did; I will not allow them to overlook one child while favouring another. As I said to my aunt, what I learned from my parents was how not to parent my child, and I have little faith they will be better as grandparents.”
“That is a harsh assessment, but I believe it may be warranted in this case,” Gardiner replied after a moment.
“Your mother was frequently difficult and rather harsh in her assessment of you, and your father was indolent and permitted your mother far too much latitude without being willing to correct her. They are both finally aware of their failings, but that does not mean they have tried to remedy them, as they are still allowing you and your husband to care for their unmarried daughters. Darcy told me the letters you received offered an apology for their poor decisions but did not make any overtures towards restoration.”
Elizabeth nodded. “No, nothing was said about any visits between us and them, not that I would be inclined to do so regardless. Kitty did not indicate that her letter from Mama suggested she return home.”
Mrs Gardiner agreed. “You are correct. Kitty was so surprised by the letter she asked me to read it to confirm that it truly said what she thought it did, and it mentioned an apology but nothing about Kitty returning home. She mentioned at least twice that Kitty should ‘take every opportunity to enjoy herself’ while in London.”
“I wonder if any other of my sisters have received a letter,” Elizabeth asked.
“It is too soon for us to have heard from Mary, but a letter could have arrived from Lydia by now, and Jane is here in town. Do you think she wrote to either of them, or did she only write to the middle daughters she overlooked?”
“Jane has not visited of late—she is growing closer to her confinement and has been rather miserable as London has grown warmer. Unfortunately, she is already miserable, and she still has several months to go, and the heat and smell in London will only worsen,” Mrs Gardiner said.
“It is a shame that Pemberley is too far away for Jane to travel there. I would suggest Rosings, but I would not want to impose on Richard so soon after his marriage,” Darcy said.
Shortly after Mary’s wedding, Mrs Martin, who had served as both governess and companion to all three of the youngest Bennet girls at various points, resigned from that position.
No one in the family was surprised when, shortly after that occurred, Richard Fitzwilliam, the Master of Rosings, proposed to Mrs Martin and was accepted.
While Lord and Lady Matlock had initially protested the connection, when faced with their son marrying a gentlewoman who had briefly been in service to him not marrying at all, they chose to support the marriage.
That marriage had occurred earlier in the year in a private ceremony at Matlock House.
The Darcys had not been included in the guest list, mainly because Richard had been impatient and unwilling to wait any longer to make the widow his bride.
Mrs Gardiner promised to send a note to Jane to ask, and she and Elizabeth planned to call on her soon.
Elizabeth had visited Jane on occasion since they arrived in London, but the demands on Elizabeth’s time frequently made these visits difficult.
The two couples opted to change the topic away from the Bennets and began to discuss the Gardiners’ plans to visit Pemberley again this summer.
Gardiner was starting to contemplate purchasing an estate of his own and hiring a manager to run his businesses to give him more time to spend with his family.
Darcy offered assistance, and the two cheerfully discussed possibilities, with their wives providing additional input.