Chapter 4
Kellan
T he dismissal of everything I was feeling hurt.
Of course, I’d known he wouldn’t just be glad to see me, not with how he’d glared at me every time we were in the same vicinity since I moved into town, but still.
We would have to figure out how to exist in the same friend circle now, and I had a feeling neither of us had many people, other than those at the Inn. Sure, he had his mom—and I really liked Loreena a lot, she was a great lady—but Felix wasn’t what you called… sociable, exactly.
As I drove home from the Inn, I wondered what had happened to him. During our weekend together, he’d mentioned his love of thrill-seeking extreme sports. Maybe it had been a mishap during one of his adventures? Then again, what were the odds? It would be more likely that he was in a car accident.
Either way, I knew that an accident with such life-changing repercussions would change a person mentally as well. Hell, after my father had a back injury while shoveling mulch of all things about a decade ago, the post-surgery pain changed him a lot for a few years. Once he was healed and not in constant pain anymore, he even apologized to mom and me, because he knew how bad it had been for us.
But Felix, ever since I saw him that fateful day three years ago, had seemed… grumpy. In pain—I recognized that from my dad even if I hadn’t seen Felix’s cane and the way he moved—and so different from the self-assured, easygoing man I’d known for a weekend… It had to be difficult.
I was self-aware enough to know that maybe he hated me because I was a reminder of the man he’d once been. Anything else made no sense. Well, he’d thought I was a stalker when we met at the restaurant that day. Which, like I’d told him, I hadn’t known this was his hometown.
Okay, that was a lie. And a truth. He’d mentioned being from a small town called Fairville during our weekend. I had immediately forgotten the information, until I’d seen the listing for the job. It took me meeting him again to realize the connection.
The important thing was that I’d not stalked him. I’d just gotten a job in a town with a familiar sounding name after it had been mentioned to me once about two years prior. The fact that Felix still didn’t believe me hurt, too.
I was a mess of hurt by the time I got home. I was an extroverted introvert by nature, and I liked people I could choose to hang out with. Put me in a situation where I didn’t know anyone, and I was incredibly uncomfortable.
Most of the time at work I got along with people just fine, even those prejudiced a-holes. But then I’d come home and I’d figure out what I wanted to eat for dinner and I’d be alone. By choice. I suppose I was one of those “alone, not lonely” types.
I decided to check my yard for anything that needed doing, before I’d become glued to my couch and my PlayStation 5. Yes, I’d finally splurged and gotten one, and it was great. A teacher’s salary, no matter how decent the cost of living here was, didn’t allow much leeway for indulgences. The best I’d done in recent memory was the PS5, some new games, and a nice, 9-inch friend with a suction cup at the blunt end.
And pizza once a week. Mustn’t forget about pizza.
As I went to check my mailbox, I saw my neighbor across the street, Bree Patterson, sitting on her porch with a mug of tea. I gave her a little wave, and she waved back.
We weren’t close friends, but we chatted on occasion. She was a mom of two teenagers, her husband owned the local hardware store, and she sometimes felt a bit trapped by her life. Okay, so maybe we’d had wine a couple of times in the past year. She wasn’t from around here, either, unlike her husband, and she missed her non-snowy home state, especially in the winter.
I might’ve also mentioned this guy I’d been super into who slipped through my fingers, to her. Yeah, I was starting to think maybe we were the kind of friends you got because of proximity? Not really super close emotionally, but you could talk to them about a lot of stuff you couldn’t to your other friends.
I was a firm believer in people needing a good shoulder sometimes, but there also needed to be someone you could chat with confidentially that was outside your regular everyday world. Maybe Bree was that for me?
Her husband was a total beefcake. Tattooed from neck down, kinda similar vibes to Charlie’s partner Teague. He seemed like a good guy who just wanted everyone to be happy. Bree might’ve mentioned she resented that sometimes. He was too solution-oriented, apparently, whatever that meant.
Anyway, I took my mail inside and forgot all about doing anything else outdoors.
As I went through the small pile of envelopes, I spotted what was a clear wedding invite. I frowned. I was pretty sure nobody in my life had mentioned a wedding.
I tore the tasteful-yet-boring cream colored envelope open and pulled out a card.
“Well, crap. ” I hung my head. Then I got out my cell phone and called my mom.
“Kellan, honey, what’s wrong?” she asked, and I realized I should probably call her more often and not just when in a minor crisis.
“Have you checked your mail today?”
“What? No. Let me see, I think your dad brought it inside. Yes, here it is.”
I trudged to the couch and sat down while she flipped through their mail.
“Oh,” she exhaled suddenly. I heard her open an envelope smoothly, likely using the letter opener she had in the end table drawer by the front door. “Oh, Kellan….”
I turned my gaze from the living room window to the invitation in my hands. “Why would he want me to go to his wedding?”
Mom sighed. “I don’t know. Maybe she, uh, Kate, asked who his best friends growing up were?”
“Well obviously, I’m not going.” Before Mom could object, I added, “I don’t have a plus one, and that’s the only way I’d go, okay?”
“There’s still time. It’s in late September. You can find your plus one and go there and show what a successful, wonderful man you are and have someone on your arm and—”
“Mom, I’m not even dating anyone. I’m not going to start looking for a guy to date just so I can go to my former bestie slash first love slash first heartbreak’s fucking wedding!”
“Kellan Alexander Huntley,” she said in her mom-tone.
“Sorry. I just….”
“I know, baby, I know.” She sighed. “Just so you know, your dad and I will be going. His parents have been in Florida for a few years now, but we still send cards for birthdays and Christmases. It would be weird if we didn’t go, especially since the wedding will be so close in Montgomery.”
“I’ll think about it.”
We chatted for a while more. I kept running my fingers across the embossed letters that spelled out Riley West. I ignored Kate Anderson, because I didn’t know who she was, but once, I’d known Riley better than I knew myself.
And then when I’d had that revelation about who I really was and told Riley, he’d just… he hadn’t taken it well. Not after I kissed him.
I rubbed my hand over my face and pushed the memories aside. They still made me cringe after more than a decade.
To forget all about Riley and That Night, I put the invitation back into its envelope and stuck the envelope between a couple of my plants on the top shelf in my kitchen. I’d still see it there when I watered the plants so I couldn’t forget it forever, but it wouldn’t be in my face all day every day, either.
Part of me wanted to go just so I could get closure. So I could see him happy and then maybe I could finally let it go once and for all.
First loves, as far as I understood, were always tricky. When you did the queerest of things of falling for your best, practically only , friend that was straight?
I harrumphed and went to figure out food. Hell, maybe I deserved some pizza and to get lost in some God of War or maybe one of the Uncharted games. Yeah, that was what I’d do.
Otherwise, I’d grab a bottle of wine and go to bother Bree, and I still had to work tomorrow so a wine hangover wasn’t a good idea.
I t was the next weekend before Law, Oak, and the kids were ready for hiking.
I went to have breakfast with them at the Inn, and then we, with the three dogs, headed up the little hill toward the cabins and the trails beyond.
“I’ve figured out a few different routes, one of which is good for biking, too,” Law explained as Oak and the kids ran to the little pond behind the nicest looking cabin.
“Oh, that’s nice. If I had that kind of coordination, I’d rent a bike for it for sure. Are Nic and Dana planning on that?”
Steve walked past me, bumping against my leg and I gave him a half-hearted pet as he passed me.
“Yeah, bike rentals at least. We’re trying to figure out other outdoor activities, too. We’re trying to decide whether we want the pond for fishing or swimming at the moment.” He smiled as he watched his family run toward the start point of the first trail ahead of us.
“I think swimming might be nice with the cabins right there,” I mused, then chuckled. “Not that I’ve ever been much of a fisherman.”
Law smiled. “Understandable. I’m a desert boy, so it’s been a bit of an adjustment living in the seasons. The kids loved it when Oak made a skating rink out of the pond last winter, though.”
“Oh, that sounds great, actually. Skating I can do. Not enough to play hockey or anything, but for some reason my coordination doesn’t hate shoes with knives.”
“Come on!” Tristan yelled from the woods’ edge. “Daddy and Mr. Kellan, less yapping and more walking!”
I snorted and shook my head as Law chuckled at his youngest.
Once we were in the woods, I could tell that Law had taken great care in marking the path. There were no obstacles, which reminded me. “Do you think there’d be a portion of the woods where you could make a wheelchair accessible route? I know a handful of wheelchair users of all ages who would love that.”
Law perked up and hummed thoughtfully. “I’m working with Nic on that, but I think I might have a spot we could use for a ramp from the parking lot….”
“Aaand he’s gone,” Oak teased his partner. He came to walk with me instead as Law, deep in thought, tagged along with the kids and Ranger.
The other two dogs were off leash and did their own thing, while they clearly kept an eye on us at all times.
I smiled. “Law seems into his job.”
“Oh yes,” Oak confirmed, beaming. “He’s much happier here than back in Arizona. Here he gets to do all the outdoorsy stuff. Even when he sometimes complains about the weather, it’s clear he loves it.”
Chuckling, I nodded. “I can imagine it’s not for everyone. This is my home state and I love it, but this far north… the snow can get a bit intense.”
We chatted a little about snow and snow sports—Oak was from Utah and knew all about both things—until we got to a small crossroads.
“I’m making a proper sign for this spot and a couple of others,” Law said, gesturing at a random stick he or someone else had stuck in the logical place in the Y of the paths. “If you go left here, it’s about a mile’s hike with some harder elevation spots. Nothing I wouldn’t take my kids to.”
“There’s a really big boulder in one spot!” Tristan exclaimed, jumping from one foot to another.
“To the right, the way is easier and shorter, also this is where the path is best for bikes. Then around half a mile from here, there’s another crossing for the longest route I’ve mapped so far. It’s about two miles total.” Law explained, while Harper, their eldest, went to snuggle under his arm for a few moments. Law squeezed her almost absently, then kissed the top of her head when she was done with the short hug.
I nodded thoughtfully. “Let’s start with the left side and see if we can do the shortest one too?”
“Sounds good. The short one comes close to our house at the midpoint; the kids might have a secret path there.”
“I promise not to tell anyone,” I said, lifting my hand like a boy scout before Tristan could complain.
Harper started to push him forward to the left, where Marlie and Ranger were already going after Cricket.
“Nice save,” Oak stage-whispered to me.
“He’s a teacher; he probably knows as many, if not more, tricks we do,” Law commented.
I made a zipping my lips motion. “Professional secrets.”
Chuckling, we followed the kids, with Steve walking behind us.
“I can’t believe these dogs,” I said, definitely not for the first time.
Law grinned. “They’re really special. We’re hoping that given enough time, Marlie can train Ranger to chill off leash, too. She’s not even trying yet, we haven’t had him that long and she’s young so we’ve told her not to rush any training. Neither of them needs to feel like they failed at something.”
“And if something happened to that dog, she’d be devastated,” Oak concluded quietly, making a face.
“Oh trust me, I’ve heard all about Ranger by now.” I chuckled, shaking my head fondly. “She loves that dog so much.”
“We’ve told her he’s not her responsibility alone, but so far the only times we’ve had to do anything in her stead were when she was sick for a few days. She’s incredibly serious and diligent about him.” Law sounded so proud, and I could understand the feeling.
“You guys have great kids,” I murmured. “I’m not just saying it, either. Trust me, I see all sorts of examples of parenting and….”
Law frowned. “I can imagine.”
Oak, for some reason, grunted something that sounded a lot like “Bratly.”
A t one point, Law and the kids were chatting animatedly as they walked, so Oak and I slowed down to let them do their thing.
“So…,” Oak started. Yeah, I’d kind of been expecting this, if I was honest. “What’s the weird tension between you and Felix?”
I sighed and frowned. “You’re friends with him, right?”
He nodded. “I am. He’s originally my uncle Teague’s best friend, but being that we were the only single people in the group for a while, we spent some time together in all our extended family functions.”
I wasn’t sure what made me want to know, but I still asked, “Did you and Felix ever…?”
Oak snickered. “No, no. We decided our age gap was too big. Not that there was any actual interest at any point.”
I frowned. “Isn’t he younger than Law?”
He widened his eyes theatrically. “We don’t mention that out loud.” Then laughed again.
Well then. I smiled and hoped he’d forgot his question. He hadn’t, of course.
He nudged me with his elbow. “So?”
Sighing some more, I quietly replied, “There’s some history. We knew each other a handful of years ago for a bit.”
Oak stopped, and I halted too, turning to look at him. His expression was serious. “You’re trying to sound all nonchalant, but you’re not,” he accused gently. “He meant something to you.”
I shrugged, trying to brush his words off, and continued to walk. “Doesn’t matter now.”
Something about the way he almost harrumphed made me think he’d go to Felix about this at some point, but right then, I couldn’t tell him not to. The truth of it was, that no matter how much Felix wanted nothing to do with me, I still wanted him. Didn’t mean I could have him or that it would even be healthy, of course.
“Mr. Kellan? Look, there’s the boulder!”
I mustered a smile for Tristan and walked faster to catch up with him.
“Oh, it’s a big one, isn’t it,” I said, touching the surface of the stone as I pushed Felix out of my brain. “Do you know what kind of rock this is?”