Chapter 34
Chapter Thirty-Four
APRIL
Sunsets should be beautiful.
Watching the sky turn shades of red, purple, and orange while allowing yourself to finally take a deep breath and let the day wash over you should be something to look forward to.
I hadn’t felt that since I was small enough to sit on my mother’s lap when she enjoyed her cup of tea before putting me to bed.
That never changed. Even today, as the bright orb slowly disappears on the horizon, I still don’t feel that peace.
I feel dread instead.
Immortality sucks.
Being a monster sucks even more.
“Your name is April.”
Staring at my reflection in the mirror, I can clearly see my heart jackhammering against my ribcage, the fabric of my shirt fluttering with it. Wiping trembling hands on my thighs, gripping the denim at the seams, I almost convince myself.
Almost.
Who is this person staring back at me?
Bile rises in my throat, and I swallow thickly, refusing to let it get to me. I will show no weakness. Reminding myself sternly, I jump out of my skin when I see in my reflection that my lips are peeled back and fangs as long as my pinky are displayed in a feral snarl.
“Your name is April!” Squaring my shoulders, I push the words through clenched teeth, the sound of ripping fabric accompanying it.
“God damn it.” Glaring at the shredded jeans thanks to the vicious claws that are my hands now, I blow a breath through pursed lips, deflating like a popped balloon. “Another pair of pants ruined.”
Until a few days ago, I’d owned one pair of pants for as long as I can remember.
Now, I’m going through them like there is no tomorrow because I have no control over my body.
Fangs and claws pop out at random times, scaring the shit out of me.
One day I’ll end up poking my eye out, not that it’ll matter.
It’ll grow back again like I was never injured in the first place.
My hand goes to my neck, tracing the smooth skin that used to be an appalling scar. Now it’s perfectly smooth, like it never existed. Even that they took from me—my reminder that I can survive anything the monsters throw my way.
You are a monster, too. The stupid voice in my head never misses a chance to remind me of that.
Clear skin stretches over my high cheekbones, dark eyebrows arching like they’ve been painted over my long, thick lashes.
My dark brown eyes look almost black now, the pupils barely visible at their center.
Seeing my lips look so cushiony and as naturally red as they are now surprises me.
Staring at the ideal version of myself, I keep blinking, thinking it’ll go back to how I used to be.
It doesn’t. I’m looking like the perfect predator, just like the rest of them. A devil with an angelic face.
“What are you doing?”
With a hiss that pebbles my skin, I jump a few feet further into the large bathroom, ending up in a crouch on all fours.
Marcus is leaning his meaty shoulder on the doorframe, his arms folded across his chest as he watches me like I’ve lost my mind.
To my horror, I hiss at him again, baring my fangs that are throbbing in my mouth.
His eyes flash with a hunger that he hides behind an emotionless mask.
Pushing off the tiles with great effort, I flare my nostrils in hopes of calming down.
His scent fills my lungs, virile male mixed with the lust he is trying to hide.
The monster in me pokes her head out, pushing against the rational part of my brain, wanting to get her hands on him and do hideous things. I will be dead before I let her do it.
“I’m reminding myself that whatever this is”—waving my clawed hand to indicate my person, I lift my chin up— “it’s only temporary.”
My fingers twitch with the urge to slap him so hard it makes me shake. Then his dark eyebrow curls up in an arch. He can be an ass as much as he likes. Whatever happened when they tricked me into becoming just like them didn’t exactly work in their favor. Well, not entirely, anyway.
I might be an insatiable creature with a hunger that scares Sebastian enough to steer clear of me, but that’s only from sunset to sunrise.
When the sun starts coming out, I’m back to my old self, minus the fangs and claws, but beggars can’t be choosers.
As long as I’m human, I’ll take that and wing it.
“Why are you here?” Watching him suspiciously, I don’t dare get any closer. I can feel the sun is more than halfway gone.
“You’ll need to feed.” His words sound almost clinical, but my perception is very keen now, and I see the excitement in him at that idea.
“I won’t feed on you.” Like hell to the no, but I don’t tell him that. I can barely hold control over myself now. I don’t want to think what will happen if my mouth is pressed on his skin.
My mouth waters, images of tangled bodies, silky sheets, and the enticing smell of sex and blood slam my senses, rocking me on my heels. He needs to get the hell out of my sight. Like yesterday.
“Sebastian is still too weak, so if you feed on him, you’ll kill him, little one.” Taking a step inside the luxurious bathroom that is now my life, his hand lifts slightly, as if he will try and shake some sense into my stubborn head.
Tough chance that.
“And I should care about that why exactly?” Inching farther away from him, I keep the distance.
“Everything he did was for the greater good, April. If you stop being so bullheaded, you’ll see that it’s true.” The disappointment in his gaze bothers me, but I remind myself that he is Sebastian’s friend, not mine.
“Greater good for who, you asshole?” I’m more pissed off at myself for getting in this situation than I am at him but whatever. He can deal with it. “I was perfectly fine before you ruined my life!”
“That was a life you had?” His beautiful face twists in anger. “Living like an animal in tunnels and sewers, feeding yourself from dumpsters, and sleeping with rats?”
“Whose fault was that?” Before he can blink, I’m in his face, our noses almost touching. “Who made sure that I had to live like that, huh? Who took my family and my life from me?”
“We gave you a chance to stop them and get revenge. You are barking up the wrong tree.” Pushing his chest to mine, he leaves no space between us. “You stood no chance if we didn’t find you. You would’ve been dead within a year if we hadn’t.”
“It was not for you to make that choice for me.”
I feel the sliding of the fangs in my gums, and I’m powerless to stop it.
They extend, the sharp points nicking my lower lip and flipping the switch in my brain.
April is pushed into a dark corner of my mind, curling up and closing her eyes so she doesn’t witness my depraved actions for the next twelve hours.
I can’t blame her for that. Power surges through my veins, hunger roaring like an inferno in my belly.
And blood smelling like an old wine is right under my flaring nostrils.
Marcus locks his gaze with mine, and I can see fear flickering behind his dark eyes.
My lips curl slowly at that, and my hands shoot out fast, gripping his shoulders when he tries to step away.
When his Adam’s apple bobs up and down, his face is bathed in a red haze in my enhanced vision.
With a wicked smile, I open my mouth and strike like a viper.
“Andrei!”
Marcus roars, and my husky laugh as I gulp down his blood makes his skin pebble with goosebumps. Call for help little mouse, call for help. After that thought, all I know is the taste of his blood.