Chapter 11 #2
Tate nodded. “I walked into the trailer and the first thing I see is Denny shooting up. And there sitting on the floor in front of the TV is this little kid. I asked Denny who he was, but all he said was that it was none of my business.”
Tate’s agonized eyes shifted to me. “I told myself he wasn’t my problem, that I needed to stick to my plan.
” He dropped his eyes to his hands again.
“I left him there, Hawke,” he whispered brokenly.
“Denny was passed out and the kid was asleep on the floor and I just left. I was so fucking selfish-”
“Hey,” I said, grabbing one of Tate’s clenched hands in mine. “You went back,” I said firmly as I linked our fingers together. “You went back. That’s all that matters.”
Tate nodded and used his free hand to swipe away the tears that had formed in his eyes.
“I made it to the end of the driveway before I turned around. I was freaking out that Buck would come home early so I didn’t even wake him up.
I just grabbed him and took him. He…he had this huge bruise on the side of his face and I knew I’d made the right choice. ”
“What happened after that?”
“He didn’t wake up until we were on the bus.
I asked him what his name was, who his mom was, that kind of thing.
But he wouldn’t speak to me…not a word. I finally got him to tell me he was three by asking him to hold up his fingers to show me how old he was.
Once we got to Dallas, I got us a motel room.
He wouldn’t eat or drink anything and he started crying and wouldn’t stop.
I didn’t know what to do so I just started talking to him.
I told him I was scared too. And then I started talking about all the superheroes I used to read about when I was a kid and he finally quieted. ”
“And you gave him your Spiderman doll,” I ventured .
“It was stupid to take the doll when I left, but I’d had it for so long-”
“It’s not stupid, Tate. We hang on to the good things in our life for as long as we can.”
Tate squeezed my hand and gave me a wobbly smile.
I couldn’t stop myself from reaching out to wipe away a lingering tear that slipped down his face.
He stilled at the contact and I was powerless to tear my gaze from his.
Tate was the one to finally break the connection and I felt a tug of pain when he carefully pulled his hand free of mine.
“Matty finally started talking to me a few days after I took him. He told me his name was Matthew, but he didn’t know his last name or his mom’s name.
I kept hoping he’d remember them eventually, but if I even asked him about the day he showed up at my house, he’d shut down.
I thought about going to the police, but I was afraid they’d arrest me for kidnapping,” Tate explained.
I nodded in understanding because my guess was that was exactly what would have happened. “What happened after that?”
“I managed to find a job with a guy who landscaped yards. It wasn’t an actual company or anything, just his personal business, so he let me bring Matty with me on jobs in the beginning until I found him daycare and he paid me under the table.
I started looking for an apartment, but since I needed money for the security deposit and first month’s rent, I needed to get to my savings account.
They didn’t have any of my bank’s branches in the Dallas area so I opened a new account and submitted a request to transfer the money.
It…it never occurred to me…” Tate said quietly before his voice dropped off completely.
“What?”
“Matty and I were on our way back to our motel and I saw them.”
“Buck and Denny?” I asked solemnly.
Tate nodded. “They were standing outside our room and the door was open. They were talking to a maid. I picked up Matty and ran. I’d made a habit of carrying a change of clothes for Matty and myself back and forth to work and Matty never went anywhere without his doll and his teddy bear so that was all we had. ”
“You think someone at your bank in Lulling told Buck where you were?”
“I don’t have proof, but I think it was my ex, Reggie. He was a teller at that bank.”
“Did you get the money at least?”
Tate shook his head. “I was too afraid that they’d be able to track me, even if I just checked to see if the money had been transferred.
I had enough on me to get me and Matty to El Paso, but we only stayed there for a few weeks…
long enough for me to earn enough money doing odd jobs.
Then we moved again. Albuquerque, Denver, Salt Lake City…
once we reached San Francisco, I knew I had to take a chance and settle down long enough for Matty to have some normalcy in his life. ”
Tate looked at me, his eyes shrouded with uncertainty. “I didn’t know what the fuck I was doing, Hawke. What if the running, the hiding, are all Matty remembers?”
I wanted to reach for Tate again…badly. But I kept my hands clasped together in front of me as I pinned him with my gaze.
“Matty’s an incredible kid, Tate. He’s happy, sweet, funny, kind-hearted…
that doesn’t just happen. He’s like that because of you – because of everything you did for him.
The only thing he’s going to remember from all this is how amazing his Dad is. ”
A small smile graced Tate’s mouth and I desperately wanted to lean in and kiss him.
I had no doubt that he would have let me.
I suspected Tate knew my train of thought because he sucked in a breath and stared at my mouth.
I nearly groaned when he parted his lips and his tongue darted out to moisten them.
God, how I’d loved kissing him last night.
“We should get going,” Tate murmured and then he was dragging his eyes away. He climbed off the picnic table and cast a glance over his shoulder at me. I climbed to my feet, but as he began walking towards the car, I reached out to grab his arm.
“You mind driving for a bit?” I asked as I fished the car keys out of my pocket and held them out .
He studied me for a long moment and then nodded.
I gave him the keys and followed him back to the truck.
My eyes grew heavy as Tate got us back on the road and even though I tried to focus on the scenery flying by, I couldn’t stop myself from turning my head to watch Tate.
He glanced at me and shot me a sweet smile and my last thought before my eyes drifted shut was how right it felt to have him looking at me like that.