31. Chapter Thirty-One
Chapter Thirty-One
I stare at Finn’s unconscious body. No one would know if I left him out here. Ian was supposed to have searched the grounds. He’ll bleed out. There’s already so much blood.
“Kim?” Lorcan’s voice travels across the field, and when I scan behind me, he’s silhouetted against the double doors.
Thoughts flick through my brain, almost too brief to catch. He’ll see me walk away. If Finn killed their father, I could get away with leaving him to die. We don’t know for sure. Could Lorcan forgive me? Would he understand?
Time’s up. Make a choice.
“Lorcan!” I scream. “Lorcan!”
He breaks into a run, and I drop to my knees beside Finn. Cradling his head in my lap reminds me of my brother and makes it impossible for me to do anything but sit there, staring at the blood leaking out of him and across the flagstones.
Once Lorcan reaches my side, there’s a flurry of activity as he struggles to staunch the bleeding while calling an ambulance and then a cleaning crew to collect and dispose of the other bodies. I want to tell him Antonio has kids and an ex-wife, and he needs a proper burial, but the words are stuck in my throat. I can’t stop staring at my hands covered in Finn’s blood. So much blood.
“Kim? Are you hurt?” Lorcan’s voice sounds like it’s underwater. “Kim, my love, you’re in shock.”
He grabs a first aid kit from the shed, and as he tries to patch up Finn, he yells at Sean and Ian to get the other bodies in the house, lock everything up; keep suspicion and the cops out. “Kim? Are you hurt? Do you know what happened?”
I shake my head.
It’s forever and only moments before the ambulance drives onto the lawn, arriving beside the shed. How did they get back here? I don’t ask; I can’t ask. Every time I look down, I don’t see Finn, I see Chad, and I can’t figure out how to make it stop.
Lorcan lifts me into his arms, and we trail the paramedics to the ambulance. As they put Finn in, I wonder if this is the last time I’m safe. He knows. An extraction, now, while I still can, is the best idea. Then he shifts me in his arms, and his distinctive scent settles around me. Can I walk away? Am I capable of that anymore?
In the car, he drives while I sit lost in thought in the passenger seat.
He taps his fingers on the steering wheel as he works out what happened. “Someone we rounded up was valuable. To who? And why?”
“Maybe the same someone who did in your father.” My words are sluggish, pushed out for no reason other than habit.
“It’s the same level of organization, that’s true…” He examines me before focusing on the road. “You okay?”
“I don’t understand what’s wrong with me.” Except, I do. I’m trapped. Unwilling to give up, not even sure what I’m fighting for anymore.
“We all have our weaknesses.” His hands clench and release around the leather-encased steering wheel. “Even Finn.”
“Oh yeah? What’s his?”
“A certain blonde arms dealer.”
“Carys?” It shouldn’t be surprising. Maybe it’s not. The way his voice dipped as he told her how he killed for her reverberates in my mind.
“Aye.”
At that, my brain clicks in and ticks through the sequence of events so far, everything that’s led to this point. “When you invited us to the house and had Finn answer, it wasn’t about the arms deal, was it?”
His lips quirk up, and he peers at me. “Seeing her at the benefit after all those years was a nice surprise. I’d been wondering how to nudge him. Let him realize he didn’t hold all the cards.”
“You were showing him you could lure Carys into this war.”
“I was.”
“The second time you invited her because of me, it wasn’t for me.”
“Well, that’s not completely true. I wanted you to be happy. The fact her presence served a dual purpose wasn’t so bad.”
“You wove her into your business through the Byrne brothers.”
“Not directly connected, no. Connected enough he knows she trusts me.”
“What about me? Why me?”
“You reminded me of a younger Carys at the fundraiser. So cool and collected with this hint of danger.” He winks at me. “I thought you’d be irresistible to him.” His gaze rakes over me. “Turns out you were irresistible to me.”
Warmth spreads through me. I press my back into the seat and look down at my hands. Chad’s blood is gone, and what’s left in its place is Finn’s. “Did he ever say anything to you about Carys?”
“No. He’d never want me to know for sure. But there was something about the way he was with her. And then, again, at the door talking to Thomas about what happened in Ireland.”
“You understand Finn well.”
“Spent a lot of years studying him, wanting to be like him.”
“You wanted to be like Finn?”
“He’s my older brother.” Lorcan frowns. “I don’t have the stomach for it, though. I can do the hard things if they must be done. I don’t get pleasure from it, and it’s easier to do those things if my heart is in it. It needs to feel justified.”
An image of Lorcan, standing above Malik, fists clenched, surfaces.
I blink, forcing the memory out. “You’re taking what’s happened to your brother better than I might have expected.”
He glances at me and then rubs my leg. “That’s the life we lead, isn’t it? We’re a single mistake away from death.”
If he survives this, my mistake will be letting him live, not putting that final bullet in him. What was it Finn said once? Mercy will get you killed.
When we get to the hospital, there’s a petite blond woman waiting to take us to a private room to wait for news about Finn. We’re no sooner seated across the room from each other and the door closed when I turn, my curiosity piqued. “How are you getting the red-carpet treatment?”
“You mean because I’m a lowly mobster?”
I purse my lips. “That’s not what I said. But—” I shrug. “Might not be far off from what I meant.”
He chuckles and flexes his hands as he puts his elbows on his knees. “My mum.”
I raise my eyebrows.
“When she was dying, she was here at the last. She didn’t want to die at home.” He tilts back in the chair and focuses on the ceiling. “Didn’t want the place tainted with death. My father thought the facilities here were barbaric. He donated a lot of money.” He focuses on me. “Now, I think it was probably inhumane watching my mum die. That’s how it felt to me. Like we could’ve done better somehow.”
The grief still so raw on his face stirs my losses to the surface. Without letting myself think too much, I cross the room and crouch, hugging him tight.
His voice is gruff in my ear as he says, “Where’ve you been all my life?” His arms circle me, tugging me onto his lap.
There’s a muted knock on the door.
“Come in.” He tightens his grip, preventing me from moving away again.
It’s the same woman. Her gaze bores into us before she clears her throat. I don’t like the way she lingers on Lorcan. “They’re doing a full assessment. I’ll come back when I have more information.”
“Thanks, Fiona.” His hand squeezes my waist as Fiona ducks back out of the room.
“She comes in here to brief you?”
“We pay her salary.”
I stare at Lorcan and run my thumb over his dimple. “How?”
“Not every deal is shady. We have some legitimate interests. We use that to pay for Fiona’s services and other things that sometimes come in handy.”
“She’s like your own private nurse.”
One side of Lorcan’s lips quirk up. “More of an attendant. She helps with the police too.” His mouth twists in amusement. “Your line of questioning is rather curious.”
“The way she looked at you was rather curious.”
“I’m an attractive man.”
I laugh, and he grins. “Ah, there’s my prize.”
“Your brand of cockiness is sometimes a little endearing.”
“Only a little? I like the word ‘big’ used in reference to me.”
“Then I guess you’d better up your game so I can use it.”
He laughs, and the light in his eyes when he gazes at me almost makes me forget I’m hoping Finn doesn’t last through the night. If he dies, though, the only person left to take down is Lorcan. Do I have it in me?
“What are you thinking about?” His face clouds, and his fingertips brush my cheek.
“Whether Finn’s going to make it. There was so much blood.”
“We’re a match. I’ll give him some of mine if they need it. Wouldn’t be the first time.”
“You’re not worried?”
“Worry doesn’t change the outcome, just makes the wait harder.”
While true, I can’t believe he’s this calm. The thud of his brother’s head bouncing off the flagstones lingers with me, replaying over and over below the noise of everything else.
Was it enough?