32. Chapter Thirty-Two
Chapter Thirty-Two
W e’re knee deep in the second game of Settlers of Catan as we wait for news. Lorcan remembered the game was hidden in a cupboard from a previous wait. When I asked, he grew quiet and said he and his father used to play it, then later Antonio agreed to take part while waiting for news during some other close calls. The idea of him playing this game with Lorcan is both endearing and heartbreaking. It’s tough to imagine he was any good at it, but it feels wrong to think it now that he’s dead.
Still, I’m grateful for the distraction from Finn’s condition and Malik’s extraction. I’m trying to take Lorcan’s strategy to heart. The outcome won’t change for either man with my worry alone.
When I glance up from the board, Lorcan is watching me.
“Want some help?” He smirks, the familiar glint of amusement dancing in his eyes.
“I think I can manage.”
“’Cause you have options.”
“I see them.” I tip my head at the board, fingering a card in my hand.
“I wouldn’t want you to lose again.”
“Don’t worry. It won’t become a habit. I like winning.”
His face is lit with mischief. “As do I.”
There’s a brisk tap on the door, and Fiona enters with a doctor. As he approaches the table, we get to our feet. With a sigh, the doctor rubs his eyes.
“We’re pretty sure he’ll pull through,” he says. “Multiple stab wounds, a head injury, a lot of blood loss.”
“Stab wounds?” I’m not sure what I expected. Bullet wounds, maybe? It’s implausible Finn would let anyone be close enough to knife him without doing damage himself.
“Only major injury from those was a collapsed lung. Except for the blood loss. He must have been unconscious for a while.”
It wasn’t the unconscious part that caused the blood loss; it was the staggering around like an idiot that did it. Lorcan and I haven’t discussed how I found him.
He takes my hand and squeezes it. “When can we see him?”
“As soon as he’s awake, I’ll have Fiona come escort you.” The doctor hesitates at the door, Fiona at his shoulder. “The head injury is still under assessment. We suspect a measure of memory loss. We don’t know how much or for how long that’ll last.”
My heart kicks in my chest, and a spark of hope strikes in me. “How certain are you about the memory loss?” I glance at Lorcan. “It would be helpful if we knew who did this.” But so much more helpful if Finn never knew.
The doctor purses his lips. “It’s not uncommon with an injury like his. Difficult to say until he wakes up. We’ll run more tests at that point.”
No sooner have they left then there’s another knock on the door, and she pops her head back in. “One of your men is here?”
“Let him in.” Lorcan waves his hand.
Sean slips in, appearing harried and exhausted. Lack of sleep for all of us is taking its toll.
“What do you have for me?”
“We’re still not sure. Maybe the Russians? There’re the only ones we think have the manpower to pull this off. The only other thing that’s kinda troubling is well, um, a helicopter might have landed? Does that make sense to you?”
Lorcan looks at his feet for a brief moment and then stares at Sean. “Might have landed? We’re not in the land of might here, we’re in the land of surety.”
“It’s the pattern on the ground.” Sean raises his hands. “I don’t know. We tried to google the pictures we took. Our best guess is a helicopter landed.”
Lorcan nods, and my gut twists. I wanted Malik out, but a helicopter landing on their property isn’t an easy thing to explain. And the fact we didn’t hear it means the FBI used a stealth chopper. Impossible to ignore.
“After I’ve seen my brother, I’ll come home and look myself. We can’t chase down what we don’t know for sure.”
With a nod, Sean ducks out the door, and both of us stare at the game. I sink into my chair and gather the game pieces. My fingers toy with my cards. I should be thinking about whose turn it is, but all I can focus on is the inexplicable helicopter. It’s a massive complication.
“Was he unconscious when you found him?” Lorcan hasn’t sat down.
My heart booms, and my brain ticks through what to say. Whether Finn remembers could sink me based on which version of events I tell. “Yes.”
“Does this helicopter business make sense to you?”
I shake my head and stay focused on the game board between us. When I look up, I’m confident I’ve shuttered my emotions. “Who has those sorts of resources? Not the Zhangs, not the O’Malleys, not the Browns, or the Simmons. Would the Byrne brothers interfere?” The names I’m rattling off are impossible culprits even without my inside information. None of them have the funds.
Lorcan puts his hands on his hips and rubs his lips together. My fingers itch to smooth the crease across his brow. “There are two legitimate options I can come up with and both spell trouble.”
“And those would be?” I toss my cards onto the table and rise so we’re almost eye to eye.
“I’d rather not say.”
“I can’t help you if you don’t share your logic.”
“I’m not asking for your help with this.”
I straighten, not even having to feign offense. It’s genuine.
Lorcan stares at me and then away, his hands still on his hips. “It’s not whether you’re capable of helping or trust or… any of that. I don’t want you dragged into either scenario.”
“I’m here, with you. I’m in it already.”
He shakes his head. “You’re not. You’re really not. I’ve been careful about what you’ve seen, the things you’ve been party to.”
“Because you don’t trust me.”
“Because I swept you away from Carys to do one thing. One thing. Find out who killed my father. I didn’t do it so you could wind up in jail or dead.” His voice booms out in a sudden burst, his hand making a sweeping motion.
“Both are still likely. Finn’s already arranged my near-murder once. Keeping whatever you think from me does nothing except drive a wedge between us.”
When he doesn’t say anything in response, I throw up my hands, a noise of frustration escaping as I head to the door. Before I get there, he catches me around the waist and backs me up against the wall. His forehead presses into mine, and our gazes lock. We breathe in sync before his lips descend. I wrap my arms around him, meeting his kiss, wishing things could be simpler between us.
One of his arms is braced against the wall while the other circles my waist, tugging me closer. Once we break apart, we stare at each other again.
“Why won’t you let me help?”
“Because I feel like I’m being ripped in half. Part of me is consumed with figuring this out, what happened, and why. The other half is absolutely desperate to keep you safe. I can’t—I don’t know how to do both and let you help.”
“The best way to keep me safe is to keep me informed. If I understand the risks and dangers, I understand when I need to watch my back.”
“I want you to do something for me.”
I stare at him, not sure I want to agree outright without knowing what it is.
“Once Finn’s awake, I’ll see if he recalls anything. Then, I’m going to the house to check the marks. If it’s a helicopter, I’m chasing the two leads. You understand me?” He slants his head to maintain my attention when I turn my face from him.
“You’re not going to tell me.”
“I want you to keep an eye on Finn, keep things moving at the house while I’m doing what I need to do to figure this out.”
“Well, if you haven’t told me your various shady dealings, how can I possibly keep things running?” My tone is mockingly sweet.
“My office. I’ll give you the code.”
My gaze flies to his. I would’ve given almost anything for that number months ago. Now, the notion of having a large chunk of unsupervised time sends a chill through me. My job dictates I take advantage, but my heart isn’t in it anymore.
“Are you sure?”
“You don’t think I trust you? You can have the keys to the throne.” His lips graze my forehead. “Course, if there are no marks in the field, the offer of the code is rescinded.”
“Seems fair.” I smirk. My stomach is a stormy sea filled with the knowledge as he keeps me afloat, I’ll be sinking him.
Our lightheartedness evaporates when our gazes reconnect. “I’ve put something in motion.” He searches my face. “I’m not sure I can stop it now. If this raid is what I think it is.”
I know it’s not what he thinks, whatever that is. His cryptic comment doesn’t help the unease spreading through me. What has he done? What is he going to do?
“Are you okay?” A different sort of fear grips me, one I haven’t felt since my family disintegrated. I shouldn’t be feeling this way about him, about anyone. It’s dangerous.
He brushes his lips across mine. “Only time will tell.”
There’s a sharp knock at the door, and Fiona’s voice follows. “Lorcan? Finn’s awake.”
He pulls away from me, but he’s laser focused on the connection between us. I glide my hands along his arm until I can link my fingers with his.
“Be there in a tic,” he calls to Fiona. He’s memorizing my face, searching for something I can’t give him.
“I’m coming with you to see Finn.” It’s a bad idea. Might be the worst idea I’ve had, and so far, I’m setting new records in that category. There’s a sadness, a desperation in him that wasn’t there before Sean arrived. The helicopter has him rattled.
“You wait outside the room with the guys till I’ve had a chance to talk to Finn alone. Then, you can come in. I wanna see if he remembers anything.”
Me too. Me too.
With his free hand, he opens the door and nods to the guards as we wander down to Finn’s hospital room. Lorcan lifts our joined hands and kisses my palm before letting our hands fall again.
This is the moment of reckoning. Staying with him through this will either be the smartest thing I’ve ever done or the dumbest.