37. Chapter Thirty-Seven
Chapter Thirty-Seven
I ’m not sure where Lorcan is as I wander back and forth between his side of the house and Finn’s suite of rooms. The décor on this side is depressing with its dark woods and walls of varying shades of black or red. Where Lorcan’s side is brighter, at least inside the rooms, Finn’s wing is claustrophobic.
Sean raps on the door as I slot the last piece of my clothing into a drawer. Part of me is tempted to keep my bags packed. If Finn remembers, I’ll be fleeing from here. If he never remembers, he’ll notice at some point I didn’t unpack, and it’ll raise his suspicion. In the end, I’m probably better to abandon everything, anyway. I’ll be starting over somewhere else.
I glance up. The men realize what’s been going on with me and Lorcan, so I half expect a slew of questions.
“You here now?” Sean’s brow is furrowed.
“I am.”
“Lorcan know?”
“No.”
“You want him to know?”
I shrug. “Does it matter? He’ll figure it out soon enough.”
He gives a curt nod. “I wasn’t sure if this was some sort of power play or if he fired you.”
“He fired me.”
“I wondered if he would.”
I narrow my eyes. “You wondered if he’d fire me?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay.” As the final drawer shuts, I take a deep breath. I hope I’m doing the right thing. Probably not. I let the silence stretch between me and him, willing him to leave without me having to tell him to go.
“Lorcan’s not like Finn. He cares about people.”
“You think he fired me because he cares about me.”
“Yeah.” He shuffles his feet in the doorway. “Why didn’t you go? Things are nuts right now.”
I catch his gaze in the mirror above the dresser. “I don’t like leaving things unresolved.” Turning on my heel, I face Sean. “Has anyone been to see Antonio’s ex-wife?”
He shakes his head. “Not as far as I know. She wouldn’t want to see any of us, anyway.”
“She needs to be told.”
“Lorcan will send her a check and a note.”
I purse my lips. “His kids. With everything going on, who knows when he’ll remember to speak to her. Antonio’s kids. They need to be told. His ex-wife should know.”
Taking out his phone, Sean glances up at me. “Want me to get Lorcan on it?”
“Will he go see her?”
“No. Last time he went, she told him never to come back. ’Course, he was trying to talk her into sticking it out with her husband. Probably, she felt intimidated. Lorcan’s a big guy. I was there too. Antonio was pretty upset about the divorce.”
I frown, thinking of when my father died. It was so hard. I couldn’t imagine not getting that message face-to-face. “We’ll do it. You have her address? I’ll tell her. Something should be said in person.”
He hesitates. “I don’t mean no disrespect. But should you be going around Lorcan and Finn like this?”
“Finn said I was in charge. This is what we’re doing.”
With a nod, Sean backs out of the doorway. “I’ll meet you in the car.”
The house is a modest bungalow on a quiet residential street. It’s not what I would have expected, given Antonio’s earnings working for the brothers.
“You want me to come with you?” Sean jiggles the keys in his hand.
I laugh. “No. Definitely not.”
“All right. I’ll wait out here.”
Steeling myself, I open the passenger door and head up the pathway lined with summer flowers. It’s a well-maintained brick house, and I picture Antonio walking this same path, excited to see his kids, to spend time with them. Tears prick at the back of my eyes, and I suck in a deep breath. Showing up with a tear-stained face will send the wrong message to Antonio’s ex-wife. This is a business call. It’s not personal.
I ring the doorbell. It reverberates throughout the house, the pleasant tone spilling out through the front door.
When the door opens, a curvy Latina woman narrows her brown eyes at me. “Who are you?”
“My name is Kim.” I try for a kind smile. “I work for the Donaghey brothers.”
“What, they hiring prostitutes to make house calls?” She skims her gaze over me. “Antonio’s not here. He doesn’t live here.”
“I’m here to talk to you about Antonio, actually.” Somehow, I manage to keep my voice even. Josafina’s assumption I’m a prostitute when I’m dressed in leggings, a leather jacket, and a fitted T-shirt seems ludicrous.
“The Donagheys are hiring women now? What do you do?”
“A little of everything. Can I come in?”
She blocks the door with her body. “Like a secretary or a wife or something?”
“Or something.” I burrow both hands into my coat pockets and stare at her.
“I don’t want nothing to do with that family. It’s why me and Antonio split.”
“Can I please come in? I promise I’m not here to cause trouble. I need to speak to you about Antonio.”
Reluctantly, Josafina lets me in. There’s a small foyer which opens into a modest living room.
“What’s he done? He owes someone money? ’Cause I got two kids to feed, a mortgage to pay, car maintenance. I can’t afford to give up any of my money.”
“You might want to sit down.”
She sinks into the nearest armchair. “This ain’t about money.”
“It’s not.”
Josafina’s face falls, and tears fill her eyes. “He’s dead, ain’t he? Oh, God. He’s dead.”
“There was an incident at the house. He was caught in the crossfire.”
“Did Finn kill him?”
My immediate instinct is to deny it, but instead, I wander to the couch and sink into it. “He didn’t. Why would you think he was involved?”
“He’s a hothead with no respect for life. The stories… When we got together, I loved that he worked for them. Wherever we went, people were afraid of that family. It was an automatic respect, you know? Mr. Donaghey, his sons, mostly Finn, though. They had this policy. Kill ’em all.”
“That scared you?”
“Not at first. I was young and dumb. Married Antonio ’cause I loved him. Then we had our first kid and a second kid. He got deeper in the organization. He got shot. Not real serious. But it was enough to make me ask him to leave. He said people didn’t leave the organization. They were eliminated.”
“Death or jail.”
“Yeah, exactly. Antonio said Mr. Donaghey and Finn were hardliners. They’d kill him if he tried to leave. He said he thought Lorcan might let him go. Maybe. Then I heard stories about him. His hands were far from clean. Finn has a way of talking people into doing things they wouldn’t normally do. Gets under their skin. When Antonio came home one night, and I woke up to him weeping, I couldn’t take it anymore. I told him I was done.”
It takes a moment for me to follow her story. “You left him because he was crying?”
“I left him ’cause he said Finn made him kill some kid. A kid. Their fucking family policy says no loose ends.” Tears stream down her face. “I didn’t want my kids to end up being loose ends. Can you imagine? I love my kids. I love my kids so much. The idea I signed them up for that.” She shakes her head. “I—it’s—he’s dead, and my heart hurts. A part of me is kinda relieved. I don’t gotta worry about them being loose ends if Antonio screws up.”
A chill goes through me. My mind strays back to the note in my father’s file.
“How long have you been working for them?” She doesn’t meet my gaze as she rubs her hands along her cheeks.
“A few months.”
“So you know.”
“Know what?”
“That no one makes it out alive, anyway. But we did. We’ll be okay now.” Her voice is thick. When she lifts her hand to tuck her long dark-brown hair behind her ear, it shakes. “I have to figure out how to tell my kids.” Her voice catches. “He was a good dad.” More stray tears streak down her face. “He was a really good dad.”
“I’m so sorry. I know that’s not helpful. But I am. I liked him.” It’s not exactly true, but it’s not a lie, either. He certainly had a side I came to like.
She grabs a tissue from the box near the couch. “That’s nice of you to say. I appreciate you coming. I don’t know if it was Lorcan’s idea to send you or what, but I’m glad it wasn’t a letter and some money like he promised. I’m glad someone came.”
“Do you need me to call anyone to be with you?”
She runs a hand over her hair. “No, I’ll be okay. I gotta get myself together before the kids come home from school.” Her voice catches again. “It just makes me sad, you know? We had our problems, but he didn’t deserve this. My kids don’t deserve this.”
People like Antonio bring kids into this life. Could I do it? Would I even want to? It seemed both brave and foolish. My parents loved Chad and I more than anything. I felt it every time they looked at us, spoke to us, touched us. How do people bring children into the world only to put them in danger? Carys never had any kids. She said she couldn’t imagine fearing for anyone more than she feared for herself. Kids were a liability. A weakness.
“It’s not a life for everyone.”
“You got that right. I’m gonna do whatever I can to make sure neither of my kids ever follow their father.” She squeezes my hand. “I hope you get out.”
“You don’t need to worry about me,” I say with a small smile. “I know how to take care of myself.”
As I walk back down the path and get into the car beside Sean, I wonder whether it was Finn, his father, or Lorcan who decimated half my family. My heart wants it to be Finn or his father, but my head heard what she said about Finn convincing people to do terrible things. Lorcan killed once for his brother; who’s to say he didn’t do it two other times as well.
When the car glides to a stop outside the front door, Sean nods for me to get out. “I’ll go repark it.”
“Thanks.” My thoughts are lingering with Antonio’s kids. They’re so young.
“I think you did the right thing. Going there.”
“I know I did.” I open the door and pause with one foot on the ground. “But thanks for saying that.” Climbing out, I wander in the front entrance and nod to Ian on my way past. My mind is still mulling over everything she said, everything I learned about the organization, and I’m not paying attention to where I’m going. On instinct, I turn down my old wing.
“Kim?”
His voice, tinged with anger and disbelief, stops me in my tracks. Something in his lilt undoes me. I push my hands deeper into my pockets and straighten my shoulders. Going this way was a mistake. My heart races in anticipation.
“Lorcan.”
“What are you still doing here? I fired you. It might be a new concept to you, but it means you’re no longer welcome.” Anger spews out of him, but he’s using my favorite version of his accent, as though he knows how to seduce me even at this distance.
“It’s true. You fired me. When I told Finn, he declared me a free agent.” I take my hands out of my pockets and spread them wide before shrugging. “He rehired me for himself.”