43. Chapter Forty-Three
Chapter Forty-Three
L orcan stares at me for a moment. “You went to see Semyon.”
“I did.”
He closes his eyes and bangs his fist on the counter. With a swipe of his hand, the glass beside him flies against the wall. His stormy gaze lands on me. “He could have killed you. You shouldn’t have gone, and you certainly shouldn’t have gone alone.”
“I’ve been working for the FBI for quite a few years. You think this is the first time I’ve gone into a dangerous situation? Coming here, working for you and Finn is as dangerous as what I did today.” I examine his tense, coiled rage. “If you love me, you have to love all of me. This is who I am. This is what I do.”
“And if you gave a shit about how I felt, you wouldn’t be lying to me still.”
“I—I knew you wouldn’t want me to go. That you’d either come with me or stop me from going. I wouldn’t have been able to get the information.”
“He came out and told you? Denied me the other day but spilled it to you.”
“No,” I say evenly. “His son Hagen couldn’t resist rubbing his knowledge in my face. Guys like him love having little nuggets of truth to lord over others.” I cross my arms. “He said Finn figured I’d be knocking on his door at some point.”
Lorcan presses his hands into the counter and doesn’t look at me.
“He said, and I quote, ‘I’ll have to let Finn know the jig is up.’”
“I saw him this morning. He was complaining of headaches and bad dreams.” Lorcan focuses on me. “What happened out by the shed that night?”
For a moment, I consider lying. Protecting myself is so ingrained, even though I understand I can trust him, my instinct is to hold back.
“I found Finn leaning against the shed, already injured. It’s true. The FBI planted an agent in Zhang’s organization. It’s also true you rounded him up. Finn saw the helicopter, heard the agent call my name. He was already suspicious of me. Then he added the pieces together.”
“I knew he was suspicious of you.”
“You weren’t?”
“I didn’t want to be. ’Cause if I let suspicion take hold, there was only one thing to be done.” He straightens and props his hip against the counter, crossing his arms.
I let my gaze travel over his features. At every crossroads, whether or not it’s been a conscious decision, he’s chosen me. So many things in my life have come to an awful end. What we have between us can’t go that way. I won’t let it.
“If he remembers…”
“He’ll realize I’m FBI.”
“I want you to stay in here for the rest of the day.”
I open my mouth to protest, and Lorcan holds up a hand. “Whenever that moment comes, he’s going to want to kill you. His sense of self-perseveration is stronger than any other instinct. He’ll take you out right in front of me and apologize after. There’s no mercy, no consideration for my feelings or your life.”
I swallow.
“I need to talk to some people, make it seem as though business is carrying on as normal. Do you have an FBI contact?”
I nod. “Dai Qing.”
He runs both his hands through his hair, frustration spilling out of him. “Am I really going to do this?”
“If he wasn’t your brother, I’d kill him myself. My whole family, Lorcan… one way or another, they’re gone because of him and your dad.” I move between his legs, resting my hands on his hips. He gathers me tight with a sigh. “The reality is once Finn realizes we know about your dad, once he remembers I’m the rat, he’ll take action. If we wait, we might end up dead.”
Lorcan’s lips graze the top of my head. “I get what he’s done to you and your family. I understand why you’d want him dead. I would, too, if I was you. But for years, he’s been the guy I wanted to be like, the man I wished I could somehow become.”
The thought of him turning into Finn terrifies me. I press my palm into his chest, over his heart. “I’m glad you’re not him. I’m glad you’re a little softer, a little kinder, and a little more human.” Our gazes connect, and I say, “I love you, Lorcan.”
He sucks in a sharp breath and draws me tighter. “I wasn’t sure you’d ever say it.”
And then, because it feels as though the weight on my shoulders has eased, I say it again. “I love you.”
“ My a chroi .” His lips find mine, brushing against them and then deepening the kiss as he turns us around. Without breaking contact with me, he lifts me onto the counter. “I’m going to keep you safe,” he murmurs against my lips. “I’ll do anything to keep you safe.”
To the soundtrack of moans and sighs, he proceeds to show me how loved I am.
The text comes in the middle of the night. My phone buzzes from beside the bed, and I snatch it off the nightstand. Lorcan shifts, and I hold my breath, hoping he doesn’t wake. When I’m sure he’s settled again, I glance at the display.
Warehouse by the water in one hour .
Finn.
My heart dips, threatening to fall to my feet. I stare at Lorcan’s sleeping form as I clutch the phone to my chest, muting the bright light of the home screen. He looks peaceful and strong, and like all the things I never knew I wanted but can’t imagine not having now. I ache to trace his features I love so much. It would wake him up, and I don’t want that. It’s the last thing I want.
These few months, Finn’s asked me to do any number of odd things. But he’s asked in person. Whether he realizes it or not, this lone text message tells me more than him coming here and beating down the door. I could ignore the message, pretend I slept through it. That only delays the inevitable.
I ease myself out of bed and get dressed. I cast a last look at Lorcan. If I make it out of this, he’ll be pissed at me for not waking him up. There are a lot of things I’ll sacrifice for my job, but not him. The idea of him being hurt or killed by his own brother or someone in his organization because of me is unacceptable. I love him. I won’t lose him too. This time, I’m going to save him.
At the walk-in closet, I key in the code he used the night of the extraction. Everything had been so chaotic he hadn’t tried to hide the numbers from me. Glancing at the bed, I gather as much ammunition and as many weapons as it makes sense to carry. There’s a lock-picking set nestled in amongst the ammo, and I grab it. Never know.
I’m not sure what to expect from Finn. He’s cocky enough to keep the meeting between the two of us and have us go head-to-head, but he’s also smart enough to never underestimate people. I select one more gun and tuck it into my waistband before sliding into my jacket and striding to the door.
Once it clicks shut behind me, I head for the entryway. I send a brief text to the emergency extraction number and to Dai Qing. Things can’t continue like this. It ends tonight.
Sean rises from his chair beside the door as I approach. Finn doesn’t have him, but there are at least a dozen men who could be at the warehouse with him.
He checks his watch and frowns. “Going out?”
“Warehouse.” I watch Sean’s reaction. What does he know?
His frown deepens. “Finn took five or six men there a couple hours ago.” He searches my face as I get closer. “Lorcan isn’t going?”
So he didn’t go alone. “How did he seem?”
“Pissed off.” He shrugs. “That’s normal for him lately. He’s constantly mad about something. Mostly that he can’t remember.”
I nod and move to go past Sean and out the door.
“And Lorcan?” he asks.
Instead of turning around, I keep my back to him. “He doesn’t need him for this.” I disappear out the entryway and into the dark of the early-morning hours.
It’s an easy drive to the warehouse. I’ve got time to spare, and the FBI is on the way. There’s no point in going in early. Dawn is a cloak, and I park the car a few blocks away from the warehouse. A cluster of trees across the street keeps me hidden well enough to watch for any traffic coming and going from the building. To pass the time, I take out a few of my weapons and double-check they’re ready to fire and easy to access in a hurry. I yank my hair out of its ponytail and then do it again but tighter. The last thing I need is hair in my face while I’m trying to take a shot.
I’m checking my watch again when a black SUV comes tearing around the street corner and whirls into the parking lot as close to the door as possible. Hopefully, whoever it is doesn’t keep the vehicle there. It’ll make it difficult for the agents to access the entrance. I step into the shadows until the driver’s door swings open and familiar jean-clad legs and a brown-blond head emerge.
Shit.
My heart kicks up a notch as Lorcan exits the SUV and rounds the hood, pulling out one of his guns. I leave the safety of my spot, and I’m about to call out to him when the door to the warehouse blows open and a hand yanks him into the building.
A noise of distress catches in the back of my throat. I take out a gun from inside my coat and circle the building to a rear entrance. Finn has Lorcan.
At the door, I wiggle the handle. It’s locked. Taking out my lock-pick set, I slide the pieces into place and listen to the lock tumble open. Easing down on the handle, I slip inside, gun drawn.
“Where the fuck is she, Finn?” Lorcan’s voice booms through the empty warehouse.
Sean said Finn took five or six men. They could be anywhere in here. My senses are on high alert.
“For the second fucking time, she’s not here. You’re a paranoid fuck.” Finn’s voice bounces around, his annoyance clear. “Go home, little brother. This meeting’s got nothing to do with you.”
“Who are you meeting?”
“People.”
“Bullshit. Where’s the table? This isn’t a meeting, it’s an execution.”
There’s a brief pause, and I move along the hallway, trying to get closer to the open space beyond the block of offices without getting caught. Goose bumps rise on my arms at the silence between the two men. Something Lorcan said has got Finn thinking. That can’t be good.
“Why the fuck would I execute Kimi?” There’s a shuffling of feet.
Kimi. He knows. He knows something.
Lorcan’s sigh is loud with frustration.
I need to get eyes on him, on this, before things go sour. He’s tired of the lies. Confronting Finn when he’s outnumbered six to one isn’t smart. I pray Lorcan can keep his emotions in check. He can’t admit to him he knows who I am, what I am, or else he’ll be signing his own death warrant.
“Come on, deartháir beag . Tell me why I’d want to kill Kimi.” Finn’s voice is low and menacing.
There’s not a doubt in my mind he realizes the truth. Now he’s trying to figure out how deep the betrayal goes.
I check my watch. It’s too early for the FBI to be here. But I can’t let Lorcan sink himself.
Removing one of my guns and emerging out from the safety of my spot, I focus on Finn. “I have proof you killed your father.”
He whirls on me, gun drawn. A dark chuckle escapes him. “What? No front door? You knew you were in trouble.” He gestures above him with his free hand where a couple of men are stationed with guns trained on us.
Two men appear on either side of me and reach for my weapons. I tamp down my urge to fight them. Instead, I give in. One of them secures me with my arms behind my back. It doesn’t matter. I can’t watch Lorcan get shot, and if we descend into chaos, there’s a good chance he’ll get hurt.
Lorcan’s nostrils flare. Fury licks at every part of him when his gaze connects with mine.
“I thought there was a chance Hagen would call you, yeah.” I shrug. “The jig is up.”
Finn’s vision sweeps over me, and then he glances at Lorcan. “Something else came to me tonight. FB-fucking-I, Kimi. Ring any bells? ’Cause, I gotta tell you, it was like a fucking chorus of bells in my head this morning.”
Whatever he’s remembered, it’s still not quite clear, or I’m pretty sure I’d be dead by now, whether or not Lorcan stands in his way. The men behind me tighten their grip.
“They landed on the property,” I admit. “We’ve been checking into it.”
Finn’s smirks. “Checking into it. Easy when you’re on the inside.”
“Who are you accusing?” Lorcan’s been silent to this point, but his gun is still gripped in his hand aimed at Finn. If anyone fires, we’re dead. Already, it seems almost impossible we’ll make it out alive.
“You go home, brother. You don’t need to see this.” Finn’s attention is locked on me.
Lorcan keeps his gun trained on his brother, but he steps in my direction. “I’m not leaving. Not unless Kim’s coming with me.”
“She’s rotten. Eating holes in our organization.” His posture is full of menace as he shadows him.
“We ate holes through the fabric of her life years ago, deartháir mor .”
I close my eyes, and my jaw tightens. “Lorcan,” I say. “Don’t.” I snap my eyes open, but it’s too late. He’s put it together.
“You fucking knew?” His voice booms out through the warehouse. “You fucking knew she was no good?” He stalks toward him, rage etched in his features.
I strain against the men securing me.
Lorcan holds his ground, the gun steady in his hand. “You kill her, you might as well fucking kill me. ’Cause I’ll hunt you down.”
“I don’t give a shit if we ripped her life to shreds years ago, brother. I don’t care if she’s got some sort of magical vagina that lures good men to insanity. And I don’t give a shit if you’re coming for me. ’Cause she’ll already be dead. You don’t keep a rabid dog as a pet, deartháir beag . You put it down. No matter how much you love it.”
Finn’s looking at his brother during his speech, but then he whirls toward me, gun raised. Lorcan’s voice travels along a tunnel as he screams for him to stop. The gun discharges.
A searing white-hot feeling slices through my chest. When I see the burning spot, blood is spreading out from the wound. My knees buckle, but the men behind me keep me upright.
Everything is moving in slow motion as Lorcan shoots Finn, takes out two of the men above and then tries to make his way to me as he’s fired on from above. He’s sprinting and weaving as the bullets fly.
White-hot pain springs up in my foot and my thigh, and I realize I’ve been hit again. The men behind me tug me toward the offices. My instinct is to fight, but I’m sluggish, heavy.
Without warning, the pressure on my arms is gone, and I almost stumble face-first into the cement floor. But Lorcan’s there, catching me around the waist, dragging me with him as bullets ping off every surface.
From behind, a flash grenade goes off. He jerks forward, collapsing onto the ground.
Somehow, he breaks our fall. We’re side-by-side, and the shouts of the FBI echo in the distance. I need to tell them we’re here. We need help. I open my mouth, but I can’t force out any sound.
My head falls to the side, and I meet Lorcan’s gaze. His eyes are glassy, dazed, unfocused. The black shirt on his chest appears wet, and I will my hand to touch him. But I can’t.
My whole body is so heavy. And I long to close my eyes.
“Lorcan,” I murmur.
It’s the only word I squeeze out before everything goes dark.