Chapter 7
Chapter
Seven
“ L et’s go ahead and get you home?” Ram whispered in Kade’s ear.
“Yes, please,” Kade mumbled, “I’m so fucking tired Batty.” He slumped into Ram’s warmth. Today had been more than enough for Kade. He was done. He wanted to go home and snuggle with Ram.
“I’ll get you home and then you can sleep while me and Doc continue to go over your file okay?” Ram assured his boy, Kade’s eyes were quickly filling with water and he didn’t want to have an audience while he took care of his boy. “Doc, can you take us back to Kade’s?” He wanted to get Kade out of here before he wasn’t able to hold back his emotions anymore. While he wouldn’t give a shit if Kade bawled all over him here and now he knew Kade would be embarrassed.
“Absolutely.” Doc grinned. “Justice, good to see you again brother.” He pulled Justice into a bear hug before he opened the door and moved aside to let Ram shuffle Kade out.
“We need to reschedule, Kade,” Justice told the man as he shuffled by. He wasn’t letting Kade out of their appointment. He’d been getting increasingly worried about Kade as he slowly seemed to spiral. He didn’t know anything about the man currently holding onto his friend but by the way Kade had sagged into the man, Justice was intrigued. He only wished the best for his friend, out of all of them Kade deserved to find some peace the most. He’d been alone most of his life. He needed someone to help him into the last chapters of his life. Someone who would love him for who he was and what he’d been through, and never take the man for granted. One thing about Kade, once you earned his trust you had his loyalty for life. He was a lot like the giant teddy bear that was his canine companion. He had to smother his chuckle as he pictured that in his head. Kade would be ferocious as a dog, all big and bad until he was praised. He’d noticed Kade’s need for praise when they served together, the man had a certified praise kink.
Kade groaned dramatically, swatting at Justice’s shoulder as he passed. “I just almost died, asshole.”
Justice raised a brow. “Just because you almost got hit by a car doesn’t mean you won’t have to talk about your feelings, Kade.” Justice assured him, making Doc snicker. “We gotta talk and you know it.” He saw the man with Kade eye’s narrow as he studied Kade before meeting Justice’s eyes.
“Is something wrong?” Ram asked, his deep gravelly voice making Kade shudder.
Justice met Doc’s eyes and raised a brow.
“Kade has been having trouble with panic attacks and bouts of depression.” Doc supplied for Ram cheerfully.
Ram stiffened wondering if that was why he’d noticed Kade using plastic cutlery more often than not, keeping him from making a drastic choice when he wasn’t feeling the best.
Kade sniffed. “Fuck off.” He turned to Justice. “You’re a dick,” Kade groused.
Justice grinned, pulling Kade into a bear hug of his own. “Love you brother.”
“Love you too, man.” Kade said, his voice cracking. He had been struggling a lot lately, things just seemed so damn bleak sometimes, but he was so fucking thankful to his brothers who stood by him through everything.
“It was nice to somewhat meet you,” Justice told Ram as he followed Kade out.
Ram stuck out his hand. “You as well, I’m sure we’ll be seeing more of each other so we can wait til then to go over pleasantries.”
Justice snorted. “Sounds good, bye guys. Bye Valk.” He made sure to give the big baby some extra love, he’d probably saved Kade’s life today and to the big lug it was just another day at the office. Good lord maybe he should look into a therapist for Valk, God knows the big boy could use some after dealing with Kade day in and day out.
By the time Ram pulled a sleepy Kade into his apartment, he was feeling the effects of what could have happened to his boy. He could have fucking lost Kade today, just like that this man he was falling hard for could have been ripped away from him, all because an idiot was too impatient to follow the laws. He hoped to God, the cops actually did something to the man and didn’t just let him go with a warning. “Doc, can you give me a few minutes? I want to get him cleaned up and out of these wet clothes.” He wanted Kade in something warmer but he also wanted to see for himself that his boy was okay.
Doc nodded, smiling wide. “Absolutely.” He waved them off while he set about taking care of Valk. The big boy needed to get out of his gear and needed some loving.
“He’s the best Daddy ever,” Kade mumbled, as he slumped into Ram’s side making Doc chuckle in agreement.
Ram easily pulled Kade into the master bathroom and stripped him, taking in the bruised hip and skinned knee and calf. “Fuck baby.” He knelt to get a closer look at Kade’s hip. The skin wasn’t broken but he could already tell it would become a gruesome purplish color soon. Kade must have landed on it when he hit the ground. He’d have to make sure he got some pain meds into Kade before he allowed him to get some sleep, he’d be sore as hell come tomorrow.
“I’m alright,” Kade slurred, shifting his feet as he wavered. He patted Ram’s shoulder and played with the hair on the back of his head. “I know I’ll probably be saying something different tomorrow, but I don’t feel anything right now, except exhaustion.” Kade assured him. He didn’t want Ram to fret over this, just because he got hurt didn’t mean the world had to stop spinning. Hell he got hurt all the time, bumping into things, stubbing his toe, and the one time he mistook the isopropyl alcohol as face wash… that shit had fucking burned for days it was almost like being blinded all over again.
Ram gently kissed Kade’s hip above the bruise and Kade’s little gasp made him feel a little bit better, but he needed to move things along before Kade’s newly found libido went into overdrive. “Let’s get you cleaned up alright? Then you can take a nap while I finish going over everything with Doc and then I’ll come and join you.”
“Promise?” Kade asked, his head thunking down on Ram’s shoulder as the man stood.
“Yes, baby. I promise. Come on in the shower you go.” Ram stripped quickly and followed behind Kade. He didn’t want Doc to have to wait very long so he quickly scrubbed Kade down making sure he stayed under the spray of the hot water to hopefully help combat the shivers his boy was still having, before pulling him out and drying him off. He made Kade put on some sweats and a hoodie before he helped Kade into bed. “I’m right there in the living room if you need me, baby. Okay? Just call out and I’ll come running.”
Kade nodded, pursing his lips and giving a little hum when Ram kissed him softly. “Night Daddy,” he mumbled, and was out before his head hit the pillow.
Ram had to take a moment to gather himself as he watched Kade sleep. He damn near obsessed over watching Kade’s chest rise and fall with his breaths. To think he’d almost lost this. Lost his man. His boy. It made his chest tighten to the point where it was a struggle to pull in a deep breath. He knew it was too soon for most people but he had no idea what he would do with himself if something were to happen to Kade. He’d love nothing more than to tie the man to his bed and never let him leave but he knew damn well Kade would object to that kind of treatment. He’d definitely have issues with Ram seeing him as weak even though that was the furthest thought from his mind. His boy was strong, powerful, and so fucking brave it just made him want to stuff Kade in his pocket and take him everywhere.
By the time Doc had finished explaining to him the damage Kade had gone through Ram was exhausted. He was still amazed by how much Kade had suffered, seeing his body was one thing because he didn’t know what caused the scars, but to actually get a vivid and graphic picture painted in his head about what they had done to Kade, made him swallow hard to keep the bile down. His mind was swimming with all the things Kade had been through and what he’d had to endure to survive. The damage to his body alone made his heart hurt and that was nothing compared to the mental and emotional trauma the man dealt with on a daily basis. Ram made sure he put his copies of the files in his bag so that he could add them to his phone later. He let Doc out with the promise to get together soon to talk more and went in search of his boy. He needed to hug him tight. “Kade?”
“In here, Daddy,” Kade’s sleepy voice called out.
Ram grinned when he entered the bedroom. Kade was snuggled up in the blankets and pillows, almost like he’d made his own little burrito. “Can I join your burrito party?” he asked, grinning from the doorway. Seeing Kade this way made his heart so happy. He’d always assumed Kade was always so serious but to see him relax and take the time to enjoy the things he liked made him feel good.
Kade grinned. “Yes, Daddy.” He pushed back one side of the blankets showing off his olive skin letting Ram know he’d stripped down at some point before he’d gotten back in the bed.
“What did you do with your clothes?” Ram said around a chuckle as he slid into the bed behind Kade and pulled him close, fitting their bodies together and sighing as he took in the man’s clean pine scent. God he loved this man being in his arms, naked too but he could just sit here and hold Kade for the rest of his life and never get bored.
“Like to sleep naked,” Kade murmured, snuggling into Ram’s warmth. Ram was like a fucking furnace, his big body was thick with muscles and covered in a light pelt of hair across his chest and down his stomach, and it never failed to make him feel warm and safe. “I think I’ma fall asleep again.” The man was a Daddy through and through, he was honestly surprised with himself that he hadn’t pegged the man as a Daddy earlier in their friendship, he’d just though Ram was bossy as fuck. How so very fucking wrong he was. Not about the bossy part because Ram was bossy as fuck, but about the Daddy part… and Jesus he was reaping the benefits now.
Ram kissed Kade’s temple. “That’s okay baby, you get as much sleep as you need.” He ran his fingers through Kade’s hair to help the man relax. He’d noticed Kade always seemed to relax when he touched him, whether it was a simple brush of his fingers, or holding him close. He was so thankful he was able to provide that safe space for Kade. While it would have hurt like hell had someone else been able to give Kade what he needed he never would have stepped in had he not been sure Kade was his.
“You’ll be here when I wake up?” That higher pitched voice asked worriedly. Kade rolled his eyes, he really needed to talk to both Doc and Justice to find out why he regressed when he was tired, it was starting to annoy the fuck out of him. There was nothing to be ashamed of if you were a little, but he was not and he knew that without a doubt. Yes, he loved it when Ram pampered him and took care of him, but he did not want nor need a man to tell him what to do every second of the day. Nor did he feel the need to regress into a younger headspace to deal with the outside world. Kade blinked a couple times… Well now that he thought about it, it may be nice to just let Ram handle all kinds of things. He’d have to do more thinking on that before he made up his mind.
“Yes baby, I’m not going anywhere.” Ram promised, snuggling in closer. He wondered if Kade regressing when he was tired was a trauma response to something.
“Mm’k,” Kade mumbled, he settled deeper into Ram’s neck. He always loved to sleep here, he didn’t even care if he was smothering Ram he needed to be fully touching the man. If he could sew their bodies together that would be cool, but that was considered creepy.
Ram chuckled as Kade slowly relaxed into sleep. His man was beautiful when he slept, all the worry lines in his face relaxed and made him look younger. Kade was beautiful even when he was stressed, but asleep and at peace he was breathtaking. Kade looked like an older version the world should have gotten of Andy Whitfield, his strong high cheekbones and beautiful lips and square jaw. Even the way his eyes always seemed to be narrowed in thought was breathtaking. He shuffled around and grabbed his phone, he had a new book he wanted to read, and while Kade slept it would be the perfect time to get some reading done.
Ram let Kade sleep for a few more hours before he tried to wake him. “Kade baby, let’s get up so we can eat.” He grinned as he stretched and Kade didn’t move.
Kade mumbled and stretched across Ram’s chest before he settled back into his warmth and continued to sleep.
Ram waited a few moments before he grabbed his phone again and texted Doc.
Ram: Question about Kade’s sleep?
Doc: He doesn’t sleep often and that’s normal his body has adapted to it. There will be days where he’ll sleep maybe an hour a day and then turn around and sleep twelve.
Ram: He’s slept most of the past few days. He slept all night last night and fell back asleep right after you left and has not woken up.
Doc: Wake him up after a bit more, try and see if you can get him on a schedule of at least getting up every 8 hours to eat and move around. Let him sleep as much as he needs, he feels safe with you therefore his mind is relaxing and he’s not hyper-vigilante, his body is taking what it needs. But if he sleeps too long that could lead to other issues including atrophy of his muscles if he doesn’t move around enough.
Ram: Got it thank you.
Ram set his phone back on the nightstand, he would give Kade a half hour more before he woke him again. He passed the time thinking of the future. When his alarm went off he raked his hands through Kade’s hair, and gently scratched his head. “Kade baby, you gotta get up.”
No reply.
“Kade…” He nudged Kade.
Kade moaned before smacking his lips and settling back in.
Ram chuckled. “Kade baby, you gotta get up, we gotta get something to eat.”
“Nooo,” Kade whined.
Ram smiled. His Little Britches was back. “Yes baby, I’m hungry. You don’t want Daddy to starve do you?”
Kade nuzzled into his neck, wrapping his strong arms around Rams waist. “Few more minutes, Daddy.”
Ram kissed those pouty lips. “You’ve slept all day baby, we need to get up and eat but we can come back and relax if you want. Is there a movie or something you want to listen to after we eat?”
“Beauty and the Beast,” Kade mumbled.
Ram raised a brow in surprise. “You like Disney?” That was not something he’d expected to hear from the man.
Kade sat up, his hair scattered over his head as he blinked sluggishly at Ram. “Who doesn’t?” He shrugged. He had loved watching Disney movies through the window of his neighbor’s house when he had been a child. There had been a little girl who lived next door, and while he’d been forbidden to befriend her she had adored all things Disney. Their windows had been across from each other and he’d opened his curtains, when he was supposed to be asleep, an inch so he could sit in the corner of his room and watch her nightly movie with her, before her parents came in and tucked her into bed.
Ram snorted. “Point taken, come on baby, let’s get up.” He patted Kade’s knee.
Kade yawned and stretched. “Fine,” he mumbled. He was so tired his body was struggling to stay awake. His body felt like it was weighed down by rocks and every movement was a battle he was fighting hard to win.
“I’ll fix something quick then we can get back in the bed.” Ram smothered his groan as Kade slid out of bed naked as the day he was born. “Fuck baby you’re trying to kill me aren’t you?” All that bronze skin on display made his mouth water, Kade was compact but built, with muscles that made his body move easily. Even though he was covered in scars, that didn’t take away from his beauty. The control Kade had over his own body was intoxicating and Ram couldn’t wait until he was really ready to explore that mouth-watering body.
Kade grinned. “No idea what you’re talking about.” His heart was pounding, even when he’d had his sight he wasn’t as comfortable in his body as he was with Ram. Now that he was up he could feel the anxiety crawling under his skin. He always felt like he was a bow string pulled way too tight anytime he was awake, and on the nights that his demons came for him it was even worse when he woke up.
Ram rolled his eyes. “Of course you don’t.” He smacked Kade’s ass on the way out of the door just to watch it jiggle. Sue him, he was an ass guy and it didn’t take much to make him happy.
“Ow. Jackass.” Kade rubbed his butt. “That was mean.” His heart had jumped at the playful contact. He wasn’t used to being touched in a playful or kind manner. He knew his men had always tried to show him easy affection, but it just wasn’t the same.
Ram laughed. “So I take it spanking is a hard limit?” he teased. He never would spank Kade for real, maybe a light spanking for pleasure but he would never use any type of harder impact play on his boy for pleasure or punishment. His baby had been through enough and now he deserved all the pampering and cuddles, and as soon as he got his boy feeling comfortable enough with him he would freely give those at any time.
“Yes, along with scat, water, blood and knife play, nothing with children and no breath play. Other than that I’m pretty open to trying new things. Oh and nothing that will leave permanent marks.” Kade shuddered as he thought back to some of the horror stories he’d heard from his men overseas about their sexual escapades.
“I’m pretty much the same, although I won’t be doing impact play with you. I’m a softer Daddy, I prefer cuddles and fun.”
Kade nodded as he sat at his spot at the bar. “Yeah, I have a high pain tolerance or at least I did, but with the chronic pain I’m in I’m not sure how that would work long term.”
Ram pulled out the ingredients he needed for loaded potato soup. “You’re not that kind of boy either, you don’t need a Daddy to take care of you all the time. You’re a successful man in your own right, you need the love and affection you didn’t get growing up. As I plan to love the shit out of you it won’t be a problem. I’ll definitely be more strict when Little Britches comes out to play but for the most part you’re a grown man and I’m not here to take over your life.” He had no idea when his Little Britches would be back but he was excited to get to know all of Kade’s sides better. He sighed softly, he needed to plan out a routine for Kade and him to follow, he sadly knew he wouldn’t be seeing Kade regress like a normal boy would, only when he was tired did his mind revert back to that age. He needed to talk to Doc about that but he needed to ask Kade for permission first.
Kade slumped in relief. “Okay, good. Not that there’s anything wrong with boys who need that but I definitely don’t. I enjoy working and helping people and I wouldn’t want to give that up, and I wouldn’t expect you to quit working at the club or the vet’s office. Those jobs make you happy and that’s all I want.” While he was surprisingly possessive of Ram he wouldn’t want to make the man think that he didn’t trust him.
Ram smiled as he kissed Kade’s cheek. “You’re just a cookie huh?” He blew a raspberry on Kade’s cheek and enjoyed the man’s laughter.
“What?” Kade asked, confused. A cookie? Where the hell had Ram come up with that bullshit?
“Yup. Crunchy outer layer with an ooey gooey center,” Ram teased. It was so true Kade had such a soft heart.
Kade snorted. “Fuck off.” He batted at Ram’s face as he tried to give him another kiss. “No kisses for you mister. Out here spreading lies, now that’s just rude.”
Ram laughed, settling the bowl in front of Kade. “It’s still kinda hot so just stir it before you eat.” He snuck a kiss to Kade’s forehead before the man could stop him.
Kade nodded, sliding his hand across the table to find the bowl, and gently stirred his soup as he waited for it to cool down. He could feel the heat from the bowl seeping into his skin “What exactly do you do at the club if you don’t mind me asking?”
“No, I don’t, I’m technically a bouncer. I mainly focus on the littles, they know going in that if they have any problems they can come to me and I will take care of them. I’ve never slept with any of the boys there. I’ve done scenes with spanking, rigging, and impact play but never with sexual contact. I always looked elsewhere. It can get messy very quickly,” Ram said easily, he knew Kade wouldn’t ask but he wanted to assure his man that he had nothing to worry about. Trauma from dealing with his ex would make Kade more reserved than was good for a budding relationship.
Kade breathed a sigh of relief. “Okay, that makes me feel better.” It really did, while he couldn’t fault Ram for having a past, the man had made that very clear, he felt better knowing he wouldn’t be walking into a room full of boys his Daddy had been with.
Ram nodded, having expected that. “When you’re up to it you should come by one night and I can give you a tour and you can meet some of the people.” He really wanted Kade to meet the people he’d come to see as family there, they would help him find his footing in the kink world.
Kade paused. “Won’t they know I’m your boy?” That part made him uncomfortable, he didn’t want people to assume shit about him without knowing him
Ram shook his head even though Kade couldn’t see him. “No, while I am a Daddy I have been in vanilla relationships before so they’ll just assume that’s what this is and unless you correct them I won’t. I understand the need for you to be private and while some Daddies wouldn’t be able to deal with that, I want you anyway I can get you so I’m not worried about it.” He placed his bowl in the sink after he rinsed it out and leaned back against the counter.
Kade chuckled. “Just like that?” That was one thing about Ram that had surprised him, the man had stopped sleeping around and waited for him, he didn’t want to change anything about him and he was fine with Kade living his own life. Kade hated to admit it but he was waiting for the other shoe to drop, there had to be something wrong with Ram.
“Just like that, baby.” Ram agreed. “Now eat your food so we can go watch the movie. I haven’t seen it in years.” He was excited for it too, a chance to cuddle his baby and let him relax and enjoy the rest of his night.
Kade laughed, then shoveled the rest of the soup into his mouth before placing his bowl in the sink next to Ram’s. “You ready for this?”
“Oh, yeah baby.” Ram assured him, running his fingers through Kade’s hair as they headed to the bedroom. Ram helped Kade set up all the blankets and pillows into a little fort so that they both could be comfortable. He’d noticed Kade seemed to gravitate towards things that were soft against his skin, and he knew that was probably for sensory pleasure. “You sure you’re comfortable?” Ram asked, holding in his chuckle as Kade was literally smothered in their fort. His boy was grinning ear to ear as he laid snuggled up in all the warm, soft blankets. He was in heaven, and Ram couldn’t be happier seeing Kade relax and be happy.
“Yup, hurry up Daddy the movie is starting.” Kade patted his arm as he heard the opening credits and grinned when Ram snorted. He’d always loved the Beauty and the Beast, it was his favorite above all the others, he even loved the live action version as it explained things that hadn’t been in the original. He’d always been one to sympathize with the beast, he felt he could relate to him more than any other character in the franchise. He wasn’t a prince by any means but he had been neglected as a child, as an adult he was misunderstood by pretty much every one he came into contact with, including the people that were hiring him for a job. He couldn’t remember how many times, especially when they were just starting out, that Kade had to have the people escorted out and refused to help them because they felt that because he was blind he couldn’t do his job, and that sure as fuck wasn’t the case.
Would he ever be able to resist that sweet voice? Ram wondered and then shook his head, no he never would, and if he ever did he would know that something was really, really wrong. He grinned, within five minutes of the movie starting Kade was fast asleep again snoring into his neck like he was dreaming he was a tractor. He chuckled, and laid back enjoying the weight of Kade’s body pushing him into the mattress. He had no problem being Kade’s safe space and with the amount of sleep the man was catching up on it was clear to him that Kade hadn’t felt safe in a really long time. He hoped to fix that as they got closer, and Ram made a mental note to talk to Torres or Saint about what they could do about Devin. The man needed karma to give him a swift kick in the nuts. He didn’t want his boy to have to deal with that man’s bullshit. Kade didn’t owe anyone anything and especially not a piece of shit that was nothing more than a mistake in Kade’s life. The man had cost Kade so much, and after Kade had sacrificed so much of his life to the military and doing his best to keep his men safe, to know Kade came home alone and damaged just to have Devin make things worse for him, made Ram’s blood boil in a way it never had before. He kissed Kade’s forehead pulling him closer and enjoying the closeness, and for the first time in years he wanted to write to his mother and tell her about Kade. He still snuck his mother some letters a few times a year when he knew his father was away. He knew that Josiah Yoder would beat his wife if he knew she was still in contact with Ram. His father was nothing more than an abusive drunk who used the Bible to make excuses and justify his behavior. He had tried many times over the years to get his mother to leave the Amish, but she had refused. He still had a younger sister that was at home and his mother was terrified to leave her, and his little sister Beth didn’t understand what life could be outside of the Amish. Beth was special, a grown woman with the mind of a child and the church would do anything it could to keep control over her and therefore his mother. He felt a deep pang of longing, he knew his mother would adore Kade. He’d tried a few times over the past year to see her in their secret hiding spot but he’d gotten word that his father had been keeping a closer eye on her, and that terrified him. While his mother didn’t agree with his lifestyle and couldn’t seem to understand that being gay wasn’t a choice for him, she had always loved him unconditionally. Even going so far as to throw herself on top of him when he was younger to save him from his father’s wrath, which she had paid for ten fold.