Retribution (Anthem River)

Chapter 8

Chapter

Eight

T he next morning Kade left for work before Ram had gotten up. He wished he could have stayed in bed a little longer and just relaxed with Ram next to him. He really wished he could see the man again. His gorgeous face was starting to fade from his memory. He could vividly remember the first time he’d ever seen Ram. It had been over a FaceTime call with Saint when they had been deployed a few months before Kade had been captured, and thinking about the gorgeous man was one of the reasons he’d survived. He’d made a promise to himself that he would ask Ram out if he survived, but he’d never expected to lose his sight and when he’d gotten back he’d had to deal with Devin and at that point he couldn’t handle anything else.

“Ram! How’s it going?” Saint asked as he sat next to Kade on his bunk.

“Things are fine here, Saint. How’re you?”

The deep rumbling voice had snapped Kade’s gaze away from the book he’d been reading to meet the most beautiful intense bluish gray eyes he’d ever seen.

“This is my brother Kade. Kade, this is my Uncle Ram,” Saint said grinning from ear to ear.

“Pleasure to meet you, sir,” Kade said, nodding to the gorgeous man on the screen. His hair had gone mostly gray at some point in his life, but his eyes smiled even as his lips stayed flat.

“You as well,” Ram said, smiling softly and Kade’s heart thumped painfully in his chest.

What he wouldn’t give to be able to be with a man like Ram. While he could understand the beauty and fragility of a twink, he wanted a man his own size in his bed. He wanted to trust someone enough to let go and let himself feel. While all the guys cut up about their conquests Kade had kept his mouth shut, he’d only been with one man before. Granted he was in his mid-thirties and it was a little weird, the time had never felt right to meet someone else, and he would never sleep with any of the men he knew, or worked with. That was an easy way to get your ass kicked or in trouble. He licked his lips and tried to go back to his book as Saint continued to talk to his uncle. He stole every glance he could get of the man out of the corner of his eye. He didn’t want to make Saint feel weird with his best friend crushing on his uncle but the man was hot as fuck. He’d heard Saint’s father and Ram had been born Amish and he could see it. Ram was built, tall, stocky, and compact, his body was Kade’s wet dream come to life. The man’s voice was another thing that revved his engines. God the man was so fucking sexy, he shifted a little to hopefully hide his growing erection. God forbid the man or Saint saw what Ram’s fucking voice did to him. He cleared his throat patting Saint’s shoulder as he sat up, making sure to keep his book strategically placed to hide his problem. “I’m gonna hit the showers. It was a pleasure to meet you Ram, have a good day.”

Ram nodded. “And you as well, I hope to speak with you again one day.”

Kade nodded not really believing the man but felt it was the polite thing to do as he moved towards the showers as fast as he could without drawing attention to himself. Thankfully the bathroom door locked and the overhead fan was so fucking loud you couldn’t hear a bomb go off. He stripped quickly and jumped into the cold water right as it was changing to hot. He hated masturbating, he always felt like he was being watched and judged, but with the color his cock was turning he didn’t have much of a choice because his erection wasn’t going anywhere. He got a squirt of shampoo and used it as lube as he leaned his back against the wall as the water pelted his chest. “Fuck,” he hissed as he grabbed his cock and stroked it base to tip. This was gonna be fast. He took a deep breath and parted his legs further as he leaned more into the wall to brace himself so he wouldn’t fall. He easily pictured Ram in his head, that deep commanding voice telling him what to do. He’d always wanted to trust a man enough to order him around in bed, it had always been a fantasy of his. He knew Ram would be the perfect one already, he’d been listening to stories about him since he’d met Saint two years ago. He moved his hand faster as he pictured Ram joining him in the shower, pushing him up against the wall with his body as he whispered all the dirty things he wanted to do to Kade in his ear. He had to bite down on his lower lip to contain his shout of pleasure as he spurted all over the shower wall. He slumped further into himself as his body was wracked with powerful aftershocks. Fuck he’d never come so hard in his life. Sex with Devin at this point was barely tolerable, he rarely ever came anymore and he only did if he imagined someone else in Devin’s place, but the nameless faceless body didn’t do much for him unless he was desperate for some kind of release. When he was done and able to get himself cleaned up he went back to his bunk. He smiled at Saint as he excitedly talked to his brothers. God what would he give to have had a family like Saint’s growing up. His parents were dead to him and his brother long gone, they hadn’t been good parents to begin with. He’d always been on his own but he loved to see Saint’s face light up when he spoke to or about his family. He even secretly loved Saint trying to include him, but he’d wave him off and tell him to enjoy the time he had with them. It wasn’t every day they were given time to be able to call and check in on family. They were being deployed the following morning and he knew Saint had been worried he wouldn’t be able to talk to his family before they had to go radio silent and he was happy his brother was at ease now.

Thankfully he remembered to leave the man a message so he wouldn’t freak out. He had an early appointment that he couldn’t reschedule about the missing Marine, Jordan Wells, otherwise he would have stayed in the warm bed with Ram and waited until the man had woken up. “What have you got?” he asked his team. All the members of his team were there, scattered around his office. He could hear each of the different sounds of their breathing along with the different sounds of their shoes and each movement they made. He knew they all did it on purpose, so that he could know where each one was at any given time, and he secretly loved them for it. They always included him no matter what, even if the plans were stupid he still got an invite.

“I tracked down his commanding officer to see if I could get any information on that last mission. The man was not helpful,” Cowboy grumbled, raking a hand through his hair. He’d been up all night trying to get some answers on this case and he had gotten nowhere and that just pissed him off. A man’s life was at stake, if the man was still alive at this point, and they all wanted to bring him home.

“We didn’t get anywhere either,” Doc said frustrated.

Kade heard Scorpion’s grunt and figured the man was trying to calm Doc down. If there was one thing Doc hated it was betraying someone whose life was in your hands. Like a brother-in-arms, Doc didn’t take kindly to the whole situation. Kade smiled softly, if there were two men better suited for each other than Doc and Scorpion he’d run down Main Street nude. He just hoped Doc pulled his head out of his ass soon and realized his partner was in love with him before it was too late. The fact that Kade could tell being blind made him want to laugh.

“It seems like he just vanished into thin air, boss,” Torres said. “All that his team members can tell us is one second he was there and then the next he wasn’t.” He shook his head as he tried to figure out what he was missing. None of it made any sense, there should have been no way a man could just disappear in the fucking desert.

“My gut tells me something else is happening so keep digging. Even the slightest thing could lead somewhere. Get to work,” Kade ordered.

“Got it.” They all answered at once as they filed out of his office to get to work.

Kade sighed, raking his hand through his hair as he heard his door shut. He hated when a man got left behind, it hit way too close to home and this whole situation smelled like rotting fish. Something was up and he could only hope the young man hadn’t paid with his life.

“Hello.” He answered his phone, automatically connecting it to the Bluetooth earpiece, as he slumped back into his chair, and looked out towards the window. He could see it was bright outside, the hazy whitish coloring hurt for a second as he got used to it.

“You left before I could check to see if you were feeling better,” Ram grumbled. He’d been unnaturally pissed this morning when he had woken up to a cold bed and his boy was nowhere to be found. That was the first rule he was going to put into place. Kade was not to leave his side without letting him know.

Kade immediately relaxed. Ram’s deep voice had a calming effect on him that was both wild and soothing. “Yeah, sorry I had a meeting about the missing Marine this morning.”

“Rule one Kade: Don’t leave without letting me know. If we sleep together wake me up and tell me before you leave okay? Have you found anything?” Ram asked curiously.

Kade winced, fuck already he was messing this up. “I left you a note, I didn’t know when you had fallen asleep and didn’t want to wake you but I promise from now on I’ll wake you.” Kade sighed. “No, and that’s pissing me off, it’s like the man just vanished, nobody can tell us anything.”

“So someone is lying?” Ram guessed.

“Yes. It’s just trying to figure out who it is in enough time. I can only hope the man is still alive,” Kade said frankly.

“I understand. That’s got to be tough though,” Ram said softly, he knew his man’s beating heart was being torn apart by this case. Kade had been where this man was now, he knew the horrors that awaited the young man and not being able to find him was slowly tearing Kade and his men apart.

Kade sighed again sprawling out in his chair. “It is,” he mumbled. “My men are doing everything they can but I still don’t like this.”

“I can understand that. I’ll let you get back to it, I just wanted to call and see if you wanted to join me in going to Owen’s tonight to play with puppies,” Ram asked as he slid his jeans over his hips and got about getting ready to leave Kade’s apartment. Valk looked on from his bed as Ram had already taken him out and fed him.

Kade sighed. “If we get done in enough time then yes, I would love to.” He’d been patiently waiting for the chance to go see the puppies, he loved dogs of all kinds but there was nothing that got him excited like going to see some puppies.

“Okay, that sounds good, since you don’t know how long you’ll be, I’ll take Valk to work with me today so that way I can keep an eye on him.” Ram assured him. Valk was completely fine but he knew Kade wouldn’t be working with him for a few more days just to make sure the soreness and medication had worn off.

Kade snorted. “Thanks, I was going to give him the day off but that would probably be better so he’s not stuck at home having to hold it if he needs to go potty.”

Ram laughed. “I think he knows. He’s already up and waiting by the door. I’ll grab some food for him for lunch. What time do you take your lunch? If you have enough time I’ll bring you something.” He hoped Kade would have time, he already missed the man terribly and that thought alone made his heart rate increase, but none of the panic that usually hit when he started having feelings for someone made an appearance and he didn’t really know what to think about that.

Kade smiled overjoyed. Even though he’d seen the man mere hours ago he missed his quiet strength and Ram’s ability to just make things stop so he could catch his breath. “Whenever you take yours is fine, I’ll be in my office all day fielding calls and checking sources.” That was one good thing about being the boss, he could just hole up in his office and have other people do the leg work.

“Okay, anything specific you want for lunch?” Ram asked as he helped Valk into his truck and waited for the phone to switch to Bluetooth before he drove away.

“No, anything’s fine with me. I gotta go have another meeting, I’ll see you later Batty,” Kade said grumpily.

Ram chuckled. “Bye baby.” He could imagine Kade had just wanted to hide out in his office all day and not deal with anyone, and now he was grumpy because he did have to deal with people. He chuckled, Kade cracked him up, the man was such an enigma.

Kade sighed as soon as he hung up, he didn’t know whether to be happy or panic with how well things were going with Ram. He’d just gotten with the man and he already hated being away from him. It didn’t make any sense. Kade was good on his own, hell he always had been. He shook his head as he pulled up the files and connected his earbud to listen to the information that had been found in preparation for the meeting.

That’s how Ram found him a few hours later. His man was yanking on his hair as he banged his forehead on the desk. “Is something wrong?” he asked, slightly alarmed. Kade seemed to lean more towards self-destruction when he got overwhelmed versus destroying anything else.

Kade grunted, continuing to bang his head as he spoke. “Gotta shake the thoughts loose,” he mumbled.

Ram caressed the back of Kade’s head effectively stopping his abuse. “More like beating the brain cells you have left.”

Kade snorted. “Yeah, you’re probably right. People are so fucking stupid.” He shook his head pushing his laptop away utterly disgusted with what was on it.

“I’m guessing this has to do with your missing soldier?” Ram asked as he spread out the subs and chips he’d stopped to get on the way here. Valk was already snoozing away in his big bed by the window.

“Yeah, I don’t understand how a man with that type of training and that type of team could just disappear, not to mention his team is being tight-lipped. Like I don’t give a shit if you’re doing something illegal I care that you fucking left a man behind!” Kade snapped slamming his hand down on the table.

Ram kissed his forehead, understanding how Kade was feeling, but also wanting to soothe him. “I know baby, why don’t you eat. Maybe that’ll help you take a step back and think.” He pushed Kade’s food closer to him. “I got you a chicken, bacon, and ranch sub with some chips, no onions.”

Kade’s stomach growled in response and he could feel his cheeks heat. “Thank you,” he mumbled, immediately reaching for the food. He hadn’t realized how hungry he was until Ram said something.

Ram grinned. “Eat up, then if you want to talk about the case I’ll listen. I doubt I’ll be any help but at least you can use me as a sounding board.”

Kade chuckled. “I’d appreciate that, I feel like I’m losing my shit trying to figure this out,” he grumbled, shoving half the sub into his mouth and taking a huge bite.

Ram quickly snapped a photo as Kade looked like a damn chipmunk with his cheeks puffed out as he slowly chewed his food. “I meant slowly eat, not choke yourself. Although I give you an A-plus for deep throating skills,” Ram teased.

Kade made a choking sound as he swallowed. “Haha you’re so funny,” he said hoarsely when the food went down.

“What? You looked like you were competing in the deep throating olympics with the way your cheeks puffed up,” Ram told him trying to keep the laughter out of his voice, but judging by Kade rolling his eyes behind his glasses he’d failed.

Kade grinned. “I’d win that gold medal.” He was absolutely sure of that fact. While he didn’t really enjoy sex per se he’d learned to suck dick pretty quick to just get shit over with. It used to piss Devin off so much that Kade would just suck him off and be done when Devin wanted Kade to fuck him, but at that point Kade couldn’t even get it up around Devin.

Ram laughed. “I do love a man with confidence.” He pinched Kade’s chin and kissed his cheek. He loved to see this funny, relaxed side of Kade.

They ate in comfortable silence for a few moments before Ram spoke again.

“I do have something I want to discuss with you later tonight if you’re up for it,” Ram asked. He really wanted to know more about the man.

Kade raised a brow. “What do you want to talk about?”

Ram grinned. “Little Britches.”

Kade made a choking noise as he swallowed. “Don’t wanna talk about that,” he said quickly. He really didn’t even know what to say about that, it wasn’t like he could just regress into the persona to make Ram happy. He froze, did he like the man enough to even consider that? Or was he just slowly going insane?

Ram leaned forward to speak directly against his boy’s ear. “I want to know more about my precious boy, and you’re gonna tell me about him.”

Ram’s deep voice caused goosebumps to slither down his spine and he swallowed hard. “Yes, Batty.”

“Does the light hurt your eyes or can you take off your glasses?” Ram asked as he shoved a few chips into his mouth. He wanted to see all of his boy, but he couldn’t very well strip Kade down in his office and have the man walk around naked to please him. He’d have to file that thought away for a later date.

Kade paused. “Not really, are you sure? My eyes usually make people uncomfortable.”

Ram raised a brow. “Yes, I’m sure. I’ve seen your eyes a few times already and while yes they are different I love being able to see them.” Kade’s eyes didn’t lie, the man was vulnerable when his eyes were shown and it wasn’t something Kade did often.

Kade didn’t even know what to say to that so he just removed his glasses and put them in his suit jacket pocket, and blinked a few times as his eyes adjusted to the difference in the amount of air that hit his eyes. It felt almost like when you fell asleep in your contacts and then you took them out and then you got a slight stinging sensation as your eyes adjusted to the oxygen.

“There’s my handsome man,” Ram said as he caressed Kade’s cheek. He could see the man was uncomfortable but he hoped over time Kade would accept his compliments for the truth they were. “Are you done?” He wouldn’t even push for eye contact right now, just being able to see them clearly was enough for now.

Kade nodded as he crunched up the sandwich wrapper. “That was really good, thank you.” He was at a loss on what to do now. His glasses were a security blanket he wouldn’t lie and while he trusted Ram enough to show his eyes to him, he was still uncomfortable not being able to see Ram’s reaction to them.

Ram snickered. “I figured if I didn’t come here and make sure you ate, you wouldn’t have until late tonight.” At the heat rising in Kade’s cheeks Ram knew he’d gotten the answer right.

“I tend to get lost in my work,” Kade said sheepishly. It didn’t help that he was blind and when he was engrossed in his work he couldn’t see the light change as the sun moved across the sky. Most nights he didn’t even bother going home as he was always working until late into the evening.

Ram smiled. He knew that was true, Kade was an extremely successful man and he knew a lot of time and effort had gone into the business Kade had made with his brothers. “I know that baby, that’s why I decided to bring the food to you. I know you’re a very busy man, and I love seeing what you’ve done for so many people.” He leaned over and kissed Kade’s cheek as he pulled the man closer. Each time he touched Kade it seemed to shock the man a little, so he made sure to touch him and touch him often. He wanted Kade to know he wanted to touch him all the time. “But I want you to be taken care of, so it’s my job to step up when you forget.”

Kade gave him a soft smile. “Just a heads up that’ll probably happen a lot.”

Ram smiled softly. It would take a while before Kade would understand that he wouldn’t leave him over something as trivial as forgetting to eat, and he was okay with that. He would remind the man as much as he needed to. “That’s fine baby, I’m not going anywhere.”

Kade felt like shit. He wasn’t trying to be difficult and push Ram away but it was a knee jerk reaction to point out his faults so the man could come to his senses and leave. Kade knew if he got anymore attached to Ram and actually fell for the man, Ram would have the power to utterly destroy him in a way that not even being tortured for months had done, and that thought alone scared the shit out of him.

“When you’re done with work would you like to go with me to see the puppies? I know we didn’t get to last time and I know you were excited to see them,” Ram asked as he played with the hair on the back of Kade’s head.

“I don’t know when I’ll be done here.” Kade winced, he fucking hated paperwork. “But yes I really do want to go and see them.”

Ram nodded understanding. “That’s fine if you can’t today we can try again later. You gonna get back to the paperwork?”

Kade nodded sadly. “Yeah, I hate it but it has to be done.” He scoffed. He really should put it off on someone else, but he was anal about shit being done right and couldn’t afford for there to be mistakes.

Ram chuckled. “I can understand that.” No one liked paperwork, it was usually the bane of his existence, and then there were some nights where he wished all he had to deal with was paperwork. It was like a double-edged sword.

“What are you going to do?” Kade asked hesitantly. He didn’t want Ram to think he was trying to be controlling or nosy, or that he didn’t trust him. He was just interested in learning all he could about the man.

Ram could tell Kade was nervous about asking and could imagine what it was like asking Devin anything, but he smiled and hugged Kade closer. “I have a surgery in about two hours that I have to perform, and if you’re okay with it I was asked to come to an event at Cathartic Release tonight.”

“Oh.” Kade didn’t really know what to say to that. He trusted Ram more than he trusted most people, he had no doubt in his mind that Ram wouldn’t stray. It was others he didn’t trust and the thought of someone else touching Ram pissed him off. He had to take a deep breath to control himself, he wasn’t jealous. Jealousy meant you wanted something that wasn’t yours. He was territorial, he protected what was his, and Ram was all his until the man left.

Ram saw the anger flash through Kade’s eyes and bit his lip to hide his smile when Kade cleared his throat. He could see all the emotions pass across Kade’s eyes clear as day.

“That sounds like fun,” Kade said flatly.

Ram lost his battle and grinned. “Yeah it’s Little’s night and I was asked to help keep an eye on things, would you like to join me?” He chuckled at Kade’s surprise. “You don’t have to, baby, I just thought I’d ask. It only lasts about an hour.”

Kade licked his lips and tried to swallow around the lump in his throat. “Are you expecting me to play or something?”

Ram’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “Oh, God no.” He laughed at himself. “No, you don’t have to unless you want to, I just want you there so I’m not bored and I think you need the reassurance that people will respect that I am off limits now.”

Kade grunted, it didn’t really sound like a bad thing but he couldn’t lie and say his anxiety wasn’t wreaking havoc on his mind and emotions. “Is it going to be packed?” he asked softly. He wasn’t good with new places and new people all at once, he usually had to work up to things like this.

Ram pursed his lips as he threw an arm over Kade’s shoulders and pulled him up against his side. “Kind of, there will be around fifty or so people there. I usually arrive around thirty minutes before the others so that way I can make sure things are set up and relax before the Littles show up. I have my own booth there that we can sit at and relax, I’ll just have to get up and check on the Littles every so often. I want to make it clear you don’t have to come, Kade, it’s not a requirement. Yes, I would love for you to experience where I work but I understand this is a big step for you. Do not push yourself too far because you think it’s what I want. Do you understand me?”

Kade sighed and slumped into Ram’s side. “Yes, Batty.”

“Good boy. Now I want you to think about it and let me know, okay? No matter what answer you give me, I’m fine with it, okay?” Ram said firmly, he wanted to make sure Kade would say no if he needed to. It really didn’t matter if Kade couldn’t join him tonight, he knew it would be a big step and Kade was unsure of their relationship and he was okay with that. He would wait until Kade was ready and not a moment less. He didn’t want Kade to just agree to everything he wanted because that’s what he thought it would take to get Ram to stay.

“Okay, I will,” Kade murmured, enjoying the feeling of being pressed up against Ram. The man always made him feel safe and that was one of the biggest things for him. He never felt safe anymore, not that he could ever remember having felt safe before, but the men who had tortured him had made sure he never would again.

Ram settled for a few moments and just let Kade soak up all his affection like the dying little plant he was, he had to go soon but he enjoyed spending time with his cranky boy no matter if they were doing something or just sitting there and enjoying each other’s company. “You need to get back to work and I need to get ready for the surgery, are you okay?”

Kade nodded, he really didn’t want Ram to leave. It made his heart hurt to think about but he just smiled softly at the man. “Yeah I’m good, this paperwork will keep me busy for a while.” He bit his lip to keep it from wobbling. Shit, just the thought of Ram leaving brought tears to his eyes.

Ram nodded. “Alright, I’ll call you when I’m done okay?” He could see Kade fighting his emotions and kissed his forehead. Soon he would take some time off and be able to spend all of it with his boy.

Kade nodded and stood shifting a little to ease his sore muscles. He needed to remember to get up more and walk around.

Ram gently kissed Kade’s lips knowing that if he went further he would never leave. “Be good for me okay? I’ll call you when I’m done and we’ll see about going to see the puppies.”

Kade nodded, grinning. “Okay.”

“Drink some water!” Ram ordered as he walked out of the door and grinned as he heard Kade’s snort of laughter.