Five
FIVE
HARLEY
Present Day
The tension in the room is palpable. I didn’t think I’d ever see Hadrian again, yet the man who stole my teenage heart is standing in front of me, staring at me as if I’m something to eat. Maybe I am and he’s about to devour me. Anything would be better than having to talk to him.
I’m almost thirty. I should be over these emotions, but apparently, my feelings for Hadrian haven’t diminished. And even though the difference in our ages no longer matters, I still see him as a mature, unattainable man.
I’ve become used to ignoring my feelings, though. When Hadrian walked out and didn’t look back, my young heart was crushed. I closed myself off to the possibility of having a relationship with another man because I never again wanted to experience hurt in the way I did back then. I’m different now to the girl I was thirteen years ago.
I don’t want to live the rest of my life running my father’s organisation, but when my father developed heart problems and became increasingly unwell, I promised him I would take charge until he was well enough to take the reins again. And I won’t let him down.
“What are you doing here?” I ask, faking my bravado and not wanting Hadrian to see just how shaken I am by his presence.
“Where’s ye da?” His deep, rumbling tone vibrates through me, even though he’s a few feet away.
I know I shouldn’t still feel so attracted to the man who nearly broke me, but hearing his voice does something to me I can’t explain and can’t deny.
“He’s… takin’ some time off,” I tell Hadrian. “I’m running things for now.”
His eyes lock on mine, their colour as alluring as it was all those years ago. I didn’t fall in love with him because of his looks, though. There’s more to the man in front of me than just his outer appearance. He worked for my father, but there was always a gentleness to his rough exterior. It was that side of him that I wanted for myself. He told me I was too young for him, but there was only a handful of years between us. Granted, I was sixteen at the time. But it didn’t matter to me, because I knew what I wanted. Only, he didn’t want me.
“What do ye mean?” There’s a new, Irish twang to his northern accent, and I have to fight the smile that threatens to tilt my lips.
I shrug, turning away from him, and look out at the port that’s busy with people rushing to and fro.
“He’s not been doing well, and I’ve had to step up and take the lead,” I tell Hadrian. “If you need somethin’ then you come to me. If I can’t help, I’ll ask Gordon to deal with it.”
“And who the feck is Gordon?”
I don’t want to tell him anything about what’s happened to my da. When they left, we had a few months of troubles with rival gangs. But when my father hired Gordon as his right-hand man, things got better.
The problem is, I don’t like Gordon, and he doesn’t like me. I know if I were to tell Hadrian everything, he’d more than likely kill the man.
“I’m askin’ ye a question,” he says, his voice deeper now, rougher. There’s a gravel to his words that reminds me of the evening I asked him to kiss me, and he told me no.
Hadrian thought of me as innocent back then, and I guess I was. He wanted to make sure I enjoyed my childhood, as he put it, not look up to a man who killed, maimed, and tortured others for a living. After I started working for my father, though, I saw things that ensured my innocence was nothing more than a lie.
Over the years, I’ve tried to forget Hadrian, but nobody else has ever come close to igniting the same desire that I felt for him.
“Gordon’s my father’s right-hand man, and he’s been helping me run things while Da is healing at home,” I finally bite out.
He leans in closer, surprising me with the scent of his cologne. I remember that smell. It was the one I’d get lost in while trying to keep a clear head around him. I never succeeded.
“What do ye mean?” He cocks his head to the side, looking at me as if I’m speaking another fucking language.
Hadrian wanted me to walk away from this life and leave my father’s business. It’s the one demand of his that I wanted to obey, but I couldn’t abandon the man who raised me. Even though I resented my father for bringing me into his organisation, there was no way out once I was in.
“I’ve had to take over from Da. He’s been…” I shake my head as I think about my father’s health. “He’s been sick for a while now. He developed heart problems a few years ago and eventually he had cardiac surgery. He seemed to be on the mend and ready to take back the organisation, but a few months ago he started to go down hill again, and the doctors aren’t sure why. They keep testing for anything and everything, but they haven’t discovered the cause yet. With my father unwell, I’m the one in charge. So, as I said, if you need something, you can talk to me.”
I turn to walk away, but Hadrian is faster.
His hand swipes out, and grabbing my arm, he swings me around so fast I stumble into his tall, rigid frame. He’s bigger than he was back then. He has more ink, and he still makes those fucking teenage flurries of excitement flutter in my belly.
“Like feck ye’re running this shite,” Hadrian bites out as he pins me with a glare so fierce I’m sure he’s going to kill me. “Where the feck is your old man? I want to speak to him.”
When I go to pull away, his grip tightens, his fingers digging into my flesh, and I can’t help but bite my lip to keep from moaning at the sensations coursing through my body. He doesn’t know anything about me since he left. He doesn’t know I enjoy a bite of pain with my pleasure, and he’s delivering it in spades right now.
“Let me go.” I keep my voice firm, commanding, even though I want nothing more than to sink into his arms and beg him to fuck me.
When Hadrian left, I was a mess, and I told my father how I felt about him. Da was adamant that Hadrian was far too dangerous for me and had done the right thing by leaving. I tried to persuade him that Hadrian was someone who could’ve kept me safe if I needed it. Yes, there was blood on his hands, but he would never have hurt me, not out of anger anyway, but my father didn’t want to listen.
“Harley,” Hadrian murmurs then, his tone softening, and it tugs at every part of my restraint.
I don’t want to care about him. I certainly can’t allow him to see what he’s doing to me, so I pull against his hold. He releases me, and the last remnants of my stupid teenage heart break once more.
“There is nothing here for you, Hadrian.” I turn and start to walk away.
I don’t make it far before I hear him say, “There’s always been something here for me, Magpie.” The words he utters sink into my psyche, into my chest, and they attack my heart with a vengeance.
My feet cease to move, and I flick my gaze over my shoulder. He’s watching me, like he always used to. No matter how many times he told me he wasn’t right for me, I never believed him. I could see in his eyes what he felt for me. And when he walked away, I wanted so badly to hate him, but I never could bring myself to feel anything but love. Now everything is different, and there’s no room for him in my life—or my heart.
So, I reply, “Not anymore.”
I turn and walk to my sleek, black BMW M5 that my father bought for me when I turned twenty-one. I didn’t want something over the top, or conspicuous, so I chose a car that I’d seen a lot of affluent youngsters driving.
Preparing to leave, I take a long deep breath. I don’t look back as I start the engine. I can’t bring myself to face him. I don’t know why Hadrian has returned, but before I bump into him again, I’m going to have to try to figure out what he wants from me.
It’s only as I’m pulling out of the car park that I realise I didn’t get to finish the job I came here to do, so I’ll have to return later. The warehouse is one of the places where we store the stock we unload from the ships that dock at the small port in South Shields. It’s not as large as many of the other ports around the country, but it’s big enough for our needs.
I am aware that recently some shipments have been going astray, and our buyers are demanding an explanation. Gordon assures me they are going missing after they leave our hands, and the problem is not ours. I don’t entirely trust my father’s right-hand man, so I thought I would do some digging around and do a stock-check for myself.
I’ve been running the day-to-day side of the business since Da took ill. He’s not been in the office for a while now, but he is still working with me behind the scenes when he feels well enough. The organisation and the men who work for it will always belong to my father, and I hope one day he will be strong enough to take back the reins.
I’ve managed to keep our noses clean since taking over as boss. There hasn’t been the violence and killings like there were when my father was solely in charge, and the men who work for us have stayed out of jail.
Hadrian’s arrival can only mean one of two things—Da has been doing some deals behind the scenes that I’m not aware of, or someone has fucked up and our organisation is responsible for the missing shipments. I’ve a feeling there’s a storm’s about to rage along the Tyne, and I’m going to have to find a way to ride it out.
My stomach knots with anxiety that something is wrong. Even though this isn’t the life I would’ve chosen for myself, I want to make Da proud. He’s entrusted me with the shipments and with the men who have only ever answered to him, and he trusts me to make the right decisions for our future.
When I pull up to the house I grew up in, our security opens the gates to let me through. I’d planned to go back to my place, the one I bought as a hideaway, but I need to see Gordon. He’s been investigating the missing shipments for me, but he hasn’t found anything yet, which means he’s either hiding shite from me, or he’s actually as useless as I believe him to be.
Killing the engine, I hop out of the car and head to the front door, which opens before I reach it. Standing in front of me is Gordon. Since my father’s health started to decline, Gordon has never left Da’s side. He didn’t want my father to step back from the business, and he’s never accepted me as the boss. I know he believes that he should’ve been put in charge while my father is ill and is angry that Da chose me.
I always feel that Gordon is watching me, judging me. He’s the type of man who believes women should be pregnant and preparing meals in the kitchen, rather than running around with a gun and in charge.
“Where ye been?” Gordon asks as he steps aside to let me into the house.
Frustration blooms in my gut, but I don’t snap at him. The last time I did, I learnt he doesn’t take kindly to women standing up for themselves.
“Out,” I tell him simply.
I make my way into the kitchen, and he follows close behind. The house isn’t nearly big enough as far as I’m concerned. If it was, I’d be able to escape his beady fucking eyes. Those black orbs probe into me, trying to break the shield I’ve surrounded myself with.
“You know the business needs a man with a level head. Someone like me.” His reminder that he wants to take over is clear. He may not come right out and demand it, but I know that’s what he wants.
I fill the kettle with water and click it on to boil. If I could throw the scalding liquid in Gordon’s face, I would. But I know it would bring hell down on me, and that’s the last thing I want.
“If you’d bring me the information I asked you to find, it would give me more confidence in your abilities,” I throw back as anger takes a hold of me.
I’m still shaken from seeing Hadrian. If he’s back, then I’m sure his brother is too. My father hired the twins to collect for him, and they were good at what they did. Hades loved it, but Hadrian always had guilt and regret dancing in his eyes.
The twins were the most popular young men in South Shields, maybe even Newcastle, when they first moved up. Everyone knew and respected Hadrian and Hades. It was as if they had magnets attached. Girls wanted to be with them, and lads wanted to be them.
“I hear there are some people looking for your father,” Gordon says then, and I halt all movement.
Gordon hasn’t replied to my query about his investigation, but he’s clearly heard about the twins being back in town.
Shit.
I was hoping to keep it a secret from him, but I should’ve known it wouldn’t be long before he found out.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I say as I pour the hot water into a mug and stir in the shitty coffee granules.
“Don’t fucking lie to me, Harley,” Gordon grits, and without having to look at him, I can picture his teeth clenched and jaw ticking with annoyance.
Swallowing back my fear, I turn to face the bastard. “Like I said, I don’t know. Perhaps you should be more focused on your job than listening to rumours.”
He glares at me for a long moment before shaking his head. “I’ve looked into the so-called issues you brought to me, and we’re doing our job. Whatever is being stolen is being taken after the items leave our warehouses.”
He looks at me like he always does, as if I’m an idiot, but my gut is telling me Gordon is lying. If all this shite going down has been bad enough to bring Hadrian and his brother here, then it means there must be more to the story than Gordon is letting on.
“Whatever you say,” I throw back in frustration.
“Just watch what you tell people. We don’t want outsiders involved in our business.” He turns and leaves me in the kitchen, and when I glance down at my hands, they’re trembling.
Fuck .
I can’t afford to mess this up, and with Hadrian here, I know there’s a risk I’ll lose focus. He still holds my fucking heart.