Sixteen
Ava
The journey to the safe house was fraught and I thought we would never get there. We approached each bend in the road with a sickening speed. Kai attempted to get in touch with Cillian but it was radio silence.
At one point, Kai spoke angrily to a man called Henry, ordering him to stand down. Both Lester and Sean were also on their phones, Lester whilst he was driving which did not help the panic that tightened in my gut.
“Henry tried to reach out to Hamish,” Sean suddenly said. “But I couldn’t tell you whose side he’s on.”
“If we don’t know, we treat him like the enemy,” Kai said coldly.
I could see Kai was all business, attempting to contain the shit that was about to go down but I was plotting my own method of attack.
If Cillian killed Gerard before I arrived, I would be pissed, irrespective of him having done the deed for Suki. But I supposed that was better than allowing him to breathe one more fucking day. To see his dead body would be some compensation.
I wanted to see his face as the life force was drained from his body. At least, I thought I did, the closer we got, the sicker, I felt at the thought of being the one to pull the trigger.
If you are given that chance, you must do it. It’s the only way to get complete closure after what he did.
Could I do it, could I kill a man in cold blood? But is it cold blood after everything he did?
The car jerked again, pulling my head up. I shivered, feeling helpless and chilly which was odd considering I wore a hoodie and had a gun down my jeans.
Kai had no idea I was armed or of my true intentions if Gerard was still breathing.
What a fucking day.
That haunting truth that Gerard was still alive also made me feel that unless he was dead, I would never be safe. Not with his fucking moles around which Anton had mentioned Kai was aware of. If he lived, so did some of his minions. I was no longer worried for my life at Kai’s hands but whilst Gerard was alive, so were others that may want me dead. Especially if it ever came out to our wider audience about my involvement in bringing down the head of a Cartel.
I felt so confused. Being so close to Kai last night and now, he seemed even further away from me than before.
And it was all due to Gerard fucking Kinlan. That one name that kept coming back and tainting everything; eating away at people’s lives like the cancer that lived inside of him.
As we pulled through the security gates, the entire yard looked deserted, or so I thought. Then I saw the bodies. Two men were lying face down in the mud close to the door. Both of their heads had bullet holes in them. I turned away from the sight of blood matting their hair and shoulders.
“Shit,” I heard Kai mutter.
Lester drew the car up to the old farmhouse. It was surrounded by security fencing and looked more like a prison; run down and as depressing as fuck. Both Lester and Sean went to climb from the car but stopped as Kai instructed, “Check them for signs of life.”
“Boss.”
I slid across the seat, closer towards Kai as he was checking the bullets in his gun. Both Lester and Sean were doing the same outside the car. I left mine hidden, if Kai saw it, he would only take it off me.
A helicopter flew above us, making me gasp. The noise was so loud, it felt like it was almost on top of the car. It wasn’t though, it hovered and then flew slowly to the side, before setting down just outside the compound.
After checking the two dead men, Lester and Sean flanked the car on either side. I could hear the whirr from the propellers of the helicopter slowing down.
“What now?” I asked, my throat dry.
“We wait,” Kai said, casting me a look.
A jet of fear shot through me as two huge men and the one called Hamish came in through the open gates behind the car. Kai turned and watched them approach. Lester and Sean did the same with their guns drawn but not raised.
“What are they doing?” I asked, watching as the men joined in a huddle towards the side of the SUV and commenced their discussions.
“Please, what’s happening, Kai?” I questioned, staring out of the window.
Kai was interrupted from answering as his phone vibrated and he answered it. He spoke in a foreign language and I didn’t understand what he was saying.
I tried to take in some of the words. From his tone of voice, he wasn’t angry, if anything he sounded much calmer than before.
Glancing around, I tried to settle my nerves. The place was in the middle of nowhere surrounded by woods and fields. Ones that rolled for miles. No one would hear anything out there. What the fuck were we waiting for.
Kai ended the call and slid his phone away.
“What are we waiting for?” I repeated feeling the most stressed out I ever had. Kai was right. This wasn’t the life I wanted at all.
“Stay here,” Kai ordered. His deep voice was firm and brooked no further question. With my heart in my mouth, I was left alone as Kai climbed out of the car. I watched him through the rear window as he went to the boot and opened it. The black metal and parcel shelf cut off my view but as it lowered, I could see he held a black jacket.
As he slammed the boot, I turned to glance at the group of men, they were still in conversation. Kai joined them whilst shrugging into the tailored jacket, I noted how it concealed his weapon.
From the body language, Kai was poised for a fight. Regret pumped through me. Fuck Cillian, what if Kai got hurt?
After what felt like forever, Kai nodded towards the car and Lester returned, opened the driver's door, and slid inside.
And then, from the open doorway of the house, where the two dead men were, Cillian Connors appeared. My blood ran cold. He looked every bit the contracted hitman he was. That cold, ruthless killer. His eyes were on Kai and it felt like the car was spinning. If Cillian hurt Kai, it would be the end of me.
What have you done?
“What’s happening?” I coughed out, my hand itching to grab my weapon.
Kai was slowly walking over to Cillian. The two men started talking and from the looks of it was heated. Kai motioned toward the car a couple of times and Cill glanced over. The men with Hamish and Sean just stood, almost like they were awaiting instruction. No one was making any quick moves thank goodness.
“Lester?”
Clearing his throat, Lester started putting more bullets in his gun from the glove box before twisting toward me. His eyes remained in the direction of his boss but he answered my question.
“They’re negotiating,” he explained.
“For what?”
“The way forward,” Lester said.
Lester’s phone vibrated and he said something under his breath about Henry.
That name again. Who the fuck was Henry?
After what felt like forever, Kai approached the car, leaving Cill standing by the door to the farmhouse. My throat felt scratchy and the tough Ava from earlier started to fade.
Kai’s face was determined as he pulled open the door and extended his hand to me, “Come, Ava.”
Feeling sick to my stomach I placed my hand in his, Kai’s palm was so cold.
As I jumped to the ground, mud covered my sneakers and I realised how much I stood out. The big beefy men in suits, the helicopter, the criminal hideaway, what the fuck was I doing there?
As Kai led me towards the house, he gave each man watching us a nod. They in turn nodded back. It was almost like a sign of respect. I could feel Cillian’s eyes drilling into me as Kai led me through the doors. I didn’t maintain eye contact, not wanting to set him off again. For whatever reason, he appeared to have stood down. Either that or he had already shot Gerard and I was being taken to see the body.
“Kai,” I whispered. He held my hand but it didn’t feel affectionate, or caring at all. It was like the touch of a stranger.
“Please, just be quiet and don’t make any sudden moves. Everything will be alright. Just trust me, Ava,” he said. Thankfully his words warmed me and removed some of the worry I felt.
We headed down a long corridor with several doors on each side. It was cold and I could smell a mixture of firewood and coffee grounds. The wallpaper was peeling off the walls and there were damp stains on the ceiling.
Kai kept a tight grip on my hand.
And then we turned the corner and walked out into a warm room, decorated like a living room with a huge log-burning fire. It looked like it had been recently abandoned and I could smell the faint smell of a cigar.
Following Kai, he led us through that room and down another corridor with a metal door at the end.
There was a keycode and as Kai raised his hand towards the buttons, he stopped momentarily and lowered his hand. Turning to look down at me.
“Are you scared?” he asked.
I attempted to smile, “Terrified.”
“Good. You should be.” His tone of voice was still soft thank goodness. I imagine Kai blamed me for putting him in that position, so I wouldn’t have been shocked if he yelled at me. The fact that he didn’t was a colossal relief. “You're about to see Gerard. Just like you wanted. Are you sure you're ready?”
I took a huge gulp of air into my lungs. So, Kai had arranged for Cillian to stand down and I had my request. To be put face to face with the man who had wronged both me and my mother.
Shaking myself from that sudden numbness, I replied, “Yes.” My voice came out shaky and I hated how weak it sounded but Kai smiled.
The man I loved then leaned down and brushed his lips over mine. It was brief but oh so special.
“That’s my girl,” he whispered with pride.
Those words gave me an extra burst of strength. I needed to see it through and get the job done. And then another thought bled into me like a sliced artery. How would Kai react when I shot his father?
As Kai turned away and typed in the code to unlock the door, I felt beneath my hoodie, checking that the pistol was still there.
And then we walked into the room. It was smaller than the living space with no fireplace, but the room was decorated the same.
Two men were inside the room, soldiers from the looks of things.
“Henry, Sykes,” Kai said with a nod towards them.
“Sir,” one of them replied. The other's eyes just narrowed.
From his tone of voice, at least one of them was respectful but I could see from the tautness of both their shoulders that they were poised for action.
Stepping further into the room I felt someone at my back as Cillian, Sean and Hamish appeared. They all walked separate ways around the side of the room and then my eyes fell on him.
In the centre of the room, was a large coffee table with a sofa on the opposite side. And sitting there was a tired-looking old man.
Gerard Kinlan.
Fuck, this was it, my moment.
“Father,” Kai said as we walked further into the room.
Gerard looked up, his eyes narrowing as he took in his visitors and then he smiled when his gaze landed on me. It was twisted, his sluglike lips made me feel itchy all over; the memory of those hands on my skin.
“You wanted me to bring you the man who was responsible for sending you to prison,” Kai said, shifting beside me.
Fear scratched down my skin, like claws against my backbone. Oh my God, had I misjudged things? Why did it suddenly feel like I was being presented to his father, hand-delivered?
My heart was thudding against my chest as panic set in. Placing a hand to my throat I turned to Kai and looked into his eyes. They were warm and reassuring, he must have known that it looked like I was being brought before Gerard, like a lamb to the slaughter.
At that moment I realised that’s what Kai wanted them to believe. That was the reason we had been allowed inside. I remained silent, not knowing what to say.
Dropping my hand to my side, I glanced around the space. I could see Cillian, staring daggers at Gerard from his position by the window.
As I read the room, I noted where everyone was standing: Kai to my left, Cill by the window, Sean beside him, and Hamish on the opposite side of the room, close to Henry and the other soldier. Gerard remained seated.
He looked older and thinner. His hair was now fully grey but even though he wasn’t half the man he used to be his eyes still carried intelligence and power.
“What was that son,” Gerard questioned, lifting a handkerchief to his head.
Kai placed a hand on the small of my back, so close to the gun that I held my breath. He pushed me forward, closer to the coffee table. There was a machine on there and the wires dropped down the other side of the table, towards Gerard. Possibly a monitor of some kind?
“I said, I have found the one responsible for taking you down and here she is. The man who sent you to prison is a woman . Ava is the one who ratted you out. She single-handedly brought you to your knees. A seventeen-year-old girl.”
I watched as the realisation of what his son told him hit home. Gerard pushed to his feet, his entire haggard body soaring upwards, arms and legs shaking.
“You lie,” he bellowed.
“No, it’s not a lie. But everything that you led your family to believe about you was.”
Autopilot kicked in as Kai moved to the side of me, his attention on his father.
Gerard started ranting but I couldn’t understand him. Kai growled back, his words dripping with menace. Henry and the other man exchanged a ‘what the fuck do we do’ look and I thought one of them was going to reach for his gun.
And then the shit hit the fan as I stepped towards him, twisting my body, and shoving my hand under my hoodie. My fingers found the gun immediately and I drew it out and aimed it at Gerard. He was speaking in the same language I’d heard Kai speak earlier. Irish?
Huffs and shouts echoed around the room and I heard the rustle and click of weapons as they were drawn.
“Everyone, keep their shit together,” Kai barked, his own gun drawn.
Under any normal circumstances, it would have been funny; borderline ridiculous. Gerard was still standing by his chair, waving his arms in the air, I heard him say bitch a couple of times and then my mother's name.
Cillian’s gun was aimed at Gerard, Kai’s in the direction of his two men and Sean had his pistol drawn on Hamish. So, he was a snake, a mole.
And of course, all Gerard’s men were aiming at me, and my gun was trained on their boss. The big chief. Or the man standing where the big chief once stood.
Now he was nothing . I could see how the cancer had aged him. How the way he held his body suggested pain, but it wasn’t enough.
My hand was steady as I took another step forward. This encouraged Kai to hiss, “Nobody is to do anything unless I order it. Lower your fucking weapons now.”
I had never heard that tone to his voice and it was terrifying. It caused my hand to shake and I glanced at my fingers, before lifting my gaze back to Gerard.
“Ungrateful bitch,” Gerard said, spit dripping down his chin. I glared my hate, the force of his words hitting me like I’d just been backhanded.
Taking a deep breath, I growled in disgust and opened my mouth to scream at him but Kai stepped towards me shouting at his father, “I would keep quiet Da, unless you want a bullet between the eyes.”
They then spoke in Irish again and Gerard barked out the order for his men to lower their weapons, which they did. Kai’s followed suit.
The only person holding a gun was me and the fact that I held all the power had the opposite effect.
My legs turned to jelly and my entire body started to shake.
“You, filthy little slut,” the dirty bastard growled and the tears I had been holding back started to fall.
Everything he had done in the past came rushing back.
From somewhere close beside me, I heard Kai’s calm voice, “Don’t do it, Ava, he’s not worth it.”
My words left my mouth like I had no control over them, my voice garbled and raw. I was surprised Kai understood me, “He’s evil, Kai. He deserves to die.”
“You may be right about that, but you don’t want to be the one to pull the trigger, Ava. Believe me.”
I flashed him an angry look, “Don’t tell me what I want Kai!”
“Please, Ava. You said you wanted out. Remember, you want no part of this life. Killing a man isn’t the way to get out, quite the opposite. It will only draw you in further.”
“Yes, it is; once he’s gone, it will be over.”
“But you’ll have his death on your conscience forever . Do you understand what that means? Taking a life never leaves you. You kill him now, that’s on you, for the rest of your life.”
“It will be worth it.”
“You’re wrong, he isn’t worth it. He’s finished, Ava. He’ll live the rest of his life in the middle of nowhere as the cancer that he’s riddled with eats away at his body. Surely that is punishment enough for what he’s done.”
“Stay back Kai, I don’t want to shoot him before I’m ready.”
“He’s a dead man anyway. You do this, you will never be free of him.”
A huge sob left my chest as I realised, he was right. The thought of squeezing the trigger and seeing a bullet enter a man’s skin at close range made me feel sick.
If Gerard were to die at my hand, I knew I would never be free, just like Kai said. But Gerard would be. In a strange twist of fate, if I were to end his life there and then, it would put him out of his misery. No longer would he suffer daily from the cancer which was so apparent in his body.
As my hand shook uncontrollably, I lowered the weapon as Gerard roared, his entire body shaking with fury. Kai caught my wrist and took the gun off me. I felt defeated, and my limbs felt like they were tied together with pieces of string.
My shoulders slumped, and I was only just aware that other men had entered the room from a door behind Henry and his colleague.
Lester and the men from the helicopter had guns pointing at the heads of Gerard’s men.
“About time,” I heard Sean grumble from his location.
Kai and his men now had complete control of the room and from the expression on Gerard’s face. He knew he was beaten.
“You, filthy whore,” he spat at me, the table between us pushed into my legs as he moved. “Just like your mother.”
A second wave of fury lit me up but before I could react, I saw Cillian take a step forward from the corner of my eye just as Kai lunged.
The sound of Kai’s fist as it rammed into his father’s face should have given me some comfort but it didn’t.
Kai had punched his father so hard, that his nose must have broken, blood oozed down his face as he fell back onto the sofa.
“Watch your mouth,” Kai growled, his body shaking as he glared down at the man he used to call father. Someone he thought he could respect.
Turning me to face him, Kai placed his hand under my chin and said, “Look at me, Ava. Not at the blood, OK.”
And that is when I realised that it hadn’t bothered me. I pulled my chin out of his hand and stared down a Gerard Kinlan. He was holding his face, his eyes watering down his cheeks. A broken man, at last.
And I felt nothing. No distress by the crimson mass that bubbled down his nostrils, no happiness or sadness and no sense of justice.
Just numb.
The next few minutes seemed to go in slow motion. Lester and Sean, directed Hamish and the two other men out the backway they had come in. That left just, Gerard, myself, Kai, and Cillian in the room.
As his father gripped his nose, his son leaned over him. Then Kai said those final words, “You are dead to me.” His voice was firm, revealing no cracks of emotion.
Gerard started to say something, again in that language so very different to my own.
As Kai tucked me into his side, I saw him exchange a look with Cillian.
I couldn’t be certain, but I thought I saw, Kai gave one single nod towards his man. Like they had a secret understanding.
As Kai led me from the room, holding me close, my tired body, aching. My limbs burning. When we got to the end of the corridor, he turned me in his arms.
Drawing my face up to his, Kai lowered his forehead onto mine, as he had done in his office.
“It’s over.”
And almost as if on cue. I heard one single gunshot coming from the room we had just left.
A thick silence fell between us.
Kai was right, it was finally over.
Gerard Kinlan was dead.