Chapter 16
Felix
Father closes the distance between us, and I back up and bump against the door behind me. He switches on the light in the foyer, revealing his red face and a sneer that makes my skin crawl.
Fuck, he’s been drinking.
I can always tell when he’s drunk. His face gets all blotchy and sweaty. He looks like a greased-up pig about to be roasted.
“You didn’t answer my question.” He leans a hand against the door to prevent me from running the hell out of here. I’ve learned that the best thing to do is to provide short, neutral answers to his questions and get away as quickly as possible.
“I was out with friends,” I reply.
He scoffs at that and slurs, “I didn’t think you had any friends in Belmont.”
My cheeks are inflamed. No, I don’t have any friends in Belmont and never did. A fact he likes to rub in my face when he needs to belittle someone to make himself feel bigger. “I have a few.”
“Really? You certainly didn’t have any at Collegiate. Where did you meet these new bosom buddies of yours?”
Collegiate is where I went to high school.
It’s a private high school designed to train the children of assholes how to be even bigger assholes.
“These were friends from Cornell. They’re in town and wanted to visit me.
I’m really tired, Father. I’m going to go to bed.
” I try to walk past him, but his arm juts out, stopping me from passing.
“What are their names?” he asked.
“Who?”
“The friends, you idiot. What are their names?”
Take a deep breath, Felix. He wants to fight. “Dustin and Sam. They were on my floor—good friends. I might room with them next year. Anyway, I’d really like to go to—”
“Are you taking your medication?” he asks.
The shift in conversation catches me off guard. “What? Of course I am.”
“Really?” His voice is too loud. Something is going on, and I’m terrified he knows something. “You sure seem active for someone who’s adjusting to major medication. I thought you’d be less chipper.”
Is this really happening? Is he interrogating me about my chipperness? “Do you want me to be sad and depressed?”
“I just think it’s unusual to be so active. The doctor said you’d be extremely lethargic for a solid few weeks, but that never seemed to happen.”
“Well, maybe I metabolize pills quickly.”
“Or maybe you’re not taking them.”
Too much has happened this evening, and I’m starting to lose my composure. “Is this really necessary? Are you honestly interrogating me about this because I went out to see some friends? Don’t you want me to go out?”
“If you’re so goddamned social, why couldn’t you go back to Cornell? Why did you make a ridiculous spectacle of yourself by digging a hole in the backyard? A spectacle that the media could have gotten hold of.”
I can’t take it anymore. “Oh, fuck the media! Mother killed herself—I was losing my mind, you asshole!”
The backhand to the face comes fast and hard. It throws me against the wall, and I sink to the floor, cradling my cheek in my hand.
“Don’t ever speak to me like that again.” He turns to walk away, but before he ascends the stairs, he turns back to me and says, “Take. Your. Pills.”
I let myself sit on the floor for a bit as I rub my cheek. I won’t cry. I’ll never shed a tear for that man. He doesn’t deserve a single ounce of my emotion.
This is it—the last straw. I’ll save up some money and run away. By the end of the month, I’ll hopefully have enough that I can get a place in the Patch.
Maybe Torren will be speaking to me by then.
Torren
Felix slid a note under the shop’s front entrance asking me to meet him at the Kitty Cat Club.
My conscience won’t let me refuse. I know in my heart I should talk to him and apologize. I knock on the door, and Mac greets me. He tells me where Felix is.
The dungeon. Great.
Last place I want to have a conversation with him, but I know I won’t do anything. Not this time.
I make my way downstairs to see the twins laughing and carrying on at the check-in.
Rules are no clothes in the dungeon, but I’m hoping I can be excused from that requirement for the evening.
Then I see him out of the corner of my eye.
“Felix.”
He laughs and vanishes into the maze.
Damnit.
I run after him, and the maze is packed—bodies everywhere, writhing in ecstasy on the floor, the sound of panting and moans filling the space.
Felix leans against a wall at the end of a long stretch, curling his finger in an inviting beckon.
“Felix. This isn’t funny. You shouldn’t—“
He runs, and I curse, sprinting through the maze to catch up to him.
With each turn, I see him for a second before he disappears around another corner.
I pick up speed, running as fast as I can.
There are more people than I’ve ever seen in the maze, all of them fucking.
Some are on the floor, others are being pounded against a wall.
Felix sprints around another corner, a red light shimmering where he went, and I bolt.
When I round the corner, the lights shift from red to blue, and I stop.
Blue?
We don’t have blue lights here. The Kays used blue lights in the cellar, and we don’t—
I look around.
I’m in the cellar. The Kays’ cellar. I panic, my breath growing short and my heart pounding. I turn to run up the stairs, but the door to the kitchen slams shut in my face.
Locked.
Fuck!
The lights change again, bright and blinding. I rub my eyes, hoping they’ll adjust, but when I open them, I hear Felix.
“Torren! Help me!”
“Felix!”
I run down the stairs, and when I get to the bottom, I see the pleather bed we had to use and—
He’s there. He’s on the bed, covered in blood.
I run to him, but they’re here too. The men. The men we—
Their bodies are strewn about the floor, reaching out to me, hacked up and bloody. Hands grab my thighs and ankles. They pull me to the floor, rubbing and clawing at me.
“Let me go!”
Felix is on the bed, and he’s hurt. I need to help him!
“Felix! Felix!”
I wake up with a scream, crying and calling out for Felix. I look around, bracing myself for a fight with the men, but—
I’m not there. I’m in my room.
I stop. Sweat pours down my back, and my chest heaves.
Fuck me.
I calm myself down and make my way to the bathroom. My face is hot, so I turn on the cold water and scrub my face. The cool water feels good for a moment, but then I look at my reflection.
Is this the rest of my life?
The tears fall, big heaping droplets, and I collapse to the floor.
When will it stop?