Chapter 1
CHAPTER 1
KARIMA
THREE MONTHS LATER…
T oday was the day. I glanced at my growing pudge and knew that I had to enlighten everyone. I couldn’t continue wearing baggy pants or oversized shirts. My normal jeans were too tight. I was trembling as I thought about how I would talk to them all at once at the family barn. Aunt Jen and Aunt Chrissy were cooking a big goulash for us to enjoy during the family meeting.
After finding out I was pregnant, I withdrew from school and resigned from my position at work. Just knowing I would see Rhodes there prompted me to do that shit by phone. I headed home the next week and paid movers to get my shit home. The hardest part of the transition was pretending that nothing was wrong in front of my family. I simply told them all I was homesick.
That wasn’t a lie. I was definitely missing them all, but it wasn’t the sole reason for me moving back. My sister-in-law Cassie was pregnant, and Jacob’s new wife, Mekayla, was also pregnant. Yendi, Jakari’s wife, was threatening to go into labor at any moment. I wouldn’t be alone in this journey, that was for sure. I was probably just as far along as Mekayla… or further. I believed she’d said she was twelve weeks.
Aunt Tiff had been my confidant this whole time. She couldn’t believe Rhodes had done that. The whole family didn’t know him, but because I spent a lot of time training with Aunt Tiff and Milana, they knew who he was. Sometimes he would come out to my practices and watch me run those barrels. He said it was interesting to him. He would be out there for hours with us, just watching and talking to me during my breaks.
I closed my eyes for a moment and thought about what I was about to do until I heard the Lord speak. “Talk to your parents first.”
I nodded. He was definitely right. They deserved to know what was going on in private before I told anyone else. I grabbed my keys and headed to their house so I could catch them before they went to the barn. I called Aunt Tiff to ask her to meet me there, and she agreed. It wasn’t like we were that far apart. I lived in Henderson Village, barely a mile away from my parents’ home and right next door to my brother.
I noticed they weren’t home, so I hoped I didn’t miss them. When I got to their house, I noticed KJ’s vehicle in the driveway. Great. I supposed I would be telling my immediate family instead of just my parents. As I got out of my truck, Aunt Tiff pulled in the driveway. She hurriedly jumped out of her truck and met me.
She hugged me tightly. “I’m proud of you. I’m so happy you’ve taken the time to heal. You know how us Hendersons are. Had you been on go, we would have all been on go. That day you called me from Nashville, I knew you were at that point.”
“Thanks, Aunt Tiff. Let’s get this over with.”
I took a deep breath and made my way to the back door. Before I could walk in, King was walking out. “What’s up, sis? You good?”
“Hey, Kingsley. Can you come back inside?”
His eyebrows lifted. He and Kane could peep shit when it didn’t look like there was any to peep. He nodded then followed us into the house. He said in a low voice, “Your revelation won’t change nothing. You still gon’ be that voice of reason for me. I’m sure it will be the same for everyone else as well.”
I nearly collapsed in his arms. He held me tightly. I didn’t know how he knew how I was feeling, but he did. Daddy had passed down that intuition to us like it was his fortune. Technically, I guess it was. His intuition was on point, even when it came to that bitch he procreated with. He knew she wasn’t shit.
“Shhh,” he said. “Come on.”
I stood up straight to see Kane watching us. I went to him and hugged him. “How you doing, baby bruh?”
“I’m good. I have a feeling you aren’t, though, and I don’t like that shit one bit.”
“Chill out, man,” King said.
They stared at each other for a moment as I asked, “Where’s Mama and Daddy?”
“They’re on the couch talking to KJ and Cassie.”
I nodded as Aunt Tiff rested her hand on my back, urging me forward. I took a deep breath and made my way to the family room. “Hey, y’all,” I said.
My parents turned in their seats, and Mama smiled big as she said, “Hey, Rima. All my babies are here at the same time today. That has been rare for a while.”
I smiled as I made my way to her to hug her. The minute I let her go, my daddy was staring at me like he knew something. He bit his bottom lip and extended his arms. I fell into them, similar to the way I did Kingsley earlier. They knew how to pull the emotions out of me. Kendrall stood with a frown on his face.
“What’s going on, Rima?” he asked.
I pulled away from Daddy and went to him and hugged him. After watching Aunt Tiff greet everyone, I cleared my throat and took a deep breath. Aunt Tiff stood next to me, rubbing my back. King was staring at me and nodding, silently encouraging me.
“My move back to Nome was prompted by more than me just being homesick. I didn’t want to be out there alone… without my family, when I found out I was pregnant. I’m about fourteen weeks, and I’ve been trying to heal myself before speaking about it. I’m finally at the point where I’ve become accepting of the life growing inside of me.”
Everyone was silent. They looked stunned for a moment. Apparently, my dad didn’t know. He probably just knew that something was wrong but didn’t know specifics. After a few more seconds, he pulled me back in his arms. “It’s okay, baby. We gon’ help you through this. Congratulations.”
I nodded as I rested my head against his chest. My mama was standing there, rubbing my back. Finally, my brothers made their way to us. The question I’d been waiting for finally was verbalized.
“Who’s the father, and why isn’t he here with you?” KJ asked.
I pulled away from Daddy and said softly, “Rhodes. I was angry when I found out and blocked him from my life.”
“Rhodes? Your friend from high school? He was in Nashville? Why you block him?”
“Yes, to your first two questions. Kendrall, I don’t want y’all to hate him, because I’m no longer angry. I’m going to contact him eventually. I won’t keep his baby from him. We were establishing something out there. He told me he loved me. I fell in love with him too. It wasn’t hard to do. He was so good to me. The day I planned to tell him, I found a bunch of unused condoms behind my bed. He got me pregnant on purpose.”
“What the fuck?” Kane said.
“I now know why. His reasoning is all messed up, but I can finally understand it. All this time, he’s wanted more with me. I friend zoned him because I thought he was a thug. He was cool as a friend, but he seemed a little too street for me. I kept pushing him away. He’d been telling me he loved me for over a month, and I hadn’t said it back. I felt like he was acting out of desperation… to be sure I would always be in his life.”
KJ slid his hand down his face and walked off for a moment. I continued anyway. “God told me He was my one, and I let my guard down. I’ve been struggling the past three months, wondering why God would allow this to happen. I don’t know if He’s testing me or what. I know it was His voice. I can tell by the feeling it gives me when He reveals something to me. I just don’t understand, and I’ve been seeking clarity from Him all this time, only to still be as confused as I was three months ago when I found out.”
“He’ll reveal it to you in His time, baby,” my mama said.
She hugged me tightly. “So we’re gonna be grandparents times two, huh? You and Cassie are probably around the same gestation time. Am I right, Kendrall?”
Once again, KJ slid his hand down his face and said, “Yeah. Cassie is sixteen weeks, actually.”
Making his way to me, he pulled me into his arms. Kendrall was always my protector. I knew he was angry. When he released me, I said, “It’s okay, Kendrall. You don’t have to be angry. I was, too, at first, so I totally understand. However, I’m a grown woman. At least I have the means to take care of a baby, and so does he.”
He nodded. “You need to call his ass so he can accept his responsibilities.”
“It’s not his decision why he hasn’t. He wants a baby, and he wants me,” I said softly. “I wasn’t ready, and again, I was angry. I pulled my gun on him and threatened to call the police if he didn’t leave me alone. I’m so ashamed to even tell y’all that. I’ve always been the levelheaded one. My Henderson side emerged. I honestly feel like he’s giving me time to cool off. He knows me well and definitely knows how to find me.”
“If he finds you, what are you going to do?” my mama asked.
I turned to her and lowered my head. “Give him the need to know about the baby. I no longer trust him. I’m not saying I won’t ever give him another chance, but it will be much harder this time around.”
She gave me a tight smile as Kingsley put his arm around me. “Well, I wanna be the godfather. That’s the closest I’m gon’ get to having kids. After watching JJ, I wanted to go to a doctor and have him snatch my ball sac clean off.”
I nearly choked. King was an entire fool for that one. My mama hollered with laughter, causing all of us to laugh at his crazy tail.
“Nigga, you asked to be the godfather of our baby too!” KJ said through his laughter.
“Hell yeah. If y’all have bad kids, I can bring them home. I have a feeling if I was to ever have kids, they gon’ be the spawn of Satan since I’m so laid-back.”
“First of all, you didn’t become laid-back until you were a teenager. Your ass was a handful because you were so spoiled,” Mama said.
We all glanced at Daddy to see him look away for a moment and smile slightly. It was no secret why Kingsley was so spoiled. We gave him all the love he deserved plus the love Kendrick deserved too. Kingsley was born less than two years after his death. While we knew he could never replace such a beautiful little angel, we loved on him even harder. Life was a vapor, and it wasn’t promised to anyone.
I supposed we were all emotionally overwhelmed, especially since King looked just like he did as a baby. He completely changed as he got older though. Of all of us, he looked the most like Mama. He was a darker complexion too. However, he was the craziest too. That nigga would jump in a damn canal to catch an alligator. He could miss me on that.
“Well, me being spoiled clearly wasn’t my fault. I was a product of my environment, especially when I was with my big sister.”
He kissed my head as I shook it slowly. He was right though. I spoiled the hell out of him. Whenever I was missing Kendrick, I would go to his room and love on him. It didn’t help that he slept in Kendrick’s old room. That would make me even more sensitive. I clung to him because I was scared he would die like Kendrick. I was only eight or nine when he was born. Kendrick died a couple of months or so before my eighth birthday.
“Yeah, yeah,” Daddy said as he stared at me. “I just can’t believe my baby girl is going to be a mother. Fuck the details. The main point is that a baby is coming. Have you been sick or anything?”
I smiled softly. “No, sir. Never had morning sickness, thank God.”
“Any cravings?” my mama asked.
Before I could respond, Aunt Tiff said, “Hell yeah. Gumbo.”
Everyone laughed. I’d nearly forgotten she was here. That was rare that Aunt Tiff was quiet enough to be overlooked. My mama laughed, but I could see the hurt in her eyes when she realized Aunt Tiff knew before them.
She knew how close I was to Aunt Tiff, but to smooth things over, I said, “I’m sorry Aunt Tiff knew before y’all. I wasn’t ready to be the tender-hearted daughter you know. I was feeling extremely hostile, and I surely would have disappointed the two of you if you would have heard the things that fell from my lips. I knew she wouldn’t tell a soul. I really needed the support.”
“I understand, baby,” Mama said. “I’m just glad you had someone to lean on these past few months. Thank you, Tiff, for taking care of our baby.”
“For future references, I wouldn’t have been disappointed. I’m your father, and I know you’re a Henderson. It was bound to come out at some point. You don’t ever have to be afraid to talk to us. You know we always got your back, through the good and the bad.”
I lowered my head, and he said, “Naw. Hold your head up. You have nothing to be embarrassed about. I thought you were depressed about giving up on being in Nashville. I figured that was why you were wearing the big clothes. I could see you trying to socialize your way out of it, so I was going to let you work through it on your own until I thought you were really struggling.”
I went to him and hugged him tightly. My daddy was always the standard. I didn’t know why I was embarrassed to tell him. It wasn’t like I was in high school. I was twenty-nine years old. After taking a deep breath, I let him go.
“Since we have the meeting this evening and Jen is cooking, we’ll save the gumbo for tomorrow,” he said to my mama.
I smiled big as Aunt Tiff rolled her eyes. It was my time to be spoiled, and I was going to take full advantage.