Chapter 17
Shannon
Jace was struggling. I knew by how quiet he’d been back in the house. Hearing all those people speak about Cai was hard for him, but I didn’t realise he’d been this close to his breaking point. I held him for long minutes, feeling his tears wet my shoulder as he sank into my arms.
He gripped me tightly, like I was a lifeline, his strong arms banding around my waist and fisting my top.
He buried his face in my neck, and I realised how glad I was to be here for him.
Tingles danced along my spine when he breathed in, as though my smell could ground him.
I thought about last night, how the wine combined with my exhaustion had made me loose lipped.
I remembered every second of our conversation, how mortified I was this morning when I’d woken up and relived it all.
But Jace had let it pass without repeating the embarrassing things I’d said, which only made me love him more.
God, I was in love with him. I mean, I’d always known I still loved him, even after all he’d put me through, but I’d managed to dull the emotion with distance.
Now I was seeing him all the time, witnessing how much he’d changed and how hard he was trying to do better for Zara and me.
I couldn’t help falling a little deeper each day.
His spicy scent filled my nose, and desire stirred in me.
I felt guilty for wanting him this badly when he was upset, forcing down my need until it was a small, containable thing.
When his breathing evened out, I pulled back just a little to take him in. I’d seen him upset like this back when Cai first passed, but he’d been so put together lately that I’d almost forgotten how bad the loss of his bandmate had hit him.
“Your parents offered to take Zara tonight. Why don’t we go to the cinema and see that new movie everyone’s been talking about? Or better yet, we can go back to my place, order some food, and watch Red Dwarf until we can quote each episode line for line.”
Jace gave a tired smile, then tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, causing a small tremble. “You always have the best ideas.”
I watched as he lifted himself back to standing, offering his hand to pull me up.
I took it, and then we stood facing one another.
Jace straightened his shoulders and took a deep breath.
When he exhaled, I saw his strength return, like a battery visibly recharging.
Had I helped? He held out his arm, and I reached for it, letting him lead us back inside the house.
He went to speak with Cai’s parents again, then mingled with the other guests, sharing memories of his friend and letting others share theirs.
When it was time to leave, Jay drove us home.
Zara was excited to spend Saturday night with her grandparents, probably because they always spoiled her rotten.
I didn’t mind on this occasion and was happy for Zara to have some quality time with Jay and Matilda.
It gave me the opportunity to make sure Jace was all right, that he hadn’t gone back to that dark place in his mind, the one he’d been in after Cai died.
I was also grappling with my own feelings.
Seeing him today, how he’d almost broke but then managed to pull through.
It had all sorts of emotions, old and new, stirring within me.
Things were different now because before, Jace wouldn’t have pulled through.
He would’ve let his inner turmoil consume him before seeking oblivion in his addiction.
The way he’d acted showed me he’d developed new coping mechanisms, that he was stronger than before.
I opened my front door and let us inside. Jace followed close behind me, and by the time we reached my kitchen I couldn’t take it anymore. I stood by the counter, gripping the edge tightly before I turned and faced him.
“Shannon?” Jace asked, seeming to notice my tenseness.
I need you. I caught the words before they escaped. Jace was in a vulnerable place today, and he didn’t need me taking advantage of him. Instead, I went and grabbed some menus from the cupboard.
“What do you want to eat?”
I spread the menus out on the counter, and Jace approached, his warmth hitting my side. I ignored the goosepimples covering my arms and neck.
“Hmm, let’s see.”
He picked up a menu, scanning the options, and I took the opportunity to get myself under control. When we’d each decided what we wanted, I put the order in, while Jace went to turn on the TV and line up the next episode on the DVD player. Yes, I was that big a fan that I had every season on DVD.
After changing into some comfortable lounge clothes, I returned to the living room and found Jace seated on the couch, his tie loosened and his shoes off. I took the space next to him, keeping some distance between us.
“Food should be here in about half an hour.”
“Sounds good.”
I couldn’t stop staring at his profile, in particular his jawline.
I wanted to run my fingers over it, then down his corded neck and firm shoulders.
I had it bad. Jace said he was going to prove himself to me, and it was working.
I already couldn’t imagine going back to our old arrangement.
In the last few weeks, he’d made himself indispensable.
We made short work of the Chinese food when it arrived, then settled back in for more episodes.
I wasn’t sure how it happened, but we gravitated towards one another until I was snuggled into him, my head resting on his shoulder with a blanket pulled over us.
The episode we were watching came to an end, and my breath quickened when he peered down at me, his smile tender as he brushed some hair away from my face.
“Do you want to watch another, or are you too tired?”
“I’m not too tired, although someone needs to get up and change the disc.”
“But I’m comfortable right here,” he replied, his gaze soft. “Why couldn’t you be a normal person and watch your shows on a streaming service?”
“Because I already own the entire DVD collection, so why should I pay twice?”
A fond look came over him. “Remember when you found Season One in that old charity shop and bought it on a whim because you thought the cover looked cool?”
I laughed at the memory. “Right, who knew that random purchase would lead to a lifelong obsession.”
His lips twitched in a smile. “When you used to come over to my house to watch episodes, those were my favourite times.”
His eyes found mine, an intensity in them I wasn’t expecting. Jace was so close, our sides pressed together, his heat seeping into me. A long moment passed during which my entire body came alive with need. Kiss him, my heart urged.
“Fine, I’ll change it then—” Before he could move, I pounced on him, plastering my lips to his.
A gust of breath escaped him. Then, a deep, satisfied groan that travelled all the way down to my toes.
Suddenly, Jace was cupping my cheeks, his tongue sliding inside my mouth like it belonged there.
I inhaled sharply when his lip ring moved languidly against my lower lip, one hand going to the back of my neck, cupping possessively as he tipped my head back and deepened the kiss.
Moments later, my back hit the couch as he climbed over me.
I locked my legs around his waist, needing him closer.
I felt his hard length press into me before he broke the kiss, burying his face in my neck as he began kissing and suckling.
“Shannon,” he breathed in between kisses.
“Jace,” I responded, his name half gratitude, half plea.
I cupped his jaw and pulled him back to me, resuming the kiss when a loud vibration broke through the haze of our connection. His phone was ringing. I felt it buzzing through his pocket as his tongue danced sinfully along mine.
Quickly, he pulled it out and silenced it, but almost as soon as he did, it started ringing again.
“Bloody hell, Elias, it can’t be that serious,” he muttered.
Noting it was Elias gave me pause. I really didn’t want to stop kissing Jace, but the call could be important.
Elias hadn’t turned up to the memorial, and I remembered what I’d overheard last night, how he might owe money to some bad people.
Jace had just silenced the call again when I placed a hand to his chest.
“Maybe you should answer.” I was still breathless from his kisses.
Jace shook his head. “It’s just Elias.”
“Right, but he might be in trouble. He could need your help.”
“He probably just wants to harass me about writing new songs for the next album.”
“I don’t think it’s that,” I blurted, and Jace frowned.
“What aren’t you telling me?”
I hadn’t planned to tell Jace about what I’d overheard, instead intending to speak with Elias privately. But if something bad had happened, then Jace needed to know.
“I … I think Elias might be in debt. I overheard him on the phone last night pleading with someone for more time to pay back what he owes. Plus, he never showed at the memorial, and it’s not like him to miss something that important.”
Jace’s expression hardened, and then his phone started ringing again. This time, he answered with a gruff, “Elias, what is it?”
I couldn’t hear the reply, but Jace’s features grew tense before he said, “Okay. Try to calm down. I’ll be there soon.”
He hung up then let out a long sigh, rubbing at his temples as he explained, “He joined a private poker game at a casino in town last night. Obviously, he was trying to win back whatever money he owes. He wouldn’t say how much he lost, but the people organising the game won’t let him leave until he pays up.
He’s been stuck there all day. I’m going to have to try and plead his case. ”
“I’m coming with you,” I said.
“No, you should stay here. Isla’s parked outside. She’ll keep watch over the house.”
“Jace, I’m not letting you go to some shady casino on your own.”
“I’ll have Dixon—”