Chapter Nine #4
“Are my bags in the car? I don’t want to run into traffic this morning,” I quickly replied, hoping to avoid the conversation I knew he wanted to have.
I didn’t want to talk about it right now. Or ever. I knew I would get too emotional, and I didn’t need that at this moment. I refused to let him knock me off my square another morning. I had meetings today, and I needed to be focused.
“I don’t want to talk about the fucking bags, Tatiana.”
I spun around on my heels, keeping my posture straight and thoughts calm.
“And I don’t care to discuss whatever is swirling in your brain. Please make sure my car is ready to go, Mr. Kane.”
“Tat—”
“Mrs. Sterling,” I corrected him, then left out the kitchen.
I quickly ducked into one of the powder rooms and took a few deep breaths. This wasn’t my fault. Hell, I didn’t run away from him. He was the one who left me. So why did I feel so guilty?
After spending thirty minutes on my makeup, I made sure not to splash water on my face.
Staring into the mirror, I removed a stray hair from my face and pressed my hand to my chest while silently counting down from twenty.
Once my heart steadied, I walked out of the bathroom and headed toward the front.
As I came down the hall, Bloom shuffled down the stairs with a blanket wrapped around her shoulders, her hair matted to her head, and dried drool and last night’s makeup still on her face.
None of that mattered to Emilio, though, as he smiled at her. “Good morning, Bloom.”
She snapped out of her zombie-like trance and offered him a smile. “Too early to be speaking, Emmy.”
“Emilio, beloved,” he said, correcting her.
She yawned. “Too early to be getting names correct, too.”
I watched as she pulled the covers tighter around her arms and walked toward me.
“Safe drive into the city. Everything here is handled, so you don’t need to worry or call a million times.”
“Aja will be picking her up from school on Friday, so you have the weekend free,” I told her.
She shrugged while walking to the fridge. “Not like I have much of a life anyway. I’ll either be here or at my loft asleep.”
Once I gave Bloom the rundown again, I finally stepped out of the house and got into the black SUV that would take me to the city.
Ralph was back in his rightful place as my driver, and all was good in the world.
That was until the door on the opposite side of me opened, and Nazir stepped his tall ass into the back with me.
“Um, what are you doing?”
“Security, Mrs. Sterling,” he smartly replied as he checked his watch and nodded at Ralph to go.
As Ralph pulled out of the gates, I stared at Nazir as if he might suddenly jump out of the car.
I actually wished he would jump out while it was moving because I knew sitting in the car with him for an hour would be unbearable.
I rummaged through my purse and pulled out my headphones because the last thing I wanted was to hear the awkward silence between us.
He stared at me for a few moments, but when I didn’t make eye contact, he turned his attention out the window.
As soon as we hit the city, I was on the go with different meetings.
We were launching new products in the spa, and we wanted to ensure the formula remained clean, as Yaya had requested.
She was obsessed with having products that did more good than harm.
Everything, from the bottles to the formula, was green and clean.
The bottles were made of recycled glass, and we always encouraged people on our social media platforms to reuse the glass from our products.
Yaya had suggested offering refillable options so the bottles could be used more than once, which I thought was a great idea.
While it was nice having my best friend as both a business partner and my assistant, I had been telling Yaya to find her replacement for a year, but she refused.
She claimed no one could do what she does for me.
That may have been true, but I often felt guilty for relying so heavily on her.
Even with me tossing anything her way, she was capable of handling it because she always got it done.
Nazir had been with me the entire day, doing his job and offering no conversation. I appreciated that. I already had a lot that I was dealing with today and didn’t want him following me around and begging to have a conversation.
He held the door open as I entered what would become the second Hush location. Our realtor, who was currently out of town, had given us the code so we could tour the place.
“This is perfect. I feel so calm just walking into the space,” I said out loud, while Yaya followed behind me.
“I’m thinking we can add some walls there to block the view to the back. Being that this used to be a boutique hotel, we can utilize so much. The plunge pools can be down here on the main floor toward the back, and the infinity pool on the rooftop is perfect,” Yaya suggested.
Her excitement made me even more excited because I could see our vision right in front of us. It would take some time to get everything how we wanted it, but once everything was done, it would be perfect.
It also gave me an excuse to delay telling Karim’s mother and mine that I would be moving myself and Nazira to the city.
Nazira would adapt, and our family could always visit when they missed us.
It was only an hour away, not twenty. Being in the city had always made me feel alive, and I had stayed away for too long, only experiencing it in doses.
Losing Karim reminded me how short life is, and I refused to sit and not do what I wanted.
“We need to move fast and make an offer. Somebody will snatch this up quickly.”
“It’s a miracle he hasn’t received an offer yet,” Yaya said as she sat down on a piece of furniture left behind. “You think we can negotiate these chairs? They’re quite cute and expensive, too.”
When Nazir stepped outside to join the other security guard, I whispered to Yaya, “He found out about Nazira.”
“I’m not surprised,” she replied casually.
“Why do you say you’re not surprised?”
She crossed her legs. “Pictures didn’t do him justice. In person, I can see Nazira in him. That little grin she does? He does the same one–– been doing it all day whenever you walk into a room.”
“Really? Never mind.” I stopped myself from blushing.
Yaya laughed. “How did that conversation go?”
“What conversation?”
She stared at me, confused. “You didn’t have a conversation with him about it?”
I stood up and walked behind the front desk. “No.”
“Why not?”
“It was chaotic this morning, and I didn’t need to be in my feelings. Plus, I haven’t even fully processed how I feel my damn self, Yalina.”
Yaya held her hands up. “Relax. I’m just asking.”
“Do I even have to tell her? It’s one thing for us to know because we’re her parents. Does she really need to know?”
“Tatiana, she needs to know. As much as you don’t want to have this talk with her, this is also her life. You don’t have the right to keep that from her.”
“She’s too young to go through all of this,” I whined, stomping my feet.
Yaya’s phone rang, and she quickly silenced it. “I’m not in the mood to deal with her today.”
“What did she do now?”
“I’m tired of it always being the Sav show. Everyone’s wronged her, and she’s never at fault. Sick of hearing how I’m doing everything wrong.”
I noticed the worn expression cross my best friend’s face.
The only time I saw this expression was when she talked about Sav.
Yaya wasn’t happy with her before she was locked up, and now she was really miserable in their relationship.
Honestly, I never understood why she wanted to be with her.
Sav was unpleasant to be around––always suspicious, confrontational, and full of jealousy.
I always wondered how Yalina put up with her.
Stress clouded her eyes. “Your birthday is this weekend. It’s bad enough you’re forcing us to go on this business trip during it. Don’t let her ruin this week and weekend for you. Block her until next week.”
She looked up at me. “Do you know the hysteria it would cause with her? She’ll claim it was an emergency because I didn’t answer.”
I came from around the counter, gently took her phone, and silenced the incoming call. I then checked her call log, blocked the prison’s number, and returned the phone back to her.
“Sav’s emergency isn’t your emergency. I think you tell yourself that you’re going to break up when she comes home, but we both know you’re going to stay. Sav will convince you that she’s going to change, and you’ll stay where everything feels familiar.”
“Not you clocking my tea. You need to mind your business and worry about that fine-ass man you need to remember how to climb.”
I playfully shoved her and plopped down in the chair next to her while we laughed.
“Girl, those sweatpants had me forgetting why I was so angry with him.”
Yaya chuckled. “You used to take that, huh? I can see why you were so mad when you had to marry Karim.”
I burst into laughter. “Bitch, too damn soon.”
Yaya laughed. “All I’m saying is that we both find ourselves in situations. Yours isn’t as bad. If I were you, I’d be fucking the shit out of the ghost from my past. Would’ve jumped on him like, ‘Bust me down, baby!’”
“Yalina Blackwell!” I howled at her.
Just then, Nazir swaggered back through the door.
“Like the space?” he asked.
“It’s perfect,” Yaya replied.
“Seems nice.” He stood in front of us with his hands in his pockets. “Where to next?”
“This was the last thing on our jam-packed schedule. It wasn’t too bad, huh?” she joked with him.
He smirked. “Nah. Actually inspiring to see two women holding it down. I’m proud of you, Tata.”
Yaya raised her eyebrows. “Tata? Hmm.”
“Yalina, please,” I rolled my eyes and waved her off.
She laughed. “Anyway, I have some last-minute shopping to do, so me and Smoke will be going to do that.”
Jonah was serious about keeping us all safe.
Just like Nazira and I had our own guards, Yaya had the same.
He knew she was independent and wouldn’t want to stay at his house long-term, so he made sure she had her own protection.
Yaya was accustomed to doing everything herself, never relying on anyone to take care of her.
She was the person who took care of everyone.
“Yeah, you go and do that.”
She giggled as she stood up and kissed my cheek. “I’ll email the realtor tonight to let him know we want to move forward with making an offer. I’m sure we can get the price down some.”
I watched as she switched toward the door, her heels clicking loudly on the floor.
“Love you, Ya.”
“Love you, too. Call me later.”
“Will do.”
I stayed seated after she left and finally got the courage to look into Nazir’s eyes.
“Tata, we need to tal—”
Before he could finish, I hopped up and headed to the front desk to grab my purse. “As much as you want to sit and talk, I’m not there yet.”
“Not about where you are with us––it’s about my daughter.”
“You don’t know that she’s your daughter.”
He tilted his head, staring down into my eyes. “You gonna lie that easy?”
I swung my purse onto my arm and started walking toward the door. “Can we go?”
He nodded and caught up to step in front of me, pulling me behind him. Once we reached the car, he held the door open for me. I settled into the seat and closed my eyes.
Why me, Lord?