Chapter 10 Darius
Darius
Fuck!
Shit!
Turning from the bullet holes lining Tariq’s house, I catch her taillights disappearing around the corner.
The fact we’ve been shot at tonight has nothing on my rage more than having to send Amelia away.
This isn’t the first time we’ve been attacked, and it won’t be the last. It’s the way it is.
They attack, we retaliate, then they come for us again and so the circle goes around, never once breaking.
The terror on her face when she realised what was happening is burned into my mind. Punching the front of the house does little to relieve the fear of her coming so close to being hurt because she was with me. There’s no way I could live with myself if anything happened to her.
She thinks I ran out because I enjoy the fight, but she couldn’t be farther from the truth. I didn’t hesitate to run out to try and eliminate the threat to her. I wasn’t thinking of holding my own to keep me and my boys safe. It wasn’t about holding up our reputation. It was for her.
“If we hit them now, they won’t expect us so soon.”
Turning to Jermaine, I nod. They will pay for tonight. Tariq walks out with Clare under his arm.
Looking around, she asks, “Where’s Amelia?”
“I sent her home.” Is all I say, I’m not explaining myself to her. Focusing on Tariq, I instruct, “Round up three cars, load up, and be ready to go in ten minutes.”
“You’re not going to leave me here alone, are you?” Clare asks Tariq.
The moment his eyes cut to mine before settling on hers, is the moment I know he feels more for her than he lets on. He’s never put a chick before us before. And the fact he’s questioning himself now, is all I need to know to keep a closer eye on him from now on.
“You’ll be fine, or I could drop you at home?”
“No,” I interject. “We haven’t got time for that shit. She either stays or gets a cab.”
Walking down the steps, I lean against the wire fence. I hear them arguing and with one glare from me over my shoulder, he ushers her inside.
None of us have time for her shit tonight. This is business and business always comes first.
“It was wise to send Amelia home,” Jermaine says joining me.
“She shouldn’t have been here in the first place. I won’t make the same mistake again,” I vow.
“You like her.”
“It doesn’t matter, I won’t take any risks with her.”
It would be pure selfishness on my part to keep her around just for me, and while I’ve been known to be selfish, it’s not in me to be so with her.
“It’s a shame Tar don’t feel the same about that bitch… not saying Amelia’s a bitch,” he quickly adds when I glare his way.
“He likes her, he does shit his way and I do mine my way. If he believes he can protect her, that’s on him. We both know it’s hard enough protecting our own ass let alone someone else’s.”
“So you’re done with her?”
Swallowing thickly, I roll my neck. “It was never going to work anyway. Best to shut that shit down now.”
He lets me brush it off without arguing the point I’m lying through my fucking teeth.
The guys head out of the house and hang around waiting for instruction.
“Four up in each ride. We’ll hit them harder than ever. The first car shoots first. When they think it’s over and lower their guard, the second car rides up and attacks and then the third car. Get as many as you can, if not them all. You know the drill.”
“Everyone armed?” Jermaine grunts.
They all nod. Pulling Tariq aside before we get into the car, I ask, “Your girl ain’t gonna be a problem, is she?”
“Nah, I told her to relax and that this won’t take long.”
He doesn’t fill me with much hope. He climbs in the back, and I take the seat up front.
“Ready?” Jermaine asks.
Digging my gun out of my holster, I hold it in my lap.
“Fuck yeah.”
Sat in my car, waiting on a delivery of guns to replenish our stash after hitting the 2-Guns twice, my thumb hovers Amelia’s name on my phone.
She’s been burning up my phone for the last month.
The calls are coming in less, but her texts still come every day.
Coming out of my contacts and into my messages, I open her thread.
Call me.
I don’t understand why you’re ignoring me.
Please, just call me.
Fuck you, you’re a liar.
Her messages are now angrier and that’s good. It means she should give up soon. Closing the thread, I turn my phone off and slide it into my pocket.
I can’t let her into my head, not when I have to deal with a paranoid psycho selling enough weapons to put him away for life if caught.
“He’s late,” I mutter.
“He’ll be here, he’s probably circling the block making sure no one’s following him,” Jermaine explains but I already know it.
It’s always the same.
“You need to chill, this ain’t nothing out of the ordinary.”
“Who said I ain’t chill?”
“Me. Ever since you sent Amelia away, you’ve been on edge and it’s making everyone uneasy.”
Fuck everyone else. I’m not on edge. I’m pissed.
She was the one thing in my life that was for me.
I finally felt like I could have everything I’ve held back from.
She knew exactly who I was and didn’t ask me to change.
Sure she pulled back a few times but she always came back.
When she looked at me, she wanted me, needed me, all over her.
For some strange reason she saw past the gang colors and still wanted me.
Every night since the shooting, I’ve woken drenched in sweat from nightmares. Some nights she gets shot and bleeds out in my arms, other nights she’s shot in the head and just stands there staring at me with a trickle of blood running down her nose.
It’s a fear I can’t shake no matter how hard I try. I hit the weed harder and drink extra beers before bed, but it doesn’t help.
“If you want her, have her. I don’t see what the problem is? You’ve had girlfriends before, and it’s not bothered you when shit’s going down.”
“They weren’t her.”
“Fuck,” he drawls. “Do you love her?”
Thankfully a set of headlights shine over us, and I climb out of the car.
Paranoid Psycho Pete jumps down from his van and slams the door after him.
Jermaine follows me over to the back doors and as usual, Pete has eyes everywhere as he drags the three holdalls toward us. Jermaine unzips each of them and checks the contents before giving me the nod.
I hand over the cash and as soon as we’ve collected the haul, he’s slamming the doors and jumping back behind the wheel.
Rolling my eyes, I say, “You’d think he’d be a bit less paranoid, we’ve been dealing with him for the last year and a half and had no comeback.”
“Works for me. No chitchat and all that.”
Shoving the weapons in the trunk, Jermaine takes the long way back to Tariq’s and I fall onto the couch with a joint as the others hide the shooters in the walls around the house.
Clare slumps beside me and goes to swipe the joint from me.
“The fuck?”
“Come on, sharing is caring.”
Narrowing my eyes, I shuffle away from her.
“Like I care.”
“It’s obvious you don’t, Amelia hasn’t heard from you in weeks.”
“And this is your business how?”
“She’s my best friend,” she argues.
“You’re fucking my friend, yet you’re nothing to me. Stay out of it.”
Shrugging, she jumps up and disappears into the kitchen.
Let her annoy someone else. Leaning forward, I drop the half smoked joint in the ashtray and head out.
Stopping at the gate, I look up the street to my house and know if I go home now, all I’ll do is think of how I fucked up with Amelia.
Jumping in my car, I bring it to life and pull away.
Downtown is bustling with the dregs of society going about their dodgy dealings and I find myself driving toward Amelia’s side of the city.
I shouldn’t be here. Fuck knows why I am. But I carry on and park up across the street from her house.
Above the wall surrounding her property, I can just about see her window. The light’s off and I wonder if she’s sleeping.
Through Clare, I’ve learned she has plenty of friends from school, but she only hangs out with Clare. Personally, I’d choose plenty of other people over her. But if Amelia sees something in me worth getting to know and like, maybe she sees something in Clare that I don’t.
Light fills my car and I slink down in my seat as a blood red Porsche drives past me. Her gates open and she drives in. They close behind her, and I wonder where the fuck she’s been at this time of night. Turning the car on, I roll down the street and see her run into her house with a brown bag.
What the fuck is she up to? I burn to scale the wall and see for myself, but I don’t trust myself to be close to her and not do anything.
Heading back to the streets I’m all too familiar with, I park up outside my house and cut the engine.
Inside, everyone’s in bed and I use the bathroom before opening a beer from the fridge.
“Did mom tell you I have a school trip to the space museum?”
Over my shoulder, Connor stands in the kitchen doorway, and I nod, even though I haven’t heard shit about it.
“How much? I forgot,” I lie.
“Thirty bucks.”
Christ, these trips get more expensive. I never pull out the cash I have on me, I don’t want to see the stars in their eyes, thinking money is easy to come by in my world. I mean, it is, but the threat lingering around is never ending. It’s easy until there are bullets flying toward you.
“I’ll leave it on the table. Go on, you should get to bed, it’s late.”
As to prove my point, a yawn escapes him.
“I was waiting for you.”
Moving closer to him, I ruffle his hair and receive a punch to the gut in return.
“What have I told you about that?” I say.
“To not to.”
“So don’t.”
Some nights I crash at Tar’s and don’t make it home. I don’t want him or my brother waiting all night for me to walk through the door.
“Night, Dar.”
“Night.”
Before I leave the kitchen, I leave him enough for his trip and a little extra in case there’s a gift shop or some shit.
In my room, I undress and collapse on the bed. I’m glad Amelia never came in here, it’s bad enough holding the memories I do have of her, without having them in here.
Throwing my arm over my eyes, I think over the shipment of coke coming in at the end of the week until I fall asleep, dreading my dreams.