Chapter 21 Darius
Darius
Sitting forward, I watch her car pull away and rage boils inside me. Clare’s skanky ass bounds up the front path and with the click of her heels tapping the concrete, the urge to get in her face takes over.
She looks pissed, but I’m more than pissed with her right now.
“Where’s Tariq?” she snaps as she climbs the porch steps.
“I thought he was with you. Why was Amelia dropping you off?”
It was her first day at college today, that and her being pregnant, she would’ve been tired as fuck, she shouldn’t have been out driving at this time of night. Not for any reason.
“Your dick of a friend left me down in hobo central on my own. Amelia picked me up.”
I dig out my phone as she disappears inside the house. Tapping on Tariq’s number, he answers on the second ring.
“Where the fuck are you?” I snap.
He had one job to do tonight and that was to distribute to the dregs of the earth behind the rundown oil plant.
“I’m on my way back, ten minutes out.”
“Your girl just showed up, she isn’t happy.”
“How did she get there?”
“Amelia picked her up.”
“Shit, I’m sorry, Dar. I should’ve known she’d call her.”
“Yeah, well, if it happens again, I’m going to step in, you feel me?”
“I hear ya, I swear, it won’t happen again.”
Jermaine drops in the chair next to mine and I hang up on Tariq. Clenching the phone in my hand, I fail to understand how hard it is for him to get his shit together. He’s changing because of her and it’s becoming a liability.
“Why the fuck is she still around?” Jermaine asks.
“Fuck knows.”
“Can’t we make her disappear and let Tar think he lost her somewhere?”
Laughing, it feels fucking great to lose the edge I’ve been feeling lately. But it doesn’t last long.
“She keeps him occupied… for the most part. I want it known she’s not to drag Amelia over here again, though.”
“Done. I’ll make sure it sinks in.”
I nod and lean back in my seat. What a fucking night. What should’ve been a chilled one, has now brought everything to do with Amelia back up for me.
“You haven’t mentioned her much lately.”
“There’s nothing to say. The baby’s doing well, Amelia’s busy with her studies and I’m here.”
“And that’s still what you want?”
“It doesn’t matter what I want. It’s the way it’s gotta be.”
I can’t do this, not with him, or anyone. Instead, I say, “In future, I don’t want Clare going with Tar on drop-offs.”
“Done.”
“I don’t want her anywhere near Amelia.”
“Done.”
Relief surges through me and I nod slowly. I can always rely on Jermaine for anything. Tariq pulls up and the second he opens his door, the front door slams open and Clare storms down the front path. I kick back and get ready for the show.
“You fucking asshole!” she shrieks and everyone quietens.
“Fuck you, bitch,” Tariq spits through gritted teeth.
“Anything could’ve happened to me,” she screams shoving him in the chest.
“But it didn’t, did it.”
She shoves him again and he stumbles back. He quickly rights himself and lunges forward, getting in her face.
“Don’t act a bitch and I won’t treat you like one.”
“Fuck you!”
She slaps him around the face, and Jermaine and I fail to smother our laughter.
It’s cut short when his arm springs back and he backhands her.
His slap strikes her so hard she falls on her ass and I lose the amusement.
Jermaine is fully entertained. I don’t agree with hitting women, but I don’t put my ass in other people’s business.
She scrambles back and Tar’s face falls as he realises what he’s done.
“You… you hit me.”
The fact she’s surprised a man has raised his hand to her goes to show she isn’t from around here.
“Go stop that shit…”
Before I can finish she’s picking up the metal pipe off the sun-burnt lawn. She swings it, hitting Tariq dead in the arm, she goes for a second swing when I give the nod to Jermaine.
“Help him out, he can’t be getting his ass handed him to by a girl one-tenth of his size. Shit’s embarrassing.”
Jermaine hauls his ass off the porch, wraps an arm around the bitch’s waist and swings her away from Tariq.
“Let me go!” she shrieks as he drags her into the house.
“You see that shit?” Tar asks coming to sit next to me.
“I see you get what you deserve.” I snort. “What were you thinking laying your hands on a woman, even if she is a cunt.”
“Hey, she’s not a cunt.”
“No? Then why did you hit her like one?”
“I don’t like it when she’s screaming in my face, it… she sounds like my mom.”
His fuck ups always end up tracing back to her.
“Regardless, don’t be hitting a bitch in front of me again. We have enough shit to deal without trouble in our front yard.”
“Fair enough… I’ll keep it in the house.”
“How about you keep it away from me.”
“I can do that.”
He disappears into the house, and I wait long enough for Amelia to get home before calling. She must have her phone in hand because she answers on the third ring.
“I’m fine,” she says assuming I’m just calling to check in.
“It wasn’t why I was calling. I don’t want you running around after Clare, specially this late.”
“You think I wanted to drive all over the city, I wasn’t going to leave her in the middle of nowhere,” she snaps.
“Trust me, people like her always find a way. She would’ve been fine.”
“You don’t know that.”
Gripping the phone tighter, I try to keep my shit together.
“I do know she’s trouble and I do know I don’t want you anywhere near her. She’s no good.”
“Coming from the guy who runs the local gang.” She snorts, adding, “I doubt I’ll hear from her for a while anyway. Seriously, stop worrying.”
“Are you fucking with me? All I do is worry about you,” I grind out.
Fuck this. Hanging up on her, I dig out my car keys and drive over to her house. It doesn’t take me long to jump the wall, cross her lawn, and climb the trellis.
Yet again her window isn’t locked, and I climb in easy enough.
“I should’ve guessed you hung up because you were coming over.”
Sat on her bed, she’s surrounded by her schoolwork. Moving a couple of her textbooks, I sit.
“If you came all the way over here just to tell me to stay away from Clare, you needn’t have bothered. We haven’t exactly been tight over the last few months.”
“I came over because we need to straighten some shit out. Will you at least look at me?”
She puts down her highlighter and textbook and stares at me with such attitude, it should piss me off, but it doesn’t.
“Start straightening, I have a lot of work to get through.”
“First, I need you to hear me real clear, just because we aren’t together doesn’t mean I don’t get to worry about you.”
She climbs off the bed. If she thinks she gets to walk off, she’s fucking mistaken. Jumping up, I’m behind her in four strides and spinning her to face me.
“Stop being so childish. If I don’t want you driving through the dregs of society, then you won’t. Do you even know the kinda shit that happens by the old tracks? You’re lucky you were in and out and nothing happened.”
“Fine, I’ll watch where I go. Is that it?”
Frowning, I ask, “Can you not even have a conversation with me without giving me shit?”
“Every time I look at you, I remember what we had, and you may have known it wasn’t real, but I thought it was. It hurts to see you and not be with you.”
“Amelia…”
“Don’t. You don’t have to coddle me, trust me, I don’t want to feel anything for you, but with everything I have going on at the moment, it’s overwhelming.”
I reach out and hold the side of her face. Just as soft as I remember every night as I fall asleep thinking about her.
“This… us, it’s for the best.”
“Yeah,” she huffs. “It just doesn’t feel like it now.”
I burn to kiss her, to wrap her in my arms, and never let her go. She has me re-evaluating everything. If I change my mind, there’d be no going back, and deep down, I know it wouldn’t work and we’ll have to go through this hell all over again. I need to get back to why I hauled my ass over here.
“Clare isn’t the girl you knew. She’s an addict, she can’t see it herself yet, but everyone around her can. Addicts use people and they always put themselves first. She isn’t your friend anymore and the sooner you figure that out, the better. She’ll drag you down and I can’t have that.”
“Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why do you care if she drags me down? As long as the baby is looked after, why do you care about me considering I only see you when it’s about the baby.”
“Just stay away from her, Amelia. I won’t warn you again.”
“Oh, you won’t?” she snaps. “And what is it you’re exactly going to do if I don’t?”
She steps away but I match her steps, blocking her against the door. Bracing my arm above her head, she looks up at me and purses her lips together.
“I only have so much patience. I don’t advise pushing me further than you can handle.
I can’t have you, but it doesn’t mean I’m not around and I will make sure you steer clear of that fucking bitch.
She put herself in that situation tonight, she was dealing with Tariq.
She can’t even check in on you these days, you think she’d do the same for you? ”
She loses her fight, and her shoulders relax. She knows I’m right. I need her to see it.
“Like I said, I don’t even hear from her much anymore.”
“If she calls and wants you to run around after her, don’t. If I hear you have, I’ll make her pay.”
Scrunching her face up in disgust, she spits out, “I should never have gone anywhere near you.”
That shit hurts but I don’t let it show.
“But you did, and now you’re tied to me for the rest of your life. When I feel you could be in danger, I’m going to step in, you best believe that.”
“Fine, I get it. You can leave now.”
Inhaling deeply without her noticing, I notice she’s changed her shampoo. Pushing away from the door, I dig out the roll of cash from my inside pocket.
“Here.” I toss it to her. “It’s for the kid.”
“I don’t need it.”
“It’s not for you, it’s for the baby. I told you I’d pull my weight.”
Crossing the room, I make it to the window when she says, “I’ll make you a deal.”
I freeze and she carries on, “I’ll stay away from Clare if you promise to stay away from me. We’ll still go to the doctor appointments, I’ll still send you updates, but for the rest of the pregnancy, I don’t want you popping up whenever you like. I need to find my own way without you.”
Without me. It’s what I’ve been wanting but shit if it doesn’t gut me.
Turning to face her, I nod. “Deal.”
I climb out of her window and light a cigarette as soon as my feet the ground. I suck on the poison needing my lungs to burn just to feel anything but her.