Chapter 29
Darius
Elsa has been up and down all night, not wanting to be fed or changed, like she can sense her mom is somewhere she shouldn’t be. Securing her car seat in the back of my car, I take her out for a drive to see if it’ll settle her down.
It only takes a few streets before she nods off. I keep driving until I pass by the river and stop.
Leaving Elsa to sleep, I climb out and sit on the trunk looking out over the water.
Even on its most choppy days, the water always calms me. But it’s something I’m far from this morning.
I’m struggling to wrap my head around the shit show that occurred in court yesterday. I never want to see the look of fear on Amelia’s face again. I felt for sure her lawyer would get her out, but he was as much use as a chocolate teapot as my grandma would say.
I just don’t understand how she didn’t make bail.
I’ve seen the news and heard the radio, politicians banging on how they’re going to clean up the city from violence and drugs, like they have been for years.
Why make a stand yesterday using Amelia as a reason to hit the rough parts of the city hard when she has nothing to do with it.
If the judge just listened to her lawyer, he would’ve seen this was all bullshit.
Getting back behind the wheel, I turn the engine on and drive over to see Mr. Haynes.
His gates are already open and he’s talking to the guy who failed to get Amelia home yesterday. Before I can park and head over to see what they’re talking about, he’s climbing in his car and driving by me.
Collecting Elsa and her changing bag, Mr. Haynes opens the front door for me, and I follow him into the kitchen. He smiles down at Elsa and strokes her cheek as I settle her car seat on the table and then Catherine swoops in and takes care of her.
“I’m going to ask you one question and by God, you better tell me the truth.”
“I’m listening,” I say, interested to see where this goes.
“Do you have anything to do with this?”
I don’t want to lie to him. We’ve reached a place where we can speak and agree on most things to do with Elsa.
So I say, “You’re better off talking to Clare.”
Though by the time this plays out, no one will find her, not even the cockroaches.
“Is it that boyfriend of hers? I saw him the day her and Amelia graduated. He must be a friend of yours? Has he got her peddling drugs?”
He’ll never hear the truth from my lips, so I say, “You’d have to ask her.”
“I’m not stupid, I know who you are out there on the streets. You must know more than you’re telling me.”
“Mr. Haynes, the moment I fell in love with your daughter, I ended it so she didn’t have anything to do with my world.”
“You love her?”
“Love isn’t what you live on, or survive on. I’ve never been blinded by it, it’ll never cloud my judgement. I love her so much, I was prepared to lose her. So to answer your earlier question, where she is now is not because of me.”
We hear Elsa’s cries coming from the living room and Catherine appears for her bag. She pulls out a bottle and disappears again.
Her cries fade out and I sink into the nearest chair. “I’ll do what I can to bring her home,” I vow.
“I can’t see how, not when I can’t seem to do anything.”
This is because of the Mayor and his hard-on to combat crime. Any other time and Amelia’s father would have been able to pay her way out.
Jermaine is waiting on me when I pull up to Tariq’s house. I stay in the car, and he jogs over and leans on my window.
“Tell me you’ve got something for me.”
I’m going to lose my shit if I don’t hear something good soon.
“CeCe’s in county with April and Jacks. Then we’ve got Baby, Nina and eight others in Bolton Corrections. CeCe is the most approachable, so I put her on Amelia, told her not to tell her who she is. If it doesn’t go her way at trial, I’ll make it known she’s to be looked after at corrections.”
“I don’t care what it costs me, you feel me?”
“I’ve got you, bro.”
I fucking hope it doesn’t come to having to protect her further down the line but the only thing I can do now is prepare.
Mom takes Elsa from me the second I’m through the door. Dumping her changing bag by the coat stand, I lean against the living room doorframe and watch on as Mom unbuckles Elsa and holds her to her chest.
“Any news?”
“Nothing.”
“I still can’t believe Richard couldn’t get her out of this.”
Word is getting around and the Dogs are watching their backs harder than ever, if someone like Amelia is refused bail, people around here stand no chance.
“My heart hurts for her being away from this little beauty.”
Obviously I hate she’s not with our daughter, but I’m more concerned with how she’s going to survive in county. It’s no place for someone like Amelia.
“Can you watch her for a while, I won’t be long.”
“Sure.”
Grabbing my keys, I look both ways up the streets on instinct, and jump in my car.
Driving downtown, I park up and walk the rest of the way to Haynes & Haynes Publishing House.
I plot up across the street and light a cigarette.
I’ve driven by here so many times, but I’ve never taken any interest. It’s just another grand building with people coming and going, all different to me.
I try to picture myself walking in with the morning rush, taking the elevator to whatever floor I’d be working on and then spending eight hours at a desk.
I cannot see it. But then I picture Amelia showing up with Elsa at the end of the day to meet me, we’d go for dinner before going home, and shit doesn’t seem so bad.
To be with Amelia, this would have to be my life. I was such an asshole when she was pregnant, I knew she was around, I knew I could show up when I wanted and get my fix of her, even if it left her hurt. Now she’s not around and I can’t deal.