Chapter 18
Gage
I’m going to kill Ryder in the most horrific way I can think of for making Les cry.
She doesn’t cry, ever. We’ve been in this room for thirty minutes, and even though she’s stopped crying, her face is red and splotchy, her eyes puffy, and her occasional little sniffle is killing me.
She hasn’t said a word, just stared out of the window on the seat she’s sitting on, her knees tucked to her chest. Leo and I tried to talk to her, but we finally just sat back and let her do what she needed to, letting her know we were there for her.
“He said he didn’t want to be in my life anymore,” she says, finally breaking the silence. I lock eyes with Leo, and he looks torn apart too. “Twenty-five years, and he just throws me away.” I can hear her tear up again. I want to rip his heart out and stomp on it, just like he did her.
“I don’t think he meant it, Baby,” Leo says, and my head jerks to him in surprise. “He’s here for a reason.”
She turns slowly towards him. “You’re taking up for him?”
He moves to sit at her feet. “I’m not saying what he did was right, and he deserves his ass kicked for that. All I’m saying is, I think you should talk to him.”
I raise my eyebrow at him when he looks at me and shrugs. What the hell?
“I can’t right now,” she says, turning back to the window.
“That’s fine, Pretty girl,” I assure her. “Eventually, though, right?”
“What’s the point? What’s the point in any of this?” she asks.
“What’s the point in what, Baby?” Leo asks, and dread sinks into my chest.
“Anything!” she explodes. “You live, you die. What’s the fucking point of all the hurt in between?” She stands from the seat. “There is no point.”
She goes to leave the room, and I jump over the back of the little couch, sliding in front of the door, blocking it so she can’t leave. Her eyes narrow to those tiny, scary little slits.
I hope she isn’t armed.
“Move,” she warns, her tiny fists balled up. I know what she can do with those fists.
“I can’t do that, Pretty girl,” I tell her, and her whole body stiffens.
“What?” she asks in a deadly voice.
“We need to work all this out,” Leo says, standing up from his seat.
She whirls on him. “Okay. Let’s do that.”
“Not like this, Baby,” he begs. “I don’t want you to say something you don’t mean.”
“Let’s go back to the house,” I suggest. “Get some wine. Hang by the pool. Then we can talk when you’re ready.”
“I don’t need to talk,” she argues.
“Sorry, Pretty girl. I call bullshit.” I hold my hands up when she glares again. “Let us take care of you.”
“I also don’t need someone to take care of me,” she says, and I watch as her eyes harden. What happened to make her shut down? I hate it.
“There is nothing wrong with needing someone,” Leo comments, walking up behind her.
I warn him with my eyes that her punches hurt like a motherfucker.
“Let me and Gage take you home. We will talk, and we can take care of you. Let us do that for you.” He’s talking to her like she’s a wounded animal, taking slow, measured steps toward her like she might attack at any minute.
Maybe he read the sign in my eyes after all.
“Fine,” she says fast--too fast. “Let’s go.” She goes to grab the door handle, but I block her again. I grimace, waiting for her to punch me right in the balls. “What is your deal?! I said I’ll go. Now let’s fucking go!” Her voice rises with each word, betraying what her eyes try to hide…pain.
I don’t trust her not to make a break for it, and there is no way I can catch her in that car. “Leo is going to drive my car home, and I’ll drive yours.” I stick my hand out for her key fob, and it surprises the shit out of me when she slaps it into my hand.
Point one for Gage, bitches.
“You trust me in your car?” Leo asks with a raised eyebrow.
I shrug and grin. “Make a break for it, and I’ll send Dex after you.”
Leo visibly shudders. “I’m good. Thanks.”
“Scared of Dex?” Les snorts.
“He’s the size of a fucking building!” Leo argues, stretching his arms, trying to encompass how big Dex is.
Les giggles, and it’s such a relieving sound. “Fair point. I would say he’s harmless.” She shrugs. “But he’s not”
“That’s really reassuring, Baby,” Leo remarks, but I can see the relief in his eyes.
Something is going on, and I don’t think it has everything to do with us. I’m sure this is playing a part, but there’s something bigger.
I pull the door open, ushering her with my arm around her shoulders.
She stops dead in her tracks when she sees Ryder sitting in Micah’s living room, head buried in his hands.
He looks up, and I can see the pain in his eyes from hurting her.
I want to be mad at him, and I am for making her cry, but I know what it feels like to want her and not have her.
The only difference is I figured it out sooner that Les isn’t a one-guy kind of girl; she needs all of us, whether she wants to admit to that or not.
But we need her too. She’s the glue holding us all together, keeping us from losing our shit and falling over the edge.
She shrugs my arm off and marches over to him. He stares her dead in the eyes, showing her everything written on his face without the mask he usually wears. He opens his mouth, and she holds her hand up, halting whatever he’s going to say; he snaps it closed. That always makes me want to laugh.
Not the right time.
“I’ll talk; you’re going to listen,” she says, and he nods.
“Never in my life have I felt like I did when I left your dad’s house, and I will not feel like that again.
” She stops, and he nods again. “You want to be a part of my life? You do not get to judge how I choose to live it. If you want to be with me, you need to accept I’m with them too.
You need to decide, Ryder, because I can’t mentally handle thinking you don’t want to be in my life.
” She wipes angrily at the tears sliding down her face again.
He stands up and takes her face in his hands.
“I want to be with you, and I’m willing to accept that in whatever way I can.
” He looks over at Leo, and I see his resolve harden, making some mental decision.
Then he looks back to Les. “In whatever way I can, Il mio sole,” he says again.
Something about what he just said causes her to start crying again, and he crushes her to his chest. She wraps her arms around him, burying her face in his shirt.
“What does il mio sole mean?” Leo whispers, and I shrug. I was shit when Les tried to teach me Italian.
“It means my sun,” Micah answers quietly, walking up behind us. He sees the scene in the living room and grins. “Good. I really didn’t want to kill him,” he remarks before turning on his heel and disappearing up the stairs.
Scary bastard.
Ryder places a gentle kiss on Les’ lips before deepening it, and I look at Leo out of the corner of my eye, gauging his reaction.
Ryder has been a dick to Leo, so this would have been the hardest to accept.
He’s watching them intently but not in a turned-on way; it’s like he’s testing his reaction. I’ll have to ask him about it later.
Ryder pulls back from the kiss before whispering something in her ear, and she nods. She pecks his lips again before walking toward Leo and me. I sling my arm around her shoulders and lead her outside. She shrugs off my arm again and walks over to my Range Rover. What the hell?
She turns back. “No way in hell I’m riding with you in that car.”
My mouth pops open. “Why not?”
“Because you’re a maniac, that’s why.” She shudders, probably remembering the last time I was behind the wheel of this car and almost ran us over a cliff. In my defense, the cliff jumped out in front of me, and I stopped in time.
I huff. “Fine.” I toss my key fob to Leo, and he catches it one-handed. “Precious cargo,” I remind him before sliding the seat back and getting comfortable behind the wheel. God, I love this car.
I look in the rear-view mirror as Leo opens Les’ door for her before jogging around the other side. He flips me off with a grin before getting in and shutting the door.
I grin to myself and fire the car up. I glide the car around the circle in Micah’s driveway and hit dial on my phone. I have someone to thank, even though I’d rather eat dog shit than talk to him. But he did me a solid by giving me the heads up.
“Yeah?” Zane answers.
“Thanks,” I say curtly.
“She good?”
“Yep,” I say and hang up. That’s all he needs to know because I don’t trust him.
Not only is he on the same task force as the one who’s been trying for years to bring the Poletti’s down, but I also see how he looks at Les whenever they have any run-ins with each other.
I hated their little fling as much as Ryder did.
He had no fucking business with her when she was only eighteen.
I hit the main road and floor the gas, knowing Les will kick my ass when we return to the house, but it’s worth it.
After Les told us everything Ryder said, so much made sense.
We plied her with wine to get her to talk, and now Leo, Les, and I are piled on the chaise on the couch watching Supernatural.
I still need to get to the bottom of what’s wrong, but that can wait until another day.
She’s finally relaxed, and I’m not messing that up.
“Hey, assbutt,” Les and I say at the same time as the character Castiel from the show does. Les drops her voice as much as she can to match the characters, and we dissolve into laughter.
“How many times have you seen this?” Leo asks from her other side. He’s got his arm over her legs, and his fingers brush my leg every so often. I’m not sure if it’s intentional, but it’s driving me crazy.
“Too many to count,” Les laughs. “The things I would let Dean Winchester do to me,” she groans sexually and starts laughing again.
I tighten my arm where it’s wrapped around her shoulders. “I could do those things for real.”
“Aw,” she pouts. “Are you jealous, Gage?”