Chapter 17
Ryder
“Fuck!” I yell, slinging my phone onto the bed before roughly jamming both hands through my hair. I’ve called Les several times after she left, but it goes straight to voicemail, so she either blocked me or turned her phone off. Not that I fucking blame her; I’m an idiot.
My door opens, and Dad steps in. “What the hell is wrong with you?” he asks in that voice that still makes me want to shit myself.
“What do you mean?” I contain the wince. He hates when you answer a question with a question.
“Don’t play that shit, boy,” he barks. “Why did that girl just run out of here crying?”
I jerk my head up. “What?” I knew she was upset, but crying? Les?
“Are you trying to piss me off?”
“No,” I sigh. “I didn’t know.”
“That girl has been in your life since birth. What did you do?” He walks further into the room, pulling out the rolling computer chair before lowering himself into it.
I flop back on the bed, staring at the ceiling. “I’m a fucking dumbass.”
“No shit,” he grumbles, and I raise my head a little to look at him. “Tell me what’s going on.”
How the hell do I explain to my dad that I want her, but she also wants four other guys?
Yes, I’m included in that, but I can’t imagine watching another man touch the girl I’ve pined for ever since I can remember.
It was never the right time to tell her.
First, we were too young, then she got kidnapped and had to heal, then she wasn’t ready, then her dad died, then she met fucking Leo. The list goes on and on.
“I told her how I felt after shit went bad with Leo.” I stop and try to gather my thoughts.
“She didn’t return those feelings?” Dad asks softly. No matter how intimidating he is, he’s still the best father I’ve ever known. He and Alessa’s dad did whatever they could to give us a normal life.
I laugh humorlessly. “Oh, she does, but she also has the same feelings for four other guys.”
He doesn’t say anything for so long that I finally sit up on my elbows to look at him, and he’s staring off into space with a contemplative look.
He turns his eyes back on me, eyes that match mine perfectly.
“Let me get this right. You finally tell her what we’ve all seen for years and then fuck it up because you still haven’t learned how to share? ”
My mouth pops open. “We aren’t talking about sharing a toy, Dad. This is Alessa.”
“I know who we are talking about.” He narrows his eyes in warning at my tone, then softens again. “Ryder, don’t let her get away from you because of jealousy.”
“That’s not the life I want with her,” I say miserably, sitting up on the side of the bed.
“Life doesn’t always turn out how we want it.
” His gaze lands on the picture of him and Mom.
“Trust me when I say if you love someone, you will do whatever you can for them.” He turns back to me, and his eyes are sad.
“Go find that girl and beg her to forgive you. Then man up and do what you have to do to keep her.”
“I don’t know if I can, Dad.” I drop my head into my hands and hear him stand up.
He sits beside me on the bed. “Do you love her?”
I swallow the lump in my throat. “Yes.”
“Good,” he says, and I can hear the smile in his voice.
He always was the biggest supporter of Les and me, mainly because he was the only one I ever told how I felt.
“Girls like Alessa are rare.” He reaches over and squeezes my shoulder.
“I won’t tell you what to do, but I hope you make the right choice. ”
He squeezes my shoulder again and walks silently out of the room, shutting the door softly behind him.
I lay back on the bed, throwing an arm over my eyes. I’m pissed at myself for spilling all that hateful bullshit, but I’m also pissed at her and have no right to be, which just pisses me off even more.
Can I do what dad said? Can I do what I need to keep her, or would I fuck it up even more when it all comes crashing down because I’m a jealous bastard?
I remember how I felt when she kissed Gage in front of me, and I hated that feeling.
I wanted to beat the shit out of him for even thinking about touching her, and that was just a kiss.
What about when he was inside of her, and I was there?
If it wasn’t Gage, what about Dex? Holden? Leo?
My anger immediately flares when I think about Leo. I wish Les would have just let me fucking shoot him like I wanted. But that wouldn’t have mattered. I still have three other guys as competition.
Did it have to be competition, though? There is no doubt Les deserves the world laid at her feet.
Would there be any harm in having other guys help with that?
Help me worship at her feet like the queen she is?
I could probably handle the other guys; the real issue is Leo.
Could I watch Leo touch her, or would I put a bullet between his eyes?
I reach for my phone and try Les again, but it goes straight to voicemail. I suck it up and dial Gage.
“What?” he answers on the third ring.
“Where’s Les?”
“I don’t know,” he answers shortly, probably still pissed about the other day.
“What the fuck do you mean you don’t know?” I say, standing up from the bed. Didn’t she go home?
“What I fucking mean is, I sent her to come to get you, but instead, I get a call from Zane saying he saw her hauling ass down the highway, nearly killing herself. What the fuck happened?” He sent her to me? Zane called him? I grind my teeth over that name.
“I fucked up, Gage,” I tell him honestly.
“You’re damn right you did because now I’m standing on the side of the highway with a smashed cell phone and a missing Les.”
He must have tried to call her and had Holden find it when it went to voicemail. Even turned off, he could still track it to the last place it was when it was powered on. Then it hits me what he said. “What do you mean missing?”
“Missing as in, we can’t fucking find her now!” he yells. I hear him slam his car door and then hear several blowing horns. “You better pray to everything that we fucking find her in one piece, Ryder.”
I ignore that because I believe he will follow up with whatever threat he was about to throw out. “Her car has tracking,” I point out.
“No shit,” he says harshly. “Holden is trying to pin it down now.”
“Where are you? I’ll come to you,” I say, already heading down the steps.
“No. I don’t want to see your fucking face. You’ve done enough.”
The line goes dead, but I’m already jamming my feet in my boots. I grab the key to my bike and run back to the garage door. As soon as I swing my leg over my motorcycle, my phone rings, the display reading Micah.
“Hello?”
“You want to tell me why my niece is here crying her fucking eyes out, and the only word she can say is Ryder?” he grinds out. Shit.
“We fought earlier.” Understatement of the fucking century, Ryder. He is going to fucking kill me. “I’m on my way,” I tell him, firing my bike up.
“You better be coming here to fix her because if not, I’ll rip your intestines out through your throat and strangle you with them.”
I wince when the line goes dead, then dial Gage.
“She’s at Micah’s,” I tell him when he answers, and the fucker just hangs up. If they’re up on the highway, I’ll get there faster, especially with the bike.
With that thought, I shove my phone into my pocket and cram my helmet on my head. I back out and hit the gas.
It takes ten minutes to get to Micah’s house, but it feels like fucking years. It doesn’t help that I’m racing the clock trying to beat Gage here.
I run up and bust in because I never knock coming here, anyway. A hand wraps around my throat and slams me back against the front door.
“What did you do?” Micah grits out, getting in my face and squeezing my throat hard.
I don’t even fight back because I deserve it if he kicks my ass. “I’m coming to fix it,” I force out.
He squeezes harder before slamming my head back against the door. He lets go and steps back. “I don’t know what the hell is going on in that house, but if I ever see her like this again, I’ll burn that motherfucker to the ground with all of you in it.” He jerks his thumb over his shoulder. “Go.”
I step around him and head toward her favorite room in this house, the music room. She doesn’t play, but Micah does. He used to play the guitar for us, but I haven’t seen him pick it up in years.
I twist the knob only to find it locked. I knock lightly. “Les?” She doesn’t answer, but I can hear her crying softly through the door. “Please open the door, Les,” I beg. It’s killing me knowing I did this to her because of my jealousy over Leo. “Please.”
I slide down to the floor with my back against the door. “I’m so fucking sorry, Les. I was an asshole. You didn’t deserve what I said.” I scrub a hand down my face and make a decision. “I’ll do whatever it takes to have you in my life. Please let me prove it to you.”
She jerks the door open, and I roll to my feet so I don’t fall back into the room.
Tears are still leaking down her face, and I can’t remember the last time I’ve seen Les cry like this.
“Les,” I say softly. She goes to open her mouth and then looks past me.
That’s when I see Gage barreling down the hallway with Leo behind him.
Gage elbows me back and jerks her into his arms. “Pretty girl,” he breathes while she clings to him. Leo steps around me and up behind her, squashing her between them.
I swallow everything I’m feeling, all the hurt and jealousy threatening to bubble over.
I used to be her person to come to, but now she has to go to other people because of me.
Gage gives me a hard look over his shoulder before ushering her back in the room, shutting the door in my face, and sliding the lock home again.
Fuck fuck fuck!
I raise my hand to pound on the door, then drop it. I’ll give Les the time she needs with him; it would be the first test of my self-control. I head down the hallway toward the front door when Micah steps in front of me from the living room, making me eye him warily.
“Get in here and tell me what’s going on.”
I sigh and follow him like a chastised toddler. I flop down on the couch and wait for him to sit in his favorite chair across from me. I watch him for a second and decide just to spill it. “I told Les how I feel; she feels the same and wants to be with Leo, Dex, Gage, and Holden.”
Micah raises a brow. “I know.”
“What do you mean, you know?”
“We do talk, dickhead. Why did she show up here like that?” He points to the room she’s currently in.
“I told her I couldn’t be in her life if she didn’t choose me.” Well, that’s the condensed version, anyway.
His eyes narrow. “Then why are you here?”
“Because I changed my fucking mind.”
He reaches under the table beside his chair and pulls out a Glock. He lays it on his thigh and casually aims it at me, laying it on his thigh. “You sure?”
“Yes,” I answer, then look at the gun. “You going to shoot me, Micah?”
He slides the safety off. “You aren’t going to make her feel like shit for wanting what she wants ever again?”
“No.”
He chambers a round, the click echoing through the room. “You better hope so, Ryder, because I don’t give a fuck who you are when it comes to my niece. I will fucking end you.” He unchambers the round, and the bullet hits the ground, clanking ominously.
I nod because I have no idea what to say to that. Micah puts the gun back and stands up, striding out of the room.
Holy shit.
Only three people in this world scare me: my dad, Alessa, and Micah. Anyone else I would have put down for talking to me like that without a second thought.
I sit there and stare at nothing, trying to figure out how to fix this because I am going to.
No matter what it takes.