Ride with Zane: Ride With Me

Prologue

I”m so sore and tired, all I want is to hide in my room and sleep for days. I love traveling, but I”m thrilled this season is almost over. With another first place under my belt, I”m just one victory away from qualifying for the Olympics. I”ve worked a lifetime to get here, and I can”t wait to achieve my biggest dream ever. After saying goodbye to my coach, I collect my luggage and head out of the airport.

“Welcome back home, cupcake.” Dad”s voice startles me, pulling me into a bear hug. “I missed you so much.”

“Thank you, Dad. I missed you too,” I reply, feeling like my two-year-old self again. “You shouldn”t have come to pick me up; I could have just called for an Uber.”

“I know you”re independent now, and you don”t need your old father anymore,” he jokes, making me giggle.

Playfully, I nudge him. “That”s not what I meant, Dad, but thank you.”

“I know, Ash. I wanted to be sure you”re okay. I heard you got hurt this morning.”

“I”m okay, Dad. It”s nothing I haven”t experienced before,” I shrug, even though my back still hurts like hell.

“I”m so proud of you, baby. Jill would have been too.” He takes my luggage and places it in the trunk.

Mom was thrilled when I started skating. It was her passion, but she couldn”t chase her dream. I promised her I”d do it for both of us. I just wish she could have been here to watch me win each time. I miss her every day.

“Thank you, Dad.” I sit in the shotgun and tug my seatbelt. “So, what”s new?”

“What makes you believe there”s something new?” His nervous voice rings a bell in my head, and I peer at him.

“I don”t know, you tell me. It”s two a.m., and you”ve never worked on Thursday evenings, but you”re still awake. That means I”m either in trouble,” I hold up my index finger. “or you have something important to tell me.”

“True, but I wanted to be the first one to wish you a happy birthday.” He chuckles before opening the storage compartment and pointing at the red package. I take it out, smiling as he grabs a blue gift box from behind my seat. “You know I break your no celebration and gifts rule each year, and these are yours.”

What”s the point? Since mom left us, I can’t enjoy it. Or I don’t want to. But it seems Dad and Kelly work hard to make me change my mind and I give up every damn year. “Oh, Dad. Thank you.”

He squeezes my hand and pulls away from the parking lot. “Will you come over on Sunday?”

“Of course,” I scoff. I may live in my own house, but Sunday”s lunch is a tradition. “I wouldn”t miss it for anything in the world.” Truth is with the hectic life I have, I barely have time to spend with him and guilt eats me up. He knows I’m off on some competition or training and doesn’t complain. I know how proud he is of me and I want to see that look on his face forever.

He taps his fingers on the steering wheel, and he does it when is nervous. “Great, because I want to talk to you about something.”

Shifting in my seat, I turn to him. “Dad, what”s up?”

“We”ll talk about it on Sunday.” He squeezes my hand. “You need to rest after this stressful period.”

“Are you sure?” I don”t know what he wants to discuss, but if he wants to wait until Sunday, I won”t force him. If he doesn”t feel the urge to tell me right away, it mustn’t be that urgent.

“Kelly has organized a party for tonight.” Oh, shit, not again. My bestie insists on planning a “surprise” party every year with Dad”s help. I”m sure she hasn”t figured out he spills the beans each time. “Enjoy it, cupcake, but don”t drive if you drink.”

“Turning twenty-one today doesn”t mean I”ve never touched alcohol before, Dad.” His glance makes me laugh. Oops. Maybe this is one of those things you shouldn”t tell your parent, especially when he”s the sheriff. “But I promise I won”t drive.”

“Good girl.” He chuckles while parking in my driveway.

I pull out my keys and finally get inside. Home sweet home! Mom and Dad renovated it when I was still a baby, and I”ve never changed anything; I”ve just added a new showcase for all my trophies and medals in the living room and a shelf for my pictures. Other than that, it”s still how Mom designed it. Her taste was sublime and found a perfect match between stylish and classic furniture. Being away from the chaotic city and near the lake, we used to use it as a vacation home, and now it’s the perfect place to live.

I switch on the lights, illuminating the hallway, living room, and kitchen. “Are you sure you live here? Everything looks perfect.” Dad chuckles.

“I was out of town for only two months, Dad. No one came over, not to mention my ghosts wouldn”t allow anyone in,” I joke. Dad has always been easily spooked when it comes to ghosts. Unfortunately, I don”t have any around, but I”d love to see one someday.

He comes closer and tickles me. “You”re not funny, Ash.”

“Trust me, your face said more than you did.” I burst out laughing, while freeing myself from his grasp. “Sorry, Dad.”

“Yeah, sure.” He chuckles too. “Well, I”ll let you be. Don”t stay up too late, okay?” He pulls me into another bear hug again. “Love you, cupcake.”

“Love you too, Dad.”

After a few minutes, he finally lets me go, and I walk him to the door. I watch him drive away before locking the door and turn my attention to the two presents that sit on my kitchen island. Caressing the red one, I pull the strings of its bow and it reveals an adorable Pandora bracelet with all the lovely pendants. I put it on, then grab my luggage and the second gift before heading upstairs.

After a shower, I slip into my pajamas and sit crossed legged on my bed. The blue box is bigger than the one I got last year. I caress it, trying to hold back my tears. Oh, Mom, how I wish you were here.

She passed away when I was twelve, and it was the worst period of my life. It shattered my heart and seeing Dad fighting his depression alone made me realize I have to be strong for him too. I wasn’t a baby anymore and couldn’t be angry with Mom for letting go and not fighting for us anymore. It wasn’t her fault, but my na?ve side wanted to vent over someone, and it was easier to blame her. After a week, I noticed dad was miles away. What I was looking at was just a shadow. My father wasn’t in there anymore. He kept going to work and taking care of me but felt more like a robot. Watching him cry his heart out made me realize we could work it together. He felt the same as I did but pretended everything was fine for my sake. Lies. Lies that hurt even more. It took him almost two years to recover from his grief, but now he seems better, and that”s the best thing ever.

Mom knew she wouldn”t be with us, and Dad told me she planned my gifts for many years. Each year, I get a different but unique item that somehow looks essential. With shaky hands, I carefully open the box and take out her note:

You have just one life. Live it up, cupcake, and have a shot for me too. I”m so proud of you. I love you with all my heart. Mom xx

I burst into tears, and I hold the note close to my chest. My heart aches, knowing she has missed so many important things in my life, and there”s more to come. She left us way too soon. I wanted more time with her but couldn’t have it.

Wiping the tears with the back of my hand, I peel away the blue tissue paper, eyeing something black. I take it out and my mouth drops open in awe at the fabulous, sexy black dress in front of me. I hang it up and peer at it for some more time while shaking my head. Oh Mom, this will do for the party. Kelly made me promise I’ll wear something other than jeans and a top. So here you go, Kelly. Thank you, Mom.

Gazing at the stars, I wonder how many there are out of there. I”ve read somewhere that they”re billions of fragments of planets or some shit like that, but that doesn”t make them any less beautiful since she’s one of them.

The music from our Clubhouse blares loudly as someone opens the door. Silently, I sigh, knowing that my seconds of peace are about to come to an end.

Denise comes to stand beside me, looking at the sky as well. “Still counting them, huh?”

Shrugging, I lean back in my seat. “Nah, just relaxing.”

“Is it one of those days?” She snatches my beer and takes a gulp of it.

“One of those days?” I repeat, cocking an eyebrow.

“You know, Rock, for being our president, you play the dumb role quite well,” she teases.

I chuckle, shaking my head. Denise is Caroline”s sister and I dare to say she knows me better than any of my brothers. Yeah, it is one of those days when memories hit hard and guilt eats me up. Again. I have lost count of them but it’s a routine and I can’t seem to realize what the norm feels like.

She nudges me. “You know she would have kicked your ass, right?”

I sigh, pushing down the bittersweet feeling in my chest. “I know, Di.” I know damn well, and I so wish she could do it. Her memories are fading away and I try so hard to keep them in place.

“Then why aren”t you moving on?”

Do I deserve to? After all that shit happened? No, thank you! “Because I don”t want to lose anyone in my life, ever again.” Shifting my gaze to her, I can see the disappointment in her eyes.

“That”s not life, and you damn well know it. Some idiot on his phone ran her off the road, and it wasn”t your fault.”

“It wasn”t just some guy, Di. He was one of The Vipers, and he did it on purpose,” I snap at her. That piece of shit destroyed her future, all because of me. And with her my life went down the hill too. Pretending everything’s fine while running the club and our businesses is my routine. That’s what I need. What I deserve.

She stands up and faces me. “I know the police didn”t want to investigate, but justice was served, and he”s buried somewhere out there. It wasn”t your fault, so stop fucking blaming yourself!”

“It”s not that easy, Di.” I tug at my hair, trying to calm the demon inside me because, right now, I want to punch someone. If she wasn’t with me, she would still be alive.

“You”re just a coward, Rock,” she scoffs. “Falling for someone scares the hell out of you because you think you”re betraying Caroline”s memory. She will always be a part of your life. You just need to move on and that doesn’t mean you’ll forget her or erase her from your heart.” She sighs. “Do it now while you”re still sexy as hell; otherwise, you”ll be alone forever.”

“Wow, thanks, Di.” Getting up, I pull the keys from my pocket. “You”re coming to ZBE tomorrow.”

Her eyes widen. “Oh, hell no!”

“Of course, you are.” I smirk at her. “Mine wasn’t a question.”

“I hate dressing up,” she stomps her foot before a smile appears on her face. “At least I”ll do something you won”t.”

I raise an eyebrow at her. “Which is?”

“Get laid.” She laughs before drinking the rest of my beer.

“Going home. See you tomorrow.” I wave goodbye as I climb onto my bike. The roar of the engine drowns out my thoughts, and I relax while driving through the roads of my charter.