Chapter 14
Two nights in a row, I slept soundly squeezed between the back cushions of a couch, and a hard, tatted Stallion. After my argument with Twister, home in the comfort of my own bed, I tossed and turned until the sun was up.
‘Just remember this...’
He was in my head, and I couldn’t shut him up.
Or, more accurately, there was a part of me that didn’t want to.
‘I’m your daddy now, baby.’
I groaned, clapping my hands over my face, covering my eyes.
‘I got you, sparky. You’re safe.’
What was only supposed to be one night had become this thing that was bigger than me.
The thoughts and emotions I wrestled all night felt a little bit like torture, and I wasn’t a masochist. My feelings for Twister sucked the most when I fought them.
When I gave in—when I surrendered, being with him felt like liberation.
With him, I could let go in a way I never had before.
Not just with my body, either. It was terrifying and infuriating; but it was also pretty damn great.
It would be easier if it wasn’t true.
It would be easier if I could just walk away.
But I didn’t toss and turn all night because I wanted to run.
I tossed and turned because I wanted to stay.
I wanted to get on the back of a hog, wrap myself around a Stallion, and ride with no destination in mind.
I wanted a man who liked kissing me as much as he liked fucking me.
I wanted a lover who knew my limitations and didn’t punish me for them.
I wanted Twister.
But I didn’t want to be his fool.
If I was going to do this—if I was going to be the other half of a thing with Twister—I needed to know I could trust him. I needed to make sure his monster wasn’t a handsome son-of-a-bitch who said things like, ‘Respect I’ve got for you goes deep.’
In other words, I needed a character witness.
I rolled over, reached for my phone off the nightstand, and stared at it for a moment.
After I unlocked the screen and pulled up Winnie’s contact information, I hesitated again.
Mustang told me Twister had never claimed Lyla—but one Stallion coming to the defense of another wasn’t surprising.
As much as I trusted Mustang, as much as I respected him, I needed more.
I needed an unbiased opinion, and there was only one person I trusted enough to give it to me.
Still, it didn’t make it any easier to initiate a call.
More times than not, she was the one calling me.
Rather than feel as though it was her turn to do me a solid, I felt uneasy at the prospect of burdening her with my doubts and insecurities.
‘Just remember this…’
I could almost feel his big hands as they held onto me while he pried my lips open with his tongue. My belly bottomed out at the memory, my longing undeniable. If I was being honest with myself, I had to admit, I was desperate.
I tapped my screen, the line began to ring, and I brought the device to my ear as I waited anxiously for her to answer.
“Hello?” she spoke in greeting after the third ring.
“Hey, Winnie, it’s…me,” I replied lamely.
I could hear the smile in her voice as she said, “Yeah, hi. What’s up?”
“I was wondering if you might be free for lunch today?”
“Oh,” she murmured, clearly surprised. “Phoenix, lunch sounds great. Would you mind a few of us? Jenna was hoping to get out of the house today, and Lexi and I were planning on meeting up with her. We were going to go to that coffee-sandwich shop on Third Street. It’s Lexi’s favorite, and she’s been craving it. ”
I freed a quiet breath, my whole body sinking further into my bed. “I don’t know. I don’t want to intrude.”
“Phoenix?” she began before I could back out entirely. “I don’t know why you’re calling, but you never do. If this has anything to do with Twister, a table of ol’ ladies is just what you need.”
I knit my eyebrows together. “How do you know about?—?”
“He’s second in command. If he needs something done, he doesn’t have to work it up the chain. He taps on a brother’s shoulder and handles it. But if it’s really important—he calls Bull.”
All at once, the memory of the Stallions’ president and his VP entering the bar after my out-of-town problem had been solved was right there, at the forefront of my mind.
Tommy and Georgia weren’t a threat. Not exactly.
Not for the Stallions. They’d been chased off easily enough.
I figured Twister called on Bull because he was around—I never considered the weight of the ask.
“We’re meeting up at twelve-thirty. Does that work for you?” she inquired, interrupting my thoughts.
I closed my eyes, drew in a deep breath, and then nodded to no one.
I needed this. If it meant a crowd, so be it.
“Sure, yeah. I’ll see you then.”
“Great. Looking forward to it.”
We said our goodbyes, and I checked the time.
It was a little after nine A.M., which meant I had time to kill.
I got up, made a pitstop in the bathroom, then headed for the kitchen.
After I’d brewed myself a cup of coffee, sweetening it the way I liked, I grabbed my copy of the Brandon Sanderson novel I recently started and made my way out onto my back porch.
Try as I might to get lost in his fictional world, I couldn’t manage to escape the one in which I was currently tangled.
I set aside the book for later, staring out at my garden as I finished my morning dose of caffeine, certain I would need another come lunchtime.
When my mug was empty, I returned indoors to occupy myself with a few house chores.
About an hour before my scheduled lunch plans, I hopped in the shower and began to ready myself for the rest of the day.
Assuming I’d head straight to Steel Mustang after our meal, I planned accordingly.
After putting on a bit of makeup and dealing with my hair—which consisted of applying a moisturizing agent before leaving it to air dry and do its thing—I dressed in a pair of black shorts and a fitted, black Led Zepplin tee.
I tucked my feet into my boots, strapped on my blade, grabbed my purse and my keys, then headed for the center of town.
I parked along the street about a half a block from my destination and tried not to second guess my decision to show up.
I reminded myself that while the women I was about to sit down with didn’t know me anymore than I knew them, they weren’t complete strangers, and I wasn’t an unknown to them.
Furthermore, I didn’t need to give them more of myself than I was willing to give.
I was on a mission.
I was willing to sacrifice a little if it meant confirming whether or not I could trust Twister. Regrettably, I wanted him too much not to see this through.
I saw the group through the glass door as I approached, already seated at a table for four near a window.
It was strange approaching them. I didn’t do lunch dates with the girls —but when Jenna spotted me and waved me over with a smile, there was no ignoring the warmth that accompanied their acceptance.
Even if it was only surface deep. Even if the whole truth would likely change their minds about me.
For now, in this moment, I was welcome, and it felt nice.
“Hi! You can sit or we can just go to the counter to order. We were waiting for you to get here before we went up,” said Jenna.
“Let’s order then,” I replied, nodding toward the short line. “No Lane today?” I asked as we joined the cue.
“I was going to bring him, but as I was getting ready to leave, he fell asleep on top of Kade, and I couldn’t bear to move him.
Not that they won’t have plenty of time together, but I want Kade to get as many baby-snuggles as he can before he has to go back to work.
Plus, leaving the babe at home makes this a real girls’ outing, and I won’t complain about that, even if I already miss him like crazy. ”
“Oh, man—it’s almost unbearable that I haven’t met him yet. As soon as Jed is off tomorrow, we’re headed straight for your place. Also, can I just say? Even thinking about a newborn falling asleep on top of Jed…” Lexi began, pressing her hands against her seemingly flat belly. “I can’t wait.”
I looked between the women, wondering what I missed. Both Jenna and Winnie’s smiles implied I’d missed a lot.
“You, too?” I asked.
Alexia’s face lit up with a gorgeous grin.
“Yeah. I mean, it’s still pretty early and I probably shouldn’t be talking about it for another few weeks.
Honestly, we’re just going off the results of a single pregnancy test, my bouts of morning sickness, and a late period.
I have an appointment with a doctor in a couple days. ”
“Wow. Congratulations,” I murmured.
“Thank you. We’re pretty excited.”
Fortunately, we were next in line, and I still needed to figure out what to eat for lunch. I used the distraction to shove aside all thoughts of pregnancies and babies and how the Stallions seemed to be multiplying like rabbits, lately.
Out of practice as I was, these were the kind of things women talked about when they got together to gab. For one afternoon, I was one of them, and I needed to act like it.
When our orders were placed, we stepped aside and waited for our drinks and sandwiches. Once in hand, we returned to the table and settled. Jenna asked Alexia about her honeymoon, and she shared what details she could about their trip up to Montana.
“I still can’t believe you agreed to a cabin in the mountains practically just up the road,” teased Winnie.
Alexia shrugged. “I got the wedding I wanted, so he got the honeymoon he wanted. It was actually really peaceful. The ride was fun, too. The views were amazing. And—well—the seclusion was a perk.”
“I’ll bet,” laughed Jenna.
“ Anyway …” It was all she said, in an obvious attempt to segue into a different topic of conversation. Winnie, grasping the opportunity, shifted her attention onto me.
“So, what’s new with you?”