Chapter 14 #2
All eyes aimed my direction, I cleared my throat and reached for my iced coffee. I took a sip knowing there was only one way I was going to get this out. There would be no dancing around it.
Having stalled for as long as I could, I said, “Twister and I are—seeing each other, I guess. It started the night of your wedding.” I jerked my chin toward Alexia then continued, “I thought it was going to be one drunken night but, here we are.”
“Oh, my gosh,” gushed Jenna. “Why do I feel like I had a baby and suddenly I’m out of the loop? I did not see this coming, but I am loving it! Tess is going to lose her mind.”
“There’s more,” Winnie murmured contemplatively. “You wouldn’t have agreed to lunch just because you wanted to tell us the two of you are now an item. This isn’t you coming out with the news, as if tomorrow you’re going to show up at the clubhouse holding hands.”
“No. Definitely not.”
“Benson’s a good one. What seems to be the problem?” asked Alexia.
I caught her amber eyes. “You say he’s a good one. How do you know?”
“Well, I’ve known him for the least amount of time, and mostly on a professional level. But he’s smart. Really smart. And, from what I’ve gathered, a lot of what’s in his head is self-taught.
“Beyond that, I know he’s good around the kids. I also know, about a year ago when I was in trouble, he was Jed’s first call. He’s the kind of guy who shows up. All the Stallions are, but with him, I’ve seen it in action.”
“You’ve been around for years,” began Jenna, earning my attention once more. “You know how these men are as well as we do. What’s got you worried?”
I glanced down at my half-eaten sandwich.
“Lyla,” was my simple reply.
“Hmm. I can see how that could rattle you a little.”
I was quick to shift my gaze Winnie’s way.
“Did he play her, or is he playing me?”
“Oh, Phoenix—you’ve got it all wrong. Do you have any idea the reputation you have with the Stallions?”
“Yeah. I’m the bar bitch who’s not afraid to break up a fight.”
Winnie laughed, her smile causing a slight crinkle of the skin around her eyes. Rather than her age, I saw her beauty and her wisdom. She sobered enough to say, “Sure, that’s part of it. But for years, you’ve been the untouchable beauty.”
Her comment hit me in a weak spot I didn’t know I had, and I forgot how to breathe for a second—my brain scrambling to prevent her words from penetrating.
“What are you talkin’ about?” I managed.
“When you first started, Mustang made it very clear to all the guys you were off limits. He liked you; he wanted you to stick around; he’s also far from blind, and he wanted his brothers to keep their dicks out of you.
He guessed you were smart enough to handle yourself, but he’s protective that way.
So, he had your back until you made it pretty clear yourself you were not to be trifled with. ”
I said nothing in reply as I considered her words. I didn’t know about Mustang, but it didn’t surprise me either.
“I say all that because you should know, there’s not a man in a kutte in a hundred miles of here who would dare play with your heart. Least of all Twister. You two have kept it pretty under wraps, but I know one thing for sure: if he’s given up Lyla—he’s takin’ his chance. He’s not playing you.”
Rather than the reassurance I was sure she was trying to offer, I felt even more confused.
“You say if he’s given up Lyla as if that means something. He keeps acting like it’s nothing. Which is it?”
“Nothing.”
“Nobody likes Lyla.”
“It’s for sure nothing.”
They all spoke at once, and I glanced at each one of them before Winnie began speaking again.
“She’s easy and convenient. If it wasn’t true, I might feel bad saying it—but it is. She’s been after Twister since the moment she arrived on the compound. If I wasn’t sporting Bull’s ink and his ring, it would be his lap she was trying to mount in an effort to claim the title she’s been chasing.
“She doesn’t want just any Stallion. The higher his rank, the better. It just so happens Twister’s easy on the eyes and he’s got that beard. If I’m being honest, I don’t blame her. I prefer a beard between my thighs, too.”
Jenna snickered, and I saw it as she and Alexia shared a look—but Winnie wasn’t finished.
“I’m sure I don’t need to tell you their history; but here’s something you should consider. He’s slept with her plenty—but he’s also seen her take another brother’s cock. No man, and I mean no man claims an ol’ lady who’s been around the club the way she has. I don’t care how tight her ass is.”
“You probably should be more worried about the last time he got tested.”
“Jenna,” chided Alexia.
“What?” she replied with sheepish shrug.
“I’m just saying. Not to get in your business, but if you two get serious and he doesn’t want to wrap it up, just make sure he’s good.
I mean, I’m sure you don’t need me to tell you that.
But as a healthcare professional, it felt like my duty to say it.
Not to mention, I’ve been inside that clubhouse enough to know—just—you know… gross.”
I smiled, relieved to feel amused. “Yeah. Got it,” I assured her. “I don’t imagine we’re headed toward serious, but I’ll certainly keep that in mind.”
“Wherever you’re headed, don’t forgot this conversation. And trust me, Twister’s a wild one, but he’s no liar. There’s a reason he’s VP. He’s got more integrity than you might realize. Not to mention, if he does you wrong, he’ll have more than one brother to answer to.”
I nodded, wanting to take her words at face value. A lot had been said, and I knew I needed to sit with it for a minute.
“Thanks,” I murmured. I then picked up my sandwich and, in an effort to lighten the mood, said, “Tell Tess we’ve only been out twice. If she comes into the bar tryin’ to make plans for a double date or some shit, I’m gonna pretend I don’t know what she’s talkin’ about.”
Grinning, Jenna promised, “I’ll tell her. Doesn’t mean she’ll listen.”
“Yeah. I suspect you’re right.”
We finished our meal, and conversation kept us at the table for a little while longer. When Jenna got a text from Maverick, she told us that was her cue to head home. Alexia and Winnie needing to get back to work themselves, we said our goodbyes and went our separate ways.
I arrived on the compound thirty minutes before I needed to be at Steel Mustang.
I sat in my Bronco, in the back of the parking lot, for ten of those minutes, replaying the conversation we had at lunch about Twister.
I suppose I shouldn’t have been surprised by the confidence each of them had in the Stallions’ VP.
Much of what they said matched up with the things Twister said and the way he acted.
This truth coupled with my exhaustion—the result of a restless night on account of the tension between us—made me confront the reality of it all.
I had to trust him. If we were going to move forward, it was my only choice.
The doubts I harbored, the insecurities that were creeping out of the dark corners of my mind, they were my problem.
They were the baggage of my history; a history I didn’t share with anyone.
Whereas, Twister had been completely open and honest about the pieces of him that were messy and imperfect.
He’d lived his life openly. His track record was documented by the people with whom he spent all of his time.
If I wanted him—and it would be ridiculous to say I didn’t—I had to take him how he came. It would be unfair of me, of all people, to demand more.
When I got out of my vehicle, I strapped my bag over my shoulder and started to make my way toward Horsepower Auto-Supply.
I made it halfway across the lot when I changed my mind, realizing I wasn’t quite sure what I was going to say to him.
As I turned around, headed for the bar, I considered how, maybe, simply showing up would say enough.
I turned around again, aiming to walk into the store.
I took five steps before I changed my mind. Again . It was the middle of the afternoon, and I wasn’t in the mood to make a scene.
Hoping he’d do what he always did, and I’d find him propped up against my car at the end of the night, I headed for the bar and got to work.
It was nearly two-thirty the next morning when Rodeo, Buck, and I said our goodbyes. I locked up the bar and headed for my Bronco. Twister wasn’t there.
I climbed behind the wheel and started the engine, but I didn’t go anywhere right away.
I thought about the consequences of another night with this unresolved conflict between us.
I wasn’t sure how I managed to get here; how I became that woman who needed to know where she stood with a man.
I didn’t even know this part of me had survived the wreckage of my marriage, my abuse, my life —but my stomach ached at the thought of Twister pulling away from me, knowing I was the one who pushed him first.
I was tired.
Tired of fighting.
Tired of losing.
Tired of bracing myself at every moment of every day.
I wanted to let go.
I wanted to fly.
I wanted Twister.
Shaking my head at myself, I shifted my ride into gear, and I drove off the compound. I didn’t give it a second thought. Much as my brain wanted to taunt me with warnings meant to scare me away, I ignored them all.
I knew it was late when I pulled into his driveway.
Chances were good he was asleep. Stupidly, it didn’t even occur to me that he might not be at home at all until I started walking toward his front door.
Nevertheless, I didn’t let my doubt prevent me from stepping onto his dark porch before I reached for the doorbell. I rang it once and waited.
Fifteen seconds went by, and I rang it twice more.
Ten seconds—and then the porch light switched on, and my chest filled with anxious anticipation.
When he opened the door, he was in nothing but a pair of checkered boxer briefs. He squinted at me through one eye, obviously having been roused from slumber—the light shining above us irritating his vision.
I wasn’t sure if I should apologize for waking him, if I owed him a different apology, or?—
I didn’t get a chance to make up my mind before he stepped outside, bent in order secure his arm just below my ass, then lifted me off my feet and against his bare, tatted chest. Without a word, he carried me inside, closed and locked the door behind us, then headed straight for the couch.
He stretched out across it, settling me on top of him before he muttered, “Fuck you in the mornin’. ”
And just like that, I felt completely at ease.
I smiled into the darkness, made myself comfortable, and drifted to sleep within minutes.
Boots and all.