4. Ryder
4
RYDER
“ W hat do you mean she would’ve ruined my career?” I had been on the phone with Terrence for less than two minutes and already the rage was more than I could handle. “That’s my kid. He trumps my career. He trumps every fucking thing. Which part of that do you not understand?”
My face heated and I had no doubt that a quick glance in the mirror would reveal red cheeks and crazy eyes.
I paced the length of my bedroom at The Haven. Any semblance of calm I had, left as soon as I watched Shiloh, Ethan, and the rest of his classmates, disappear into the yellow school bus.
Terrence let out a long sigh. “Ryder, you have no idea how often this sort of thing happens in our industry. A groupie sleeps with a band member just so she can trap him into marriage.”
I paused my pacing. “I tell you what. Just stop talking.” Terrence was lucky we were not meeting face-to-face. The man would’ve been missing some teeth if we were. “As of this moment, you are no longer my manager. You do not do anything on my behalf. My lawyer will have a letter drawn up by the close of business and he will hand deliver it to your home.”
I had no idea if that could even happen. Terrence had managed all my affairs including a lot of correspondence with my lawyer. But that did not make me ignorant. I’d already made plans to ensure Ethan would be well taken care of from here on out. I needed to talk to Shi about back pay in child support. I was expecting an argument there but I had a solution for that as well.
I had spent most of the time since I arrived back at the B&B on the phone. My lawyer was the first person I called. Then Layla and Everly since I knew I would need another manager. I spoke to my agent and my publicist. I wasn’t about to hide the fact I had a kid, but I also didn’t want him as the object of media speculation. The last person I called was Terrence. A part of me had still hoped there was some kind of explainable misunderstanding. Terrence knew how I grew up. He knew I would never abandon my kid.
Terrence still thought he stood a chance. “Ryder, I think you’re making a terrible mistake. Have you even considered taking a DNA test?”
“Whether or not I’m making a mistake is no longer your concern.” I inhaled deeply. The last thing I wanted was to lose my temper with the douche. “And that was the last time you imply that Shiloh was less than honest. You are the asshole in this scenario. If I even hear a rumor that you said a bad word about her, you will not work in the industry again.”
Again, I wasn’t sure if that was true but, on neither count, had Terrence corrected me. Instead of listening to more of his bullshit, I ended the call and attempted to put the asshole out of my mind.
After a late lunch, I lost myself going through the footage we’d gotten from the kids recording our session. It was safe to say none of them were likely to make a career out of cinematography but I did manage to get some decent stuff for almost the entire song. If needed, I could always ask someone to film us a second time.
Once I sorted the raw footage into what we could use and what had to be deleted, I made sure the kids were out of the frame at all times.
My alarm beeped, indicating that I need to make my way over to Shiloh’s house soon. If I didn’t set alarms for everything, I would never be on time for anything. In fact, it wasn’t even guaranteed I would show up at all without some sort of reminder. Preferably a noisy one.
It was only as I stepped out of the shower and wondered what to wear, that I realized I was nervous. Not in the sweaty palms, racing heart, kind of way. But rather, I was concerned that my son wouldn’t like me. I mean, it stood to reason, that if his mother explained things to him, he would be resentful toward his father. Maybe he even hated that man.
Fuck. Now I was talking about myself in the third person. Without giving it too much thought, I changed out of my sweats and pulled on a pair of faded jeans and a grey long sleeve T-shirt with buttons at the neckline.
I grabbed my keys and phone and made my way downstairs. From what I understood, the B&B had been around since before I was born and had always been a refuge for veterans with PTSD. The building was well maintained but there were signs of age. The stairs creaked in a way that reminded one of a dark and dingy haunted house. The pastel colors and floral decor mitigated that somewhat, though.
I’d hoped to make a quick exit without anyone noticing me. But no.
Jason stood at the bottom of the stairs. Arms folded as he leaned against the manager’s desk. Technically, there was no reason for him to be staying at the B&B. Both his parents lived in town.
I smiled knowing he was avoiding some family shit. “Shouldn’t you be staying with one of your parents.”
My friend rolled his eyes and stepped closer to me. “You know what’s worse than needing to choose which parent you’re staying with for the weekend?”
Jason’s parents were divorced. But it was one of those healthy arrangements where they loved their kid and had prioritized him. He complained, but I could tell he loved spending time with both of them.
“No, but I’m sure you’ll tell me.”
“Making that decision, and then walking into the house to surprise my mom, then finding my dad with his head between her thighs. On the kitchen counter.” Jason was justifiably outraged. “I mean, come on. Now they’re just heating my therapist’s pool.”
I let out a laugh. “Maybe if you let them know you were coming to town things like that are less likely to happen.”
“They’re supposed to be divorced. That is not normal divorced people's behavior.” He tilted his head at me. “I don’t know why I never saw it before. Ethan looks just like you.”
I guessed at the way the other chaperones were looking at Shiloh and me earlier that news would travel around the small town. Not that it bothered me. Ethan was not going to be a secret anymore.
“Look, I know you want to warn me and threaten me and all sorts of things. But I am about to be late for dinner.”
“At Shiloh’s?” At my nod he continued. “Then please go. She’s not the most tolerant when it comes to tardiness.”
Great. I was a man with many flaws, but of course the mother of my child would hone in on my most obvious.
With a quick wave, I left. Before I allowed the GPS to direct me to Shiloh’s house, I stopped at the grocery store. The young woman who rang up the three kinds of ice cream gave me a familiar smile. She knew who I was but she didn’t want to harass me. I appreciated the thought and hoped the rest of the town would do the same. Especially since I intended to spend a lot of time in Marina De Ferrier.
The drive to the address Layla gave me was quick and uneventful. The manor she and some of her friends were staying at was huge. Judging by the number of windows on the top floor there were at least six bedrooms. Instead of walking up to the front door, I took the small path to the cottage at the back. I didn’t get a chance to ring the doorbell. The door swung open and Ethan stood there with a big grin.
“Hi Mr. Ryder. Mom said you’re late.”
Less than two minutes, but sure. “Hey kiddo. I am terribly sorry.” He continued to stare at me as if he couldn’t believe I was there. “Do you mind if I come in and place the ice cream in the freezer?”
Kid looked down at my arms and his eyes widened as he took in the three tubs.
“Mom’s gonna go ballistic.”
I walked into the coziest home I’d ever seen. Everything was in its place, but it also looked like a home. There were schoolbooks on the kitchen counter next to a book bag. And then there was the smell. Cheese and meat and sauce. All of it was so inviting and so mouthwatering. It was nothing like my childhood, or even the childhood I knew Shi had to endure.
“I need to put this in the freezer.”
“Are you planning on taking home what we don’t eat?”
“I plan on being here for dinner every night for the foreseeable future. We’ll eventually get through it all.”
“Shh.” She placed a finger over her lips. The move was adorable and sexy at the same time. “I haven’t told him anything yet. I wanted you here when I broke the news.”
I didn’t get a chance to ask her what she had already told him when Ethan walked back into the kitchen. “Mr. Ryder, can I get you something to drink?”
“You can just call me Ryder.” I turned to Shi. “Unless you think that is inappropriate.”
“Ryder’s fine.” Her smile was soft and my shoulders relaxed a little more.
Ethan was still looking at me expectantly and I remembered that he had asked me if I wanted a drink. “Just water, please.”
Normally the day before a recording session I would drink tea with honey, or something equally soft but I didn’t want to put Shiloh out. Even more, I didn’t want to fluster a little boy who was already nervous, with my diva-like requests.
“Eth, you need to set the table.” Shiloh’s voice softened when she spoke to our son. I loved that. “Maybe you can get Ryder to help you.”
I clapped my hands together, happy at the thought of having something to do. “Yes, please. Put me to work.”
“The plates are in that cabinet.” Ethan pointed at a cabinet that was just out of his reach while he dug in a drawer for the silverware.
There was something about the domesticity of it that really comforted me. I wasn’t much of a cook. And as much as I hated cleaning, I grew up in an environment where if I wanted anything clean, I had to do it myself. Not that I had done it very well.
No, the only thing I did with any sort of aplomb was sing, and play most musical instruments. That was the only thing I was good at.
But Shiloh. Oh. She’d made a home. My son was comfortable and safe because of her.
Once the table was set, Ethan and I carried the food through. Well, he carried the salad and I carried the dish with the steaming cheesy enchiladas.
“Ryder.” Ethan spoke up once grace was said and his mom had dished for him. “When did you start singing?”
“I was a lot like you.” I decided to give him an abridged version of my story. “I started singing in the choir when I was in elementary school. But of course, because I was a boy, no one took me seriously until after my voice broke.”
“When will my voice break?”
I looked over at Shiloh but all she did was raise a brow and stifle a grin.
“I think you can handle that conversation.” She leaned forward as if she was interested in the answer.
I turned from her and back to Ethan. “Give it a few years. Don’t be in any hurry.”
Conversation flowed through the entire meal. Granted, Ethan mostly carried it. But I couldn’t help but sneak glances at Shiloh. The woman was a knockout in every way. Especially with all that strawberry blonde hair and green eyes. She wasn’t overly curvy but she was definitely stronger than I remember. But the thing I found most attractive was how she was with Ethan. She didn’t leave any room for disrespect and she made sure he understood that she was the parent. Yet, he was free to talk. He could talk about what was bothering him and could even challenge her as long as it was done respectfully.
At the end of the meal, Shiloh placed her knife and fork in her plate and faced Ethan. “Sweetheart, there is something I need to tell you.”
“Okay.” He also placed his cutlery in his plate. “Am I in trouble?”
“No.” The small smile she offered him told me that Ethan found trouble often. “But this is important.”
She seemed nervous and the urge to take her hand and comfort her overwhelmed me. But we were no longer that. I had disappointed her, and there was no getting around it. I also need to remember that she was willing to believe the worst thing about me. Even if the circumstances were difficult. It was obvious she had no faith in me.
I should’ve found out what she told Ethan about his father. If I had that little bit of information, I could’ve stepped in. But I didn’t want to overstep and make her look like a liar.
Instead, I looked over at my son. “Maybe we can talk in the living room. It would be a lot more comfortable there.”
“No.” Shiloh insisted. She took a deep breath and faced him once more. “Ethan, remember how I told you I lost touch with your dad before I had a chance to tell him I was pregnant.”
Ethan’s eyes narrowed as looked between me and his mom. “Yeah.”
Everything in me stopped working as she broke the news to him.
“Well, Ryder is your father.”
His lips disappeared into a thin line and his head whipped in my direction. “You left my mom.”
The outrage at me didn’t bother me as much as I thought it would. I loved that he wanted to defend his mom.
“Yes. Though if I had known about you. About what people were doing behind my back, I would’ve been here. I promise.”
His head reared back and a brow rose. Fuck, it was like looking in a mirror. “What people? What were they doing behind your back?”
Shiloh took his hand. “A very bad man who works for your dad said things to keep us apart.”
Ethan’s shoulders sagged. His tone became more clipped. “How long will you be in town for?”
“I have a tour kick off in Los Angeles in mid-December.” It was not a full tour, but I would be away for quite a bit. “It’s not an intense tour, but I have dates every month until the summer when it will be more intense.”
My heart broke as I watched my son stare at his hands in lap. “So, you won’t be here for Christmas. But you’re leaving before then.”
I shook my head. At least I could give him that assurance. “No. First thing tomorrow I’m contacting a realtor to find me a place in town.”
“What?” Shiloh frowned at me. “You’re buying a house? Here?”
“Where else?” I didn’t understand why she was so shocked.
Before she could answer me though, I had to focus on a very confused little boy.
“Mom said the man works for you?” Ethan raised a brow, distrust still in his eyes. “Are you going to fire him?”
“Already did.”
Again, Shiloh frowned, confusion marred her gorgeous face. “What?”
“You didn’t expect me to continue working with a man who had lied to me for almost a decade, did you?”
“Well, no.” She swallowed hard. “But surely he explained himself.”
“He tried.” I did not want to get into what Terrence had implied in front of Ethan. “But there is no excuse.”
“Now what?”
I smiled at both of them. “Now we continue with your normal evening routine.”