24. Shiloh
24
SHILOH
I t had been just over a decade since I had seen Ryder in concert. It wasn’t that he hadn’t had shows in San Diego since then, I just couldn’t bring myself to see him live again. There was a part of me that worried that one look and all those feelings would be stirred up once more. And I was right.
From the moment I walked into that studio all those weeks earlier, I knew my feelings hadn’t gone anywhere. They were just buried so deep that I didn’t allow myself to feel them.
I had no hesitation when he handed me the four VIP tickets. Seeing him live on stage was something I looked forward to. The hour-long drive to the Central San Diego Stadium was made a lot more fun with Maggie and Tiffany in the car with me.
Tiffany’s fifteen-year-old sister, Zoe took the fourth ticket. She was happy to mostly ignore us and scroll away on her phone in the back seat.
“I can’t believe you still have my cap.” Maggie tried to grab the baseball cap she’d caught all those years ago. “I mean, I know you wear it from time to time. But I didn’t realize why you took it from me and kept it all these years.”
I batted her hand away, and she focused back on the road. I had no doubt she would try again when she wasn’t driving.
“I don’t know why I kept it.” Maybe nostalgia, maybe hope. “It’s not like I intended to tell Ethan about his father, anyway.”
Tiffany leaned forward between the two front seats. “I bet my little munchkin is excited about tonight.”
“He’s as much of a diva as his dad.” I chuckled remembering how he’d been acting before he and Ryder left for San Diego. “Between the tea and the silent treatment because they needed to rest their voices, they were driving me crazy.”
Ethan was already at the stadium. He had begged his dad to let him perform. Ryder was a little reluctant. He didn’t want our son in the spotlight. He’d been irritated about something. He insisted that parents should protect their kids from the limelight, not shove them into it.
It wasn’t until I explained to him that Ethan had the best protector in him, that he began to accept it. I reminded him that I believed he would not allow anything to happen to Ethan and he relented. Since I would be at the show, Ethan wouldn’t have to wait backstage all night, so he allowed our son to perform at the opening concert.
Apparently, he would have a two song set before he’d be escorted back to me. The audience didn’t know it but there were other surprises as well. The Poets would be making a guest appearance with a three-song set, including the reunion single they’d recorded a few weeks back. Then Layla Dean would also be performing her duet with him. It was one hell of a kickoff to his national tour.
From what I understood, there were logistical issues that went into changing the tour kickoff from Los Angeles to San Diego. He had two nights in San Diego, then he’d be headed to Los Angeles for three nights. Then a few meetings in L.A. before making it home by Christmas Eve.
That was the part I was looking forward to the most. Him being with us on Christmas Eve.
Christmas Day we would head to Tess and Harry’s. With Cat hopefully home on leave, and Grace home, Tess would be in her element. She loved the idea of all her little chicks being home for the holiday. And we loved that we could do that for her. Including her grandchildren and Ryder, we’d be ten people at the dinner table. But that was the easy part.
Ryder had already won over Harry, and Tess absolutely adored him. The challenge would be the night before. When we would do our dinner with all our friends. Nearly everyone would be home. And I looked forward to watching Ryder interact with all of them. He already met Theo, and Jason was one of his best friends. Still, I couldn’t help but be nervous about the rest.
Holden was unnecessarily protective of everyone. Aidan didn’t trust upfront. Not to mention how cagey Owen could be. And that was just the guys. I still hadn’t told Cat, and while I was sure Grace knew about Ryder, she hadn’t messaged or said anything about him.
So, as nervous as it made me, Christmas Eve was necessary. Ryder was Ethan’s father. He wasn’t going anywhere and we were together. Not that we had put any kind of label on our situation. But come on, I was his emergency contact when he got arrested.
Tiffany sat back once more. “It's a good thing you’ve been working at Salinger this last while. Can you imagine trying to get the time off for this.”
It had been something I’d been thinking about. Between the shoot for the music video and the concert, I would’ve put a strain on the department. The shift changes I would’ve needed to manage would have been difficult.
“Yeah. It's something I need to consider in the future.”
“What do you mean?” Maggie narrowed her eyes at me before turning back to the road. “Are you considering leaving the force?”
I let out a sigh and voiced the thoughts which had been playing around in my head. “I don’t know where Ryder and I will lead. I know how I feel and where I want things to go. But for that to happen, my life needs to be a little less rigid. This won’t be the last time he’s in concert and Ethan is with him. I get that at Salinger Security there’s a chance I may be away from home but…” Besides being the best in the business when it came to contraband shipments investigations, the company still took on a handful of hostage rescue situations as well as being one of the go-to companies when it came to military extraction.
“Nick Salinger is not the police department.”
“Despite what he may think.”
As we pulled up to the stadium, I directed Maggie with the instructions Ryder had given me. Each time we were stopped, I flashed my VIP pass and someone allowed us to continue. After many turns and what felt like driving in circles, a security guard finally smiled at me. “Ms. Bauman, Mr. Hawkins is looking forward to seeing you.” He waved at another man in uniform who jogged over. “This is Rudy. If you hand him your keys, he’ll make sure your car is securely parked and I will escort you and your friends to the VIP section of the stadium.”
I nodded and smiled at my friends. “Damn, fancy.”
I handed over my keys and followed the man in uniform.
The VIP section looked like nothing more than a very large tent. As we stepped inside, I spotted a celebrity couple walking over to the table toward the back.
It wasn’t until Maggie squealed that I realized it was so much more than a tent with a table. “Ooh, snacks.”
“Maggie.” Tiffany dropped her voice to a low hiss. “These people will smell blood if we act as if we’re not used to this. Turn too much and you’ll find designer drugs right alongside the bar.”
Maggie rolled her eyes but dropped her shoulders. “You may have grown up being used to this, but some of us are excited to be treated like VIPs. What do you want from the bar? I think they do cocktails.”
It took me less than a few seconds to think. “Fuck it. I can have one cocktail and then water. Get me a Long Island Iced Tea. I can have one and still be sober when Ethan gets back here.”
She turned to Tiffany. “And you?”
“Strawberry Daiquiri.”
Maggie let out a chuckle. “Of course.”
It was true, Tiffany and her brother Theo grew up in the lap of luxury. It wasn’t until she found out all the horrible things her father had done that she rejected his money. The weird thing was, Theo had wanted out a lot earlier. He was all set to join the academy with me since being a cop had been his childhood dream. Then, in a matter of days after their father’s will was read, he’d taken the helm at Snow Enterprises, the largest distributor of weapons in the Northern Hemisphere. The problem was, that despite the demise of his dad, Darren Snow, I was almost certain that not all their dealings were strictly legal.
I brushed off that thought and resolved to have a fun night out with two of my closest friends. Ryder had booked a hotel room for each of them to spend the night. Even Zoe got her own room. Of course, Ethan and I would be spending the night in his suite. The girls and I would drive back to Marina De Ferrier the next day along with Ethan.
Tiffany was right of course. The spread that had been put on in the VIP suite was a lot more than I expected. Hors d'oeuvres and fancy sparkling water filled a table along one end of the tent. There were a couple people in the back who drew my attention. I could flash my badge, not that I had it with me. But even so, that could make things all kinds of awkward. Better I stayed where I was and maintain some plausible deniability.
“Zoe, you stay away from the back corners,” I whispered as I looked around, clocking all the places where something could be going down. My brow raised as I turned my gaze on Tiffany and Maggie. “You two, as well. The last thing I need is to be implicated in anything illegal going down.”
Tiffany rolled her eyes “Switch off for the night. Everything will work out fine.”
Another celebrity couple strolled into the tent. I recognized their daughter from the tabloid photographs as she stood between them. Her dad bent down. “You stay here with your mother and I, okay.”
Yeah, he knew what happened at events such as these. My only solace was that many people in the tent were high profile and didn’t want to get caught doing something illegal. Still, I was glad that Ethan would be backstage for most of the show.
I didn’t catch the name of the opening act as the girls nattered about our lives. Each of us could find something to complain about. Mine was my job as an officer.
“I just hate feeling like the entire department needs adjustment if I need to stay off with Ethan or something.” I took a sip of the drink Maggie handed me. “I’ve really enjoyed the flexibility of working at Salinger. Between my job and my love life, I feel like everything is up in the air.”
Maggie shook her head. “At least you have a love life to talk about. The last man I slept with is apparently up for parole in a few months.”
“What?” I turned and frowned at her. “Who said that?”
“That’s what Charlie and Keith were taunting me about the night they were in the bar.”
Tiffany was also confused. “And no one informed you?”
“They don’t have to. We’re divorced and he signed over the rights to his kids. I don’t have any right to any information.”
Maggie was right. And while I was glad she and her kids were rid of that asshole, it meant she would get blindsided like she did that night at the bar.
“Can’t you file a restraining order.” Tiffany looked as concerned as I felt.
I shook my head. “She can’t. He never hurt her physically and even the verbal assaults didn’t rise to the level of harassment.”
Maggie rolled her eyes. “And apparently, cheating is not grounds for anything except divorce and that was only made easier because he was in prison. At least I don’t have to subject my children to him.”
“What about you?” I turned to Tiffany. “I’m guessing you broke up with Mr. No-Idea-Where-The-Clit-is?”
Zoe groaned on her other side. “Do you guys have to talk about this?
Tiffany stifled a smile before she turned to her sister. Technically, Theo was her and their younger brother, Joshua’s, guardian. Still, Tiffany always made time for them
“This is an important issue. Granted, you don't need to be around men who know their way around a vagina.”
Zoe covered her face and tried to ignore her sister.
It was true, Tiffany dated a lot and had no problem with the third date rule. In fact, the woman would put out on the first date if the situation was right. It was surprising she had been in somewhat of a relationship with a man who was… well, a bit quick to be done.
“Yeah. I went on another date a few nights ago. I knew with our first drink that wasn’t going to work. He chewed ice. That is just weird.”
“Oh.” I bit back a smile. “You will find any excuse to rule a guy out, won’t you?”
She sagged her shoulders. “I think I need to take a break from dating for a while. I have been dating since I was a freshman. It's exhausting.”
She wasn’t wrong. I’d given up on anything more than a one night stand a while back. It wasn’t until Ryder waltzed back into my life that I considered getting involved with someone. As for Maggie, she’d thought she found the one. Of course, we all knew better, but no one walked into a marriage thinking of divorce.
Before the two of them could continue to wallow, the lights went dark. Spotlights twirled across the stage and then Ryder appeared in a haze of dry ice and strobe lights. God, he was magnificent.
His light blue jeans and black short sleeve button down looked low-key but it still managed to showcase how well he was built. From my vantage point I could tell how much he played with the crowd, and damn, if it wasn’t one hell of a turn on.
His first song was an upbeat number I already knew the words to. The crowd sang along. I was in awe of how many already knew the words since the album was only released the week before.
As the song finished, he took a bow. He called out to the crowd, one hand in the air, the other holding the mic. “Hello everybody.” The stadium erupted in whoops and hollers. “My name is Ryder Hawkins. And welcome to the New Horizon Tour.”
The crowd roared once more. And his gaze moved from one side of the stadium to the other. He stopped when his eyes landed on me and his smile widened. He gave me a quick wink and everything inside me melted.