Chapter 13
This week really needed to end.
The last two had trudged by with all the speed of a snail on sedatives. I’d managed to make exactly zero progress in my training sessions with the General.
He just rambled on with his nonsense, speaking like some kind of monk, who could navigate the inner workings of my mind if I could only concentrate, or if I could only seek out the source of my focus.
And there was me. Sitting like a vegetable, not feeling a single spark of energy or a single pulse of essence.
The urge to strangle one another by the end of each session had become palpable.
My mornings at the Apothecary hadn’t given me much respite with the not-so-subtle glances from Ma and the stifling feeling of words left unspoken.
I had been overjoyed when Eron stopped by for a visit–all the attention shifting to his new fatherhood.
“I’m shocked to see that you’re alive after the reaction from Ma the other day. I’d have thought something seriously awful happened to you.” Eron smiled as he approached my desk and handed me a few parcels.
“Well, as you can see, I’m in one piece.” I held my arms out to the side and shrugged.
Ma shot him a narrowed look and Eron let out a chuckle.
“Anything exciting in there?” He asked as I fumbled through the packages.
“Actually, there is, Ma, those bark samples you ordered finally came in!” I called out, hoping to see some semblance of joy light up her face.
“Oh good. Took them long enough.” She huffed, face unchanging. I sat back in my seat and sighed.
“I’ll just need you to sign for those,” Eron said as he reached out to hand me a piece of parchment. The sleeve of his shirt shifted, revealing his Riftborne branding. My eyes lingered on it momentarily. Osta always kept hers hidden, so I was used to only seeing my own.
Eron cleared his throat and readjusted his sleeve, giving me a slight smile. I took a deep breath and signed Ma’s name to the paperwork before handing it back to him.
Eron and Jacquelina were in the group of children brought to Luminaria after the squashed Rebellion.
Eron was ten when the uprising came to its tumultuous end.
Jacquelina was seven. They were the oldest kids in our shared group home with the Fairbanks, the youngest two being Osta, who was a mere infant, and a three-year-old me.
Eron invited Osta and I to dinner that upcoming weekend, so we could see Jacquelina and the newborn.
I readily accepted for both of us, knowing Osta would never pass up the opportunity to meet a baby.
Plus, she had always been closer with the couple.
I had drifted apart from everyone except for Osta after what happened at the river.
After seeing Eron, I found myself back at mental torture practice. And today, the General seemed less amused than ever. At least there were no more pretenses. Now, we just simmered in our complete and unadulterated loathing for each other.
It was honest.
I could tell that whatever patience he had mustered for the day was hanging on by a thread.
“What is your focus anyways?” I asked, my lack of patience a rival to his own.
“That knowledge is above your paygrade,” he replied flatly.
“I’m not being paid for this.”
“My point exactly. Enough with the questions. I’m about at my wit's end. And I’d prefer to actually make some progress today,” he snapped, annoyance etching into his forehead.
I closed my eyes, attempting to concentrate a few seconds more before I groaned, slumping down into my seat. This was an endless, pointless cycle. I clicked my teeth.
The room became suddenly cold and silent. I could tell by the look on his face that he was deep in thought, and it didn’t seem like it was going to end well for me.
“You know, if I hadn’t seen what you did in the Grove, I wouldn’t think you had even a speck of power in you.
I see nothing of value. I can’t even sense it,” he stated, a newfound harshness in his tone had my eyes flying open.
My body snapped to full attention as a mix of anger and shame flushed my cheeks.
I knew I was a lost cause, but hearing it from the mouth of the man who just last week had been so sure he could fix me… well, it didn’t feel great. I slowly shifted my gaze to the mirror, straightening as I saw my defeated posture, my arms wrapped around my middle. Like I was hiding.
I leaned back and crossed my arms. If he was going there, I’d meet him halfway.
It was the least I could do.
“ I’m sorry , but weren’t you the one who tracked me down and all but forced me into these training sessions?”
“That was when I thought you’d at least put in a shred of effort. Don’t pretend you’re trying, Fia. It’s laughable.” His voice was sharp, hacking its way through my already tense thoughts. Exasperation drenched his eyes.
“Maybe you’re just not good at your job,” I spat.
The General stared at me with a clenched jaw. He shifted back in his chair and exhaled slowly, calming himself and cracking his knuckles before running a hand through his hair.
“Your kind is always the most difficult to train.” The cruel words on his lips were made all the more infuriating by his sudden calmness.
“You mean Riftborne ?” I seethed, rising from my chair.
He stood abruptly, and I almost stumbled back. We were so close I could feel the heat radiating off him. I had to lift my chin to continue my glare. My blood began to simmer.
“No Fia. I’m talking about people who are too stubborn to help themselves. You’re impossible. It’s pathetic, really.”
My fists clenched at my sides as I took a steadying breath. I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of knowing his words affected me so much. I wouldn’t let this be the reason I lost control. It was a small act of defiance.
“I’m only here because you gave me no other choice.” My words were laced with a special kind of loathing I reserved only for him.
He looked down at me coldly, his breathing slightly uneven. If he moved even an inch forward, he would be touching me, and I’d have an excuse to knock him on his ass.
I wondered if he could track my thoughts because he shifted his face to mine, only a breath away.
“If you want to keep up the disrespect, leave. We’ll see what happens to you then.” His voice was a growl.
My eyes narrowed. “You know what? I think I will leave. I’m done.” I turned away quickly, desperate to escape his gaze.
Racing to the bench, I snatched my bag before storming towards the door, unable to bear another moment in this suffocating room .
“You’re right. This was all a waste of time.”
The finality of his words sunk in as I bolted into the cold, night air.