Chapter 10
Alice
D oes Jake really want to go there?
I swallow. I guess we’re finally doing this.
“Did I do something specific to hurt you? Because if I did, that sucks and I’m sorry.” He glances up from his cards.
I blink at him. Does he not remember what they did to me? He sits completely still waiting for me to speak. The only noise in the room is the scattered rhythm of rain hitting the roof again. The memories rush back in a tidal wave, and my heartbeat thuds in my ears.
“Allow me to jog your memory. It started around the time you joined the basketball team and began sitting with the guys at lunch. You and Danielle were still constantly hanging out together on weekends without me. She got to keep being treated like your best friend. But all of a sudden, I was just nothing.”
Jake flinches and worry lines crease his forehead. “You were never nothing. I thought you were my friend, too. Then one day you just…weren’t. And it didn’t seem like you wanted to be. It felt like you started to hate me.”
“I did. Well, that’s too harsh. I didn’t hate you, exactly, but I was hurt when you ditched me. Especially for your teammates.”
“You were hurt because I made other friends?” He seems confused, but it feels like he is genuinely trying to understand.
It sounds so petty and stupid when he says it like that. Of course, our friendship didn’t disappear overnight because he hung out with Danielle and his teammates more than he hung out with me. If that were all, I’m sure I’d be over it by now, but that was only the beginning.
“Jake, be real. It’s not like my animosity came out of nowhere. Those new friends of yours almost ruined my life. And to this day you still call me ‘head lice.’ It doesn’t exactly inspire warmth and tenderness. Let’s not pretend this has been completely one-sided, okay?”
He seems to let my words sink in, and it takes a few seconds before he speaks again. “I’m going to need a lot more information about that first point before I can respond to it. But does it really bother you when I call you Lousy?” He can’t be serious, and yet he is.
“Gee. Why would it bother someone if kids started calling her ‘head lice’ in middle school?”
He lets out a long breath. “Shit. That’s a long time for you to carry that. I didn’t mean anything by it. I thought you knew I was teasing. Although, I realize my intention is irrelevant if I actually did hurt your feelings. I’m sorry.”
Dammit. Now I’m crying. I didn’t realize how much I needed him to acknowledge that and apologize.
“Alice,” he says softly, like he’s testing the way my real name feels. “We don’t have to talk about this anymore if you don’t want to. I really am sorry.”
My heart clenches and I nod at him. “Me, too. At least for the name-calling and stuff. I know I’ve done that to you, too.” I wipe a tear away with my palm.
“You didn’t do anything I didn’t deserve,” he assures me.
Yesterday I would have agreed with that statement. Now, I’m not so sure. It’s funny how much can change in a day. Jake looks at me, and the sincerity in those deep brown eyes melts a layer of ice away from my heart.
I shake my head. “Forget it. We’re good. Bygones or whatever. Let’s get back to the game, yeah?”
Jake hesitates as if he wants to say something else, but then he nods, looks back down at his hand, and puts down a five. We continue in a steady rhythm until I slam my ace down on his king. I’m out of cards. I win.
“Okay, Ace. I see how it is.” He chuckles. I lock eyes with him again, and we both smile. “Looks like we found you a new nickname,” Jake says as he collects the cards to start a new round.