Chapter 3
three
JULIAN
I lied. When Camilla asked how long it’d been since we last saw each other, I lied when I said I lost count. It had been two thousand, two hundred and fifty-seven days. After so long without someone, you start to go a little stir-crazy. I’d been hallucinating her for years, so I had to make sure she was real when I saw her in that bookstore. I never forgot the depth of her blue eyes, which reminded me of the waves we used to watch together, or how her smile could make anyone crumble. She might’ve changed her hair and worn a little more makeup, but she was still Mila.
She was nearly three thousand miles away for six years, yet when we were only a few doors down from each other, the unspoken words between us made it feel like she was the farthest she’d ever been. The constant reminder that I was the one to blame for our disconnect made it nearly impossible to sleep that night.
After tossing and turning for hours, I got out of bed and leaned against the window overlooking the same view I’d seen every day, but my heart lurched when I saw her silhouette glowing under the moonlight as she watched the high tides from the sand. If there was one thing you could always count on, it was that you’d always find Mila by the ocean. Without a second thought, I hurried out my front door and down the grass hill to join her. I wasn’t surprised when she didn’t notice my presence at first, since nothing else existed once she got lost in the sounds around her.
I didn’t think it was possible, but her beauty was even more ethereal than before. Her hair was shorter and dyed a rich honey color that only enhanced the rest of her perfect features, and her smile lit up brighter than the moonlight shining down on us. I questioned how I survived so long without it, and took mental photos in case I’d never get to see her that way again.
“I didn’t expect to see you out here.” Her shoulders eased when I approached her. “Hey. I’m just taking advantage of the empty beach.” She shoved her hands in the pockets of her oversized cardigan.
“Couldn’t sleep?” I asked.
“Actually, I just woke up. I guess I’m still on New York time. You?”
“It’s a rough night. I thought a walk on the beach might clear my head.” I left out the part about not being able to sleep because it was driving me stir-crazy to know we were under the same roof.
She nudged further down the beach that stretched for miles. “I’ll walk with you. I have some thoughts to clear up too.” As I watched her bare feet seep into the sand with every step; it took me back to when we were two teenagers plunging into the cold waters after dark without a care in the world of what was ahead of us.
“I wasn’t expecting you to be the same.” She spoke over the sounds of water crashing on the rocks nearby.
“What do you mean?”
She smiled tenderly. “You’re still you, just…grown up. It’s a good thing, but I could do without that crap on your face, though.”
I chuckled while running my fingers over my stubble beard in desperate need of a groom. “Cut me some slack. It took me three years to grow this.” Our laughter echoed until it died off as she took in the view. I wished we could’ve just stayed there so I wouldn’t have to wake up and watch her leave for a second time.
“Do you miss anything, Mila?” My question surprised us both, but she tried to recover. “Definitely this view.”
“Anything else?” We both knew what I was implying, but neither of us said it out loud.
Her face fell before she spoke softly. “The city has everything I want. I have a great job, great friends. Everything is great.” Even years later, I could still read her like a book, so I wasn’t fully convinced, but I kept the thought to myself. “That’s…great.”
The silence loomed as we continued through the soft sand until she changed the subject. “I can’t believe you did it.”
My brows furrowed. “Did what?”
“The house. It’s not even done yet, but it’s beautiful.” My heart thudded against my chest when her face split into a grin.
“I owed it to you to fix it.” Her steps halted, and I watched her swallow hard before turning to face me. I knew I shouldn’t have said it, but I had nothing else to lose.
“I uhh…should get inside. I have an early flight,” she started back up the hill, but I craved her closeness, so I called after her in hopes she’d stay there with me. “I’m happy for you. You did what you said you always wanted to, Mila.” Something in the air shifted, and it wasn’t the wind. Her blue eyes lacked their normal shine when they met mine again. “Not everything.” She mumbled, and then she was gone.
I stayed in the same spot until the sun rose that morning, thinking of everything I should have confessed, not knowing how different everything would have played out if I had.