Chapter 21
twenty-one
CAMILLA
It wasn’t until Taylor nudged me on the shoulder that I noticed I was staring at Julian and Lauren laughing together at the bar. What could she be saying that was so funny?
“Lauren flirts with everyone in town, but she’s innocent, don’t worry,” she said before sipping on her cocktail.
“What makes you think I’m worried? He can flirt with who he wants.”
Her grin had mischief written all over it. “Did you forget we’ve known each other our entire lives? I know when something is bothering you, Cami.” The first couple of days trying to earn back Taylor’s friendship were bumpy, but we’d finally gotten to a place where it felt like the old us.
Still, I couldn’t tell her why I was spiraling. I didn’t want to admit seeing Julian and Lauren together brought up uncertainty I thought I was past. It took me four years to make peace with the fact that Julian had probably moved on after I left town. When I came back and found out he hadn’t, I grieved for the version of myself that agonized over wanting to pick up the phone, and constantly went through scenarios of what could’ve been.
“The only thing bothering me is the lack of shots at our table.” I waved down the waitress taking orders. “Can you keep the tequila shots coming? Thank you.”
I hardly drank. The most I’d ever had was a few glasses of wine and whatever was spiked in the punch at a school dance, but that night was an exception, and it wasn’t only because we were there to celebrate.
“It’s okay to still have feelings for him, you know? Your first love is the hardest to forget, or so I’m told.”
Julian was the first person I gave my heart to. He taught me that love could be scary but also beautiful. Greyson loved me when I was afraid of letting anyone in, and he mended a heart he didn’t break. My mind racked over which love was stronger.
“Julian and I are practically strangers. The person he knows doesn’t exist anymore, Tay.” I nearly choked on the last words.
“Strangers don’t look at each other the way you guys do.” I threw back another shot to drown her words out. The last thing I wanted when I came to Willow’s Cove was to dig up the past, and it seemed as if it was happening all on its own. If I was going to endure the night, I had to make sure I didn’t remember it in the morning.
* * *
Being with Sofia and Taylor under the lights of the dance floor reminded me of senior prom when the three of us danced the night away before going off on our own paths. In a way, it was the same circumstance because in a matter of days, I’d go back to my life in New York, and they’d continue theirs in Willow’s Cove; but for that moment, we were together.
When the waitress came back with another round of tequila shots, I shot it back despite the room beginning to slow. It was like I was possessed with the inability to stop. The more I looked over at Julian and Lauren, who had been sitting together for almost an hour, the worse I felt.
“You don’t look so good, Cami. Let’s go sit down,” Sofia shouted over the blaring music as she and Taylor dragged me back to the table. “I’m fine.”
“You can barely keep your eyes open. Don’t move while we get you some water.” They left me alone at the table as I fought not to look over at the bar while the room spun.
“Shit.” I realized how overboard I’d gone, and if I didn’t sober up, I’d have to be carried out of the bar. What the hell was wrong with me? I’d moved on with Greyson, who I was going back home to in a couple of days, so why did I care so much if Julian moved on too?
“Camilla Vega?” I looked over my shoulder to find where the deep voice came from, but I didn’t recognize their face. “Do I know you?”
“Alex Young. We had math together freshman and sophomore year.” I wasn’t sure if it was my bad memory or the alcohol, but the name didn’t ring a bell. “I would always ask to copy your tests.”
It wasn’t until he brushed his blonde, wavy hair back and flashed a charming smile that I faintly remembered he played the trumpet in the school’s marching band. He’d asked me out a few times and I said no. “Now I remember. You asked to copy off my final and I said no.”
His laughter carried over the loud voices around us. “Yeah, that’s me. It’s so funny running into you. Didn’t you move to New York or something?”
“I still live there. I’m just visiting for a wedding.” I tried to keep a straight face when I felt bile travel up my throat.
“The Willow wedding, right? Don’t you know Sofia from when you dated her brother?”
I groaned. Even talking to a stranger couldn’t distract me from Julian. “Yeah, but that was a long time ago.”
His lips tipped up into a crooked smirk. “I had the biggest crush on you back in high school, but Julian got to you first.” I faked a smile and looked around for anyone who could pull me out of the conversation. Where the hell were Sofia and Taylor?
“Do you wanna dance?” He grabbed my wrist and tried to pull me out of my chair before I could answer.
“I’m okay. I’m just waiting for my friends to come back.” I tried to stay alert while the room faded in and out, but my body started to go limp.
“Come on, just one dance.”
“Really, I’m okay.” Trying to free myself from his iron grip made me remember his unsettling persistence in high school. Some people didn’t change.
“Do we have a problem?” I took a breath of relief when Taylor’s voice came from behind me and she stood in the middle of me and Alex.
“Not at all, I was just asking her to dance.” He said.
“You were gonna take her to dance when she can’t even stand on her own?” Sofia’s voice was curt when she chimed in. I chugged down the water they put on the table, but I could still feel the alcohol taking over, making my vision blur.
“How about you two just go back to whatever you were doing?”
“How about you fuck off? That sounds like a better idea.” Taylor yanked his grip away from my wrist, while Sofia stood in front of me as a shield.
“Is everything okay over here?” I could hardly see at that point, but I immediately knew the voice was Julian from his warm touch on my back. “Great, I’m assuming you’re here to save the day? This doesn’t concern you, Julian.” Alex tried to meet his gaze with a challenge, but Julian towered over him, making him look intimidating.
“It does now.”
I knew I was seconds away from fainting when everything around me started to sound muffled, but I managed to get out one word. “Julian.” My feet were no longer on the ground when he swooped me into his arms and effortlessly carried me towards the exit.
“Don’t worry, we got it from here.” I heard another voice I assumed was Levi.
“I got you, Mila. Let’s go home.” His woodsy scent wrapped around me as I sank more into his arms.
“Home,” I whispered before everything went black.
* * *
It felt like I’d only been asleep for a few minutes before I startled awake as Julian lowered me into bed. The graze of his hand on my arm when he draped a blanket made my skin ignite, but it was quickly overshadowed by the wave of nausea that rushed through me. “I’m never drinking again,” I mumbled.
The room was dark, but the moonlight coming in from the window illuminated his tender smile.“You never could hold your alcohol, Mila.” He held a strand of my hair in between his fingers before he caressed my cheek. “Shit, sorry. I keep breaking the rules.”
I sighed. “You’re not the only one.” Even as my head rested on the pillow, the room spun violently. “I’m sorry for ruining your night with Lauren.”
He shook his head but kept the smile on his face. “You didn’t. We’re just friends.”
“You looked like a little more than friends at the bar.” I blamed my boldness on the alcohol still in my system.
He moved to the spot next to me and laid on his side to burn his brown eyes into mine. He looked at me the same way he did when we were just two kids blindly in love. “Why do you care so much?”
“I don’t,” I said defensively. My heart jolted when he inched so close, I could feel his natural heat radiating off him. “If I’m being honest, we were talking about you.”
I was spooked with curiosity. “What about me?”
He gulped. “Do you ever think about what your life would be like if we worked out, Mila?”
I’d always felt like our story was unfinished, but after four years, I faced reality he wasn’t coming to find me. “I try not to. If we had, there wouldn’t have been Greyson.”
I memorized Julian’s features, wondering if I had truly let him go, or if I just pushed him deep into the depths of my mind, where I couldn’t acknowledge the invisible string that pulled me to him.
A frown set into his face as he traced the outlines of my cheek. “If I did the right thing when it came to you, we’d have that life we talked about.” My breath hitched.
When he said things like that, it was easy to fall under an illusion, but reality was, in a matter of days, I was going back to New York to live the life he gave me no choice to build without him. So many questions sat on my tongue, but my eyes felt heavy as I fought exhaustion.
“Get some sleep, Mila. We’ll talk more tomorrow.” He draped another blanket over me before trying to slip out of my room.
“Can you stay with me?”
He settled in to the pillow next to me. “For as long as you want me to.” His faint whisper was the last thing I heard before my eyes slowly shut.