Chapter 31
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
Elise
D ancing in Luc’s arms? Lovely. Dreamy. A magical experience on a night that ended up feeling less like an obligation and more like a fairytale.
His grandfather had simply ignored him at dinner, but he hadn’t been overtly aggressive. Michele and Aurelie had kept conversation flowing and they’d done it flawlessly. I could listen to them talk all day between their accents and storytelling and Michele’s silly romanticism.
We’d all gone home together, back to Luc’s beautiful house, and just like the night before, we’d gotten ready one at a time, taking turns in the bathroom and sliding into bed.
But I didn’t place the pillow barrier between us because I didn’t need to. More and more, I had to admit I’d never felt safer with anyone.
My little fantasies and movies I made up were safe. They’d been a diversion from the total lack of desire for real romance for a while now. But Luc… Luc was safe, too, and not because he was fiction.
He was real.
He was considerate of me in every possible instance, protective but not in a way that made me feel crowded or weak, and he seemed to… well, sometimes I caught this look in his eyes I swear meant he wanted me.
Like I very much wanted him.
What did all of this mean? How did I handle the fact that this fake relationship had sneakily shifted into something more real than anything I’d ever had? I had no idea.
I’d shifted from watching little stories in my head to living one out in my life, too, now, possibly embodying the role of female lead in a dream that felt more and more like I was awake. And I simply didn’t know how to process that.
But waking up in Luc’s arms?
Heaven.
Yeah. We’d ended up nested together, finding each other in the night and holding each other. Waking up cocooned in his warmth had been a dream. An absolutely comforting, safe dream.
Right until I zeroed in on his hand splayed over the bare skin of my stomach and how our bodies were cradled together rather intimately. His steady breathing told me he was still asleep, but it would be wrong to stay here, wouldn’t it? I shouldn’t let myself snooze in the wondrous warmth of his arms while I was conscious and he likely had no idea we were spooning like professionals, should I?
A contented sigh slipped out, and his warm breath on my neck sent a shiver through me. Then he said something in French, his arms tightened around me, and I died.
Fine, I didn’t die, but I was very nearly going to expire from… feelings. Lots of feelings in all directions and all of them rather delicious and all of them… mine. Not a character. Not a princess or a maiden or an enamored heroine, but me.
But one thought flared out over the dark messy sea of my desire and longing—caution. I needed to proceed with caution.
All of this was supposed to be for appearances, and there was no one in here checking to make sure we were behaving like almost married people did. No, this was all behind the scenes.
When I agreed to this, it wasn’t like I couldn’t see how gorgeous Luc was. I’d thought he was too handsome to be real the first time I’d seen him and that hadn’t changed much. Now I knew about his small scar and the miniscule imperfections that made him less like an AI fancast of himself, sure, but I hadn’t thought my desire to be with someone would change.
I hadn’t thought I could meet someone I’d feel like trying again with. But here I was, not only savoring his physical closeness, but wishing I could burrow into his heart, too. Wishing he felt a little of what I had because my bruised little walled-off heart had softened to him. I’d become… open.
That thought had me moving and, strangely, tears pricking my eyes as I went, grabbing clothes and slipping into the bathroom to get ready.
Clearly, all the cuddling had gone to my head.
Because this was fake. Maybe I’d opened up to the idea of something real… maybe someday. But all of this was fake, and I needed to keep that in the forefront of my mind, or I’d drive myself crazy.
Last night, Callum saw us together. He got the message that, whether he liked it or not, he was not the man for me. I’d gotten exactly what I needed from the bargain.
I needed to talk this out and thank goodness it just so happened to be book club again tonight.
* * *
We’d discussed our book, chatting and laughing and so happy to have Liz back with us. I’d also managed to not talk about myself at all, but when Dove leveled her gaze at me and raised those blond brows, I couldn’t pretend I didn’t know what she was talking about.
“So, you may have heard that Luc and I are fake-engaged right now.” Why not just put it all right out there?
Dove grinned and rubbed her hands together. Jo, Nikki, Winnie, and Catherine all nodded and murmured their awareness. Liz raised one brow ready for more, and Jess crossed her arms.
“Yeah, let’s get into it. Jude said you guys were glued together on the dance floor and even kissed, so sounds like the deception is going really well.” There was accusation in her tone, but it wasn’t mean-spirited. Jess liked honesty and I didn’t blame her.
“Sorry, but why is this happening? I think maybe I missed that,” Nikki admitted.
With a big sigh, I launched in. “You didn’t miss anything. I didn’t share anything because I was chicken.” I made a face, and they all chuckled, bless them. “Luc asked me to pose as his fiancée because his family is pressuring him to marry someone, which sounds insane and kind of is. That said, he comes from a very prestigious family and his sister did marry the man chosen for her, so there is a precedent.”
Everyone absorbed that while Dove clapped gleefully. “It’s the perfect set up for a marriage of convenience, right? He marries the woman his grandfather chose for him despite his wishes…” She swoons back into her seat on the sofa.
“Except for the part where he gets fake-engaged to me because he refuses to go along with it. So.” I held my arms wide. “Here I am, Mrs. Jean-Luc Devereaux to be.”
Jess squinted. “Devereaux? I thought his last name was Doux?”
“Apparently, he legally changed it? Or something? I don’t know. But his family name is Devereaux as in…”
“The conglomerate that owns multiple billion-dollar companies?” Nikki asked, right as Liz said, “I knew his clothes were fancy.”
“Yeah. He has money, to say the least.” I shifted, the reminder sending a swipe of discomfort through me. He didn’t seem to think his grandfather would release the trust to him now that things had soured so completely, but I hoped it would turn around. Even without it, he was set up very well financially.
“So you’re his fake fiancée for this deal, but you’re also dating?” Winnie asked, curiosity ringing through her words more than any shades of judgment.
“He doesn’t want anything serious, and I certainly don’t either.” Dove gave me a look and after swallowing hard, I added, “Didn’t.”
I couldn’t have anticipated the way saying those words— doesn’t want anything serious— pained me now. I’d felt sure it was the best possible scenario when he’d proposed it. I’d doubled down on it, reminding him I didn’t date and didn’t want to. Now…
Jess clapped once, Liz, Catherine, and Nikki grinned, Dove raised her glass high in celebration, and Jo and Winnie shared knowing glances.
“But that’s what I need to talk about. What am I doing? I mean, I’m barely done disentangling myself from Callum.” At the heart of my worry was exactly that—what if Luc really was too good to be true?
“When did you and Callum break up?” Nikki asked, usually the first to focus on tangible things, God bless her.
“It’s been almost eighteen months since our main break up, and over eight months since I finally stopped being reeled back in.” We’d been together almost three years by that point, and I cringed thinking about all that time wasted.
“Are you still tangled up in feelings for him?” Winnie asked, her words gentle.
“Callum? Gosh, no. I feel frustrated I ever let myself get wrapped up in him, and I don’t want to repeat that, or my mom’s pattern.”
They knew a little about my mom and most of them aside from Liz had witnessed me working through some of the process of distancing myself from him. I hadn’t wanted them to see—hadn’t even willingly let them, but from this point of view, it seemed so foolish. Like I’d lost out on their support and love, and now all I wanted was to tell them everything.
Or, if not everything, then most of it. Definitely about Luc, because I didn’t know how to handle this.
“A relationship like that is bound to have some fallout. If you’re not ready, you’re not ready, but only you can say whether you are or not.” Catherine tended to be quiet, but when she spoke, we all listened.
“Agreed. If you feel ready for something, then you’re ready,” Jess confirmed.
Dove leaned over and reached for my hand, grasping it when I set mine in hers. “And if you’re not sure you’re ready, but you’re feeling like you want to be… that you want anything with him, that’s a huge sign.”
Her sparkly blue eyes were seconds away from getting teary. I could hear it in her voice. My sweet best friend who’d supported me as much as I’d let her and was holding so much up herself. I hugged her, holding her tight and whispering my thanks.
No one else knew the true extent of my disinterest in anything romantic. I’d made jokes about not wanting to date, even declarations at times, but I hadn’t told anyone but Dove how unappealing even the possibility of romance sounded… except that little inkling Luc had always sparked in me.
Some of it made no sense, and some was linked directly to how crappy Callum had been. But the point was, it’d all happened so seamlessly with Luc.
Maybe it was because he’d been eating in front of me for months? Maybe because he’d proven to be protective but not bossy, careful but not coddling, and this might’ve made me pathetic but I felt it down to my toes… he seemed to want me. I didn’t know to what extent, but he seemed to genuinely enjoy being around me, choose to be around me, and not have a list of things he’d like me to change. Maybe it could simply be what it was—the distraction I’d set out for it to be, the fantasy come to life, for now. The first mission had been accomplished—Callum had seen us very clearly together. And the rest…
Luc and I didn’t make sense on paper any more than we did in real life, but in this little fairytale I’d gotten caught up in? Maybe I could let myself enjoy it. Since I already knew we had an ending, it wouldn’t be a surprise. I also wouldn’t—literally couldn’t —get swept up in something that turned rotten.
A practically perfect plan.
“Luc’s a great guy. I say that confidently,” Jess said, and her knowledge of him both as a Saint employee now and a former EMU member meant a lot.
“He really is,” Jo agreed.
“He’s one of Kenny’s favorite people on Earth, so that speaks well of him,” Liz said, her smile fond.
“I don’t know exactly how this will play out. But maybe I just… enjoy it.”
They all cheered, and I laughed, joy filling me to the brim as I embraced their excitement and, maybe even better, my own.
Now to find out what Luc had to say about it.