Chapter 1 #2
“No,” I say quickly. “I’m taking the summer to sort out my future and plan my next steps.”
“What’s there to sort out?” Derek snaps. “You go to school, graduate, and get a job.” He points at me. “You’re not supposed to be here.”
Levi heaves out a sigh. “Do Mom and Dad know?”
“That I took a leave of absence or that I’m here?” I ask, ignoring the hurt that’s taken root in my stomach at Derek’s words.
“Either. Both.” Levi crosses his arms over his chest, giving me the big brother routine.
I roll my eyes. “Yes, they know I’m taking a break. No, they don’t know I’m here.”
“You need to go home,” Levi commands. He rakes his fingers through his hair, looking down as if I’m a problem he needs to deal with. As if my showing up to surprise him, to spend time with him, to figure out my future, is the biggest inconvenience of his life.
I arch an eyebrow. Lean forward to note the open concept living room that leads into the kitchen. I glance at the butcher block kitchen island and neat row of barstools.
Nah, Levi’s doing just fine. My presence shouldn’t rattle him, and I refuse to let it.
“You’re going to make shit between me and Mom and Dad even worse,” my brother mutters. “It’s bad enough you dropped out—”
“Took a leave of absence,” I correct.
“But you came here?” Levi’s eyes find mine. “Don’t burn your bridge home to Mom and Dad’s for me, A. I’m not worth it.”
I clasp my hands behind my back, pinching the skin at the base of my wrist to keep my composure. How did Levi make this about him? What happened to my big brother? The one who used to protect me and care about my feelings? The one who loved me unconditionally?
I squint at this new version and hardly recognize him.
I heave out an exhale. If anyone is shouldering a boulder of disappointment in this room, it’s me. I left college to figure out my future, to define what I want out of life. I thought I’d find a safe space at my brother’s but if that’s not the case, I’ll figure it out on my own.
“Fine,” I say, my voice more composed than I feel. I reach forward and jerk the suitcase handle out of Derek’s grasp. “I’ll head to Cynthia’s. She’s not too far—”
“Your friend that hooked up with the guy you liked?” Derek asks incredulously.
Levi’s eyes swing to him, confusion momentarily masking his feelings of frustration.
Even though my stomach twists at Derek’s reminder, my heart rate accelerates that he remembers. He can recall that night as quickly as I can. That must count for something, right?
Sure, Cynthia and I have a complicated relationship. In the past, I felt inferior to her, and she relished feeling superior to me. At best, we’re frenemies. Except I’m too composed to indulge in the enemy tactics she dabbles in—like hooking up with your friend’s crush at her birthday party.
But we have history. It dates to the second grade, and I know for a fact that she wouldn’t turn me away or question my decisions the way Levi and Derek are.
“Cynthia’s a mess,” Levi mutters. “Last time I saw her, guys were lining up to take body shots off her over at Taps. It’s her new thing.”
Derek mutters a string of profanities that sounds like, “that stupid fucking sports bar where the Hawks and puck bunnies hang out.”
I shrug. “I’ll still be welcomed there.” I move toward the door, my suitcase in tow.
I begin to pull it open when a strong hand plants in the center, right over my head, slamming it closed. I whirl around and inhale sharply as my chest skims across Derek’s abdomen.
He glares down at me, his whiskey eyes tumultuous. His jaw is clenched, a muscle popping.
I drag in a breath, letting his scent—fresh soap and mint—wash over me.
I lift my eyebrows in a silent question. In a challenge. Should I leave?
“No,” he replies to my non-verbal thought. “Absolutely not,” he tacks on, dropping his hand to look at my brother. “If St—Allegra stays in Boston, she stays right fucking here. Where we can keep an eye on her.”
Levi levels him with a look, thrown by Derek’s decision.
He’s silent for a long moment and it strikes me that he doesn’t question Derek the way he does me.
His gaze lands on my face. “You’ll call Mom and Dad and tell them the truth?
Last thing I need is them thinking I’ve corrupted you, brought you over to the dark side. ”
I nod. “I’ll tell them.”
“Fine,” he mutters. Then, he pulls in an inhale and his expression softens. He opens his arms and holds them out, waiting for me.
I cock my head and stare at him for a long moment, letting him feel the same rejection he just tossed my way.
After several uncomfortable seconds, he snorts. “Come on, A. Give me a fucking hug.”
Rolling my eyes, I step into his arms and give him a tight squeeze. Nostalgia rolls through me, and I remember our simple, sweet childhood. I let him hold me for an extra beat because now that I’m here, it feels nice. Safe.
“Thanks, Levi,” I murmur into the cotton of his T-shirt. I should probably be thanking Derek.
Levi chuckles, the vibration of his laughter pulsing against my cheek. “Don’t thank me yet, A. You have no clue what you’re in for.”