Chapter 26
Derek
The plane rushes down the runway and begins to ascend into the air.
My stomach bottoms out, half from the motion of the plane and half from the knowledge that there’s no way back now.
It’s done. Over.
Nausea twists my intestines and my hands curl into fists.
I keep my gaze turned outside the window, watching as Boston grows smaller. Tiny. Insignificant. Until we move above the clouds and the city, and the land, the entire country disappears altogether.
Just like Allegra.
Just like me and Allegra.
“I messaged A that we’d re-book her flight after Buck’s funeral,” Mav comments beside me.
I nod, unwilling to meet his gaze. I’m not proud that I lied to the guys and said Allegra wanted to stay behind before turning off her alarm but, it’s better this way.
Better for who? My consciousness poses the question.
I grip the armrests tighter.
“I hated leaving without saying goodbye,” Levi tacks on.
“She’s grieving,” Jameson supplies. “Derek said she was out cold so, better to let her rest.”
I nod, still not turning around. The lies I spun wrap around me like a dangerous web. It’s best if I keep my mouth shut.
“Still…” Levi trails off.
“Buck’s loss hit her hard,” Mav offers. “She’ll be out as soon as she has time to process things. Time to say good-bye.”
“I guess,” Levi says.
I don’t say anything. I don’t even look at my bandmates. Because if any of them study me closely, they’ll know I lied about the whole damn thing.
But how else could I slip away to Europe without my Stellina?
And what the hell kind of a life would that be for her?
Following us, following me, from one city to the next. Going out every night, partying. Drugs, drinking, women. Sex. So much fucking sex.
I’d never be able to protect her. Not from my demons. Not from the animal I become when the music pounds in my temples and pours from my soul. When adrenaline rushes through my veins and the chant of my name, thousands of voices and waving hands, pulses through my nervous system.
My music is everything. It’s my survival and my salvation.
She’d resent me. She’d hate me.
Hell, I’d probably make her.
Then, I’d lose the band. The guys. The only family I’ve got.
Probably deserve that too.
Yeah, I deserve the hell I’m living in, but Allegra doesn’t.
I may have hurt her but deep down, I fucking love her.
I love her.
That’s what’s fucked up about loving someone.
If it’s real and true, it means sacrificing everything.
Sacrificing yourself.
So I did.
Thank you so much for reading Rebellious Rockstar! Derek and Allegra’s intense, emotional, and epic romance continues in book two, Resentful Rockstar.