Chapter 26
Derek
I never thought I’d enjoy folding laundry. Or watching reruns of throwback sitcoms. Or hanging by my phone, waiting for a girl to call.
But Allegra isn’t any girl. She’s mine. And I love every second I spend with her.
As we settle into a real relationship, the doubts and concerns I’ve harbored for years melt away. I’m not tempted by other women. I don’t even see them. I’m not worried about balancing the band and my relationship. Allegra respects and encourages my time at the studio.
Save for Levi, even the opinions of our friends are an endorsement.
Mav hugged Allegra and slapped me on the back. “About damn time,” he quipped when we told him the news.
Allegra’s friends also welcomed me with open arms, although Mckenna squinted at me and demanded I treat her friend right. I promised I would.
After that, we partied together like we’ve been friends, a group of friends, for years. It’s normal and nostalgic. Exciting and effortless.
Mav teases Mckenna relentlessly. She ignores him completely.
Nova brings along the football player she’s seeing and he’s a cool, down-to-Earth guy.
Ivy makes outrageous demands that include bringing her on a future tour.
And Allegra? My girl smiles and laughs and spreads her sunshine. She melts into me when I hold her. She kisses me back with as much heart and heat as I pour down her throat.
She dies her hair back to its natural brown shade.
“You look gorgeous,” I tell her when she walks into my condo after her appointment at the hair salon.
She twirls her finger around the blunt ends. “It’s still a bit short but… I’m going to grow it back out.”
“I like it,” I say, meaning it. I like everything Allegra does. “Mav just went out to grab dinner. You hungry?”
She shrugs and slips onto a barstool. “I can eat.”
I nod and send off a quick text to Mav to grab some of Allegra’s favorites from the Tex-Mex restaurant we frequent.
“I’ve been thinking,” I say, sliding onto the stool beside her.
“Uh-oh.” Her voice is teasing but I note the flicker of uncertainty in her gaze.
Damn. We’re definitely making progress and Allegra has no problem being sweet and affectionate toward me, but a part of her still worries the other shoe is going to drop. And that’s on me.
I filled her with so much fucking doubt, it clouded the way she views herself. It muddled her ability to trust her own judgement. And I hate that for her.
“We should go see Levi,” I state.
Her eyes clear and she lets out a little laugh. “Oh, right. This is because I won bowling, isn’t it?”
I snicker. Wrapping my fingers around the underside of her barstool, I pull her closer until I can cage her knees in between mine. “This is because I love you and it’s important to you.”
Allegra beams. With gratitude shining in her eyes and her gorgeous hair back to its dark color, she looks like the girl I fell for in Boston. Leaning over, I press a quick kiss to her cheek. “Set up the date and time. I’ll be there.”
“Okay, well…” She pauses. “I was going to visit Levi Thursday afternoon. I have a late shift Wednesday night, but we could drive up early on Thursday?”
“Or I could pick you up Wednesday night and drive us up after your shift. We could stay at a hotel and do brunch the next morning and then visit Levi…” I trail off, gauging her reaction.
Her eyebrows tug inward. “Seriously? You want to just—”
“Have hot hotel sex with you?” I cut her off. “Yeah, I do.”
Allegra laughs. It’s the best music I’ve ever heard. “Okay. Sure. Let’s do that. I’ll see if I can leave early. If it’s not busy I may be able to head out at midnight.”
“That would be perfect,” I agree. Mentally, I’m sorting through my favorite hotels. The ones with the best beach views, brunches, swimming pools, and swim-up bars.
“Cool. Okay! I’m excited.” She’s so damn cute.
I grin. “Me too, baby.”
The front door swings open and Mav enters. “I got extra chips and guac, A!”
“Mav!” She springs from her barstool to help Mav carry in the takeout bags.
“How you doing, girl?” he asks, kissing the crown of her head.
“All good. Derek’s whisking me away this week,” she answers.
“Is he?” Mav gasps, feigning surprise as his eyes cut to mine. “Where are you taking our fair maiden?”
I snort. “We’re going to visit Levi on Thursday afternoon. Might as well have a decent brunch beforehand. Maybe a swim.”
Mav pauses and his eyes study mine for a long moment. “Good,” he says finally. “That’s good. You and Levi should talk. You need to clear the air before he finishes rehab.”
“When’s that?” I ask, completely out of the loop with my best friend, save what Allegra or Maverick divulge.
“Another two or three weeks,” Allegra responds quietly.
“Time’s ticking, Reign.” Mav’s voice holds more of a warning. Fix this shit with Levi and move past it so the rest of us can.
I lift my chin at Mav to let him know I caught his message.
He places a brown paper bag down in the center of the island. “Let’s eat.”
Allegra and I pull out the takeout containers and the three of us sit around the island, eating and talking, until Mav calls it a night.
Then, I lead my girlfriend into my bedroom and undress her slowly. I spend time moving my hands and mouth over every inch of her sweet skin. I don’t take a second of our time together for granted. Instead, I worship her, care for her, and love her the best way I know how.
When I finally find my release, her name is on my lips, her smile imprinted on my soul.
Allegra is my everything and there isn’t a damn thing I wouldn’t do for her.
“Have a safe trip,” Mav tells me as I swipe my car keys off the countertop.
“Thanks, mate. What are your plans?” I ask.
“Just hanging. May meet up with A’s friends for drinks. Ivy invited me out,” he says.
“Ivy’s a sweet girl,” I toss out, trying to get a read on Mav. Is he into one of Allegra’s friends?
“Yeah. She’s chill,” he agrees noncommittally. Then, “I think I drive Mckenna fucking nuts.” He grins. “She’s a riot.”
Ah, he’s always had a thing for redheads and with her strawberry-blonde waves and skeptical navy eyes, Mckenna Byrne could give Mav a run for his money. I grin but don’t give my two cents. “Have fun.”
“Will do. See you later.” Mav lifts a hand in farewell.
I grab the backpack I packed with my overnight necessities and clean clothes for tomorrow and head to my car.
I made reservations at a trendy boutique hotel situated right on the ocean.
It offers a delicious brunch menu and a gorgeous view of the water.
It’s fun, edgy, and private—all things I know Allegra will appreciate.
I turn my car toward Beirut, my hands tapping out a rhythm on the steering wheel. When Allegra messaged me an hour ago that her boss was letting her slip out early, my excitement jumped.
I can’t wait to spend time with my girl, away from our daily grind, and get lost for a little while. When her semester is over, I’m going to whisk her away for real. Maybe Paris. She’s always wanted to go there. Or Costa Rica. Mav has great things to say about his favorite destination.
I pull into the parking lot of the lounge and park around back. Allegra said to slip in through the back entrance and meet her by the staff lockers.
I turn off my car and approach the back door. Even though it’s nearing midnight, the area is well lit, and the door is propped open.
I knock twice just to announce my arrival. “Hello?” I call out as I enter the hallway.
“Have a good time, Allegra. Drive safe,” a male voice is saying.
“Thanks, Dex. And thanks for letting me take off early,” Allegra’s voice rings out.
I follow her voice. The hallway widens and I spot her standing in the doorframe to what I assume is her boss’s office.
“Hey,” I say.
She spins when she sees me. “You’re here!” She steps into my embrace and presses up on her tippy-toes to kiss my cheek. “Come here. You’ve gotta meet Dex.”
Allegra takes my hand and pulls me through the doorframe. The man behind the desk stands. He’s tall and formidable looking. Allegra’s spoken of him several times, but I never expected him to be so young. In his forties. Or good-looking, with stylish dark hair and deep brown eyes.
“Hey,” I say, holding out a hand. “I’m Derek.”
The man stands still, his eyes studying me with an intensity that puts me on edge. But he’s not giving off creepy vibes. Instead, his expression is almost emotional, with hope flaring in the depths of his gaze.
“Uh, Dex? This is my boyfriend, Derek…” Allegra trails off as Dex clears his throat.
He takes my hand, shaking it. His grip is firm, his shake solid. He clears his throat again and something flashes through his eyes. “Good to meet you, Derek.” His voice cracks on my name. Another clearing of his throat. “I’m Derek too. Derek Madden. But everyone calls me Dex.”
I freeze.
Derek Madden.
My so-called father.
The man who has sent me letters via his lawyer for over a fucking year.
Here, in LA, as Allegra’s boss. Or mentor. Or fucking father figure.
I glare at him, hating that we have the same whiskey-colored eyes. How the hell did he track me down? Did he know that Allegra is my girl?
Of course, he fucking knew.
I let out a harsh chuckle.
How could he not?
Is that why he hired her? Is that why she brought me here?
My gaze turns to Allegra. Did she fucking set me up? Is this one of her interventions? As if clearing the air with Levi isn’t enough?
But Allegra’s mouth is wide open and she’s gawking at Dex like he just steamrolled her.
I shake my head. Drop my hold on Allegra’s hand. The room tilts before me. Floaters appear in my peripheral vision. My hands curl into fists, my throat tightens. My heart beats erratically, a too-high, too-fast thrumming sound that pulses in my eardrums.
“Derek, I’ve been wanting to speak with you for years,” Dex continues. Or is it Derek too? “I’m so happy to finally meet—”
“No,” I cut him off. He doesn’t get to just say his piece, flip me his shit, now. Not when I’m supposed to spend one-on-one time with my girl. Not when I was just getting my shit sorted.
For the first time in fucking months, my head isn’t a goddamn mess. Allegra and I are good. Forging forward. Together.
And now…this guy tosses me this curveball and just expects me to catch it? And what? Do what?
“Fuck this,” I murmur.
“Derek!” Allegra gasps.
I swing toward her, my eyes narrowed. “Did you know?” I spit out even though I know the answer.
She sucks in an inhale, a hand rising to her chest like I hurt her. Well, no surprise there, huh? It’s not the first time I let Allegra down.
Who was I kidding, thinking I could do this? Be a normal, emotionally available, present boyfriend? My life is too twisted, my head too messed up. My past has finally caught up with me and it’s with a man Allegra, my fucking Stellina, admires.
A man I have no desire to get to know.
Not when he abandoned me. Left me in the goddamn system with abusers like Simon.
“Fuck,” I swear again. Then, I turn around and barrel out of the office.
“Derek! Wait!” Allegra calls after me.
I press both palms against the door, so it swings wide open.
“Let him go, A,” Dex’s low voice cuts the air. A thread of concern weaves through his words, as if I’m somehow dangerous. As if he doesn’t want Allegra with me.
The thought makes me snort derisively.
Does he think I’d hurt my girl? Does he think she can’t trust me? Does he see himself as her fucking father figure when he doesn’t know the first damn thing about showing up as a parent?
Overwhelmed and confused, I slip behind the steering wheel of my car.
My gaze cuts to the bar once and my heart fucking breaks when I see Allegra. She’s standing right outside the door, her big brown eyes wide with worry. Her fingers twist together in front of her, as if she doesn’t know what to do with her hands.
She stares at me like her heart is breaking. For me. For her.
For my never-present father.
I shake my head once and flip the ignition on my car. Then, I drive away from Beirut.
I don’t look in my rearview mirror.
I learned a long time ago to never look back.
Besides, I don’t want to witness the heartache on Allegra’s face.
Not when I already carry it around with me, like a constant reminder.
A self-fulfilling prophecy.