Epilogue
THREE WEEKS LATER
Allegra
“I’m proud of you,” I tell my brother when he slides into the passenger seat of my car after stowing his suitcase in the trunk.
“Good to see you, A.” Levi grins, reaching over the center console to pull me into a hug.
I breathe in the scent of his cologne and let him hold me for an extra moment. It feels nice, safe, and steady to be in my brother’s embrace.
“You ready to go home?” I ask.
Levi snorts. “I can get my own place.”
“It’ll be fun to be roommates again,” I reply.
“Yeah,” he agrees. “I really appreciate the offer to stay with you, A. Even though I feel better, my head’s clearer than it’s been in years, I’m…well, I’m fucking scared to be left to my own devices.”
I flash him a smirk as I direct my car toward the exit. We’ve got a drive before us, but it’s perfect as Levi and I have a lot to catch up on. “Mav’s nearby too,” I remind him.
“Yeah,” he says. “But he’s heading to Costa Rica soon. And we’re gearing up to start another album so… things are going to change.”
“Yeah,” I agree, my chest tightening at the mention of The Burnt Clovers.
I feel my brother’s eyes on my profile, studying me. “You hear from him?”
“Yes. We’re emailing.” I accelerate onto the highway. “You?”
“Just about band stuff.”
I nod, not saying anything else.
“He doesn’t call you?” Levi wonders.
I snort. “He calls me all the damn time. It’s just…hard, to hear his voice.”
Levi watches me closely. “Mav said he’s struggling,” he admits in a hushed tone.
“I’m trying to be there for him. As a friend, or whatever. But I need to protect myself too, you know?” I glance at Levi.
“Yeah. He’s lucky to have you.” It’s strange because I know Levi is livid with Derek. They never had a chance to clear the air. Still, he wants good things for him. I guess he wants good things for me too.
I sigh. But what’s good for Derek and what’s best for me clearly aren’t the same thing.
“You okay?” Levi asks after a few minutes of silence.
I glance at him and snort. “I should be asking you that.”
He grins. “I’m better now that I’m with you. I’m looking forward to bunking together, Allegra. Reconnecting.”
“Yeah, me too,” I say, meaning it.
Levi and I drive the rest of the way home catching up and reminiscing. We talk about our childhood. About our family and our parents. About Boston and rehab and Derek and the band. About my friends and UCLA and the homelessness outreach I’ve been doing.
Our chatter is incessant, like old times, and before I know it, I’m pulling into the parking spot outside my apartment.
“Nice place.” Levi whistles.
A pang cuts through my chest. Weeks ago, I wondered what it would be like if Derek and I were a real couple, getting our first apartment together. Now, he’s gone. And as much as I understand it, it still hurts. “Derek arranged it.”
My brother looks at me, but I don’t meet his eyes. “I’ll take care of it,” he says, with no judgement or frustration in his tone.
I dip my chin, nodding. I’d love to not owe Derek anything, and for that reason alone, I’ll let my brother pay him back for the rent.
“Come on,” I say.
Levi grabs his suitcase and together, we enter my home. Since it’s a one-bedroom, he’ll be crashing on the couch until we get a bigger place. Neither of us minds. It’s an opportunity to reconnect. I’ve been waiting for it for years and this time, I think Levi has too.
“I’m going to call Jameson,” Levi says, shaking his phone at me.
“Take your time. I’m going to take a quick shower,” I say, yawning. I’ve been exhausted this past week. Maybe my late nights at Beirut are finally catching up to me?
Entering the bathroom, I flip on the shower. When I move to grab a towel from the linen closet, a box of tampons catches my eye and I freeze.
Staring at the box, I try to calculate my last period.
Shit. When was it?
I freeze, trying to recall a date but none come to mind. I can’t remember when I last had it.
It must be stress. It has to be stress.
Still, when I spot the pregnancy test Nova left after she had a pregnancy scare, I swipe it and stare at the box.
There’s no way I’m pregnant.
But taking the test can’t hurt.
It will give me peace of mind.
Levi’s voice mixes with the sound of the running water.
I sit down on the toilet and pee on the stick.
Then, I place it face up on the vanity and throw myself underneath the hot stream of water.
I’m fine. Everything is fine. I’m not pregnant.
The words play on a loop as I wash my hair and body. Heaving out a deep breath, I turn off the shower and wrap myself in a fluffy towel.
When I step out of the shower, I move toward the vanity.
I’m not pregnant.
I look at the test.
A positive fucking plus sign greets me.
Shock rocks through my nervous system and my limbs lock down.
I work a swallow and reach for the test with trembling fingers. Picking it up, I study the positive symbol. I hold the test at different angles in the light, making sure the light isn’t playing tricks on my mind.
Nope. It’s definitely positive.
Shit. My mind whirls and I plop down on the closed toilet seat, gripping the pregnancy test. My towel slides down one side of my body.
I’m having a baby with a rockstar.
A rock god who’s currently reeling from discovering the identity of his biological father.
Bending over, laughter bubbles up and explodes from my mouth.
I’m having Derek “Reign” Reiner’s baby.
And he has no fucking clue.
Thank you so so much for reading Resentful Rockstar! I hope you’re loving Derek and Allegra’s epic and emotional journey. Their story concludes in Restless Rockstar. Read now!