Chapter Four
Rip
The classroom we’d started renovating and furnishing with all the necessities used to be a loading space.
You could still tell if you looked past the cheap bulletin board and the whiteboard on wheels and all the kid drawings taped to brightly painted concrete block.
Haven did a good job making ugly shit useful.
Knuckles had Knight purchase a bunch of shit going into the big room but right now, Mia made do with what she had.
And the woman had talent in stretching funds and improvising materials. I liked all of it. It just felt honest.
I stood just outside the open double doors with a tablet in one hand and a cup of coffee going cold in the other.
Afternoon light came in high through the warehouse windows, dusty and thin as it hit the tops of mismatched tables with metal chairs.
A stack of workbooks, crayons, pencils, and paper lay neatly at one end of the table.
The place smelled like dry erase marker, pencil shavings, and whatever Ada had baked that morning for snacks.
Mia had three kids around one side of the room, working on a homeschool lesson at the whiteboard.
She had neat handwriting and the kind of voice that made kids pay attention even when they didn’t want to.
Not soft exactly. Just clear. No bullshit in it.
Every now and then, the littlest one tried to sidetrack her, but Mia patiently answered her question, somehow managing to keep everyone on task with little effort.
Mia had a gift -- to make her students want to work.
I had to admit she impressed me. I also recognized the first step in Jade getting some kind of closure or healing or whatever she needed to not feel so helpless and cut off from the world would involve Mia’s…
maybe not necessarily forgiveness, but an understanding of Jade’s state of mind and the reasons for her past actions.
Across from Mia, Jade sat with two women at a scarred table covered in GED workbooks.
She leaned over a page, tapping something with the eraser end of a pencil, patient as hell, the same as Mia.
I’d seen her with the kids enough now to know she had a knack for it.
She didn’t condescend or baby people. Just explained shit until it clicked.
There was a steadiness to her when she focused on somebody else’s problem.
Like helping gave her somewhere to put all the fear.
She and Mia still didn’t look at each other if they could help it. They spoke when necessary, but Mia kept a polite distance. Jade just looked miserable.
One of the women at Jade’s table was Tanya. Tanya had a six-year-old boy named Billy with too much energy for his own body and not enough places to put it. Right now, he was slouched sideways in his chair, kicking one sneaker against the table leg in a steady, irritating thump.
Jade leaned in slightly, pointing something out to Tanya as she smiled gently at the other woman.
Tanya nodded and rubbed at her forehead before admonishing her child softly to sit still and color.
I had no idea why he wasn’t with Mia’s group, but I suspected Billy had some separation issues if he didn’t keep busy.
The kid lasted maybe twenty seconds.
“Mom.”
Tanya kept reading.
“Mom.”
A little louder and with more drag to it. “Moooom!”
She exhaled through her nose. “What, Billy?”
“I’m bored.”
“You’ve got your coloring book and your workbook. Or you can go sit with Mia’s group.” Tanya sounded like she’d had this same conversation more than once.
“I did. I finished.”
“Then read.”
“I don’t want to.”
When Tanya didn’t continue to engage him and instead concentrated on her lesson, Billy got up from his chair and went to Tanya’s side. Tugged her sleeve. She eased him off without looking at him and bent over the page again.
He tugged harder.
“Sit down, baby.”
“I hate this.” He pouted, crossing his skinny arms over an equally skinny chest.
“You’re not doing anything.”
Billy rolled his eyes. “That’s why I hate it.”
The other woman at the table hid a smile. Jade almost smiled too but didn’t quite manage it. She slid a sheet of paper toward him. “You can make a list of all the animals you know and draw a picture of each one beside it.”
He scrunched up his nose. “That’s dumb.”
“Probably,” she said. “But it’s better than sitting there being bored, right?”
For half a second, he seemed impressed she’d answered him straight. Then boredom won again, and he reached for Tanya’s pencil. Tanya snatched it back. He whined. She muttered something under her breath and kept working.
I should’ve moved then. Maybe. But there was a line in this place.
Women here needed room to parent their kids without every asshole with muscles stepping in like they knew best. We were security, not replacement fathers.
I’d learned that quick because I had that big brother complex.
So I stayed where I was and watched the whole room like I was supposed to.
Billy spun in a circle. Wandered two steps away.
Came back. Leaned on his mother’s shoulder.
Asked for a snack. Got told no. Asked if studying was almost over.
Got told yes, even though it clearly wasn’t.
He dragged his fingers down her sleeve again and made that high, thin whine kids made sometimes. Kind of like a puppy dog.
Tanya’s jaw went hard. That was the first warning.
The second was Jade going still. She sensed the explosion same as I did and did her best to escape notice.
Sweat beaded on her forehead and upper lip.
I could see the faint shine against her skin from the doorway.
She kept her neutral expression, but her body language told a whole different story.
Billy yanked at Tanya again. Her textbook slid off the table and hit the floor with a slap loud enough to crack across the room. Tanya snapped before the book stopped moving. “For fuck’s sake, Billy. Can’t you just sit still for five Goddamn minutes?”
The whole room stilled.
Tanya looked shocked at herself the second the words left her mouth. The boy froze, lower lip pushing out. Mia paused in front of the whiteboard, marker still in hand. The other woman at Jade’s table stared down at her workbook like she’d rather be anywhere else.
Jade didn’t move. Her fingers had gone white where she gripped the workbook in her hand. Her chest rose shallow and fast under her shirt. A fine sheen of sweat now showed along her collarbone. She kept her gaze down and stayed perfectly still.
I set my coffee down on a shelf and moved. Screw not interfering. If I helped Jade fight off a panic attack, Knuckles could take me to task later and I’d accept whatever punishment I had to.
The rec closet sat ten feet down the hall. Donated sports shit lived in there in a rolling bin because somebody thought children needed enrichment and not just survival. They were right. I grabbed the first two decent baseball mitts I found and a scuffed ball from the bottom of the bin.
By the time I hit the classroom doorway, Tanya was already crouching with her son in her arms. She cried and apologized over and over. Billy patted her shoulder and told her it was OK even as he cried right with her.
“Hey, kid.” I tossed the ball up in the air and caught it while I spoke. When he wiped his nose on his sleeve and turned around, I tossed the mitt underhand toward him. He caught it against his chest more by luck than skill. His eyes went wide.
“You ever played catch?” I asked.
He looked at the mitt, then at me. “No.”
“Good. Means you got no bad habits.” I lifted the baseball. “How about we go run off some of that energy.”
A couple of the kids near Mia stirred, looking at us longingly. Even Tanya let out a breath that sounded half like shame and half like relief. Billy looked at his mother. Tanya looked wrecked and grateful all at once. “It’s OK if you want to go play. It’s what you should be doing anyway, honey.”
I nodded at her. “Come out back to the courtyard when you’re done studying. I’ve got this.”
She opened her mouth like maybe she meant to protest on principle, then shut it and just nodded. “Thank you.”
I didn’t wait around to make it bigger than it was. “C’mon.”
As we left the room, I looked back once. Mia had already turned to redirect the rest of the children with minimal effort. The woman really did have the whole teacher vibe down to a science.
Jade had loosened one hand from the workbook.
Barely. Her breathing still looked off. She kept her eyes down, but I caught the little swallow in her throat and the strain around her mouth.
She was holding herself together by the skin of her teeth.
I knew it had everything to do with the small confrontation.
If that bastard, Eric, ever got near this place she’d never have to worry about him again. I’d end the son of a bitch.
Outside in the courtyard, I tossed the ball to Billy. He missed it, of course, but I just laughed and encouraged him to follow me a little farther away from the windows. Kids plus baseballs plus windows nearby always equaled broken windows.
I showed him how to throw. Teaching him to catch took more effort, but Billy threw himself into the game, so to speak.
After a few throws, the boy forgot to be sulky.
After a few more, he forgot his mother had snapped at him.
That was the thing with kids. Sometimes they could pivot so fast it made your head spin.
Adults held onto their damage whether they wanted to or not.
Kids still had the ability to see past the hurt. To a point.
When I glanced back toward the building, I saw Jade through the glass in the hallway. Just for a second. She stood near the wall, one hand pressed flat under her collarbone like she was checking her own pulse. She saw me looking and stilled.
I didn’t wave. Didn’t do a damn thing that might make her feel watched. I just stayed where I was with the kid and the baseball and made sure the people in the building had what they needed. In this case, a little peace and quiet.
A minute later, she stepped back into the classroom. I’d check on her after they finished their class. Because, for whatever reason, Jade Harper had burrowed under my skin. She was broken, more than a little lost, and I had a driving need to protect her from all the bad things life threw at her.
I turned my attention back to Billy. Not long after, another kid joined, then another. One bored kid with a mitt turned into five in under ten minutes.
Five kids. One baseball. The other four found more mitts and it was on.
Thank God we’d built this courtyard with lots of soft grass, because coordinated these guys were not.
Kira and Zelda had shown up after I sent Billy inside for another mitt, and Caleb trailed after them like he’d been waiting for an excuse to be a kid again instead of the man of the house.
That kid would be a force to be reckoned with when he grew up.
I looked forward to seeing the man he became.
Two other boys joined too, but I didn’t know their names yet.
They all formed a ragged circle around me.
Caleb helped Billy learn to handle the ball and soon everyone was laughing and hollering. I loved the happy sound, especially knowing how bad a couple of the little ones had it before coming to Haven.
Out of the corner of my eye, I caught movement on the wooden bench by the building’s edge.
Jade sat there, a sweater pulled tight around her despite the warm afternoon.
She watched us with an expression I couldn’t quite read from this distance, but her body language had loosened since I’d seen her in the classroom.
No longer rigid with fear, just… observant.
We continued our game of catch for a while. I stepped back and let them play with each other so I could keep an eye out around the area. It wasn’t strictly necessary; we were in a pretty protected area, but watching over everyone here made me feel like I contributed in a positive way.
Mia approached with two steaming mugs, standing in front of Jade with a hesitant posture.
Jade looked up, surprise flashing across her face before she schooled her expression into a friendly smile.
I couldn’t hear what Mia said, but I saw her lips form what looked like “peace offering” as she extended one mug.
Jade accepted it with both hands, like she needed the warmth despite the mild day. Her fingers wrapped tight around the ceramic, knuckles white with tension or cold or both.
“Coach! Coach Rip!” Billy’s voice snapped me back to the game. “You’re not watching!”
“I’m watching,” I assured him, though I’d been divided in my attention. I tossed the ball back to him.
I glanced back as Jade nodded, her face serious. I couldn’t hear them, but I could see Jade’s expression was hopeful but tight, like she’d been given a reprieve from whatever Mia discussed with her.
Turning back to the game, I did my best to give them privacy, but I wanted to eavesdrop.
Not because I wanted to be nosy or anything.
I didn’t want Mia to upset Jade any more than Jade was upset with herself.
Yes, Mia had a right to be pissed. I understood that.
I also knew systematic abuse made a person do things they would never do in a normal environment.
When I looked back at the pair a minute later, they weren’t looking at each other anymore, but watching the kids play. The silence between them seemed different now. Not comfortable exactly but not tense like before. Something had eased, even if just a fraction.
Jade sipped her coffee, and the smallest smile touched her lips as she watched Kira make an unlikely catch.
Beside her, Mia’s expression mirrored that same cautious optimism.
The tightness in my chest eased and I realized exactly how deep I was in with Jade, and we’d barely had a conversation.
She’d been hurt and abused and betrayed in the worst ways possible.
The last thing she needed was someone like me in her personal life.
I thought that made me qualify for the very definition of stupid.
Instead of keeping my distance from her, though, I knew I would continue to watch over her while she was here. Maybe, while she rested and healed, she’d let me close enough to get to know her.
I was so fucked.