51. Chapter 51
CHAPTER 51
Dynalya
D yna didn’t care where they went. The only thing she wanted now was to the flee the pressure in her chest. Raiden must have sensed it because he took her away without question, and they galloped away from the estate. The road led to a stone bridge and sound of the galloping horse beat against her heartbeat. It was soon behind them, and she exhaled in a sigh of relief as they raced toward the meadow planes of Sellav with no sign of pursuit.
“Where would you like to go, my lady?” Raiden called over his shoulder.
“Somewhere I can breathe.”
After a pause, he said, Hold on to me.”
Dyna released Raiden’s tunic and wrapped her arms around his firm waist. He kicked his heels, and they broke into a gallop off the road. Who knew where he was taking her. She was only grateful it was in the opposite direction of the estate. Blinking back her misted eyes, she gazed at the idyllic country of Sellav. Beyond opened the beautiful valley with a crystalline river running through, fluttering with dynalya flowers in the breeze.
They reached the town and rode through the streets. But Raiden kept going. He kicked his heels, galloping faster as though she was not the only one running away. Dyna peeked behind her and spotted Sowmya flying among the clouds, following but keeping her distance.
No other winged form followed.
They galloped up a foothill of the Anduir Mountains until Raiden brought her to a ridge that overlooked the entirety of the province. It was a secluded little nook within a cluster of rowan bushes and a smooth log was set a few feet away from the edge of the cliff, proving he had been here before.
“Here we are.” Dismounting, Raiden took hold of her waist and lifted her off the saddle.
“Oh, thank you,” Dyna said in surprise at how swiftly he did it. She smiled at the scenery with a sigh. “It’s lovely up here.”
He looked out at the horizon as the wind tousled his long hair. “We all need our own corner of the world to escape to at times. This one is mine.”
Dyna heard a weight in his tone, and she looked up at the pensiveness in his eyes. “I am sorry for placing you in further bad standing today.”
Their presence called into question his reputation. Those suitors were awful to him.
If Lucenna had not reacted, she certainly would have.
A bitter smile touched Raiden’s lips. “Your being here has made no difference. Varden would have found another creative way to slight me. This is not the first nor the last time he will grace us with his company.”
“Who is he?”
“Varden is heir of House Karheim and the land of Erendor. An esteemed noble family. He was the one my mother was meant to marry. Can you imagine?” Raiden scoffed wryly. “Perhaps I would have been better suited to have an arrogant father from a respected House rather than a father from a soldier’s House where I have to prove myself every blessed day.”
Dyna knew Raiden didn’t mean to say that by the way he stiffened. Red flushed through his cheeks.
“Pardon me, my lady. Folly words from a folly son.” He grimaced, rubbing the back of his neck.
“No … I understand.” She looked out at the land, feeling her throat tighten. “I was once in a similar position where I felt the need to prove myself against others who had no regard for the title I once held. It’s enough to make you feel…” Her brow furrowed. “As though perhaps they are right. You don’t belong. No matter how much you wish for it.”
Raiden’s gaze slid to hers a moment, then they both looked away to the estate in the far distance. The brittle bond in her chest faintly pulsed, letting her know where the other half of her was. Dyna shut the feeling away.
When would the stupid thing understand there was nothing left between them? Maybe then it would stop reacting to him.
“And that caused the end of your marriage?” Raiden asked.
It was Dyna’s turn to weakly laugh. “Cassiel made that choice.”
“Which he seems to regret.”
She thought of his teary face as he knelt in the rain at her feet, begging for forgiveness. Dyna shut her eyes. “It doesn’t matter now.”
“I agree,” Raiden said. “Because you don’t belong together.”
The unexpected statement made something in her chest tighten, and it drew her attention back to him.
“A Celestial and a human…” Raiden’s expression shifted as he gazed at the fog rolling over the mountains. “It is no better than a princess and a soldier of modest means. My parents didn’t belong together either, yet they fought for their love and look at where it brought them. My mother was cast away from the castle with her name besmirched. My father abandoned us in the name of glory simply to escape the judgment of his country. And it destroyed them.” Anger painted each word, mark heavily by his resentment. “My mother was left alone in a place she didn’t know, and I … I was left to live in his shadow, born with the face of a man both admired and reviled for his deeds. Now my father awaits death, and I ask myself what was it for? Why was this the future they chose? Had he done the right thing and let her go before it ruined their lives, then perhaps they could have found some sliver of happiness.”
Dyna was taken back by all of it because she had wouldn’t have expected him to have anything but respect for Rawn as she did. But it occurred to her that respect came from the time she had with him; time Raiden didn’t have. “What makes you believe they were unhappy? Your father didn’t leave to escape judgment but to fulfil an oath he made to the King. That is the only thing he regrets. All Rawn has ever wanted was to come home.”
Raiden’s long fingers drifted to the wooden pendant he wore around his neck a moment, before his brow tightened again and he stood. “Then it should not have taken him twenty years to come back.”
“Wait.” She caught the end of his tunic, the fabric soft against her fingers.
His gaze drifted down to her hold. “You care for him, don’t you?”
“Of course I do. We have been through a lot together, and it has bonded us as family.”
And she realized it was the wrong thing to say by the look on his face.
“Therein lies my contempt, my lady…” Raiden gently removed her grasp, holding her hand a few seconds before letting go. “He has formed a new family while he has forgotten his own.”
“That’s not true.” Dyna moved in Raiden’s way when he tried to leave. “Please don’t think ill of him. I know Lord Norrlen’s thoughts have always been full of you and your mother. Don’t feel as though he went willingly.”
“Know ? How would you know this when I know nothing about him at all?”
Sighing, Dyna nodded at the wooden pendant. “Your father made that, didn’t he?”
Raiden looked away.
“I recognize the carving style,” she said. “In his spare time, I watched Rawn carve little statuettes every night for his child.”
“I have outgrown such things,” Raiden murmured.
“He knew that, yet he carved them anyway.” Dyna brushed her fingertips over the pendant resting over Raiden’s heart. “But this one is different from the others, isn’t it?”
For the fact that he kept it with him. It also looked older, smoothed from time. In the center of the pendant lay a single symbol she couldn’t read.
“It’s a … birth token.” Raiden cradled it in his hand. “Meant to be made by one’s father to symbolize the wish they hold for their son’s future on the path they might take. Whether it be another soldier, a scholar, a magi master, or whatever aspirations they may have. Tokens are usually made of pearl or gold, or precious stones and they open with a gift inside. Mine arrived when I was a boy, with nothing but a rusted piece of metal and a letter. The only one he ever wrote to me. All it said was that one day I would understand.” Raiden’s brow furrowed and he let it drop. “The only thing I understand is this is what he truly thinks of me.”
Dyna frowned, not understanding either. That didn’t sound like Rawn at all. “What does the symbol mean?”
“Ray … It’s the first syllable of my name in old Elvish. I’m told it means primordial or beginning.” Standing at the edge of the cliff, Raiden inhaled a deep breath and slowly let it go.
He simply breathed and all the tension in his shoulders melted away. She could almost see Lord Norrlen in his place, and she wondered if he had ever stood here, too.
Then Raiden turned to her, looking a little sheepish. Pardon my ramblings, my lady. Thank you for lending an ear.”
She smiled. “Not at all. I am fortunate that you felt comfortable enough to share that with me.”
His head canted as he looked at her, and the makings of a soft smile rose to his face. “Enough about me. Tell me about yourself instead.”
“Me?”
“Yes, you.” They strolled back to his horse, and he helped her mount the saddle before climbing up behind her with graceful ease. He felt warm and solid at her back. Taking the reins in his elegant hands, Raiden clicked his tongue, and they cantered down the mountain trail at a leisurely pace. “I assume you were on your way to Mount Ida with my father, as locating the island was part of his mission.”
Right, his family would know about that.
“I am.”
“And what put you on that path?”
Dyna gazed at the land of Sellav, past the trees. “Your home … it reminds me of mine. North Star is a small village nestled within the mountains, secluded from the rest of the world. It’s peaceful and lovely, with vast meadows and cascades adorning the range. A great threat comes to destroy that, so I am on my way to find the means to stop it.”
Her vision misted as she thought of her family. She imagined Grandma Layla in the garden picking herbs for her tonics, while Lyra studied her books by the fire. Oh, how she missed them. Dyna missed the serene days of that time, when she had not been the person she was now. When she returned, she would carry the scars of her journey.
Raiden was quiet for a moment, then said. “It’s a brave thing to step out your front door and go out into the unknown. Only those of stout heart would take on an arduous journey full of peril to protect something they love. I commend you for your courage.”
For some reason, she needed to hear that. For someone to tell her she was brave and strong instead of foolish and weak as she had been feeling. It served to remind her of all she had accomplished in spite of every hurdle that had come her way. Even when she had been knocked down, she managed to push herself up again. She faced death time and again and kept going.
Somehow, she had forgotten that it also took courage to find your worth.
“Thank you,” she whispered, tears gathering on her lashes.
Sunlight streamed in through the branches as they left the trees. Its warmth fell over her and she expanded her lungs with a breath, taking the weight that had been dragging her down and tossing it away.
And she finally realized that was her strength.
Her inability to give up.
Raiden handed her a handkerchief, and Dyna stifled a breathy laugh because it reminded her of Rawn. He was more like his father than he thought.
They followed the road and passed through the town of Sellav. As they cantered along the cobble tone streets, it caught the attention of everyone they passed. Some waved to their lord, calling out greetings. The streets were lined with bright flowers carrying the sweet scent of spring. Raiden stopped so they could stroll among the merchant stalls, and she could admire their wares.
“Do you wish to return to the estate?” Raiden asked her when the evening arrived.
Dyna sighed. “Not particularly.”
“Because you want to avoid the King of Hilos?”
She glanced back at the white structure set upon a hill, dreading seeing him again. It was too difficult. Whenever Cassiel was near, her chest ached like a lingering bruise. A constant reminder of who they used to be and what they would never be again.
“That will be inevitable now that he has joined the escort.” Dyna brushed her fingers over the silky red petals of a dynalya flower. “Which I must agree he will offer more protection for Lady Aerina. However, I can’t say I am overjoyed by his presence.”
“Then may I be of assistance with that?” Raiden murmured, prompting her to look up at him. “I have been meaning to thank you for being here and for helping my mother. What better way than by serving as a barrier between you and the one you wish to keep away?”
“What do you mean?”
The breeze picked up, ruffling the stall canopies and her cloak. Flower petals swirled into the air around them.
Taking her hand, Raiden bowed as he pressed a soft kiss on the back of her fingers. “Lady Dynalya of North Star, may I court you?”
Dyna lay in bed, staring up at the tracks of the evening light on her bedroom ceiling, replaying the moment in town. “It would be a guise,” Raiden had quickly clarified when she blushed and stuttered over her words. A means to merely keep him at bay by stating I am courting you now. None but us would know the truth.”
Should she accept his offer?
She shook her head. No, that was silly.
There was no need to enter a pretend courtship simply to avoid her former husband. She made it clear they were over.
Sighing, her tired eyes slid closed. As soon as they rescued Rawn, her dilemma would be over, too.
Dyna jolted up in bed, stifling her scream. The sound of her racing heart hammered in her ears, her chest heaving with wild breaths, and sweat slicking her skin. Her body shuddered with the remnants of her nightmare, and she touched the back of her head, feeling the phantom crack of her skull.
Her room was dark.
The candles had gone out.
Only faint moonlight trickled through the window curtains. She stumbled out of bed, quickly casting out her magic. The wicks lit and she sagged against the bedpost. The light didn’t diminish her trembling. It wasn’t the dark she feared anymore.
A soft knock came at the door.
She knew who it was without him needing to speak. “Go away, Cassiel.”
“Are you all right?”
Dyna glowered at her sweaty face in the mirror across the bed and quickly fortified her shield on the bond. Her exhaustion must have brought it down. She lay down again, giving her back to the door. If she ignored him long enough, he would eventually leave.
“May I come in?”
The gentle question made tears gather on her lashes. When she used to have nightmares, his simple touch was enough to keep them away. She was so tired of these relentless dreams, she almost said “yes”, purely to find rest. But she couldn’t bear looking at him anymore. Because whenever Cassiel was near, she was highly aware of him, and the way she fixated on the sound of his voice, on the heat of his presence, and over how much her broken heart ached with longing.
Dyna shoved the thought away.
She couldn’t allow him to come near her again.
At her silence, Cassiel’s sigh was heavy enough to slip through the cracks of her door. “ Lev sheli , please talk to me.”
Shutting her wet eyes, Dyna drew the blanket over her head. “Leave me alone.”
She didn’t want to talk to him. His pleading only made her angrier. He did this to them. To her.
It was doubtful his touch would soothe her anymore.
Nothing he did now would be enough to keep those hands from pushing her over the cliff.
She glanced at her satchel sitting on the vanity, picturing the purple wilted leaves inside that would banish away the nightmares and pain. But she decided not to embrace her monster.
She would be something else .
Dyna was glad she tossed the last of the Witch’s Brew or she may have been tempted to drink it.
Fatigue weighed over her body and her heavy eyelids drifted closed. She would face everything until she rose above it. The ache in her chest gradually faded, probably with Cassiel’s departure.
As she drifted off to sleep again, Dyna contemplated Raiden’s offer.