18. Nate
NATE
I cook for Zach, not letting him help at all.
While the pasta bake is in the oven, I set the table, turn the lights down, and light a candle.
I have a nice bottle of white wine that would go well with dinner, but I decide not to open it.
I don’t want to rule out the possibility of playing later, if Zach wants to.
I imagine he might want me to cuddle him while he’s blindfolded, at the very least. He must have a lot running through his mind—the audition, which he’s arranged for Monday, and going to his apartment tomorrow.
“It smells delicious, Daddy,” he says when I invite him to sit at the table.
“I hope it tastes as good.”
He laughs. “I’m sure it will. You’re a good cook.”
“I have to be as a bachelor.”
“Hmm… You could live on ready meals and take-away.”
I grimace. “No, thanks.”
“Or you could hire a chef.”
I laugh. “How rich do you think I am?”
He shrugs. “Honestly? I have no idea.” His cheeks redden. “And I shouldn’t want to know, either. It’s none of my business.”
I reach across the table and put my hand on his. “It could be, depending on how serious this is.”
He blinks and makes eye contact with me.
I stroke my fingers over his hand. “Besides, give it a few films, and your net worth will be more than I could ever dream of.”
His blush deepens. “I doubt that…”
“I don’t. Does the film you’re auditioning for include box office bonuses?”
He nods.
“If the film does well, that could easily triple your salary.”
His eyes widen.
“If there’s potential for it to turn into a franchise, your fee will go up for every movie. So will the bonuses. You’re on the verge of making it big, Zach.”
“I haven’t got the role yet,” he mutters. “And, even if I do, there’s no telling how well it might do. It could bomb.”
“It could,” I concede. “Or it might be the biggest movie the year it releases. My point is that your earning potential is almost limitless, sweet boy. Dream big. I believe in you.”
“Does that mean you want me for my potential future income?” His tone is jokey, if slightly sad.
“No. You could be a poor, starving artist your whole life, and I’d still want you.”
He sucks in a breath. “You— What—?”
I’m stunned, too. I straighten, blinking slowly. “I’d still want you,” I repeat, slower. “I’m not sure I can imagine my life without you in it anymore.”
He runs his hands through his hair, puffing his cheeks out as he stares at me.
“Have I scared you?” I wince internally, realizing I might have.
He’s still reeling from his encounter with a possessive stalker, and here I am, talking about feelings that are probably too deep for the length of time we’ve been seeing each other.
It’s been weeks. Not months. Certainly not years. Why did I say any of that?
“No… But I wasn’t expecting it, either.”
I decide now is the right time to serve out the pasta bake. Anything to relieve the tension and attempt to make this right. The huge spoon slurps into the steaming pasta, vegetable, and sauce combo. I put a helping on his plate first and then mine.
“I’m afraid it’s impossible to serve pasta bake elegantly,” I say, attempting humor.
“It tastes the same going down, no matter how fancy it looks on the plate.”
“True.”
Zach picks up his fork and pushes the pasta around his plate. “Why would you want to be with me long term?”
I widen my eyes. “What do you mean? Why wouldn’t I?”
“I’m hiding who I really am.”
“I’m not asking you to change that.”
His expression becomes fierce, almost desperate. “Maybe you should. How can we have a future together if we can’t go out on dates? If I’m too scared to hold your hand in public? You’d have to hide, too, and I can’t ask you to do that.”
“You’re not asking me, sweet boy.”
Tears fill his eyes. “Why would you want that life, Daddy?”
“Because I want to be with you.”
“You make it sound like that’s all that matters.”
“It’s not. You have to want to be with me, too.”
Tears spill down his cheeks. “You’re amazing, Daddy. You’ve made me feel things I never thought I could. Made me feel safer than I ever dreamed I could. You make me so, so happy. I do want to be with you, but I can’t ask you to make sacrifices to make that wish come true.”
I stand, walk around the table, and kneel beside him, cupping his hand in mine. “Look at me, sweet boy.”
He twists in his chair, so he’s facing me. He stares into my eyes, desperation dancing in his.
I brush his hair away from his face. “I’m falling in love with you.”
He sobs, looks away for half a second, before meeting my gaze again.
“I’m walking into this, eyes wide open. I’ve seen you at your lowest. I know things might not be easy, but I don’t care.” I squeeze his hand, bring it to my lips and kiss it. “A while ago, you asked me if I was looking for something serious.”
He nods. “I remember.”
“Do you remember what I said?”
“That you’d know if you ever found the right person.”
I smile at him. “I think you’re the right person, Zach. You make me happy.”
“Is that enough?”
“I think so. Do you?”
“I want to, but… There are so many obstacles, Daddy. And they’re all coming from me. I’m not sure I can change enough to be the right person for you.”
“I don’t want you to change for me. The only person you should change for is yourself.
You need to do what makes you happy. I promise, I’m not asking you to come out now, or in the future.
I’m not asking you to change, and I never will.
I am falling for you now, exactly as you are.
That’s all I want. It’s all I need.” I kiss his hand again. “I’m sorry if I’ve come on too strong.”
He shakes his head.
“If you want, we can eat, and I can take you back to Halo House.”
He shakes his head more fiercely. “That’s not what I want.”
“Then what do you want, baby?”
He grasps my shirt in his free hand, clinging on tightly. “You. But I don’t deserve you.”
“Yes, you do.” I put my hand on his nape and pull him close enough to kiss his forehead. “I hope, one day, you can believe that. I’m yours, sweet boy. If you want me.”
“I do.” He wraps his arms around my neck and kisses my hair. “So, so much.” He lets me go, bows his head, and kisses me.
I push up so I can command the kiss. We hold each other, our embrace quickly becoming desperate.
“I need you,” he whispers.
“What about dinner?”
“The only thing I’m hungry for is you.”
“Tell me how.”
“Tie me up, Daddy. Blindfold me. Make love to me. Make me yours. Help me surrender completely and utterly.”
We stumble into my walk-in closet, where Zach chooses the blindfold and restraints he wants to use. He picks wrist and ankle restraints, making me pause.
“Are you sure?” It’s not a step we’ve taken together yet. He’s always had his legs free.
“Yes.” He kisses my jaw. “I want to surrender completely.”
“And utterly,” I whisper, pulling him against me for a searing kiss.
“Uh-huh.”
“Use your safe words.”
“I won’t need them.”
My heart melts at the certainty in his voice. He has them. That’s what matters. He can use them if he needs them, but I also hope he won’t need to.
I take him to my bed, where I undress him slowly. I take my time peeling every item of clothing off, kissing every inch of skin as I expose it. It takes the tiniest of pushes to pitch him onto the bed, where he lies, exactly where he fell, staring at me with wide, love-filled eyes.
“Do you need me to narrate?” I ask.
“No, Daddy. I know what’s going to happen. Daddy…”
“Yes, sweet boy?”
“I want it to last. Make it last.”
“Your wish—” I smile and kiss him fiercely. “Is my command.” Then I gently cuff his wrists above his head.
The ankle restraints loop around the bed frame.
I tighten the chain until his legs are exactly where I want them, spread wide, knees bent, his inviting hole on show.
I undress next, my movements just as slow as when I took his clothes off.
He licks his lips and strains against his restraints, not to get away, but to get closer to me.
Once I’m naked, I grab lube and a condom, slip the eye mask he chose onto him, and lie between his legs, lazily kissing him wherever it takes my fancy to.
He whimpers, moans, and shivers every time my lips connect with his skin, his temperature seeming to rise with every kiss.
“I need you, Daddy,” he whimpers.
“Surrender to me,” I say. “I’m in charge. All you need to do is relax.”
“Yes, Daddy.” He sighs, expelling the remaining tension in his body. He lies still, entirely at my mercy, and smiles.
I have never seen anything more beautiful in my life than Zach in this moment.
I take a moment to appreciate him—his body, his stunning face, his humbling vulnerability.
Whether he believes it or not, he’s come so far since the frightened young man I first met weeks ago.
Too soon or not, the way I feel for him eclipses everything else. Zach is my person. I hope I’m his.
I squeeze lube onto my fingertips and touch them to his hole.
He gasps and flinches before relaxing once more, his happy smile returning.
I warm him up gently, kissing him throughout.
He makes the most delicious noises, showing me exactly how much pleasure I’m giving him, and how much he wants me.
I love the feel of him. His skin beneath my lips.
His body alongside mine. His warm ass squeezing around my fingers.
Everything about him takes my breath away.
Every whimper, murmur, and shiver makes me want him more.
When I’m sure he’s ready, I slide my fingers out of him, put the condom on, and slick up my hard, aching cock. I put my hands on either side of his head, and lower myself down to kiss him. At the same time, I nudge the head of my cock against his hole.
“Do you still want me to make it last, sweet boy?”
“Yes, Daddy,” he rasps.
“How long?”
“As long as possible.”
“Even if you beg for release?”
“Especially if I beg.”
“Who’s in charge?”
“You are, Daddy.”
“Good boy.”
He moves his hips just enough to apply needy pressure against my cock.
It’s all the encouragement I need. I push inside him, gasping at how hot and tight he is.
I kiss him again, my tongue moving in time with my hips as I make love to him.
His fingertips twitch, and he groans against my mouth, sucking my tongue delightfully.
I am overwhelmed by the trust he’s placed in me. He’s so relaxed. Making love to him is a joy. My heart swells. I quicken my pace, needing to come in him. With him. I kiss him fiercely, and he reciprocates wonderfully. He’s so submissive, so beautiful.
The moment I see the tells that he’s close to orgasm—the slight tightening of his abs, the quiver of his thighs, the clenching of his ass—I stop, lower myself over him, and lay still.
I keep kissing him, keep stroking him. I wait until his breathing is less ragged, until I can feel a hint of frustration in his body, push up, and thrust into him again.
Slowly.
So slowly it takes all of my self-control. I make each stroke long, almost pulling out of him, pushing in until I’m balls deep. He reaches the brink faster than I was anticipating, so I stop again, this time not even kissing him when he whimpers.
“Daddy,” he whines.
I tut, reminding him who’s in charge.
He stills, becomes quiet, trusting me.
I start again.
Faster.
Harder.
My breathing becomes harsh, and this time it’s me who careens toward the edge too quickly.
I lose track of how many times I stop and start, resting for longer each time to regain my stamina. How many kisses I give him, how many times he begs for release. But he never uses his safe word, and he’s almost always smiling.
Eventually, I’m done with playing. Done with edging him. I just want release.
“Come with me, baby,” I whisper.
As though acting on command, his body shudders in time with mine, painting us with his cum.
I come inside him, thrusting through my orgasm to prolong it, never wanting it to end.
Then I lay over him, gasping, kissing, touching, and holding him.
I don’t pull out of him. If he wants me to, he’ll let me know, but for now I want to continue feeling every inch of him.
“Thank you, Daddy.”
I reach up to release his wrists. “You’re my person,” I whisper against his hot, sweaty skin.
He wraps his arms around me, his fingertips pressing desperately against my shoulder blades. “You’re my person, too, Daddy. Never let me go.”
“I won’t, sweet boy. I won’t. But I do need to finish untying you.”
“Not yet. I’m fine for now.”
I chuckle. “You want me to stay inside you.”
“I do. I want to stay exactly like this. Please?”
“Whatever you want, sweet boy. Whatever you need.” I stroke his cheek, holding him silently for some time, until, eventually, my soft cock slips out of him.
He whimpers, but doesn’t object when I move away to remove the ankle cuffs.
“I’ll be back in a moment. Don’t move.”
I fetch a damp cloth. He hasn’t moved a muscle. I clean him up, remove, tie off, and dispose of the condom, clean myself, and then fetch massage oil from the walk-in.
“Lay on your stomach, baby.”
He obeys without hesitation. How far he’s come, from a guy who’d never allowed himself to be submissive, to doing as I ask without question. I kneel beside him, pour the massage oil onto his back, and then rub his back and shoulders firmly.
“That’s so nice, Daddy.”
“Relax and enjoy. You’ve earned it.”
“I didn’t do anything, Daddy.”
“You did everything, baby.”
He smiles and sighs happily. I massage him until all the oil has been worked into his skin, leaving it glistening. Then I lay beside him and remove the eye mask. He blinks for a few seconds before finally focusing on me.
“Hi,” he whispers.
“Hi.” I stroke my thumb over his cheekbone. “How are you feeling about tomorrow?”
“Nervous. Scared.”
“I’ll be with you.”
“I know, thank you.” He catches hold of my hand and presses it over his heart. “I meant it, you know… That you’re my person. I didn’t just say it because the sex was great.”
I arch a brow. “It was great, was it?”
“Amazing. I don’t know why I asked you to edge me, but I’m glad I did. No one’s ever done that to me before. It made my orgasm mind-blowing.”
“I’ll happily blow your mind again.” I bring his hand to my lips and kiss his knuckles. “And again.” Another kiss. “And again.”
He tucks his other hand under his cheek. “How did I get so lucky?”
“It wasn’t luck. Phoenix is good at matching people with the right caregiver.”
“You’re so much more than that, Daddy.”
“I’m glad.” I kiss his fingers again, and then pull him into my arms, his ear pressed over my heart. “What can I do to make you feel safe tomorrow?”
“Just be with me. That’s enough.”
“You’re sure?”
“Yes. I might be a mess.”
“That’s okay. We’ll do whatever you need to, then we’ll come home, and I’ll hold you for as long as you need me to.”
He snuggles against me and kisses my chest. “I love you, Daddy.”
I gasp.
He tilts his head up, cracking one eye open. “Too soon?”
I smile and stroke his hair. “No. I think your timing’s perfect. I love you, too.”