Chapter 26
COOPER
I hated myself for being harsh with Benji, but I couldn’t face another second with Felix. Not when Benji had just ripped my heart out and dropped it on the table in front of him like that.
He hadn’t meant to hurt me. He couldn’t possibly understand why he might have. I owed him an apology later.
Right now, though, my ears were on fire and my heart was racing and I wanted to be as far from Felix as I could be.
My feelings weren’t his problem. He didn’t have to return them—he didn’t even have to respond to them.
I didn’t want him to respond to them. I hadn’t wanted him to know, because if he knew…
If he knew, he could reject me. I couldn’t take that.
Now he knew. So the only thing I could do to avoid the inevitable was—
“Cooper!”
I stopped dead.
Felix.
Consciously, I didn’t want to turn.
Unconsciously, I couldn’t help it.
Felix was running—running full pelt—toward us.
“Wait,” he said as he came to a stop, panting for breath. I glanced automatically at his leg, wondering if I’d have to catch him.
He’d run after us.
That must’ve hurt.
“Just,” Felix said, swallowing as he got his breathing under control. He raised his hand, holding up his phone and waving it at me. “Hold on.”
I couldn’t have moved if I’d wanted to. Whatever the hell was happening, I couldn’t look away.
Felix tapped his phone a few times, then held it up to his ear.
I heard the call connect, and a faint, “Hello?”
“Annabelle,” Felix said.
He met my gaze and held it. I couldn’t look away.
“No, I… everything’s fine, it’s just… your offer was extremely generous.”
Oh. I thought he’d already accepted, but clearly he was about to. Right in front of me.
I had told him he should. This was what I’d said I wanted.
And if I couldn’t say what I really wanted…
“Felix—” I tried, but he cut me off with a raised hand.
“I’m flattered, truly,” he continued on the phone. “And I know I said I’d be heading down tomorrow, but…”
My heart pounded in my ears.
But?
“I’m going to have to disappoint you,” Felix said, still holding my gaze. “Because the thing is, I do want to stay in this little town.”
What?
“You haven’t seen it, but you should, because it’s incredible.
Where I’m standing I can see a sliver of the bay, and there’s salt on the breeze.
The sun’s about to set, and the sky’s turning all these incredible pinks and oranges.
When it gets dark, there’ll be a hundred times as many stars as you think there are in the sky.
And it’s got the cutest little ice cream parlor and a coffee shop where they make the most incredible baked goods and there’s a really cute dog. And…”
Felix licked his lips, taking a step toward me.
“And right in front of me, there’s this man. You saw him at the competition, but I didn’t really get a chance to introduce you. I’m sorry about that, because meeting him is the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”
My mouth fell open so automatically I felt like a cartoon character.
“He’s kind and sweet and funny and thoughtful and he brought me flowers,” Felix said.
“And invited me to dinner, and made me feel like I was worth something when I was convinced I wasn’t.
He also comes with the most adorable kid in the whole world.
And I love them both. I don’t know if I can have this life, I don’t know if it’ll work out.
But I know that if I have to pick between going to Los Angeles to work with you or staying here and hoping for the possibility that I haven’t screwed up beyond repair, I’d regret not staying here more than I’d regret not going there.
And it wouldn’t even be close. He’s, umm… ”
Felix took a breath, looking me right in the eyes. I had no idea what my face was doing, except that I was fairly sure my mouth was hanging open.
“He’s my next act,” he continued. “So. Thank you so much for your time, and I hope you find the right person for the role.”
Felix paused, listening to whatever Annabelle was saying on the other end of the line.
“Yeah,” he said. “Yeah, he’s pretty incredible. Thanks. Bye.”
The tip of Felix’s tongue poked out between his lips as he hung up the phone, tucking it deliberately into his bag.
When he looked at me again, his eyes were bluer than they’d ever been before.
I took a half-step toward him on unsteady legs, gripping Benji’s hand way too tight.
I figured if I played the next few minutes right, he’d forgive me for anything.
“You’re not going?” I asked, barely able to hear myself over the pounding of my own ears.
Felix shook his head.
“You’re not the one who screwed up,” I said.
“I screwed up by not telling you everything I should have. By being too afraid of being hurt again to take a risk. All you did was support me in what I’d given you every reason to think I wanted.
” Felix took a deep breath, letting it out in one hard exhale.
“It’s just that what I really want is walks on the beach and slow dancing in the living room and pancakes on Saturday mornings and to share ballet with kids who love it.
And I want it with you. And you,” he added to Benji.
“If you’re in the market for another adult to love you. ”
I glanced down to see Benji beaming up at him, another one of those smiles he’d run out of face for. “I love you,” he said, with all the ease of a kid who’d never—
Well, no. He’d had his heart broken like most people never would.
Like a kid who was a lot braver than me.
Okay, then.
“I love you,” I echoed, meeting Felix’s eyes again. “I… I was thinking a while back? That I’d never really known what it meant to love someone until Benji, because he was my first thought every morning. And then, all of a sudden, you were there, too. First thing.”
“First thing?” Felix asked.
“Yeah. Keep waking up thinking about you. Never happened to me before.”
The way Felix’s face lit up was like looking directly into the sun.