Chapter 11
Eleven
Will
I take my time eating, telling myself it’s to savor the meal.
Really, it’s to savor this time with her.
Every slow bite is an excuse to linger, to keep this moment from ending too soon.
I didn’t expect to run into Amanda tonight.
I didn’t expect to enjoy her company as much as I have when I asked her to join me.
Tonight, sitting across from me in the dim lighting of the restaurant, she’s not my daughter’s best friend.
She’s a beautiful and intoxicating woman, and the air between us is electric.
I know she can feel it from the soft flush of her cheeks.
I’m damn lucky to be here, sitting across from her, sharing this meal, sharing this time.
The truth is, with each new interaction, that spark grows a little brighter. I easily forget that my connection with her started with my daughter. I’m able to look past the fact that she’s damn near twenty years younger than me.
All I see is Mandy.
Mandy and the way her smile lights up her eyes, the way her laugh lingers, the way her big green eyes sparkle when she talks about her daughter, even the way she leans in when she’s invested in whatever story she’s telling me.
Everything about this woman pulls me in deeper.
It feels easy and natural, but it’s dangerous because I know she’s not someone I can pursue.
It figures the first woman to light my soul on fire and garner my attention for more than a couple of hours is the one I can never have.
“Can I get you anything else?” Todd, our waiter, asks. “Did you leave room for dessert?” he asks Amanda, smiling.
“No, thank you. It was delicious,” she says, returning his smile.
I clear my throat loudly, pulling Todd’s attention from her to me, and hand him my credit card. He was flirting with her, and I’m sitting right here. Sure, she’s not mine, but this asshole doesn’t know that.
“Oh, I can pay for mine. Can we sp—” she starts, but I wave Todd off. He smirks and disappears with my card. “Will,” Amanda scolds me gently. “Let me pay for mine at least.”
“Nope. I invited you to dinner.” I grin, and there’s that blush I’m so fond of.
“Technicality.” She laughs. “I bumped into you, and you felt sorry for me is more like it.”
“I bumped into a beautiful woman, who accepted my invitation to dinner,” I counter, my voice gruff with desire.
Fuck, this is bad. This is so bad.
“Here you go,” Todd says, handing me my card and the receipt. “You two enjoy the rest of your night.” He keeps his eyes on me as he says it before rushing away.
“Ready?” I ask Amanda. Standing from the booth, I offer her my hand, and without hesitation, she places hers in mine, allowing me to help her out of the booth. She didn’t need the help, but I’m finding, especially tonight, that I’ll take any excuse I can get to touch her.
When she’s standing, I reluctantly let go of her, but that only gives me the excuse to place my palm on the small of her back and lead her out of the restaurant. Outside, the air is cool for an early May evening in Tennessee.
Amanda turns to face me, and I should remove my hand from her back, but I don’t. Instead, I apply a little pressure, moving her closer to me. She steps forward and peers up at me under long lashes.
“Thank you for dinner and the company.”
“Anytime you need a dinner date, you call me,” I tell her.
Her eyes widen a little at my use of the word date, but fuck it, that’s what it felt like, and for now, I’m still living in this bubble of “if things were different” that I’ve been floating around in all night.
Might as well keep the momentum until I have to say goodbye to her.
“You saved me again,” she says, her lips tilting in a grin.
The wind blows, and her hair slaps against her cheek. With my free hand, I tuck the wayward strands behind her ear. “You don’t need saving,” I say, my voice lower, huskier than just a few moments before.
“What are your plans for the rest of the night?” she asks.
“No plans.”
She bites down on her bottom lip. I don’t know what she wants to say, but I stay patient, letting her work through whatever it is. “Me either,” she finally says. “It’s going to be so weird to go home to a quiet house without Mia.”
“I know you miss her.”
She nods. “I think I’ll watch a movie or something.
” She parts her lips, then quickly closes them.
When she opens again, she blurts, “Do you want to watch one with me?” She hangs her head as soon as the words leave her lips and stares at my chest, since we’re standing too close for her to be able to see our feet.
“Never mind. I’m sorry. I know you’re busy, and you have a life, and just because I’m missing my daughter, you don’t have to appease me.
Thank you again for dinner,” she says and tries to pull away, but my hold is firm, not letting her go.
“Is that what you want, Mandy?” Lifting my free hand, I place my index finger beneath her chin and lift so that I can see those pretty green eyes. “You want me to follow you home?”
She swallows hard. “Yes,” she whispers.
“Okay.” Unable to resist the temptation, I press my lips to her forehead.
That’s platonic-ish, right? I’m not breaking any rules.
“I’ll walk you to your car.” With my hand nestled on the small of her back, as if it belongs there, I guide her to the parking lot to her SUV.
“I’ll follow you,” I tell her as she unlocks the door, and I pull it open for her.
She looks up at me, and I know what she’s about to say, and fuck me, but I don’t want her to say it. “I want to,” I assure her. “Neither one of us wants to go home to empty houses just yet. A movie is exactly what we need.”
She nods, and I’m rewarded with a shy smile. “Drive safe,” she says softly.
It’s been a long damn time, too long in fact, since someone other than my daughter has cared enough to say those words to me. I know that’s on me. I don’t let people close, but Amanda, she’s different. This is different, and even more dangerous, but it’s a movie.
What’s the worst that could happen?
She buckles her belt, and I lean down so that we’re eye to eye. “I’ll be right behind you.”
She nods, and I have this sudden urge to press my lips to hers, but I know I can’t. Instead, I stand to my full height, close her door, and stalk off toward my truck.
Once I’m inside, I start the engine and close my eyes, my hands gripping the steering wheel as if my life depends on it. I know I should call her and tell her something came up, but deep down, I don’t want to. Just because I should, I just—I can’t do it.
Tonight, and that’s it. That’s all that I’m allowing myself. One movie, then I’ll go home and get my shit together.
I can’t have Amanda Holton, no matter how bad I want her.
“I’m going to go change,” Amanda says as I follow her into her condo. She reaches down to pick up the remote and hands it to me. “Pick us something,” she says, before turning and rushing up the stairs.
I’m not gonna lie, I watch her ass sway until I can’t see her any longer.
Reaching down, I adjust myself because, of course, my body reacts to her.
She’s fucking gorgeous. I take a seat on the couch and grab a pillow to place over my lap like a damn teenager and start scrolling through our options.
Honestly, I don’t care what we watch. I’m just happy to have more time with her.
Since this is it—this is the last time I let myself indulge like this, unless it’s at the request of her or my daughter—who am I to say no to that? I can hide the fact that I think about her more than I should.
A few minutes later, Amanda comes back downstairs. “Do you want a glass of wine or something else to drink?”
I turn to glance at her over my shoulder.
She’s in a pair of flannel pajama pants and a T-shirt.
Her hair is pulled up on top of her head, and her makeup is gone.
She doesn’t need it anyway, because she still takes my breath away.
I swallow back the thought before answering her.
“No wine, I’m driving, but water would be good. ”
She nods, disappears into the kitchen, and I force myself to turn back around and stare at the screen in front of me.
“Here you go.” She hands me a bottle of water before sitting next to me on the couch, with her glass of wine. She pulls the cover off the back and places it over her lap. “What did you decide on?”
“I didn’t,” I say, handing her the remote. “I don’t watch much TV outside of game tape or past games or the sports channels.” I chuckle. “Pick whatever, and I’ll be good with it.” Twisting the top off my bottle of water, I take a small sip, just to have something to do with my hands.
“This is a new series the girls at work have been talking about. Well, not new, but a new season. Love is Blind. I guess these people talk through walls and get engaged without ever seeing the person.”
“Really?” I ask her.
“Yep. They’re trying to see if love is blind, meaning you can fall in love without seeing them, but then they have to live together and stuff.”
“Huh.”
Amanda laughs so hard her body shakes, and I reach out to steady her hand so she doesn’t spill her wine. “Not impressed?” she asks, once she gets her laughter under control.
“I don’t know. I guess I just don’t see it. Yes, you should love someone for more than their looks, but are they really being honest about who they are? And what about attraction? You can care about someone deeply but not be attracted to them.”
She shrugs, a huge smile lighting up her face. “I guess we should start season one and see for ourselves. What do you say, Coach? Are you in?”
She’s different here. More relaxed, more herself, and I love it.
“Give me that,” I say. Reaching over, I take the remote from her hand, and she chuckles as I hit Play.