Chapter 21
HAYDEN
“What the hell happened?” Rett demands as I push through the small crowd and beeline for the bar.
I need…
I don’t know what I need.
Yes, I do. I need to be back inside that elevator with my lips on Hailee’s. Or preferably, in one of the hotel rooms above us. Just the two of us with the door locked and zero distractions.
As discreetly as I can, I reach between my legs and adjust myself, praying no one notices the fact that I’m rock fucking hard for the woman I just walked away from.
Was that the right thing to do? I have no idea. But I couldn’t stand there and forget everything that just happened while everyone asked us a million questions.
“The elevator broke down,” I shoot over my shoulder as I make eye contact with the bartender and order three fingers of whiskey. It won’t be anywhere near enough to settle the riot that’s happening inside me, but it’s a start.
“Well, yeah, we got that.”
“We tried calling for help, but the alarm wasn’t working. Thought we were going to be in there all night.”
“Nah, we missed you, man.”
His words make a smile twitch on my lips.
“Thought you were going to miss dinner.”
I’m not one to pass up food, but fuck if I wouldn’t have rather spent the night trapped in the elevator with Hailee than I would have sitting out here eating a three-course meal with her at a different table.
The moment my drink is placed in front of me, I lift it to my lips and swallow it all down.
“Shit. Are you claustrophobic or something?” Rett asks, Bea stepping up beside him and looping her arm through his.
“Or something,” I mutter before catching her eye. “Excuse me, I need the bathroom.”
They both watch me go with concern filling their eyes, but thankfully, they don’t follow me. Instead, I get the few minutes of peace I need to pull myself together.
I stand in front of the sinks and look myself dead in the eyes.
Darkness and pain still fill them, but there’s something a little lighter beginning to edge its way in.
Getting back to work and being with the guys is a big part of that.
But so is Hailee.
When I’m with her, everything quiets down.
My hand slips into my pocket for my cell, but I stop myself before I pull it free when I remember that I don’t have anyone to message about all this.
The temptation to turn left out of the bathroom and leave is strong, but knowing that it’ll only make everyone worry about me, I force myself to return to the main room, right as everyone is taking their seats for dinner.
I spot Hailee’s red dress instantly, and my teeth grind when I find Jude with his hand against the small of her back, guiding her to her seat.
Jealousy rips through me and my fists clench at my sides.
“Ah, there you are,” says Bea, stepping up beside me. “Come on. Everett has moved the name settings. You’re sitting with us now.”
“Of course he did,” I mutter under my breath as we approach the man in question.
Thanks to Rett tampering with the seating arrangement, I’m now sitting with Hailee in my direct line of sight.
It’s the most incredibly torturous experience.
I get to see every smile and every laugh. But knowing that none of them are directed at me, that others are making her happy, is like a knife through my chest.
“Why were you even in the elevator together in the first place?” Bea asks.
My breath catches and I drop my eyes to the table, but I fear it might already be too late.
I don’t think it’s a secret that I have a crush on Hailee—the guys have ribbed me over it before. But that doesn’t mean I want everyone to know what’s happened. The moments we’ve shared recently are between us.
“Oh, she found me looking sad and was trying to distract me.”
“By going up to the hotel rooms?” she asks with a raised eyebrow.
“Harlow,” I blurt. “She…she’d lost her iPad and Hailee—” My words are cut off as an appetizer appears before Bea.
She smiles at me. “I’m sure you know what you’re doing. I just…” She leans closer to ensure no one else around the table can hear. “I don’t want to see you hurting any more than you are already.”
Pain sits heavily on my shoulder. “Me either,” I admit.
She squeezes my forearm before turning her attention to her food. “I’m so hungry,” she murmurs as one by one, we each get our appetizers and dive in.
The meal drags painfully slowly, even with the conversation flowing around me. I’m sitting with some of my favorite people, but all I can think about is the woman in red opposite me.
Sometime before the servers arrived to take our plates away, Hailee glanced over at me. It might have been a coincidence, but there’s a part of me that wants to believe that she could feel me watching. Especially when she looked over a few more times during the main course and dessert.
Each time her eyes met mine, my temperature spiked, and my heart rate picked up. All I wanted to do was march over there, take her hand, and drag her out of the room to continue where we left off earlier.
It was the perfect tease of what could be between us. Well, assuming she isn’t regretting every single second of it, of course.
She was only being friendly and helping me get out of my own head.
But she grabbed your hand and led you to the elevators. She knew what she was doing, a little voice says.
By the time we’ve eaten dessert, all I can think about is getting her alone again, and that means leaving.
I may have asked her to save me a dance, but something tells me that after being discovered stuck in an elevator together, she’s not going to be up for a dance.
Once we’ve all moved away from the tables, I pull my cell from my pocket and prebook myself an Uber. I figure that’s long enough to be present. Then, with butterflies rioting in my stomach, I shoot off a message that I hope will change the direction of my evening.
Hayden: I have a car coming in fifteen minutes. I’ll make it wait for five minutes for you to join me. No pressure, no expectations, I’m just not ready for our evening to be over yet.
The nerves only get worse after I’ve hit send.
I glance over to where she’s talking to Brooke and Reese, and my stomach knots.
What if she doesn’t see the message?
“Shit,” I mutter before ducking out of the main room and heading toward the exit.
Thankfully, no one stops me to talk, and in only a few minutes, I walk out the main entrance and into the humid evening air.
My cell buzzes and my heart jumps into my throat. But it soon sinks again.
Mom: You look so handsome tonight. I hope it all goes well. We miss you x
I blow out a long, slow breath and close my eyes as they begin to pool with tears.
I remember the wide smile on Rylee’s face this time last year as I walked into this very event with her on my arm. She was so excited, and I was proud to have her by my side, to experience the start of my next chapter together.
I wasn’t stupid. I knew the end was coming.
Rylee had been battling for years. Every time we thought she’d beaten it and that she’d be able to live a normal life again, another symptom would pop up, and ultimately, it would lead to another diagnosis.
It was just an endless vicious cycle that barely ever let up.
I don’t know how she kept going. She was always so positive, so happy and smiley even after receiving the worst of news.
I wish I could have seen it that way. Instead, every time we were delivered bad news, all I could focus on was everything I was going to lose.
Forcing myself to keep breathing, I send a message back, telling them how much fun I’m having and that I miss them too.
The last thing I want is for them to be worrying about me.
They both have lives to rebuild. They’ve given so much of themselves to both Rylee and me over the years.
Despite her illness, they never forgot about me or let me down.
They always made sure I was at practice on time, and they were there at games.
They’ve supported me all the way, and all while ensuring Rylee was as cared for as possible.
Of course, it all came with sacrifices—and not just emotional ones, but financial ones too.
It was only in the last few years that I discovered the extent of it.
And the moment I did, I knew that I had to do whatever possible to get myself drafted.
My family needed the money. My parents didn’t deserve to spend the rest of their lives drowning in debt for ensuring that Rylee had the best possible medical care and chances at kicking cancer’s ass.
I like to think that they provided her with a few extra years. That we all got a little extra time as a family. But that doesn’t make it any less painful or easy to take.
The clock ticks down to my car’s arrival, and my unease over the message I sent to Hailee increases.
She still hasn’t read it. What if she doesn’t?
Then maybe it’s a sign that it’s not meant to be.
Unable to sit still, I begin marching back and forth, nervous energy coursing through my veins as thoughts of what the rest of my night could look like race through my head.
If she comes, where will I take her?
I can’t take her back to my place. It’s not even close to being good enough. Would it be rude to suggest we go to hers? I can’t take her to a hotel; she’ll assume I only want one thing. And yes, okay, while I would fucking love that, I’m also not opposed to just hanging out with her.
Before I know it, my cell is telling me that my car is arriving any minute, and there’s still no sign of Hailee—not that I’m expecting there to be. She still hasn’t read my message.
I debate calling her, forcing her away from whatever conversation she might be having. Or canceling the car and going in to find her.
Before I make a decision, a Tesla is heading right for me, and I know my time is up.
Hayden: The car is here. I’ll make him wait for five.
And I do. I put a timer on, and I wait.
It’s the longest five minutes of my life. And it only gets worse when those two gray ticks turn blue, telling me she’s read my messages.
I wait, barely able to breathe with my eyes locked on the entrance to the hotel, waiting for her to burst through any moment, looking hot as hell in that smoking red dress.
But it never happens.
She doesn’t come.
And when the timer goes off on my cell, I instruct the driver to leave. Forcing myself not to look back.