Chapter 22
HAILEE
Iopen the two messages from Hayden, and my heart lurches the moment I realize that his five-minute warning came through four minutes ago.
My head spins, my eyes landing on the doors.
Can I make it?
Should I even try?
Before I overthink it, I apologize to the season ticket holders I’m talking to and race across the room, my heart in my throat.
I go as fast as I dare. I really don’t need to be turning any attention my way, and I sure as hell can’t run in these shoes.
But that doesn’t mean I don’t pick up speed the moment I’m out of the ballroom.
I burst through the hotel entrance just in time to see a black Tesla pulling out of the parking lot.
“Shit,” I hiss, my entire body deflating.
I look around, suddenly nervous that someone will have followed me, will have known who I was chasing after.
I walk around the building and lower my ass to a bench and drop my head into my hands.
What was I thinking?
I can’t be running around after a hockey player, let alone a rookie who’s practically ten years younger than me.
None of that mattered when we were trapped in that elevator.
It didn’t matter in his hotel room, or the afternoon in my apartment, either.
When I’m with him, the rest of the world ceases to exist. I’ve never experienced it before. It’s freeing, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t craving it.
I keep telling myself that it’s my imagination, but then I spend more time with him, and I’m reminded that it’s very real.
But that doesn’t mean I should be chasing the high.
I shouldn’t have excused myself from that conversation in there and come running after him.
What was I even hoping for?
To carry on where we left off?
Heat rushes through me.
I kissed him.
Me.
I did that.
I can’t even blame him. He did exactly what he said he’d do. He handed me control and waited for me to make the move.
He listened to me, he understood me, and he allowed me the space to make my own decision. If you can have any space while being trapped inside an elevator with a hockey player.
He took up every inch in there. Not physically, of course. He’s big, but he’s not that big. He was just…everywhere. His scent, his touch, his supportive words, and his reassurance. His understanding.
Fuck. No one has ever listened to what I want, what I need personally, and actually taken it to heart.
At work, I can command the attention of some of the most powerful men in professional sports, but outside of the arena…well, life is very different.
But does it have to be?
Is there someone out there who could take the time to listen, to understand, to give me everything I’ve been convincing myself for years doesn’t exist?
I shake my head. It’s stupid. All of it.
I’m playing with fire.
Nothing good can come of these thoughts, of sneaking around in the shadows with a man I can’t have.
It’s for the best.
I might have come rushing out here to spend more time with him. But this is the right outcome.
What would we have even done had I gotten in that car?
I force those thoughts aside, get back to my feet, smooth my dress down, hold my head high, and walk back inside.
I ignore my cell for the rest of the night. I don’t know what’s worse—not having a message from him, or waking it up and seeing his name staring back at me.
Both are equally terrifying.
By the time I say my goodbyes and climb into the back of my own rideshare, I’m physically and mentally drained.
Thankfully, the driver is less than chatty, so I’m able to rest my head against the window and watch the evening pass me by.
I move on autopilot, forcing a smile at the concierge on shift and riding the elevator to my apartment. And the second I’m inside, my eyes drift to my balcony, and the image of Hayden standing out there shirtless fills my mind.
No one has been to my apartment. I keep my work and personal life separate. Not that difficult, seeing as I don’t really have a personal life.
After locking my door, I make my way through to my bedroom, stripping my dress off as I go.
The second it plummets to the floor, I almost step out of it and leave it there in a pile, but I can’t.
I love it too much. Wearing just my heels and my panties, I pick it up and take it into my walk-in closet and hang it up as it deserves.
Then I lower my ass to the bench and set about undoing my shoes.
I wince when I put my weight on my bare feet, and I hobble through to the bathroom to remove the rest of tonight from my body. If only it could be as easy to erase my memories.
No matter how hard I’ve tried, I can’t get the events inside the elevator out of my head.
With a face clear of makeup and my hair twisted in a knot on top of my head, I pull on my pajamas and an oversized Vipers hoodie before making myself a drink, grabbing my cell, and curling up on my lounger on the balcony.
I’m not sure why I think it’ll help. All I can see out here is him.
The way his big body took up almost all of the lounger opposite me.
The sharp lines of his torso, specifically the two deep indentations that disappeared beneath his shorts.
After tonight with him pressed up against me, I have a very good idea of what he’s hiding down there.
I squeeze my thighs together as I give up the fight and finally allow myself to remember every moment of our time in that elevator, from the moment it jolted to a stop to having to force ourselves away from each other.
In that moment, it was the last thing I wanted to do. I would have happily spent the rest of the night in that small box, enjoying whatever Hayden wanted to give me. And that’s a problem. A really big fucking problem.
With fire licking through my veins and the desire to finish off the job he started all those hours ago, I make the colossal mistake of looking at my cell.
I gasp when I find a single message from him among all the other notifications that have come through since his last message.
My heart begins to race, and my stomach knots.
Hayden: I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable tonight.
That was never my intention. If it isn’t already obvious, I like you, and I think you’re hot as hell.
But I understand that you’re not in the same place, and I’m sorry if I got carried away.
I blame it on the enclosed space. I hope you enjoy the rest of your night.
“Fuck,” I breathe, collapsing against the lounger. The thought of him being home alone now, feeling like he’s fucked up, doesn’t sit right with me, and despite knowing better, I find myself typing a reply only a few seconds later.
Hailee: Please don’t feel like you have to apologize, we were both there tonight, and both aware of our actions. You didn’t push me into anything. I’ve just got home and finally taken my heels off. Did you enjoy your night?
I hesitate to ask the question, aware that doing so will invite a response and will inevitably lead to a conversation, but in the end, I press send. If he’s gone home questioning everything, then a little light chitchat is the least he deserves.
As if he’s waiting for me, my message shows as read instantly, and then the dots begin bouncing, kicking my already racing heart into overdrive.
Hayden: Hey, I wasn’t expecting you to reply. I thought I’d blown it. I’m sorry for asking you to leave early. That was…wishful thinking, I guess. My night got considerably worse once those elevator doors opened, but I guess you don’t really want to hear that.
I squeeze my eyes closed, remembering all too well seeing what I assume was his Uber driving off after I went running after him.
I can’t tell him that, though. It’ll give him ideas…dangerous ideas…
Hailee: Stop apologizing. The rest of my night dragged a little too, mingling, small talk, all I wanted to do was take my shoes off and change into something more comfortable.
Hayden: That’s a damn shame because that dress…did I already mention how hot you looked?
My cheeks flame and I lift my hand, fanning myself.
Hailee: You may have mentioned it. Thank you. The dress was a little more—or less—than I’d usually wear to a work event, but I fell in love with it and couldn’t stop myself.
Hayden: I’m glad you didn’t stop yourself. You looked incredible. Most beautiful woman in the room, hands down.
Hailee: Stop.
Hayden: Only speaking the truth. Didn’t you see the way all the men looked at you?
Hailee: No, I didn’t.
I only saw the way you looked at me.
You need to shut this down, Hailee. It’s leading into dangerous territory.
Hayden: Distracted, huh? Maybe by someone in a tux?
Hailee: Every man in the room was wearing a tux…
Hayden: There must have been one who caught your eye…
Hailee: Compliments don’t land the same when you’re digging for it.
Hayden: Maybe not, but they’re still nice to hear, or read.
Hailee: You looked good tonight, Monroe.
Hayden: Did I smell good, too?
“Goddamn it,” I mutter.
Hailee: Better than you do after a game.
Hayden: Oh, burn.
My lips twitch with a smile as I imagine him laughing.
Hayden: What are you doing?
I hesitate, although I’m not sure why. It’s not like I’m lying in bed thinking about him.
No, you’re lying on a lounger doing exactly that.
Hailee: Sitting on my balcony watching the stars.
Hayden: Nice. I can’t see the stars from my apartment. Wish I could.
Hailee: Better negotiate a pay raise when your contract is up, get yourself a view.
Hayden: I have more important things to do with my money than buy a fancy penthouse.
Hailee: Oh?
This time, his response isn’t as fast, and I start to worry that I’ve overstepped.
But eventually, the dots start bouncing, and I stare anxiously at the screen, waiting to see what he has to say.
Hayden: Rylee’s care was expensive. I help my parents out every way I can.
“Shit,” I breathe, my chest tightening.
Hayden: Hockey has always been my dream. But knowing that if I made it, I’d be able to help them after everything they’ve done for us. Well, it means everything to do.
Hailee: You’re an incredible son and brother, Hayden. I hope you know that.
I picture him blushing, and damn it, I wish I could see it in person.
Hayden: It’s the least I can do. They deserve the world.
Hailee: So do you.
Hayden: Is that right?
Hayden: Honestly, I was just going for heaven. Felt like I got pretty close earlier tonight.
Hailee: You’re trouble.
Hayden: You love it.
“Shit.” I think…I think I might.
Hayden: I’m gonna crash. Been a long week. Speak to you soon?
Hailee: Goodnight, Hayden. Sleep well x
I stare at that little kiss I absently added to the end of my message for the longest time, to the point I startle when Hayden’s reply pops up.
Hayden: Goodnight. Dream of that distracting man in his tux. Something tells me that he’ll be thinking about you…