Chapter 24
HAILEE
Ice floods through my veins, replacing the fire that was racing through them only moments ago.
“Shit,” Hayden curses, lowering his forehead to mine.
“Bro, we’ve got a game to go play. Coach is freaking out, and you’re in here making out with someone. We thought something was seriously wrong.”
“Something is seriously wrong,” Hayden mutters. “I…I had a bit of a panic attack of sorts. My parents are out there, and Rylee isn’t. It just…it hit me out of nowhere.”
“Shit. Fuck. I’m sorry, man. That’s…yeah, that’s a lot. But—”
“Please, can you shut the door and walk away? Give us a moment. I’ll be right there.”
Suddenly, it occurs to me as to why Hayden hasn’t moved. He’s hiding me. Protecting me.
“It’s okay,” I whisper so only he can hear.
He shakes his head. “No, it’s not.”
“Uh…yeah, sure,” Rett agrees. “Before I go, though, I just gotta say, if there’s anyone out there who can ensure this doesn’t become front-page news at some point, it’s the woman you’re trying to hide from me.”
Silence.
“Proud of you, Caldwell. Didn’t think you had a reckless bone in your body. Two minutes, Monroe, and not a second more.”
“Got it.”
The door falls closed, and Hayden slams his closed fist against the wall above my head, making me shriek.
“Fuck. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“No, you didn’t. Just startled me.”
“I’m so sorry, I—”
“Hayden,” she says softly. “You didn’t make me follow you in here. And you didn’t make the first move. I’m the one who should be apologizing.”
“What? No. Never. Not for that. Don’t ever—”
“We’ll talk about this later.”
“Will we?” he asks, his eyes lighting up.
“Uh…” Shit. I really haven’t thought any of this through. “You need to get out there.”
I press my palms against his chest, for all the good it’ll do.
He’s huge and incredibly strong, and it only becomes more obvious when he’s in full gear.
He towers over my tiny frame in every way.
There’s no way Rett would have seen me around him, which means he knows way more about what’s going on here than I was expecting.
“Fuck,” he grunts, combing his hair back from his forehead. “I don’t think it’s sensible to play hockey with a boner.”
“Fucking hell.” I laugh as he flashes me one of his puppy-dog smirks. “Go. Go.”
He holds my eyes for another five seconds before he mutters something under his breath and finally slips out of the closet, letting the door close behind him before anyone can see me.
I squeeze my eyes shut and send up a prayer to anyone who’ll listen that Coach and this game are kind to him.
He really needs a win right now.
I force myself to stay inside the closet until I hear the shouts and cheers of the guys as they make their way down the tunnel, and I continue to hide as the starting lineup names are announced and the crowd goes wild.
Once I’m confident that I might be able to slip out of here unnoticed, I pull the door open, poke my head out, and then walk out with my shoulders back as if nothing happened.
The truth is, everything happened. But while I’m here and the game is playing, I refuse to overthink those few minutes in the closet.
Jesus Christ, what is it with enclosed spaces?
I walk down the tunnel just enough so I can see the game and keep myself hidden in the shadows as Kodie manages to score our first goal, only a minute in.
I glance at the bench just in time to see Hayden jump to his feet in celebration.
A smile pulls at my lips, watching his joy.
It’s at odds with the broken man I watched run into the closet not so long ago.
I tried to stop myself from following, but I couldn’t.
He needed someone, and in that moment, I was the only one who knew he was drowning.
My heart lurches when Coach calls for a shift change, and as Rett and Calvin race toward the boards, I watch as Hayden throws his leg over, ready to get his first ice time of the preseason.
His eyes lift the second his blades make contact, and when I follow his gaze, I find his parents on their feet, shouting and screaming.
Emotion races through me, making my nose itch and my eyes burn.
Yes, they’re hurting. Yes, they’re trying to figure out how to get through the worst days of their lives, but they’re here. They’re here for Hayden and supporting him the only way they know how.
I can’t help but wonder how that must feel.
My eyes continue to drift, but I freeze when I find a little girl beside Hayden’s mom.
She’s fully kitted out in Vipers merch, and her jersey, well, it has number ninety-six on the shoulders, and if she were to turn around, “Monroe,” would be on her back.
She’s jumping up and down in excitement, just like I’ve watched Sutton do a million times.
It’s not Rylee. It’ll never be Rylee. But there is something so right about having her in that space.
The future.
I just hope Hayden sees it the same way and finds some comfort in his new little supporter.
I watch him for a minute, and once I’m confident that he can do his job just as well as every other time he’s stepped out on that ice, I take off to do my own, watching the rest of the game from the press box.
It’s late by the time I’m making my way up to my office to grab my things. The high of our win has started to ebb away, replaced by nerves.
I didn’t make it to the friends and family suite after the game, which is where I suspect Hayden ended up spending some time with his parents.
Okay, yeah, that’s bullshit. I avoided it like the plague.
I have no doubt that he’d have seen me the second I walked in, and I’d have ended up being introduced to his parents.
I’ve met them before, but I highly doubt they know who I am or would even remember me. It’s never really bothered me, meeting the players’ families; I’m just happy that they have people who care enough about them to travel to attend games and support them.
The front office is quiet, and while I’m sure many would describe it as eerie, I quite like the calmness of a place that’s usually so full of life.
I’ve spent a lot of hours up here in the last few years working long past everyone else, with only the sound of a vacuum down the hallway as the cleaning staff does their thing.
As I walk past my assistant's tidy desk, my head is once again full of images from that cleaning closet earlier.
I’ve managed to push it aside while the excitement of the game was happening around me, but now that it’s all over, and everyone is heading home, I can’t stop myself from drifting back there.
I also haven’t forgotten that I promised him we’d talk about what happened.
We need to. That goes without saying, but…how exactly does that look?
Is he going to expect an invite to my place tonight? Or will he be too busy celebrating with the guys and put me off until tomorrow?
I figure the latter is probably the most likely. It’s what he should do. He was on fire tonight with two incredible assists.
There’s a part of me that wants to believe I helped with his performance tonight. Hell knows he went out there fired up. But also, I really do not want to become a part of any hockey player's pregame ritual. That’s a responsibility that no one needs.
I push my office door open and step inside, wondering if I’ll find a message on my cell from him. He sure made it clear that he wanted to talk to me at the press conference after the game when he kept catching my eye across the room.
I was so fucking proud of him as he sat up there with Coach and Fletch and graciously accepted praise about his performance tonight. I’m sure that beneath it all, he was a mess. But no one but me and the guys had any clue.
My media training last year after he first signed helped, but honestly, I’m pretty sure it was all him. He’s such a good guy, and all he wants is to make everyone happy, whether that be his teammates or the fans.
Clutching my iPad against my chest, I take a step toward my desk, not noticing anything adrift until my office chair begins moving.
“Holy shit,” I squeal in shock. “Hayden. Fuck,” I breathe as my heart tries to beat straight out of my chest.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” he says softly as he pushes to his feet and walks toward me.
His hands grip my upper arms, and he ducks low so he can look into my eyes.
“Are you okay?”
I nod. “I don’t think I quite had a heart attack,” I mutter.
“I guess I didn’t consider your age when I snuck up here.”
I gasp in horror before playfully swatting his shoulder.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he says, holding his hands up in surrender. “You know I didn’t mean that. You’re beautiful, and the hottest woman I’ve ever met and—”
“Okay, stop,” I say, placing my iPad on the desk and bending down to pull my purse from the cupboard beneath it. “What are you doing up here? Shouldn’t you be out celebrating?”
I freeze when he brushes his fingers down my spine.
“I was hoping to celebrate, sure,” he rasps as he steps closer behind me.
“Hayden.” It’s meant to be a warning, but it comes out sounding anything but.
His hand wraps around my hip, anchoring us together and reminding me just how electric it was between us in that closet. It’s also a reminder of just how much he wanted me. I can still feel the evidence against my ass.
“You said we’d talk,” he reminds me.
“I know, but—”
“No buts, Hails,” he argues.
“You should be with the guys,” I try again.
“I don’t want to be with them.”
“But Rett, what if he—”
“We can trust Rett. And anyway, he thinks I’m spending time with my parents. We’re safe, Hails. No one knows. And no one will know. Not if you don’t want them to.”
I squeeze my eyes closed.
It’s not about not wanting people to know. They can’t know.
If this were to come out…
I press my palm against my desk to steady myself.
It can’t. None of this can. If management were to find out, I’d be done.
“Hayden, we can’t—”
“I just want to talk, Hails.”
A laugh of disbelief spills from me.
“Huh, so you didn’t believe that either,” he mutters.
“You're hard, Hayden,” I whisper.
“I can’t help it.” His hand squeezes my hip. “When I’m close to you, I’m…powerless.”
Fuck.
I spin around and face him. It’s a huge fucking mistake, because the second my gaze lands on his lips, all I can think about is feeling them against mine again.
“We’ll have to go to my place. We can’t get caught together anywhere.”
“You make the rules, remember? I’ll follow your lead. Just tell me what to do.”
“You shouldn’t be this willing to get into this kind of trouble,” I warn him.
“I’ve never been in trouble in my life, Hails. I figure if I’m going to go to the wild side, then I might as well do it properly.”
My lips part to tell him that I’ve always done as I was told as well. But it would be a lie, because the day I decided to walk away from my old life was the day I defied everything.
And I will never, ever look back at that decision with regret. It was hands down the best thing I’ve ever done.
What if this is the same…
What if—
“I’ll meet you down in the parking garage in ten minutes. If you see a single person, message me, and I’ll walk a few blocks and you can—”
“Everyone has left. I won’t do anything to hurt you, Hails. I promise.”