Chapter 35
HAYDEN
The W in Boston was a hard-fought fight. We ended up winning in overtime, but really, it could have gone either way. They came out with a point to prove, and fuck, they almost made it.
Thanks to Handsy being a fucking legend, we managed to get the advantage before we got our asses back on the bus and headed for the airport.
It’s amazing how quickly you forget the exhaustion from all the travelling, and equally as amazing how fast it hits you again.
As much as I’d love to say we managed to come out on top in New York, it would be a lie.
We struggled to get it together. At times, we looked like a team that had never played together before. Coach was losing his shit because nothing was working. Everyone’s frustration levels were through the roof, but despite pushing harder, it just wasn’t our game.
We walked away with our first pre-season loss.
It stung, but it’s inevitable, and we all headed home with heavy hearts.
Everyone is ready for it. After a summer of spending time with loved ones, being away, especially for those with families, is hard.
And it’s only going to get harder in the coming months.
The flight home is much quieter than the one to Boston only a few days ago. No sooner have we taken off than the sound of guys snoring rings out around me.
Beside me, Brody puts his AirPods in and folds his arms across his chest—not that I’d try to spark a conversation with him. I learned that lesson a long time ago.
My body aches, desperate to get some rest, but my head has other ideas.
Despite Hailee calling me before both games, things are still different between us. There’s a distance, and not just a physical one, that wasn’t there before I left.
Something has happened; I just don’t know what.
I’ve pretty much convinced myself that the second I land, she’s going to tell me everything that’s happened between us has been a massive mistake, and I’ve got to forget all about it.
While I might understand why she would want to do that, I already know that I won’t be able to. Our time together, her support, has meant everything to me.
I’ll be okay without her. It’s not like I ever really had her in the first place. What we had was nothing more than a fantasy, I’m more than aware of that. I have been from that very first night. I just…I don’t want to let her go.
I glance at the time, but it’s too late to message her now.
There was a message waiting for me after our game earlier, but my reply has not gotten a response. I should be used to it by now. It’s pretty much been the same since I left LA.
Trying to ignore my need to reach out to her, I pull my Kindle from my bag and attempt to distract myself with my book, but the awareness that we’re now reading the same book means she’s always there in my thoughts.
More than once, I want to highlight a sentence or two and send them to her like I used to do with Rylee, but I hold myself back. Firstly, because I’m pretty sure I’ve overtaken her, and I don’t want to spoil anything, but also because I fear that she doesn’t want to hear from me.
The flight seems to go on forever, and by the time we land and everyone wakes up, they’re all grumpy and ready for their own beds.
I drive home in the dead of night, hating that I’m about to walk into a cold and empty apartment.
I’ve always wondered what it must feel like to have someone excited to see you walk through the front door, someone who doesn’t care that you’re stumbling in in the middle of the night because you’re more important than sleeping.
I carry my luggage into the elevator of my building, my need to shower and then crawl into bed growing. I turn the final corner that will lead me to my apartment, my eyes on the floor as I juggle with my luggage, trying to dig my keys out of my rucksack.
I’m so busy cursing myself out that I don’t notice someone standing at my front door. It’s not until I’m almost there that movement ahead of me finally makes me look up.
My breath catches, and everything in my hands crashes to the floor.
“Hails?” I whisper, scared that I’m imagining things.
I search her face, taking in her red-rimmed eyes that are full of tears, her pale skin, and her petite body that’s swamped by a giant hoodie.
“Shit. What’s wrong?” I ask, my stomach sinking to my feet.
I’ve known that something is wrong, but she’s refused to talk to me, to open up. I assumed that was because she didn’t want to, that she was cutting ties. But she’s here. She’s standing at my apartment door, waiting for me. She’s also on the verge of breaking down.
“Can I…can I come in?” she asks, glancing at my apartment door.
It’s nothing like hers. It’s not new with a shiny chrome number on it.
In fact, it’s the complete opposite. The paint is chipped, and one of my numbers has lost its screw and is now almost upside down.
And my apartment inside isn’t much better.
I don’t have the space she does, the nice furniture, or the gorgeous balcony.
Mine is full of thrift store finds, and my view is a brick wall.
It’s not exactly something to be proud of.
“Um…” I hate that I second-guess allowing her into my space. I know she won’t judge me for it, I just…I don’t want to have a memory of her dumping me in my own home.
“Please, Hayden.”
“Shit,” I hiss, unable to deny her anything. “Come on,” I say after finally locating my keys, gathering up all my stuff, and pushing the door open.
Hailee follows me inside silently, and I don’t dare look back to see the expression on her face as she looks around.
I dump all my stuff in the kitchen as Hailee slips past me into the living room.
“Did you want a drink?” I ask, aware that I probably only have bottles of water in the fridge.
“No, I’m okay.”
Sucking in some strength, I turn to look at her.
Sure, she looks tired, but she’s still the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. The sight of her standing in my apartment with her hands in her hoodie pocket makes my heart skip a beat just like it did the first time I saw her.
“What’s going on, Hails?” I force the words out past the giant lump in my throat, terrified of what’s going to follow.
“That loss last night sucked,” she says. “You played well, though.”
“I really didn’t, but I appreciate the support,” I say, grabbing myself a water and moving a little closer to her.
It’s a risk, because as the scent of her perfume gets stronger, all I want to do is reach out and pull her to me, and she isn’t really giving off vibes that she wants any of that right now.
“Hailee, I need—”
“I told HR about us,” she suddenly blurts, and I’m pretty sure the world stops turning.
“Y-you…you told…shit, Hailee,” I mutter, combing my hair back from my brow. “We’re not…are we…is this…” I swallow down the words I’m too scared to ask.
“I don’t know, but I couldn’t risk it being something and keeping it a secret. That’s a sure-fire way to lose my job.”
The stark reality of what she’s done hits me like a fucking truck.
“That’s why you’ve been distant,” I mutter, more to myself.
“I didn’t want you to worry,” she confesses.
“Worry? Are you kidding? I’d worry even if nothing had happened. I…I care about you, Hails. I—" I slam my lips together. This isn’t about me. “What did they say?”
She swallows thickly before reaching up to swipe a tear from her cheek.
“Fuck, did you get fired?”
My heart begins to race, panic surging through my veins.
“I’ll talk to them. Anthony, Grady, anyone. I’ll tell them that—”
“Hayden,” she says softly, her small, warm hand landing on my forearm.
I take a deep breath. “You haven’t done anything wrong, Hails. This…us…”
“I know, baby.” Fuck. The way she says that final word…it wraps around my chest and threatens to squeeze the life out of me.
“Katie went with you because I was advised not to go while they look into everything.”
“Fuck.”
“It’s okay,” she assures me with a shaky smile.
“No, it’s not. It’s not fucking okay, Hails. You’ve given everything to that organization. They owe you more respect than that.”
“Relationships between—”
“That’s bullshit,” I snap, cutting her off as my panic turns to anger. “You and I…it’s no different from anyone else in a relationship at the organization. You’re so fucking good at your job, and it’s not like you’re going to let me have an easy ride. You’re too much of a hard-ass for that.”
Her smile grows at my comment.
“Hayden—”
“No, this is fucking bullshit. I’m not having it. I’m not letting them take this away from you. I—”
“Hayden,” she says more firmly. “Anthony called me into a meeting this afternoon. It’s okay.”
“It’s okay?” I repeat, my head spinning out of control.
Now her smile really grows as she starts nodding.
“Turns out, he thinks I’m pretty good at my job too,” she says with a little laugh.
“Good, so he fucking should.”
“I think it helped that I went straight to them. I was honest and open, and they respected that. But he was also quick to remind me that other teams have fired people for less, and that many out there would go down a very different route.”
“Fuck,” I breathe. “So it’s really okay? You’ve still got a job, and we…”
“Should we take this anywhere, we need to remain professional, and if there’s any hint of something untoward, then I’m going to be straight out the door—”
“That’ll never happen,” I promise her. “When we’re at work, it’ll be like we don’t know each other.”
She smiles up at me, her eyes still glittering with emotion.
“You should have told me,” I say softly, lifting my hand to tuck a loose curl behind her ear.
“You needed to focus on your job, not mine.”
“We did this together. It wasn’t just you.”
“I know. But I’m the one in a position of power and I—”
“Don’t,” I warn her, cupping her jaw. “This…this has nothing to do with our jobs, with your position. Our jobs brought us into each other’s lives, that’s all.”
She nods, as aware as I am how true that is.
“So, what happens next?” I ask.
She shrugs one shoulder. “Whatever we want, I guess.”
“And what if I want to shout from the rooftops that you’re mine?”
Her wince is all the answer I need.
“I’m kidding.”
“Good. We might have gotten the okay from Anthony, but if we do this, it’s going to come with a lot of drama. And I don’t just mean from the league.”
My brows pinch as I stare into her eyes. “What do you mean?”
“We need to talk about my past and—”
“Whenever you’re ready, you can tell me anything. Right now, I just need to know if you’re willing to keep doing this with me.”
She rolls her lips into her mouth, making me wait for the answer I need.
“I…I don’t think I can stop.”
“Thank fuck for that,” I mutter before pulling her into my body and crashing my lips against hers.