Chapter 42
HAYDEN
“Oh, wow,” I breathe as we turn a corner, revealing an incredible waterfall before us. “That’s…pretty incredible.”
We stand side by side, taking a moment to appreciate the view before Hayden steps in front of me and takes my cheeks in his hands.
My face is no doubt a little red from the late summer sun, and I’m not wearing any makeup, and yet, Hayden is looking at me like I’m the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen.
“Yeah,” he muses, “I was thinking the same.”
“Stop,” I whisper, rolling my eyes at his cheesiness as I battle with my self-confidence to believe him.
A smirk pulls at his lips. “Never,” he promises, holding my eyes so I have little choice but to believe him. “Hungry?”
“Starving.”
Tightening his grip on my hand, he tugs me toward a private spot in the trees that showcases the waterfall before us.
“This is beautiful,” I whisper after lowering myself to the blanket he had in his rucksack while he gets out the food.
The sound of others visiting the waterfalls floats around us, but this spot is perfectly private. Confident that we’re safe from prying eyes, he turns his hat backward and drops down beside me.
“I wasn’t sure what you’d like, so I just got—”
“It’s perfect,” I praise, stopping him from babbling nervously by covering his hand with mine. “Everything is perfect.”
Our eyes hold, the air between us crackling in ways I’m becoming all too used to.
“Kiss me,” I demand.
“As if I’ll ever say no to you,” he mutters as he closes the distance between us, wrapping his hand around the back of my neck and kissing me as if he’ll never get the chance again.
When we part, we’re both smiling, and one look at him has a happy laugh exploding out of me.
“All of this is crazy. You know that, right?”
“Hell yeah. I’m sitting here with the hottest woman on the planet, and she just let me kiss her. Fucking insane.”
I shake my head. “Doesn’t it bother you?”
“Doesn’t what bother me, baby?” he asks, ripping open a sub bun and grabbing a couple of slices of ham.
“My age. My past. What everyone is going to say.”
He freezes before turning to look at me. “Are you kidding?”
“N-no. If we do this, it’ll come out eventually and—”
“I don’t care,” he says with zero hesitation. “I don’t care about anything that happened before we met. All of that, no matter what it was, it helped to make you who you are today.”
I smile at him, trying desperately to believe him. My heart wants to, but my head is holding me back.
“And why the hell would I care about your age? You’re hot, Hails. I have no issues with having a hot older woman curled up in my bed every night.”
“Jesus, you make me sound ancient.”
“Oh, hardly. What are you, twenty-nine?”
“Thirty,” I mumble, aware that I let that milestone pass by without anyone knowing. It’s how I wanted it to be. But I can’t deny that it didn’t sting when I didn’t hear a single thing from my parents.
I’m not sure why I’m surprised. I may as well have died along with Spencer that day.
Sure, I was still around, but they weren’t interested in me.
All they wanted was to ensure the business had a future, and that meant marrying me off to someone who they deemed to be an eligible candidate and popping out a handful of kids—boys, preferably—that they could pull into the empire once they were of age.
And for a few years there, I was the fucking idiot who just rolled with it.
“Since when?” Hayden asks, narrowing his eyes at me.
“Since my birthday,” I quip.
He rolls his eyes as he adds some cheese to the sub he’s making.
“And that is when, exactly.”
I mumble the date under my breath.
“I’m sorry, a little louder.”
“Fine,” I huff, giving him the date.
“What did you do for it?”
“I didn’t have a massive party, if that’s what you’re asking.”
“So what did you do?”
“Nothing,” I mutter.
“Nothing?” he repeats, his eyes wide with horror.
“Yeah, nothing. It isn’t a big deal. Just another day.”
“But you were thirty. It should be a big deal because you are a big deal, and you deserve to be celebrated.”
Emotion tickles my nose, tears burning the backs of my eyes.
Don’t cry. Do not cry, not over this.
“Yeah, well. No one else agrees, so I just…continued as normal.”
“That’s fucking bullshit,” he snaps, a lick of anger in his tone. “What about your parents?”
“What about them? They forgot I existed the day I broke out of the chains they had me shackled by.”
“Shit,” he hisses, dragging his hand down his face. “Here,” he adds, handing me the sub he’s put together.
Silently, I take it, my fingers brushing against his warm ones, sending a shot of electricity down my arm.
“Thanks,” I whisper before lifting it to my mouth and taking a bite.
“We’re gonna have a do-over.”
I frown. “A do-over? For what?”
“Your birthday.”
“Oh, no. That’s okay. I haven’t celebrated in years; this is normal now.”
“And that is exactly why you should be celebrating,” he argues. “Leave it to me.”
“Hayden,” I warn. “I don’t want to threaten bodily harm, but if you so much as even consider throwing me a surprise party, I will hurt you.”
He chuckles, totally unfazed. “Leave it to me, baby. I’ll come up with the perfect way to celebrate.”
“Really not necessary,” I mutter.
He reaches over, grabbing my free hand. “You’re my girl now,” he says proudly. “And if I want to celebrate you, then I’m gonna fucking do it.”
I want to argue, but the twinkle of excitement in his eyes stops me.
“No big party.”
“Hmm.”
“Hayden, promise me. No big party.”
He rolls his eyes and huffs in faux annoyance. “Okay, fine. But it will be awesome and worthy of you.”
The need to continue arguing dances on the tip of my tongue, but I swallow it down because he looks too freaking happy as he silently plans God knows what.
“Back to what you said a few minutes ago.”
“Which part?” he asks, making a second sub for himself.
“The part about me being your girl.”
“What about it?” He glances over, a little fear flickering in his eyes.
“Is that…what are we…”
“Hails, are you nervous?” he asks, a smile twitching at his lips.
A huge breath rushes from my lungs. “I’ve never done this, Hayden. I don’t know the rules or what we’re meant to do next. And it’s not just about us; we’ve got an entire organization that is going to come under scrutiny because of it.”
“That’s okay,” he says as if we’re talking about something simple like what to have for dinner.
“How can you be so chill about all this?”
“The franchise will be fine because they’ve got a kick-ass PR Director, with an incredible team beneath her who will do their job and keep the bullshit to a minimum.
But also, I don’t fucking care what anyone else thinks or says.
Fuck the jealousy-fueled stories on social media, or the bullshit the bunnies are gonna spew.
None of that matters. It’s just white noise.
The only thing I care about is that you’re happy.
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: you’re in charge here, Hails.
Whatever you say goes. You want to send a press release out announcing this to the world, then you do that.
You want to keep it under wraps a little longer, then that’s okay too, as long as I get to have you behind closed doors. ”
“I’m not ready for the world to know,” I say softly.
There’s still so much that I need to tell him before everyone else weighs in with an opinion.
And I know that the second this hits the media, there’s going to be one person in particular who’s going to have something to say, and the longer I can keep him out of my life, the better.
“Okay,” he says, as if it’s the easiest decision he’s ever made. “I don’t mind you being my dirty little secret for a while longer.”
I hate that he makes it sound like we’re doing something wrong.
We’re not.
I’ve put my neck on the line and been given permission to explore this without upending my life. I can only hope everyone else will see it the way Anthony did, but I already know that’s wishful thinking.
We’re not just a boy and a girl who’ve found something together.
We’re a PR Director and a professional hockey player.
And not just a player, a rookie. He’s barely old enough to drink, and I’ve recently entered my fourth decade of life.
Everyone and their wife will have an opinion.
Before that can happen, we need to be solid.
We need to be in a position to withstand the backlash.
And that means being open and honest about all the worst parts of my past that I’ve tried to smother over the last few years.
“You know that this is going to throw your world into chaos, right?” I ask, needing to know that he understands what he’s getting into.
“It doesn’t matter, Hails. All I want is you.”
I nod, my chest tightening as he stares at me with so much emotion swirling in his eyes.
“Yeah, me too.”
“No matter what happens next, we’ll figure it out together, yeah?”
I agree before we shift the conversation away from the heavy stuff, allowing me to ignore all the things I need to tell him for a while longer.
We have the most incredible day. After eating our picnic, we head off hand in hand on the trail, taking in the incredible scenery and the peace it provides.
By the time we make it back to his car, I’m relaxed, and my heart is so happy.
Everything about being with Hayden is easy.
I’ve never experienced being able to be exactly who I am with someone before.
Previously, I’ve always felt like I’ve had something to prove, someone to impress.
But that’s never been the case with Hayden, and it’s the freest I think I’ve ever felt in my life.
“Now what?” I ask once we’re heading back into town. We’ve been out hiking almost all day, the sun is beginning to set, turning the sky a beautiful shade of orange, my skin is glowing, and my muscles are aching in a way that makes me feel alive.
If I’m being honest, I’m not ready for our time together to be over, but I’m very aware that he needs to be back at training tomorrow, and of course, my job is always calling.
“That’s up to you. I could drop you at home or we could—”
“Have dinner with me,” I interrupt.
“Yeah?” he asks, his entire face lighting up at the prospect of more time with me.
“Yeah. What time do you have to be at the arena tomorrow?”
“Early.”
“Did you…did you want to stay?”
“Hailee Caldwell, did you just ask me to have a sleepover at your place?” he teases.
“No one other than me has ever slept at my place,” I explain.
He doesn’t respond; instead, he just keeps looking between me and the road ahead.
“Hell, before you turned up with my suitcase, no one had even been inside.”
“What?” He balks. “But…what about friends or…shit,” he hisses, dragging a hand down his face as he realizes just how empty my life was before him.
“Things are changing,” I muse.
“Hell yeah, they are. I’d love to stay the night, if you’re willing to have me.”
“Yeah, you looked hot in my place.”
“Pfft, I look hot wherever I am, and you know it.”
“I’m not sure about that, but I’m pretty sure you know it, hotshot.”
He chuckles.
“Swing by your place and grab some stuff.”
“Gray sweatpants?” he teases.
“I mean, if you want,” I say innocently as if I hadn’t already thought about it. “And your book.”
“What about my glasses?”
I swallow thickly.
“Umm…yeah. I’d hate for you to strain your eyes.”
His laughter rings through the air, and I realize that it’s quickly becoming my favorite sound.