Chapter 12
MATT
Istared up at the ceiling in Maddie’s dorm room and tried to think of my next move. My neck had a crick in it from sleeping on her tiny twin bed, but as uncomfortable as it was, I didn’t want to leave. Not with how she curled around my neck like that spot was where she belonged.
But I had to go, and I was about to leave without saying goodbye. Because I wasn’t supposed to sleep with her, and now I had to pretend like this didn’t change anything.
I carefully untangled her from around my chest and slid her head back onto her pillow. I crawled out of bed as quietly as I could.
I had zero regrets about our night together, but taking her virginity made me feel like it shouldn’t have been me. She was my teammate’s baby sister. Not just any teammate but my mentor’s sister. The guy who invited me into his home and gave me pointers on my game. The one guy on the team that I trusted with anything. And what did I do to repay him? Snuck out and slept with his sister. If Noah found out, my body would be at the bottom of the Schuylkill River.
I found my phone, changed back into my clothes from last night, and walked out of her suite. I pulled out my phone and brought up a rideshare app. I had to be at morning skate, and I was on the opposite side of the city, so SEPTA was not a choice.
I ordered a car and groaned at the rate. Panic coursed through me when I saw a text from Noah.
NOAH: Yo dude. You riding with me?
NOAH: ??
NOAH: Did you come home last night?
Fuck me.
ME: Sorry. Crashed at a friend’s last night. See you at morning skate.
I waited for the car to arrive, and once inside, I let my thoughts marinate inside my brain. I shouldn’t have left without saying anything, but I couldn’t be late for morning skate. I didn’t want to get benched again. It was still a dick move, though, and she didn’t deserve that.
I liked Maddie. I really did. I liked how she helped me do that ad, even though she had still been pissed at me for what happened at the wedding. She was honest about her joys and passionate about her work with Dinah. It was refreshing when she pushed back at me when she thought I’d shame her for her reading choices. I especially loved that she knew more about hockey than those douchey pylons she wanted to hook up with.
But as much as I liked all those things about her, or loved her pretty smile and how it lit up the room, she was still my teammate’s sister. And we could never ever have a repeat of last night, no matter how much we both wanted it.
When I got to the arena, I rushed into the locker room and shed my clothes for my equipment. There were only a couple of guys still milling around the locker room. Some teams got rid of morning skate, but LaVoie kept it, making it optional. If you were a rookie like me who wanted to make sure you stayed on the team, you knew that meant it was mandatory.
Benny was lacing up his skates when I pulled on my jersey.
“You okay, Cally?” he asked, a dark eyebrow raised at me.
“Yeah,” I muttered.
Huge lie.
“You sure? Because you look like you got a lot on your mind.”
I swallowed.
And then it hit me. Holy shit. Benny was the one guy on the team I could talk to about my situation since he had been in the same one when he and Rox got together. If anyone could guide me on how to handle Noah, it was Benny. I couldn’t believe I hadn’t thought of it before.
“Can we talk?” I asked him.
He tilted his head at me, curiosity materializing across his face. “Sure, bud. Now?”
“After? Can you give me a ride home? I didn’t sleep at Noah’s last night.”
That got me another raised eyebrow look. “Girl problems?”
I laced up my skates. “Partly. Can we talk privately?”
His eyebrow rose even higher. “Okay, kid. Let’s do lunch at my place, and we can talk.”
I nodded, and we walked out of the locker room and onto the ice together. Most of the guys were already on the ice warming up. I skated across it, trying to shake away my conflicted thoughts. I hadn’t checked the lines this morning, so I wasn’t sure I was getting ice time tonight to begin with.
I did a couple of laps before Coach blew the whistle, and we did a few drills to get ourselves loose for the game tonight. Morning skate wasn’t as taxing as practice, and that was why Coach made them optional, but I needed to show up to prove how important they were to my game.
After morning skate was over, a few of the guys met with the media. Then I sat through a couple of meetings going over video review of our opponent. We were playing Columbus, but we were the stronger team, even though our past few seasons we’d been struggling.
I had been avoiding Noah all morning, but when lunch came around, he came up to me. “Hey, man, you doing lunch with us?”
I shook my head. “I’m going elsewhere today.”
Noah narrowed his eyes at me. That was out of the ordinary for me. I always did lunch with the boys in the player’s lounge, and hockey players rarely changed their routine. We were superstitious like that.
“You okay?” he asked.
“Just need to switch it up. ”
“Right.”
“I’ll see you at home,” I told him and then high-tailed it out of there.
I had no idea where Benny was, but I figured I’d wait at his car for him. This situation with Maddie was a mess. Normally, Noah would have been the guy I asked for advice, but I couldn’t ask him for advice about himself.
When I walked out to the player’s parking lot, Benny was standing outside of his SUV, twirling his keys in his hand and waiting for me.
I gave him a wave and got into the passenger seat. Once we were settled, he drove off to his place in Old City.
“What’s on your mind, kid?” he asked.
“I fucked up,” I admitted.
“Okay…”
“How badly did TJ take it when he found out about you and Rox?”
Benny groaned. “It was colossally bad! But that hadn’t been my intention. Rox and I had a plan. We were gonna sit him down with a few drinks and tell him we were together. That I loved her and nothing, not even him, would stand in my way.”
That sounded like a good plan, and it could work with Noah. If I came to him upfront about my intentions with Maddie, he’d respect that.
“But what happened?” I asked.
Benny frowned. “He came home and heard us fucking.”
My eyebrows rose all the way to the ceiling. That was worse than I had imagined.
Benny ran a hand through his beard. “Yeah, it was bad. His dad and him got me drunk and then had me doing lines on the ice the next morning until I wanted to puke. Alain only accepted me because I got up into his face about Rox. What does that have to do with your lady problems…” he trailed off before he could complete his question, the answer already hitting him. “Oh, fuck. Who?”
“Maddie.”
“Who?”
“Noah’s little sister.”
Benny cringed. “Oof. And you live with him. But that shouldn’t be too bad. Noah’s a level-headed guy.”
Yeah, he was, but not with Maddie. It looked like he wanted to murder me at his wedding.
“It gets worse,” I revealed.
“What did you do?”
“I took her virginity, and then I left this morning without a goodbye.”
Benny rubbed his temples and breathed out an annoyed sigh. “One, virginity’s a social construct, and Rox told me you two already did oral, so technically, you already had sex. And two, what the fuck is wrong with you?”
Rox told him? What the fuck?
“I told you I fucked up. And why does your girlfriend know that?”
Benny laughed. “She only told me because she thought it was funny we had similar stories. But again, what’s wrong with you?”
I groaned. “I was going to be late for morning skate. To be honest, I think she just wanted to have sex. I’ve been her wingman.”
His eyes were on the road, but I saw the way his face scrunched up in confusion. “Her what?”
“She helped me with a sponsor thing I needed to do, and I was supposed to help her find a guy who could deflower her.”
“Are you sure she wasn’t trying to get you to be that guy?”
Wait a second. He was onto something. Maddie had picked out the douchiest guys she could find when we went out. Had she done that on purpose? Last night, she said she wanted it to be me. Was her dragging me to all those parties just an elaborate ruse? Did sweet pea really play me like that?
“I’m not sure,” I admitted.
“You like her?”
“Yes.”
“Do you want to be her boyfriend?”
Yes. I did. I wanted to resist her, to keep her in the friendzone, but I wasn’t sure I could. Maddie, with her sweet smile and her passion, made me want to listen to her forever. I loved being near her and talking to her, even if it was just a couple of texts. That’s why I knew going to her dorm last night was a bad idea. But I did it anyway because she made me want to be bad with her.
“I really like her,” I admitted.
Benny turned down on his street and drove into the parking garage of his building. “Okay, tell you what. First, you apologize. Second, you need to tell her what you want. Rox and I weren’t on the same page when we got together. If she wants a casual thing, no point ruffling feathers by talking to Noah.”
I nodded. Right. If she wanted to use me for sex, we could go back to the friendzone, and I didn’t have to tell Noah anything. We could pretend it never happened.
Benny parked his SUV. “Gotta admit, kid, it surprised me you asked for my advice, but you can’t ask Noah about fucking his sister.”
“Benny!”
The dick laughed at me. “Come on, rookie, let’s eat. Focus on the game tonight, and then you can go talk to your lady about whatever’s going on. You need to work that shit out with her before you go to Noah.”
I nodded and followed him up to his condo. He was right. I knew he was right, but it didn’t dislodge the rock in the pit of my stomach.